View Full Version : Having trouble meeting people at college (especially females)
manchorito
08-31-2006, 10:14 AM
It's only been about a week and a half, but i already feel out of place. i
never had a problem with meeting new people, but for some reason, the second i came to college i just seem to have
lost all my communication skills. i was always easy to talk to in high school, had a lot of friends. but now, rather
it be meeting new friends or trying to meet some girls, i just don't know what to do.
also, i have 8:00
class friday morning, so i can't really party thursday night like everybody else.
i don't know, i'm just
unsure as to rather or not i would like to stay here. i know it's my future, but at this pace, i'd be failing my
classes with this kind of mindset, anyways. i can't really see myself find a core group of friends like i had in
high school, either.
i was just wondering if there are any pheromones that could help me with this kind of
problem. obviously it won't solve my problem, but i'm sure it can't hurt.
also, any kind of advice would
be really great for a long time board member. thanks,
-sam
Mtnjim
08-31-2006, 10:50 AM
It's only been
about a week and a half, but i already feel out of place. i never had a problem with meeting new people, but for
some reason, the second i came to college i just seem to have lost all my communication skills. i was always easy to
talk to in high school, had a lot of friends. but now, rather it be meeting new friends or trying to meet some
girls, i just don't know what to do.
Quite normal!!
In high school your "core of friends" probably
began grouping around you in elementary school, but you don't remember how long it took to make them. You're in a
new environment, so it'll take a while here too. Don't worry about it friends will come soon
enough.:thumbsup:
Oh by the way, you're going to gain 15 pounds too; "the Freshman Fifteen"!:cheers:
terry0400-40
08-31-2006, 11:08 AM
Your a complete man with a clear objective, dont feel out of place,all of those at the late
night partys still have their issues to deal with as we all have, stick with your plans as they are your best
option, most new people will feel out of place who are in your position so dont feel isolated and think you are the
only one, have patience and do your thing , and be your own man as you are wise in not partying with classes next
day, there is always a time and place and you will have your share of fun and also stay with your agenda and you
will meet some friends who will be compatable with you, the main thing is dont worry, dont be in a hurry, just enjoy
being the dynamic and unique person that you really are, and do it in your way and at your own pace to fit in with
your own plans, just relax and picture yourself amoungst nice people and the world will be at your feet, Have
patience and BELIEVE. As far as pheromones are concerned and if you have an interest and a bit of spare time for
experementation then why not try some Liquid Trust ( LT ) or perhaps some Scent of Eros ( SOE ) have a look
around and take your time Your the Man.
Holmes
08-31-2006, 11:30 AM
Use SoE and be as open and
friendly as you can. Get involved in a lot of activities, clubs, etc. You've only been there a week-and-a-half.
Now is the time to start putting yourself out there.
The wonderful thing about college is that it's
nothing like High School. :D
Gegogi
08-31-2006, 11:50 AM
The main reason to attend college
is to get an education. It is not by nature a social gathering. So put your nose to the grindstone and study your
ass off. You'll start to forget your woes. Study is your purpose and main job. It will pay off big time in the
future. No desirable woman of substance will be interested in a man without a bright future, and that bright future
usually requires a college education.
With that said, it sounds like you grew up in a small town and are used
to the support structure of friends and family. You're new on a big campus and have no social standing. I attended
UW--a campus with 50,000 students--and recall feeling lost for the first few months. I'm sure if you take some of
the above advice you'll be in like flint by semester's end: move in the dorms, join a frat, enroll in a club, etc.
I made lots of friends by taking "social fun" classes like acting workshop, dance and tennis. I immediately
recognized most folks were taking those classes for the same reasons as me. I also met lots of women in study groups
for my classes.
I felt the anonymous nature of a large campus was conducive to serious study. If I had all
the friends I had in HS I'd never made it through grad school. A big campus has less distractions than living at
home and attending a local community college.
I concurr with using SOE and getting out
there.
Incidentally, most folks I knew that were into partying flunked out pretty quickly.
koolking1
08-31-2006, 01:48 PM
I remeber you from
way back!!! By and large, there's nothing but great advice on this board from people who've been there before, no
matter the topic. Good Luck in your studies and get a bunch of A's right off the bat in the first semester,
you'll feel great about everything then.
i never had a
problem with meeting new people, but for some reason, the second i came to college i just seem to have lost all my
communication skills.
-sam
I'd go put on few sprays of Anol.
Hopefully once people start to feel
you are ok, or even fun, to be around, you can excercise / restore your own magic with the new crowd.
slickracer
09-01-2006, 10:43 AM
shoot if i were you i put on
decent amount of AE and go hang out with some black guys. cause i always get mad respect hits from black guys when
wearing AE.
and they are always very domanate in nature, so they always seem to be attracting girls.
maxo-texas
09-01-2006, 12:06 PM
Join a social club or frat
that appeals to your nature.
I hate frats but I respect they are instant friends (and a lot of long term
instant friends too).
Don't join a social club of something you dislike- you'll just get attracted to people
you don't like in the long term.
I'm feeling the same
thing, Manchorito, except I just returned to college at the ripe old age of 39! So it's twice as awkward because I
stick out like a sore thumb. There are some other adults there but it seems like most of the other students are
half my age! I would definitely try the Liquid Trust. Plus, spend some time observing the people in your classes,
pick a few people you think you'd like and just jump in and talk to them. I had to force myself to do that, still
do, but I'm getting to know some people and when I'm relaxed around them I can tell they respond really well to
that. I'm really shy so it was hard to just start talking to people but it felt even more awkward to sit in a
class full of people and never talk to anyone! And, yes, definitely keep your nose in the books-ITS IMPORTANT!!!!!!
(speaking from experience here :lovestruc)
Holmes
09-01-2006, 02:43 PM
I'm feeling the same
thing, Manchorito, except I just returned to college at the ripe old age of 39! So it's twice as awkward because I
stick out like a sore thumb. There are some other adults there but it seems like most of the other students are
half my age! I would definitely try the Liquid Trust. Plus, spend some time observing the people in your classes,
pick a few people you think you'd like and just jump in and talk to them. I had to force myself to do that, still
do, but I'm getting to know some people and when I'm relaxed around them I can tell they respond really well to
that. I'm really shy so it was hard to just start talking to people but it felt even more awkward to sit in a
class full of people and never talk to anyone! And, yes, definitely keep your nose in the books-ITS IMPORTANT!!!!!!
(speaking from experience here :lovestruc)
I'm glad you posted this, as I might soon be in a similar
position (if fortune breaks its poker face). And while I'm not quite 39, I ain't exactly 22, either. Has it proven
as difficult as it would seem to relate to/blend in with the kids?
Btw - I agree with keeping focused on your
studies - and that an acting workshop or dance class is never a bad idea.
Gegogi
09-01-2006, 05:56 PM
Of course every campus is
different. An older student may feel out of place at an ivy leauge or heavily greek college. However, many community
colleges have a nice mix of younger and older students, mainly due to older adults returning to college after
getting laid off (e.g., Boeing sprung for 2 years of job training for many laid-off employees in N. Seattle). Also,
night classes tend to be filled with "adult" students. I used to teach night class at a community college and it was
rare to have a student younger than 30. The cool thing about older students is they usually know what they want and
are highly motivated. Day classes were like romper room...
belgareth
09-01-2006, 06:20 PM
Day classes were
like romper room...
:lol: Isn't that the truth. I started college after my stint in the army. The kids
around me were only a few years younger than me but seemed so young and immature. I did well with the women then
because at that age women are more mature than the males of the same age. It made things really easy. Show some self
confidence and maturity and you'll have it made.
Of course every
campus is different. An older student may feel out of place at an ivy leauge or heavily greek college. However, many
community colleges have a nice mix of younger and older students, mainly due to older adults returning to college
after getting laid off (e.g., Boeing sprung for 2 years of job training for many laid-off employees in N. Seattle).
Also, night classes tend to be filled with "adult" students. I used to teach night class at a community college and
it was rare to have a student younger than 30. The cool thing about older students is they usually know what they
want and are highly motivated. Day classes were like romper room...
That's what happened to me. I got
laid off in June and went back to school in July. I am loving every minute of it, too! I'm so grateful to have the
opportunity to change the direction of my life. The day classes do have a lot of kids in them but I had to take a
night class next term so I'm interested to see the mix of people and ages. Yeah, us old geezers are highly
motivated because we have enough work experience to know what we want to do.
MOBLEYC57
09-02-2006, 06:09 AM
It's only
been about a week and a half, but i already feel out of place. i never had a problem with meeting new people, but
for some reason, the second i came to college i just seem to have lost all my communication skills. i was always
easy to talk to in high school, had a lot of friends. but now, rather it be meeting new friends or trying to meet
some girls, i just don't know what to do.
also, i have 8:00 class friday morning, so i can't really party
thursday night like everybody else.
i don't know, i'm just unsure as to rather or not i would like to stay
here. i know it's my future, but at this pace, i'd be failing my classes with this kind of mindset, anyways. i
can't really see myself find a core group of friends like i had in high school, either.
i was just wondering
if there are any pheromones that could help me with this kind of problem. obviously it won't solve my problem, but
i'm sure it can't hurt.
also, any kind of advice would be really great for a long time board member. thanks,
-sam
Hey, aren't you the 6'8" and 280 pound fella that constantly refer to women/ladies as the B
word? :blink: If I remember correctly, and it tis you ... you probably intimidate the hell out of people. WAGG, SOE,
and LT should become your closest friends!:run:
Sigma
09-03-2006, 03:47 PM
My campus has 35,000 students in
it. If yours is anything like mine, then people tend to go about their business and pay no mind to the people
around them...its a very big disctinction from high school, where everyone seems concerned with their peers, and
theres an intertwined group of social circles. In high shcool everyone knows each other one way or another. In
college, you may run into someone, and never see them again.
Contrary to what most people believe, highly
populated college campuses are not the best place to meet women. College is a great time to meet women, but
randomly approaching women on campus will be a bust 99% of the time (I know from experience).
Your best bet is to
get involved in some sort of campus activity or group. These groups are geared more towards socializing with your
peers on some common end. At least then you'll have a area of common interest with the people around you, and hey,
you have a reason to be talking to them now. I've met quite a few women through these groups, particularly in this
one marketing organization I joined simply because a lot of women go into marketing in my school lol.
Another
cool thing about joining these groups is that you start to establish a long web of networks in which you're bound
to meet quality women in. Meet people, get to know them, and don't be shy about going out with their friends and
what not.
I felt the same way you did when I first started college, but now I found that I've got a good network
of friends whom I run into regularly on campus, and am meeting people all the time. I've found people to study
with, and I've found people to party with. In fact once school runs around, I hardly see my friends who aren't in
college.
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