shy men

[GrIp MeNtOr]

will the pheromones help a

shy person. you no get hits or does the pheromones make the man more confident in himself.:thumbsup:

[belgareth]

Shy is a handicap but only if

you allow it to be. As so many of the senoir members will tell you, pheomones are an aid and nothing more. You still

have to get out there and try. You have to approach women and talk to them, otherwise you may as well not bother

with mones.

My advice to you is to start at the begining with you. Start doing things to help reduce your

shyness, like approaching and talking to people on your own. There are a lot of good books out there that can help

you. but don't bother with mones until you've had a chance to put the rest of the package together. Then mones can

be a huge help.

[jkstern]

I think definitely pheromones

can work as a confidence booster for the wearer. Say your confidence is a little low and you put on pheros and start

getting hits, that will certainly inprove your confidence which in return will help you get more and more results as

confidence improves. Hell I think even the placebo effect of putting something on that will huh "make you irrestible

to women" can instantly raise your confidence.

[slick]

Hi i would advice you to work on

your inner game first. In the beginnin, i used to were pheros and although i got the flirting and smiles etc i

still could not approach. I have around $400 worth of pheromones in my house at the moment but i am not using them

as i want to work on my personality and charm first. After that i will be using them to increase my magnetism



Read this free article i found on the net and practice what he says, after a month you will be much more confident

and then you can start applying the mones

Ps, i hope im aloud to post this hear



How I FINALLY Eliminated Shyness & Nervousness &
Gained Super

Confidence


Here's my story and what worked for me.




Hi - My name is David Portney and for a large part of my life I was

stricken with terrible shyness and nervousness - if you've got a minute, read my story because it will probably

help you.

If you're suffering from shyness and nervousness then you and I are kindred

spirits because I know the pain you feel, and I know its holding you back from getting the most out of your

life.

Just like people who get cancer and survive will often help other cancer victims, I also want to

help people who suffer from shyness and nervousness, just like I used to.
And if someone as shy as I was can

become super confident, then ANYONE can - so there's hope fo you too - here's my story:

I grew

up EXTREMELY shy: in school I always sat in the back of the class so no

one would notice me, I was so insecure I even wore jackets in the summertime, and I avoided ALL

social situations.

And boy, when it came to the opposite sex, I was as

scared as a mouse at a rattlesnake convention.
Can you relate to ANY of that?
First I tried

therapy. It seemed like the logical choice.
I got some benefit from going to therapy - I

understood my problem really well - but therapy didn't SOLVE my problem.

Then I went to

see a shrink who prescribed an anti-depressant but the side effects were worse than being shy, so I stopped taking

them after a while.

Then I tried to "fake it till I make it" - I'd go into social situations and

pretend to be confident, but I knew inside I was just faking and I still felt shy and nervous.
Frustrated, I

turned to self help books and tapes, & I even went to seminars (I sat in the back). Most were not very helpful, and

a few were excellent.

Self help is what finally worked for me, and it worked so well that people who know me

today just laugh in disbelief when I tell them I grew up painfully shy.

It's great to finally be free of that

crippling shyness and nervousness that held me back for most of my life.
Here's what helped me:
First, I had to

accept that I was MAKING MYSELF shy and nervous. NOT to blame myself, but to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for the situation I

was in.

The first thing you should do is realize that YOU ARE IN A POSITION OF POWER AND CONTROL when you take

responsibility for being shy and nervous. THAT PUTS YOU IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT.
You need to realize that even if

you're not aware of it, you're DOING SOMETHING inside your head to make shyness and nervousness happen. I know

that might not seem true - I was shy since nursery school and thought that THAT WAS JUST WHO I WAS.

I finally

realized that shyness and nervousness is NOT who I am, IT'S SOMETHING I DO. You are NOT shy, you DO shyness... A

very important distinction to make.
You DO shyness and nervousness by running movies in your head and talking to

yourself - it's those movies and talking that "makes" you feel shy and nervous.

The critical shift you need to

make is knowing that your shyness and nervousness is NOT who you are, and it's NOT out of your control. YOU ARE IN

CONTROL.
But those movies and voices in your head have been playing for so long, you probably don't even notice

them, you just know you feel shy and nervous.

In other words, SHYNESS HAS BECOME A BAD HABIT.
And because

shyness and nervousness is in reality a bad habit, it needs to be TREATED like a bad habit.
But, everyone knows

how hard it can be to break a bad habit - just ask anyone who's ever tried to stop smoking.

Breaking a bad

habit requires 2 things: You MUST use a proven strategy to break the habit and you MUST have a positive replacement

habit.
If you don't use a proven strategy then you're just stumbling around trying "whatever" and hoping it'll

work, and it doesn't, so you give up.
And not having a new habit to replace the old habit pretty much guarantees

failure because you'll slide back to your old, familiar ways of shyness and nervousness.



The simple

way to take ALL the effort out of breaking the shyness habit is: PUT MOMENTUM TO WORK SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK. To

get momentum to work for you, all you have to do is start small.
Using momentum makes breaking a bad habit easy

because you "go with the flow" - you don't have to struggle or fight to get where you're going.
Where most people

go wrong is they try to do too much too soon - what if you went to the gym for the very first time and you went over

to the heaviest weight and tried to lift it over your head... That would be foolish - and dangerous.

Instead,

what if you lift the lightest weight... Then the next day a slightly heavier weight... And the next day a slightly

heavier weight... After 3 or 4 weeks, you'd be lifting heavy weights you never thought possible.
Incremental

success is EXACTLY how you learned to read, write, tie your shoes, and drive a car.

Now you can read, write, tie

your shoes and drive a car effortlessly and automatically, but when you first started it seemed hard, right?
So you

just have to start small and then do a little more and a little more each day for about 3 weeks and at that point it

becomes automatic - momentum takes over and does all the work for you.

You need to start small and continue

adding a little more each day for 3 weeks because it takes about 3 weeks to break a habit and "install" a new

replacement habit, it just does.
But the most important thing of all is

this: The #1 ingredient that guarantees your success is a burning desire to change. There is nothing on this Earth more powerful than pure desire.

You've got to WANT TO CHANGE and

you've got to want it really really really badly. Because if you want it bad enough, nothing can stop you.
I was

ABSOLUTELY DESPERATE to get rid of my shyness and nervousness because it was ruining my life.
I was scared to

death of meeting new people. I was scared to death of approaching women I wanted to meet. I was turning down social

invitations and cowering at home. I was afraid to do all kinds of things because of shyness and nervousness.



Now, I speak in public for a living, something I thought I would NEVER, EVER be able to do. As I said before, if

someone who was as shy as I was can become confident, then ANYONE else can too.

So, thanks for listening - er,

reading - my story, I sincerely hope that this will help you because suffering from shyness and nervousness just

sucks.

Let me give you the summary of how you can get over shyness, and what you should do, step by step and I

even wrote a booklet about it that you can have for free.
First, realize that understanding your problem will NOT

solve your problem.
Next, accept responsibility (NOT blame) for your situation and realize you are in the

driver's seat - that puts you in a position of power and control.
Then recongize that you are NOT a shy nervous

person, shyness and nervousness are processes that you actively DO in your head that creates those feelings.



Next, understand that you've been playing movies and/or talking to yourself for years to create the shyness and

nervousness, and after all these years it's turned into a bad habit that needs to be broken.
And, know that all

you need to do to break that bad habit is to use a proven strategy, and that you must decide on a new, positive

replacement habit (I recommend your new habit be ferocious super confidence).

Also, you MUST start small and

build momentum each day for 3 weeks in order to break that shyness habit - just one small win followed by a slightly

bigger win followed by another slightly bigger win - momentum means you don't have to struggle to break the habit,

you just go with the flow.

Finally, NONE OF THAT MATTERS unless you really really REALLY want to get rid of

shyness and nervousness. Without strong desire, you'll just give up or won't even try. I was totally sick and

tired of shyness and nervousness holding me back, so I decided to do something about it.
What to do now? Just

decide to take action on each of those steps one by one.

[belgareth]

Hey Slick. That's a good

article and ha a lot of truth in it. There's no problem with posting it, provided you have the legal right to post

it and you properly attribute where it came from. Take care of those two items and we'll all be happy.

[Bruce]

Yes, great article. Myself I was

terminally shy when I was younger. Pheromones do help you feel more frisky and that is good too, but the "inner

game" is always more important. I could drone on an on about this, but for the moment I'll just throw out a word

about a problem that I find separate and more obstinate than your normal garden-variety shyness. That is the ol'

"lone wolf syndrom" or a term I coined a while back "Clint Eastwood Effect". You can be extremely good looking

even... cool, manly, sexy etc etc, but if you send out this message that says "I vant to be aloooone", you are

going to be very lonely on date night. In my own head, I felt like I really wanted to connect with someone, but

when I got reliable feedback from women, I always heard that I looked sort of scary or at the very least like I

wasn't having a very good time. Later when I was in Japan and single I was entertaining for a living together

with an Australian guy who was even shyer than I was; much shyer in fact. He was almost comatose, but beautiful

young women would somehow make their way up to him EVERY DAY! It was driving me nuts. Finally I figured it out; he

was totally harmless looking even helpless looking!

Anyway,.... my tips for the day:
1. Cheer up, smile look

like you are having a great day and are eager to share it with others!
2. Like the article says, bit by bit take

a few chances
3. Take ballroom and/or swing dancing lessons

If you do this stuff, it will totally change your

life

B

[slick]

Bruce is 100% spot on about

smiling, when i have been out clubbing in the past ive been told by a lot of girls i look miserable and cheer up, so

always look like the life of the party, women will be attracted to that.

Also if you are really shy you can

start with baby steps like smiling at a number of women, then take it a step further and keeping eye contact (not

staring) then after your comfortable with that say hi or something. This will build your confidence. If you can't

do it with pretty girls start of with grannies and then work your way up.

There was a programme called seduction

school on the other day in the uk where three misfits one very tall and clumsy, one short guy and one really obese

guy were taught by famous pick up artists to pick up women. When they started of they were really nervous it was

funny but they kept on at it and after a week they were getting dates and numbers.

Last piece of advice is to

treat rejection as a learning experience and dont focus on your past failures as it will show up to women as they

are very intuitive. just see them as feedback for you to improve your approach and if she badly rejects you just

have the frame that there are plenty of girls out there that would love to meet a descent guy with sexual value

[marcuccio88]

1. Cheer up, smile

look like you are having a great day and are eager to share it with others!
2. Like the article says, bit by bit

take a few chances
3. Take ballroom and/or swing dancing lessons

If you do this stuff, it will totally change

your life

B[/quote]


Great advice!!! Nice thread. I have always been shy with women. Oddly enough, I am

very extroverted, but not in a sexual way. I have no problem ensnaring people into my web of friends, I can talk to

anyone - its the execution with women that has been my struggle. I am single now after being married for 7 yrs and

I am trying to get back into the game.
I am a good catch - I just think I put out the vibe "stay away" "not

available" Then I think I put out too much of a "friendly" vibe.
and perhaps I think about things way too

much...
time for action

[belgareth]

A couple good points, Slick.

One is not to just smile but to be happy. Women aren't stupid and can spot a fake half a mile away. Have fun in

what you are doing; enjoy yourself! It shows and it attracts women...or people in general.

The other is to stop

worrying about what people think of you. I'm a world class geek in a lot of ways and am shaped like a fire hydrant.

But I still go out there and have fun. And because I am not in the least concerned about what anybody thinks about

me and am having a lot of fun in almost every circumstance, women are attracted to me. Some say I am a leader, I say

I'm not but I'm not a follower either. I am going my own way and am having fun doing it.

The last is that

rejection is nothing at all. Who cares?...go play somewhere else if you don't like it here. You cannot be rejected

if you refuse to buy into their world where you seek their approval. I can't tell you the number of times I've

been approached simply because I refuse to play the game of approaching them. You'd be surprised how many truly

lovely women hate to be laughed at or look at as if they are comical when they start their games.

[GrIp MeNtOr]

I dont think that stuff

works Im always have fun with my friends. You see I shy about women not everyone. Im like you belgareth I dont

appraoch women I feel that women should approach men as well. Ive had some girls approach me but Im not very good at

talking. A lot of girls do things to me but I cant tell if it is flirting. If it is flirting and I dont do anything

back I guess thats why they dont like me cause they think I dont like them.

[belgareth]

Perhaps I should explain. I

don't expect to be approached. Instead, I treat women the same as anybody else. Have fun, laugh, joke and smile

but include everybody around you and never make it seem like any particular woman is all that important to you. The

ones that expect men to approach them you should always walk away from or turn away from. Never give anybody else

control

[roamngnom]

Grip, It sounds like your

confidence needs a boost. Go somewhere where people are paid to be nice to you,resturants for example. If talking

to women is the problem(don't know if im getting into hot water in the forum for this). Go to a hooters or

Gentlemans' clubi"ie" a strip club, it will help wonders.These women make money being nice to the customers they

serve, it's a great booster shot for confidence. I'm married with 2 small children and the self esteem has helped

me with my life and every other aspect of my life, im willing to do anthing i used to think impossible, talk to new

people ,especially beautiful women, try new things.Know im not saying goin were people are paid to be nice to you is

a miracle cure, its a small step just like pheromones.

[Bruce]

I find it a good practise to be

equally friendly to everyone regardless of their utility to your life (ie: not just the "cool" people). In the

world of dating, this sort of boils down to not just feeling like you want to talk to the babes only. With time you

find it takes the edge off.

[Gegogi]

Good advice Bruce.

[sweet thing]

Bruce, you know I have mad

love for you, but you need to update your picture. By now your baBY IS READY FOR COLLEGE!

Sweet Thing