View Full Version : Alpha male - what does that mean to you gals?
tenaciousBLADE
12-11-2006, 08:37 PM
I think the title says it all :)
Please girls, women... Share your views.
Say it all in my
face... tell me the most honnest views you have on the term Alpha Male & its' meaning(s).
I'm sure this should
be a great discussion theme. Both women & man alike would have great interest in this matter.
So please... share
share share :whip:;)
------------------------------
Edit Add:
I just read
this thread (http://www.pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15859), where the issue of an Alpha-Male
defenition came to be discussed. There aren't many answers\points of view there, but I thought it could be a nice
reference.
Anyhow, the question isn't really answered there... So I still implore you gals to share your own
opinions :D
BTW, belgareth... this may be off topic, but if you're reading this... I've just added something
you said there, into my favorite quotes :thumbsup:
Here it is:
You may notice I rarely presume to give
advice [...] other than recomending a reasonable method of testing [...] or clearly stipulating that this applies to
me only. The same even applies to fields I am considered an expert in, it helps me keep my
big foot out of my big mouth. :goodpost:
slickracer
12-12-2006, 12:12 AM
one thing i have come to
realized with this is that, women finds a 'MAN' that knows what what his 'role' in life is, attractive. if you
have to be told what a 'man' should do, then you are not worthy enough to be one in thier eyes.
i feel bad for
the boys that are being raised by single mothers. but if the father isn't going to be a 'father' then i guess its
best they don't learn form them. i guess everything has to balance out.
i'll give you alittle hint that i have
stumbled upon. check out other animals, after all we are just another animal on this planet, with a different system
and prespective.
tenaciousBLADE
12-12-2006, 02:00 AM
I was a pus once... my
father was once upon a time a friend, but never a `father` (we're ok now though)...
But I learned by myself & with
the help of my best friend, who's a real alpha. He says I'm better than him sometimes... but I don't take it too
much to my ego :)
Anyhow, I'm just wondering about the women's opinions & points of view...
I don't need to
be told how to be a men. But it always helps to know the other sides' point of view ;)
I personaly agree
somewhat with the "I know my role" man usualy being an alpha.
But the question remains: What are the women
saying about it?
Gegogi
12-12-2006, 03:29 AM
Not too many women 'round these
parts for some time now. A few boy's club yee-ha types ran them off.
Rather trying to be a man, alpha or
whatever--that's easy--I focus on being the best at what I do.
tounge
12-12-2006, 11:32 AM
Not too many women
'round these parts for some time now. A few boy's club yee-ha types ran them off.
This is a load of crap. Nobody ran anybody off of here. People come and go on their own accord.
And why don't you post some examples, if you are going to keep throwing out this charge.
Gegogi
12-12-2006, 12:37 PM
Basically a small core of
guys--most of which are now banned--created a female hostile environment, especially with the David D. and I'm
entitled to female attention because I'm a needy man talk. Many discussions degenerated into a boy's lockerroom
with little or no concern for the views of the females involved. I was offended and ashamed of their obvious lack of
perspective on human relationships. And Tounge, if your tone of pen here is any indication of style, you could have
easily offended someone. If you disagree, it is more civil to simply write, "I disagree because of such and such"
rather hurl doodoo (e.g., a pallet-board of feces). Yes, people do come and go on their own accord. Nevertheless,
they often the choice to leave for a good reason. In fairless, I haven't seen it much since all the banning and
fleeing a year or so ago.
belgareth
12-12-2006, 01:35 PM
Now that we've had a chance to
vent, can we please go back to the topic?
tenaciousBLADE
12-12-2006, 09:23 PM
thanks belgareth
i feel bad for the
boys that are being raised by single mothers. but if the father isn't going to be a 'father' then i guess its
best they don't learn form them. i guess everything has to balance out.
slightly O/T but here
it is anyway...
As a divorced father of two boys 12 & 13, this is exactly the reason why I've moved across
the country to a new city. To be with my kids.
My father was never around and I"m not close to him at all, I
don't want my boys growing up without me wondering who I am... I just don't understand men that bugger off and
start a new marriage elsewhere leaving their children behind, never to see them except for the odd holiday. shame on
them for being so selfish.
OK.
rant over, this is a subject that gets me hopping mad. :frustrate :run:
belgareth
12-14-2006, 08:15 PM
I just don't
understand men that bugger off and start a new marriage elsewhere leaving their children behind, never to see them
except for the odd holiday. shame on them for being so selfish.
OK.
rant over, this is a subject that gets me
hopping mad. :frustrate :run:
Same here. My ex wife is the one that took off and left me with a daughter
to raise. Although, I can't say my daughter is any the worse for it.
tenaciousBLADE
12-14-2006, 09:51 PM
slightly O/T but here it is anyway...
As a divorced father of two
boys 12 & 13, this is exactly the reason why I've moved across the country to a new city. To be with my kids.
My
father was never around and I"m not close to him at all, I don't want my boys growing up without me wondering who I
am... I just don't understand men that bugger off and start a new marriage elsewhere leaving their children behind,
never to see them except for the odd holiday. shame on them for being so selfish.
OK.
rant over, this is a subject
that gets me hopping mad. :frustrate :run: Wow... harsh one :(
I can't help but feel bad for those
children.
Get's me thinking though - those are NOT alpha-males in my book. I have an ex-g/f whos father &
mother got divorsed (mine are too, but that's not the point). Her father got remaried, but didn't stop being a
friend to the mother & even supports her financially as much as he can (he's lucky to be the best in his field or
one of the three; so he's got the money to help).
Now her mother got cancer, and if the father wouldn't be in
such good relations (relatively that is) with the mother... then I presume that my ex would have it much tougher on
her.
So is he an alpha male?
I'm not yet sure.
I know my own defenition - but it's a very demanding
one. I'm an alpha in a few fields, but in others I guess I have so much to work on :\
You know how it is...
:o
As I see it, spreading the genes is not enough. You gotta make sure the children are brought up the right way
& end up being better than you... The genes are NOT the only factor in survival.
Anyway back to the subject - So
we get that going with the "I'm gonna spread my genes & have as many families as possible, without having the care
of being the father charecter" is not necessarily the Alpha-Males' approach.
In my book it's not even close.
But
what is then? (Specially in a womans' point of view) :POKE:
Gegogi
12-15-2006, 12:03 AM
Well, I'm not a "gal" (maybe a
girlie man!). But here's my take on it:
For humans, alpha male does not mean exactly the same thing as it
does in a wolf pack, nor is it the same thing as it was during prehistoric times. However, like a wold pack, a human
alpha male is a leader, err, the top dog. To be top dog requires an intelligent, confident, and successful male with
unusually strong leadership qualities. A guy that really stands out from the crowd. A promiscuous, chest beating
moron is not an alpha male (that's a dickhead loser). A badboy is not an alpha male (the guy getting arrested on
"Cops"). A punk in a nightclub bedding dumb bimbos is not an alpha male (future AIDs patent and car saleman). A
typical alpha male is a high ranking business executive or politician. Think Steve Jobs, Trump or Bill
Clinton.
I believe you can teach leadership skills to some extent. Nevertheless, most of us don't really
have what it takes to be a great leader among men. I suspect some magical combination of genes and environment an
alpha makes. That doesn't mean there isn't a little alpha in most guys. You can be the leader of a tiny
domain--your rock band, sports team or small business. However takes a lot more to rise to the level of a truly
great leader in our society and a full on alpha male.
tenaciousBLADE
12-15-2006, 01:43 AM
Well, I'm not a
"gal" (maybe a girlie man!).
Actually, this thread was originally posted at the women's forum. I guess the
moderators moved it :)
Anyhow, more suggestions\opinions anyone?
Mungojerry
12-15-2006, 11:46 AM
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
To be top dog requires
an intelligent, confident, and successful male with unusually strong leadership qualities. A guy that really stands
out from the crowd. A promiscuous, chest beating moron is not an alpha male (that's a dickhead loser). A badboy is
not an alpha male (the guy getting arrested on "Cops"). A punk in a nightclub bedding dumb bimbos is not an alpha
male (future AIDs patent and car saleman). A typical alpha male is a high ranking business executive or politician.
Think Steve Jobs, Trump or Bill Clinton.
I was going to reply "on topic" but i think this quote
from Gegogi sums up in far better words then I could come up with my take on it all. (sometimes I wish I had a more
academic brain , rather then a practical one) Pity that too many men belive in his examples of what it ain't,
rather then what it is...
tenaciousBLADE
12-16-2006, 11:37 AM
A man
who can control others if he choses, but cannot himself be controlled by anyone else, no matter how much
manipulation is thrown at him.
I like this defenition :)
I wouldn't call it a full defenition, but I like
it a lot :thumbsup:
Mungojerry
12-18-2006, 04:30 PM
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
Gegogi
12-18-2006, 05:17 PM
The trouble is, it also describes
the "Lone Wolf." Many lone wolf types could be, or once were, true alphas, that is, leaders among their kind. The
lone wolf thing tends to come with age and fading energy, disillusionment, drinking/drug problems (it's stressful
to be a leader) or poor communication skills.
Of course not every man can or should be an alpha. Otherwise
our society would be in even worse disarray with only Chiefs and no dad burn Indians!
I've noticed in
student lead group projects, a dormant or immature alpha male or female will quickly seize the reins and begin
controlling the group. Those with leadership qualities are immediately apparent. Something I end up with 2 in a
group and they butt heads endlessly. Occasionally there are no alpha personalities and the group fails utterly. The
odd thing is the alpha personality types are usually no more knowledgeable or experienced than the other students.
It's not uncommon for them to lead the other students off a cliff! They simply have the charisma and skills to
organize and direct the other students. Also, the alpha personality is just as likely to be male or
female.
My final observation is the alpha females are usually the most commanding and demanding in their
leadership. They take no prisoners! The guys tend to be more gentle and easy going.
Mungojerry
12-18-2006, 05:54 PM
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Marlboro_man
12-18-2006, 08:35 PM
The alpha male approach I
shoot for is:
That guy that's out in a social setting such as a bar. People walk in make sure they say hi to
him. People always ask his advice. He tends to be the surrounded by alot of people all the time who value him and
respect him. He is honest, true, respectable and sincere.
An Alpha male is a guy who leads by example, has lots
of friends. is well respected and someone who enjoys life. After all this is the kind of person we all want to be
around right?
d3kst3r
12-19-2006, 05:31 AM
My definition of an alpha male
is a man who makes no attempts to pretend to be anything other than what he is and simply doesn't give a damn about
other people's pre-conceptions. An alpha male is a trend setter, not a follower, someone who takes the initiative
not someone who waits. Whether he's a lone wolf or a natural leader, it makes no difference. Some fine examples
would be George Clooney, Brad Pitt's character in Fight Club and Daniel Craig's version of James Bond.
tenaciousBLADE
12-19-2006, 07:10 AM
well, let's see...
I feel it at least covers ground that definitely is within the concept of
alpha male, even if it doesn't flesh out the concept to the boundaries.
Mungojerry,
I feel there might
be some exeptional spesific insidents where this defenition is applied, yet the man remains a non-alpha... like when
someone is in such rage that no one can control him (i.e. he is mad to the bad side).
An example of such a case
could be, as Gegogi mentioned, a "Lone Wolf" gone bad with time.. or with anger... or whatever else can make a man
rot... : \
Now, I know you said
Even so, if you are a lone wolf, but are still beyond the
control or others, but can control others yourself [e.g. make decisions others follow, or stir up emotions in others
minds] then i'd still say you were pretty alpha. Or at least someone whom i'd still aspire to be on those
dimensions
I disagree. An Alpha should also know what orders to give. Morality & such DO
play a part here. A lone wolf that can do as you said, might also give an order to kill 400 people; an order which
the other person would take fully (as we mentioned he can, if he chooses, control others). That WOULDN'T be an
Alpha male's order, yet that lone wolf might give it.
But, I do generally agree to what you said, as they
say there's an exeption to every rule ;)
The only thing I have to add to your defenition then, is that he should
also know how to control himself (and always do it).
"Now I know what an alpha male is, how do
I become one?"
Now, in my opinion, that is far more productive question! ;)
Damn... you are so right LOL
I suggest you start a thread on this question... lead people to this
thread in the first post for ideas, and then ask them your question... I'd be delighted to read the results...
wow... you struck a pot of gold there... :D
Gegogi, your post was interesting... not just the lone wolf part,
but mostly the student observation :goodpost:
Now, about this:
If you can keep your head
when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men
doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by
waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to
hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream -- and not make dreams
your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and
Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've
spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to,
broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your
winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your
beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and
sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in
you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your
virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt
you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving
minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in
it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!
Wow... wow, WOW,
WOAW!!!
It's so good it makes me wanna curse into the air while putting on a smile that
can never let go.
Wow/
CptKipling... if you're reding this...
It gave me the chills :D
Mungojerry, where is this from? can you link the post please?
:)
The alpha male approach I shoot for is:
That guy that's out in a social setting
such as a bar. People walk in make sure they say hi to him. People always ask his advice. He tends to be the
surrounded by alot of people all the time who value him and respect him. He is honest, true, respectable and
sincere.
An Alpha male is a guy who leads by example, has lots of friends. is well respected and someone who
enjoys life. After all this is the kind of person we all want to be around right?
malboro_man, I see your
view & agree. Yet those were mostly the affects of him being an Alpha, and not the qualities that make him
one.
Think you can rephrase\elaborate? :o
My definition of an alpha male is a man who makes no attempts
to pretend to be anything other than what he is and simply doesn't give a damn about other people's
pre-conceptions. An alpha male is a trend setter, not a follower, someone who takes the
initiative not someone who waits.
d3kst3r, Very interesting. I think, again, this is a partial defenition.
Don't get me wrong here, I myself have also no full defenition. And I like this one a lot :thumbsup:
I'll edit this post later for grammer & mainor corrections, but my time is up :LOL:
Everybody, good posts...
please keep on giving your opinions. They give us all a wider range of view reguarding what an Alpha-Male is (or
female, gegogi... I defenetly agree there is such a thing and hope it's common :)).
ciao... :wave:
Mungojerry
12-19-2006, 08:26 AM
cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc
Marlboro_man
12-19-2006, 10:48 AM
malboro_man, I see your view & agree. Yet those were mostly the affects of him being an
Alpha, and not the qualities that make him one.
Think you can rephrase\elaborate? :o
Well I will list
some qualities that cause such but it's fair to say that these will change depending on location and culture. I
don't believe an alpha male here will instantly be an alpha somewhere else until he EARNS it.
Some qualities:
Honest: obviously needeed
Sincere: to earn the respect of others they must know you care.
Caring: Goes hand and hand with being sincere.
Unique: Someone who people feel they have to get to
know because they instantly can tell your different.
Independent: Not afraid to travel or do alone. It
amazes me how many people I know that won't got to dinner or a mall by themselves.
Individual: Combines
alot of previous stated things but I am using it to refer to style. You appear how you want to and if you believe
in it others will like it to.
Confident: If I need to explain this one to ya the rest is way too
complicated.
Leader: ahh a tricky one. A true alpha male will sit back and allow someone their moment of
glory and then take back over the leadership rule as soon as they are done. IMO 1 of the biggest failures of most
people trying to be Alpha.
Those are some of the qualities that I have seen in alpha males. My word to the wise,
IF you aren't already alpha or close to it then be prepared. You will often be challenged and how you handle it
will confirm or deny your status just like in a wolf pack. NO this does not need to involve a fist fight although
some others may try to take that path with you!
Gegogi
12-19-2006, 11:37 AM
Here's the Wikipedia
definition:
In social animals, the alpha male or alpha female is the individual in the community whom
the others follow and defer to. Where one male and one female fulfill this role, they are referred to as the alpha
pair.
In humans, the alpha male often refers to a man who is powerful or high on the social ladder, similar
to hegemonic masculinity. In Western cultures, the term is sometimes pejorative and describes a man who is overly
masculine and should be feared. The term Omega male (?-male) is an antonym often used in a deprecating or self
deprecating manner to refer to males at the bottom of the social hierarchy.
I think many of you are
listing desirable qualifications of a good man, e.g., moral character and other aspects of personality that make him
a great guy. However, an alpha male is simply a leader, a top dog, a fat cat, the all rich 'n powerful guy on the
hill. And he isn't necessarily a square guy of good morals, love, caring and fairless. Sadly, that all powerful fat
cat that rules over the multitude is more often a kick 'em dem balls, cut-throat, immoral supremely confident
narcissus son of a bitch.
I like the concept of the Omega male. I haven't heard that one before.
Marlboro_man
12-19-2006, 11:51 AM
Gegogi,
That is a wikpedia
definition which is also written by people such as ourselves, as a matter of fact I could go into it right now and
change it completely to what I wanted it to be. Either way the question was "what does it mean to you gals" (or
guys in this case, and that's what I have been answering. We all agree (or at least I think we do) that an alpha
male is a leader who has earned the right to be followed. The question is why do we as individuals follow them? I
know power and money don't influence my decisions but to each their own.
Gegogi
12-19-2006, 12:56 PM
The question is why do we
as individuals follow them? I know power and money don't influence my decisions but to each their
own.
That's 'cause you an alpha man!
As for the wikpedia definition, it's very similar to
the definition taught in college biology courses, so it isn't really out in left field.
I wish I could
ignore "power and money" but it ain't that easy. I ignore Pres Bush but his decisions still filter down into
little-man-land bite me in the ass. Although I'm stuck with the consequences of his decisons, I don't follow or
respect him. Nevertheless, he is the alpha-alpha male of the land, and I can't do jack squat about it.
Marlboro_man
12-19-2006, 02:52 PM
That's
'cause you an alpha man!
Thanks for the compliment, that's about as nice of a thing as you could say to
me!!!:cheers:
I wish I could ignore "power and money" but it ain't that easy. I ignore Pres Bush
but his decisions still filter down into little-man-land bite me in the ass. Although I'm stuck with the
consequences of his decisons, I don't follow or respect him. Nevertheless, he is the alpha-alpha male of the land,
and I can't do jack squat about it.
I look at those people like this. They affect my DAILY life
as much as the weather does and I have no control over it. Therefore I adjust as necessary and realize the only
things that I can control are my interactions with people and the situations that I put myself in.
koolking1
12-19-2006, 03:14 PM
"Nevertheless, he is the
alpha-alpha male of the land, and I can't do jack squat about it.".
I respectively disagree. I would say
that he's in the alpha-alpha male position of all-time but he's hardly alpha himself. With an approval rating of
27%, and that's likely a vast overstatement of the truth, his only followers are people who don't seem to live in
reality. I suspect his approval rating is closer to 10% of the population, if that. That's hardly a leader and
alpha males tend to be leaders. And, you can do something about it by making your opinion known to your elected
representatives but, as well all know, we did that this last election and it hasn't seemed too work well so far.
CptKipling
12-21-2006, 04:43 PM
It is a poem
called "if" by Rudyard Kipling. Its posted on thounsands of sites on the internet.
It is always a good one for
sending a tingle down ones spine!
Hey you could have given me at least a little time to bask in the
adoration! :)
Back on topic...I think that most ideas for an alpha male can be pretty much boiled down to
Mungo's definition.
Cullmanz Own
12-21-2006, 09:01 PM
Confidence. It all boils
down to confidence. If you can find a man that never get's nervous, never shows emotion, and has a handle on his
life and her life then you've found yourself an alpha.
They're very easy to spot. Take a look around a busy
place one day. Look for a man that walks upright with dignity and confidence, has a charasmatic soul about him, and
has slow calculated gestures you've found either a tired alcoholic/drug addict or you've found your alpha.
Beta males are the ones you need to watch out for.
d3kst3r
12-22-2006, 06:20 AM
Could you expand a bit on this
beta male thing?
CptKipling
12-22-2006, 06:41 PM
Beta males exist in a world of
scarcity and thus will compete over...pretty much everything, especially petty stuff. The alpha male just sits back
because he knows he owns everything.
Spiderweb
12-22-2006, 06:43 PM
i saw the header of this post
and just had to chime in...while its admirable to ask a woman her opinion, its not profitable to do so in the area
of attraction, CAUSE A WOMAN HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE WANTS OR WHAT AN ALPHA MAN IS...LOL.... women will say one thing
and do another...one minute they will like the guy with the muscles, next minute, its the bookworm, next minute, its
the rich guy, next minute, its fabio...seriously, women really have no clue as to what they want, so the only thing
is can agree with is be confident, be yourself and BE SURE that she wants to reciprocate your affections, cause they
are looking to YOU to decide what is best for them...LOL...yeah, i can hear all the ladies screaming out there, but
really, its all in WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF, they will follow your lead...they want your reality to overpower
theirs...if you are wearing that invisible sign on your chest that says "piss on me"..then you need to find a good
source of kleenix cause thats what will happen...the mones will give you a major advantage, but wont override your
self image, only enhance..how valuable you see yourself is how much she will value you.. of course, spraying some
edge around the room doesnt hurt :smite: i agree with Cpt Kipling...
Gegogi
12-22-2006, 06:55 PM
so the only thing is can
agree with is be confident, be yourself and BE SURE that she wants to reciprocate your affections, cause they are
looking to YOU to decide what is best for them...
Actually even confidence goes out the window with
some women. I've known several women--mostly nurses--that preferred whimpy nuttless shells of maniods. Why? They
got off totally on browbeating and bossing them around. I actually dated one for about a week before I decided I'd
rather date Mary Palms than her. Sheesh, her clit was almost as big as my dick. Alas, I know guys that married women
like that and totally lost their personally and self-respect: they walk, talk 'n dress as instructed. They carry
their wifes's purse in public, have a bumpersticker that says "I love my wife" and go shoe shopping together.
They're pussywhips deluxe. And it's more common than we like to admit.
d3kst3r
12-23-2006, 07:13 AM
That's actually a very
insightful post Gegogi. It seems that men who have been in a relationship where they swallowed their pride and
forsaken their masculinity due to their overly strong feelings for women, then have the women betray them will often
develop personalities that are the exact opposite. In this case, they become shameless womanisers in the future and
would rather sleep with and dispose of their women rather than allow themselves to fall in love again. Personally
I've experienced this case and I admit I've become quite a bastard lately. Also a good example of this is the new
movie Casino Royale and the line: "The bitch is dead" at the end.
The same is true for women. After getting burnt
by a man they often develop over feministic tendencies in their later personalities.
tenaciousBLADE
12-24-2006, 07:49 AM
I had not much time to reply this week, so this is (again) gonna be a long
one...:angel:
Originally posted by CptKipling:
Originally Posted by Mungojerry
It is a poem called "if" by Rudyard Kipling. Its posted on thounsands of sites on the internet.
It is always a good one for sending a tingle down ones spine!
Hey you could have given me at least a
little time to bask in the adoration! :)
Back on topic...I think that most ideas for an alpha male can be pretty
much boiled down to Mungo's definition. lol... So it ain't the Cptns work? :o
Well anyhow it's beautiful
:thumbsup:
And don't worry Cpt. you still have my respect lol ;)
Anyhow I agree... Mungojerry's defenition was
the greatest soup that could be boiled :)
Still... I really liked the details in this next post... Check it
out:
Originally posted by Malboro_man:
Well I will list some qualities that cause such but it's
fair to say that these will change depending on location and culture. I don't believe an alpha male here will
instantly be an alpha somewhere else until he EARNS it.
Some qualities:
Honest: obviously needeed
Sincere: to earn the respect of others they must know you care.
Caring: Goes hand and hand with being
sincere.
Unique: Someone who people feel they have to get to know because they instantly can tell your
different.
Independent: Not afraid to travel or do alone. It amazes me how many people I know that won't
got to dinner or a mall by themselves.
Individual: Combines alot of previous stated things but I am using
it to refer to style. You appear how you want to and if you believe in it others will like it to.
Confident: If I need to explain this one to ya the rest is way too complicated.
Leader: ahh a tricky
one. A true alpha male will sit back and allow someone their moment of glory and then take back over the leadership
rule as soon as they are done. IMO 1 of the biggest failures of most people trying to be Alpha.
Those are some of
the qualities that I have seen in alpha males. My word to the wise, IF you aren't already alpha or close to it then
be prepared. You will often be challenged and how you handle it will confirm or deny your status just like in a wolf
pack. NO this does not need to involve a fist fight although some others may try to take that path with you!
GREAT post!
One of the bests replys I ever got.
You state the actual qualities and even explain your
meaning to the detail. Beautiful.
Thanks! :D
Gegogi, what can I say? I disagree. I don't think the
wikipedia defenition is even close to the real thing :blink:
I'd say Malboro_man said it well, and I too would say
that
an alpha male is a leader who has earned the right to be followed
about
this...
Nevertheless, he is the alpha-alpha male of the land, and I can't do jack squat about it.
Pfh... NOT.
Originally posted by koolking1:
I respectively disagree. I would say that he's in the
alpha-alpha male position of all-time but he's hardly alpha himself. Exactly.
I mean... Gegogi,
I agree
about what you say regarding money & power... They can't be so easily discharged. They affect us all in this world.
But still that simply doesn't make them an Alpha male. If you put them in an island without their money... would
they still have the power (AND respect)?
See my point?
Many people with power, money, and even fame, got them
because they're Alpha. But many others get them because they're jerks that just got the chances to step upon good
gentle people (surely not alphas thought lol). If those people had a real Alpha on their side... he would protect
them, not step on`em.
Originally posted by Malboro_man:
I adjust as necessary and realize
the only things that I can control are my interactions with people and the situations that I put myself in.
I'm starting to agree with Gegogi on this here: You are indeed an Alpha my friend ;)
Now for you, Cullmanz
own...
Confidence. It all boils down to confidence. Well, most of it is indeed (among
other things) about confidence. You got that right.
However...
If you can find a man that never
get's nervous, Yes... That one's true.
never shows emotion, and has a
handle on his life and her life then you've found yourself an alpha. No, no, no, no NO!:frustrate
That one
right there is a big mistake yo`!:POKE:
Please don't take this personally, as I'm just trying to help
here...
But dude... That's SO wrong.
An Alpha, not only shows emotions, but he also knows when and
how to show them.
Yes, he has control over his emotions. I'll give you that much (and I'll actually assume
that's what you ment). But just so we have no misunderstandings here... It is important that a person knows
his emotions AND shows them.
He might not show ALL of his emotions, but if he shows NO emotions whatsoever - than
he had lost his will to live and\or comunicate - and therefor is not an Alpha.
Please get this down, my
friend. It's a mistake you don't wanna make. It costs dearly in the long run.
Again, I'm not assuming the
"know-all" role; I'm just trying to help :)
Originally posted by CptKipling:
Beta males exist in
a world of scarcity and thus will compete over...pretty much everything, especially petty stuff. The alpha male just
sits back because he knows he owns everything. Wow, very nice defenition. Short and (so much) to the point
:D
Made me think. This is one to remember :thumbsup:
I realize it should be obvious, yet it's really usefull to
put it in words sometimes.
Originally posted by Spiderweb:
CAUSE A WOMAN HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE
WANTS OR WHAT AN ALPHA MAN IS...LOL.... LOL... Yeah, I wasn't really going to take the women's reactions
as they are. I ment to analize them a bit using NLP, and see if I can come up with something. What I was aiming for
wasn't so much an answer to the question, but more of a structure. I wanted to see how much do women THINK they
know what they want (granted, men too don't always know what they want). And how confident they are in their
defenition... i.e. If they give a timeless defenition or if they say that it depends on such & such.
However, it
turned out to be a really interesting discussion & I decided to gladfully go along with it
:lol:
Originally posted by Spiderweb:
be confident, be yourself and BE SURE that she wants to
reciprocate your affections, cause they are looking to YOU to decide what is best for them...LOL...yeah, i can hear
all the ladies screaming out there, but really, its all in WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF, they will follow your
lead... I defenetly agree. Not only that, but I myself would look into what a woman thinks about herself, to
decide if she's for me (especially if we're talking about a long-term relationship).
I don't know if they always
want us to take the lead (nor would I always want her to take the lead); but I'm pretty sure they want that
possibility. We all wanna rest from life from time to time (i.e. let someone else lead for a while).
they
want your reality to overpower theirs... Hell Yeah!
well... in a way. I mean, yes, they want your reality
to overpower theirs, as much as they want theirs to overpower yours (and it's about the same from my point of
view). What they want is actually for your realities to blend perfectly. I'm saying this from observation & from
what I myself would want :LOL:
Anyhow, Spiderweb, I'm happy to see you're posting replys in my thread :D
I've
been waiting for this moment.
I've read a lot of your posts & got a very good impression from ya`
:wave:
Gegogi, back to you...
Actually even confidence goes out the window with some women.
I've known several women--mostly nurses--that preferred whimpy nuttless shells of maniods. Why? They got off
totally on browbeating and bossing them around. I actually dated one for about a week before I decided I'd rather
date Mary Palms than her. Sheesh, her clit was almost as big as my dick. Alas, I know guys that married women like
that and totally lost their personally and self-respect: they walk, talk 'n dress as instructed. They carry their
wifes's purse in public, have a bumpersticker that says "I love my wife" and go shoe shopping together. They're
pussywhips deluxe. And it's more common than we like to admit. Yes, I've dated one such for two months.
G*d Damn it, that's a bitch! (in the baddest way possible). The only thing that kept me a man in that relationship
was everything related to sex. She totally bent down in bed. She even brought me another woman to sleep with
:twisted:(one she've already slept with before & knew she likes her p*ssy). But in reallity, I got to the
conclusion those women aren't worth it even if they're the bomb in bed. Too much emotional demage. Seriously...
You don't wanna attract these ones. I'm sure you agree. So better stay on the confidence, so as to not attract
them at all :hammer:
So about that, I second what d3kst3r said :goodpost:
I hope it's ok with everyone that
I've replyed to each and every post this time :o
And keep posting. This has become trully interesting :D
Cullmanz Own
12-24-2006, 12:05 PM
Amen to all that. Back to
this beta male thing. I once saw myself as a beta but now that I've learned that whatever I want, I can get through
hard work and confidence, my need to impress others has died.
Now, I do what I want, and watch others bitch
about it.
tounge
12-24-2006, 01:57 PM
I've learned
that whatever I want, I can get through hard work and confidence, my need to impress others has
died
I've preached this for years around here. Hard work generally leads to success. Being
successful leads to GENUINE confidence. This is the real secret to attracting quality women. Too many people are
afraid of hard work and want instant success by using a pill, an E-book or a pheromone mix. Try the hard work method
and stop worrying about the Alpha-Beta silliness.
And some of you young guys could really learn from old
timer posts like Gegogi's. Yes, they can be somewhat vulgar, but get past that and digest the meat of the wisdom.
bronzie
12-24-2006, 03:53 PM
tongue, how old are you? just
curious...
by the way, merry xmas everyone, or merry holidays for the non-christians
tenaciousBLADE
12-24-2006, 03:58 PM
Originally
Posted by Cullmanz Own
I've learned that whatever I want, I can get
through hard work and confidence, my need to impress others has died
Good on ya` lad. Great words
:D
Mungojerry
12-24-2006, 05:13 PM
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tenaciousBLADE
12-25-2006, 05:17 PM
:goodpost::goodpost::goodpost:
Only I would change
2)Don't negatively self talkto
2) Positively
self talk.
otherwise, you're using negative words to try & promote positive thinking hehe
still...
:goodpost:
Cullmanz Own
12-25-2006, 09:37 PM
TBlade. You stated what I
ment to comment on. I correct myself in saying that an alpha never shows emotion. What I ment to say was alpha males
never show emotions that most insecure men show such as emotional hurt.When I first began to 'change' myself, I
came to a great conclusion. We humans are tied to almost every aspect of our lives in some form of emotion. Most
NORMAL people (when experiencing a tragic downfall, ex. failing a test) will try to change the outcome of this
situation for the next time. When I fail a test, I study harder for the next one. This emotion of failure pushed me
to change myself. I let it all out all so that the next time a situation arose, I would be able to take control and
overcome this "obsticale".All together, in order for someone to become good at something, they must first fail at
it. SEVERAL times. Common sense right? Some people just don't seem to recognize how easy it is to change
yourself.
tenaciousBLADE
12-26-2006, 05:46 AM
Very good correction.
Well said my friend... The failure should be our friend (and become the change), not our enemy, which we dwell on.
This change of view is something I had to walk through myself...
Mungojerry
12-26-2006, 05:55 AM
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Marlboro_man
12-26-2006, 08:57 PM
Hey guys I love this
conversation and we must keep it going as there is a ton of great information being exchanged here. To those of you
who said I am an alpha, THANK YOU, but I also must say that re-reading this thread again I realized that there are
several Alpha's in this thread. Take time to re-read and watch how Alpha male's interact. it's really quite
amazing when you look at the dialogue. Contrary to steroetypical beliefs, it's not the need to argue that makes
you an alpha, rather it's the ability to be listened to while listening to others!!! It would be great if all of
us could get together and interact one time in public for the great alpha expierience and I believe we all would
learn immensely from one another. :cheers:
Marlboro_man
12-26-2006, 09:02 PM
Something I was thinking
about the other day that fits well into this conversation: It's very rare that someone is naturally an alpha.
Normally we go through stages until it just happens and we (if your like me) don't exactly know when it happened
but all of a sudden you look back and say to your self " Wow, I really am a great person and people love me"
I
have a test for everyone to try. Please take it seriously as it will only take a couple of seconds. DON'T read
ahead to the next post until you do this.
Ready,
I simply want you to yell at the top of your lungs
"I Love Myself!"
Marlboro_man
12-26-2006, 09:13 PM
What was your
reaction???
Ok,
Now that you have taken the test I want to share my interpration of the results.
I figure
there are several normal outcomes.
1) you didn't do it because you were too lazy or couldn't yell. Please stop
reading now and try again later.
2) You didn't do it because you think this is stupid= Your choice but you
probably don't want to be better.
3) You did it but either wouldn't shout it or started laughing= Your don't
love yourself enough but keep trying (at least you had the nerve to try).
4) You did it and a very small smile came
across your face= Your on the right track but need more work. Keep on trying
5)Your had a big smile, started
nodding and probably got a fuzzy warm feeling deep inside= You are da man and very confident (chances are you knew
this test before you ever took it)
This is something I used to do to myself everyone once in a while (and still
do) and this really gauges what you feel about yourself on a new level. It's my confidence test and it's the
stages that I went through and it wasn't until I reached that last one until I knew what I was trying to
accomplish.
This is my confidence test (very applicable to this post) and I hope you enjoyed it.
tenaciousBLADE
12-27-2006, 05:35 AM
it's not the
need to argue that makes you an alpha, rather it's the ability to be listened to while listening to
others!!!
I second that one.
Cullmanz Own
12-27-2006, 08:09 PM
I have a great example of
someone insecure. I work in a grocery store as a stockman. We have an employee of Coca-Cola who comes an puts out
coke's stock.
Today I was using a crowbar at work when this particular fella decided he wanted to goof off a
bit. So I joked with him and he laughed. Then I jokingly threatened him with the crow bar.
This man, being in
his late 20s married with kids took me seriously, grabbed me (a 17 year old teenager) by the neck and told me
"Little pricks like you shouldn't be threating someone like me."
I pushed him off of me, and walked away
laughing. He later came back and told me that he was sorry and has a tendency to react to threats.
I have
respect for him for confronting me and appoligizing, but the need to fight seems a bit insecure. I myself have never
been in a fight and don't plan on it. I have no need to fight. Talking works much better.
Marlboro_man
12-27-2006, 08:18 PM
I
second that one.
Hey blade, Did you do the test? Did you know it? What were your results?
Gegogi
01-01-2007, 10:39 PM
He later came back and
told me that he was sorry and has a tendency to react to threats.
Maybe he worked in law enforcement?
They tend to take any threat--even those obviously a joke or "what if"--as a life and death situation. One thing
I've learned in life, it's a bad idea to joke about inflicting serious damage with a crowbar or any other lethal
weapon. Those outside your peers--foreigners, older folks, women. etc--may not know you're joking and act
accordingly.
Mungojerry
01-02-2007, 06:59 AM
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
idesign
07-02-2007, 07:07 PM
This is a fantastic
thread, with so many good comments. Thanks tBlade for cranking it up, and your comments along the way have been
very astute.
However, I've not seen the word humility written in this whole thread. Of course the opposite is
arrogance.
There are alphas in both camps.
An alpha is an alpha, by whatever definition. How that person
handles the position of leadership is really a more important question I think.
Humility is not weakness, it is
strength, and it allows for strength in others, and encourages it. An alpha does not fear the strength of others,
he has the confidence and ability to allow others to succeed under his leadership, and to recognize and assimilate
their strengths.
An arrogant alpha thinks only of himself, in business, in family, in life. Untempered by
humility he may abandon his family, stifle his best employees and die with no friends.
Personally I think alphas
are born and not created, the old "nature vs nurture" question. Either way, I know that a man can be raised to
respect and appreciate the lives around him, then again, an alpha boy is probably a handful!!
Thanks again Blade
for starting what's turned out to be a great thread. Too bad the women never got involved.
Greg
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