Monello
10-10-2006, 04:08 PM
Forgive me for "cut and pasting" this, but I accidently put it in another thread first and
meant to do it as a new thread...
I would like to add my two, or ten cents, worth. First, I have been on both
sides of the equation (no, not the sexual side, the success/failure side). There was a period of time when I
could do no wrong with women. Making love constantly (I never f..k, I put as much into sex with a one-timer as I
do with those I have relationships with) and effortlessly. Always was funny and the center of attention.
Then, almost overnight, I "forgot" how to be personable. Literally. I do not know how to this day. Suddenly, it
was as if I could not "remember my lines." Once my confidence began to go things, spiraled to destitution rapidly!
The damnest thing. Eventually I got back my "mojo" (ha ha:cool:), though it was never exactly the same. But here is
where it is especially ironic.
During that couple year drought, where I really struggled, an eye-opening event
occurred. This was back in the early 90's when a Saturday Night Live routine called Hans and Franz was around. For
Halloween, my friend and I went as Hans and Franz with the same foam rubber muscles and grey sweats and weight belt.
Really looked the same. I was completely "in character" down to the German accent and the obnoxious Uber-Alpha
confidence. I would walk and swagger through this packed club whilst loudly proclaiming to one and all to "scuse
please...make way for my large muscles", ad nauseum.
Now here is the funny part. Not only was the
costume/character a hit at this large Southern Florida club, but I got hit on openly and directly all night long!
The women HAD to know the muscles were fake and HAD to know the personality was fake, yet they ate it up like sugar!
With that one main exception, I was an utter failure for months at a time during that period. However, it drove home
a point that no matter how you look (I have always been blessed with a good six pack equipped athletic type body,
am 6'1" tall and have usually been called attractive: though do not claim to be a Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp
level) there was much more to it than that.
Eventually I recaptured my "ability" by working on my
personality and getting back to who I used to be. (Further,I am not talking about the "grubber" women that go
after anyone with a pulse because they have money/Ferrari/Cigarette boat, etc. They are a differnet issue) I am
referring to genuine sexual attraction for it's own sake, perhaps or perhaps not, leading to a friendship or other
relationship. Further, it cannot just be a certain smell for, as we have all seen on this forum, individuals who
have claimed to get hits, but then lose them after a short period.
If one is considered disgusting by societal
standards, then unless you are funny as hell or rich, you are probably SOL. Appearance, which is linked solidly to
good genes and survivability, is as basal of an instinct as there is (why do animals do all their courting
routines with the stronger or better winning far more often than not?). Now granted, one does not have to look
like a sex symbol, but one had better look and act healthy and fit and desireable, at some level, or you are going
to get the second rate women (or men).
Johnny Depp or Viggo Mortenson were hugely sexy to women (and
more men than care to admit it) in their respective characters of Jack Sparrow the pirate and Aragorn/Strider,
despite their unkempt appearance. Now 90% of men who look like those characters (unkempt and dirty) in the
real world would be rejected by all but the most "biker" type of skank. And there were no pheromones on screen. But
there were incredibly good looks underneath and a strong Alpha personality.
Women are incredibly fantasy
oriented and if one can appeal to a fantasy part of their mind then they may very well succeed with them sexually.
My point in this rambling diatribe is that there surely must be a synergy between appearance, pheromones and
personality. With all respect JVK it cannot be only pheromones, though they must play a huge part. Otherwise every
"shrek-looking" guy wearing pheromones would be knocking down Jessica Simpson types.
There is a point to be
made here. One absolutely cannot under-estimate the power of personality, where even an obviously fake (and all
too frequent obnoxious) Alpha-type will get hit after hit, while the "wall flower"-type, no matter how
good-looking, is going to come up short time and again. That said, regardless of how one looks, one damned well
better try and dress well and with style, have something to talk about of interest to most people and remember that
even being a little fake and bombastic is better than sincere, quiet and invisible. At least if you are trying to
attract women initally!
Once they get to know you, then maybe OK, but if they never "see" you in the first
place, then it does not matter how rich, smart or funny you are. Do not misunderstand, I strongly believe the
pheromones are important to set you apart. To catch attention and maybe to help close the deal. But it is not a holy
grail my friends.
meant to do it as a new thread...
I would like to add my two, or ten cents, worth. First, I have been on both
sides of the equation (no, not the sexual side, the success/failure side). There was a period of time when I
could do no wrong with women. Making love constantly (I never f..k, I put as much into sex with a one-timer as I
do with those I have relationships with) and effortlessly. Always was funny and the center of attention.
Then, almost overnight, I "forgot" how to be personable. Literally. I do not know how to this day. Suddenly, it
was as if I could not "remember my lines." Once my confidence began to go things, spiraled to destitution rapidly!
The damnest thing. Eventually I got back my "mojo" (ha ha:cool:), though it was never exactly the same. But here is
where it is especially ironic.
During that couple year drought, where I really struggled, an eye-opening event
occurred. This was back in the early 90's when a Saturday Night Live routine called Hans and Franz was around. For
Halloween, my friend and I went as Hans and Franz with the same foam rubber muscles and grey sweats and weight belt.
Really looked the same. I was completely "in character" down to the German accent and the obnoxious Uber-Alpha
confidence. I would walk and swagger through this packed club whilst loudly proclaiming to one and all to "scuse
please...make way for my large muscles", ad nauseum.
Now here is the funny part. Not only was the
costume/character a hit at this large Southern Florida club, but I got hit on openly and directly all night long!
The women HAD to know the muscles were fake and HAD to know the personality was fake, yet they ate it up like sugar!
With that one main exception, I was an utter failure for months at a time during that period. However, it drove home
a point that no matter how you look (I have always been blessed with a good six pack equipped athletic type body,
am 6'1" tall and have usually been called attractive: though do not claim to be a Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp
level) there was much more to it than that.
Eventually I recaptured my "ability" by working on my
personality and getting back to who I used to be. (Further,I am not talking about the "grubber" women that go
after anyone with a pulse because they have money/Ferrari/Cigarette boat, etc. They are a differnet issue) I am
referring to genuine sexual attraction for it's own sake, perhaps or perhaps not, leading to a friendship or other
relationship. Further, it cannot just be a certain smell for, as we have all seen on this forum, individuals who
have claimed to get hits, but then lose them after a short period.
If one is considered disgusting by societal
standards, then unless you are funny as hell or rich, you are probably SOL. Appearance, which is linked solidly to
good genes and survivability, is as basal of an instinct as there is (why do animals do all their courting
routines with the stronger or better winning far more often than not?). Now granted, one does not have to look
like a sex symbol, but one had better look and act healthy and fit and desireable, at some level, or you are going
to get the second rate women (or men).
Johnny Depp or Viggo Mortenson were hugely sexy to women (and
more men than care to admit it) in their respective characters of Jack Sparrow the pirate and Aragorn/Strider,
despite their unkempt appearance. Now 90% of men who look like those characters (unkempt and dirty) in the
real world would be rejected by all but the most "biker" type of skank. And there were no pheromones on screen. But
there were incredibly good looks underneath and a strong Alpha personality.
Women are incredibly fantasy
oriented and if one can appeal to a fantasy part of their mind then they may very well succeed with them sexually.
My point in this rambling diatribe is that there surely must be a synergy between appearance, pheromones and
personality. With all respect JVK it cannot be only pheromones, though they must play a huge part. Otherwise every
"shrek-looking" guy wearing pheromones would be knocking down Jessica Simpson types.
There is a point to be
made here. One absolutely cannot under-estimate the power of personality, where even an obviously fake (and all
too frequent obnoxious) Alpha-type will get hit after hit, while the "wall flower"-type, no matter how
good-looking, is going to come up short time and again. That said, regardless of how one looks, one damned well
better try and dress well and with style, have something to talk about of interest to most people and remember that
even being a little fake and bombastic is better than sincere, quiet and invisible. At least if you are trying to
attract women initally!
Once they get to know you, then maybe OK, but if they never "see" you in the first
place, then it does not matter how rich, smart or funny you are. Do not misunderstand, I strongly believe the
pheromones are important to set you apart. To catch attention and maybe to help close the deal. But it is not a holy
grail my friends.