Suggested excuses for not going to work

[belgareth]

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif1. I won't be in today. My fish is sick and I need to take it to the

vet.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif2. My neighbor's daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help

her get it

out.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif3. I won't be in today because I have come down with Spring

Fever.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif4. I fell off a ladder fixing the roof on my house and I landed on my

elbow.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif5. Last night in San Francisco I was attacked by a guy who didn't like the remarks

I made about him and he hit me in the face and broke the windshield of my car with a small bat that I tried to hit

him

with.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif6. I have a head ache.... # 22...actual times someone at work has called in with this

excuse!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif7. I don't think I'll be in work for awhile. Yesterday I was riding my son's BMX

bike and I fell and broke my ankle it two places and I'm in the

hospital.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]8. I won't be in today. I'm still drunk from last

night.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif9. I'm not coming in because I need a mental

day.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif10. Last night we had a party and I woke up with a strange man in my

bed!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif11. My car caught on fire on the way to work so I can't make it

in.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif12. My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I was pushing it to a gas station and I

got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the

doctors.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif13. My cat got ran over by a motorcycle and I need to take it to the

vet.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif14. My boyfriend hit me over the head with a speaker and I'm kind of messed

up.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif15. I was stepping down out of my trailer and I missed the step and when I landed on

the ground I messed up my

back.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif16. Called in on Tuesday I won't be able to come to work for the rest of the week.

My shrink put me on a depressant pill yesterday and I was up all night wired. I'm in zombieland right now and I

don't want to drive in fear of an accident, or run the machines in fear of getting hurt or dismembered. I need the

rest of the week off cause my body needs to adjust to the medication. So I need the last three days as vacation days

because I've missed too much time already and I can't afford to miss anymore .



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif17. I won't be in today or Ever Again. I've found a way to earn money by staying at home

working on my puter. I'm tired of getting paid for punching a time clock, working my but off on a J.O.B (Just Over

Broke) 9 to 5 and retiring with $ 0 in my bank account, forced to live of the Government and taxpayers. If you want

to know what I'll be doing, send an email to: Cookie18@SmartBot.NET Hooray! Freedom at Last!



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif18. Tom Robbins says: "any one who goes to work everyday... everyday... IS sick! so, 'call

in well' to work

today!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif19. Had to be rushed to hospital for coffee burns on my lap be in tomorrow!



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif20. I cant come to work today because the city is paving my street and I cant get

out!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif21. A graphic artist I once knew told me of a person who called in and said his house

had burned overnight. He was caught in the lie when word got out because co-workers took up a collection and the guy

had to come clean when they gave it to him. He said it's just so much easier to say you've got diarrhea. They

can't argue with that. (Imodium hadn't been invented

yet.)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif22. My wife is too sick to get out of bed, so I'm staying home to take care of

her.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif23. A lady took a leave of absence to cavort with her boyfriend. The supervisor looked

the other way when she said she had to go to Arizona to get her stuff out of storage. After her return, she

transferred to the front office. When her paramour again desired her companionship for travel, she said her father

had a stroke. She was quietly dismissed when the office manager called the mother to ask how the allegedly ailing

father was doing and was told the

truth.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif24. Back in the olden days, female employees were not required to report their

pregnancies, and she was one of the damnedably lucky ones that never showed. Her boss found out when she called to

say she couldn't make it that day because she was in

labor.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif25. I wont be in today I ran into a car and need to go to the doctor's I cant find

my shoes I cant find my Son!!! There is a good show on T.V. I need to donate blood today I'm Drunk I left rubber

cement next to my bed why I was sleeping and got really High I fell on a flashlight " Butt First " My dog ate my car

keys and went to sleep and when I woke up found my self in another

state.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif26. I won't be in today....I'm calling in

dead.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif27. Excuse me sir, but I won't be in today. My home is flooded and I'm currently

standing on my dresser in my second story bedroom. Thanks and have a nice

day.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif28. Can't make it in. I have a chance of filling in for someone on jury

duty.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif29. Hello, This is, ________ I've used all of my sick days and I'm calling in

dead.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif30. Actually used (and believed) when I was working in Toronto. "You'll never

believe it! I said with a straight face, I was heading here with plenty of time to be on time, when my car tires

got stuck in the streetcar tracks! Now, I could drive forward and backwards but I couldn't turn off the tracks. I

continued. Now I knew I couldn't safely stay there, so I did the only thing I could. I said, I had to drive all the

way down to the rail yards and (finally) drive out free at the barns. Just to top it off, I continued, I'm sure you

know how far away the rail yards are from work. I took me an extra half hour just to drive back! That's why I was

late for work."



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif31. I can't come into work today because of eye trouble.... I can't see working

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif32. If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me

to clean all the guns

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif33. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't

get off the john, but I feel good about

it.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif34. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who

fired me for not showing up for work. OK?



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif35. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at

Wal-Mart.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]36. Constipation has made me a walking time

bomb.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif37. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet

.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif38. I had missed a lot of work and my boss made me promise I would not be late, but I

woke that day to find my cat bleeding. The poor cat had a hole in its belly where an abscess had burst. I called the

boss and she said, " Sure it does..." The vet was very accommodating and wrote me an official excuse, and it hung on

the boss's bulletin board for a very long time. It read, "Please excuse Sheryl being late to work today. Her cat

had a hole in

it.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif39. I am calling in because I do not feel up to par

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif40. I am not coming in because I tried to dye my hair blonde, but it came out green!



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif41. I'm not going to work today, I spent my paycheck on lottery tickets, and I'm out of

Gas 'till payday. (actually used by a security guard)



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif42. I have a bit of a problem. I got the end of a Q-tip stuck in my ear and have to go to

the doctors to get it

out.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif43. I was already at work for this and wanted to leave...Tell the boss I called home a

few minutes ago and gotta go, my girlfriend went out to sunbathe naked in the back yard and locked herself out of

the house and needs the door

opened.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif44. Actually used and they will know me but it was 15 yrs ago.... my roommates

horse overate and he has been walking it since midnight, I need to walk the horse so it doesn't lay down and

die.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif45. Yesterday I Caught a bad cold while vacationing in Miami, Florida.

Sorry!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif46. A man I worked with once called in with... "My wife's breasts are sore after

her breast enlargement so I need to stay home and massage her

tits."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif47. My husband had a vasectomy yesterday and his balls are enlarged, so I need to

stay home and help him ice

them.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif48. This really Happened to me, I was on my way in to work and fell down the back

steps of my apartment and I had my cell phone I phoned my work to tell them I wouldn't be in because I fell and

hurt my back and also asked them to phone my husband so he could come help me and take me to the hospital

.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif49. A SWAT team closed off a part of a street after a disgruntled ex-employee shot

several people at a printing firm. A worker for a different a company called to report he couldn't finish his

service route on that block that day (before the event was reported on the news) because there were snipers on the

roof.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif50. I'm not coming to work to day because my computer has got a virus. And my

computer means more to me then this

job

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif51. When I lived in Mesa, AZ, I was living in a 4-plex that wasn't exactly living in

the best area of town (it was a little pocket of not-so-great neighborhood, actually). It shared a common parking

area and driveway with the building behind us. I was working as an event planner for Motorola for the WORST boss...

(She later was sued by Motorola and my former co-workers for creating a hostile workplace...heh heh) Anyway, one day

I got up and got dressed for work, went out to my car, and immediately had to go back into the house to call in...

Uh, Boss, I'm gonna be late today... there's about 30 police officers across the street, and I'm blocked in my

driveway by a HAZMAT TRUCK!!! The Police had discovered that the tenants in the place directly across the street had

built secret "tunnels" from one apartment to another, and the Police were in the process of busting the Meth Lab the

tenants were running, it turns out... and there were about 15 police cars and 4 fire trucks in the way! If that's

not a GOOD excuse, I don't know what is! *laugh*



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif52. This is the mother of all "calling in" excuses. The other day, I went to work. And one

girl didn't even show up or even call. So the supervisor called her and she was still sleeping. She said that I

forgot I had to work today ....I mean please. "



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif53. I needed a good excuse for missing work, and I have always felt that the more

ridiculous (while still believable) the "reason" was the better. This is my favorite. Imagine me on the phone with

my boss: I was playing fetch with my dog and the ball took a bad hop and broke a back window. When I went out to

check out the damage, I stepped on a big piece of glass and cut my foot really bad. I had to go get stitches, and I

don't think I can be on my feet a lot today. The trick to making this excuse stick -- I put a pebble in my shoe for

the next couple of work days that I attended to remind me to walk gingerly due to my "stitches." It worked like a

charm. Hell, it even got me some good sympathy -- stitches and a dog lover, who can resist that?



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif54. One of the guys in my department phoned at 11:30 on a Tuesday to explain why he hadn't

come into work that week: " I went to a party on Saturday and met a girl, we've been in bed ever since. I'm

getting tired now and will be at work in an hour or so

.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif55. I am sorry but I will be unable to come in to work today. My agoraphobia (fear of

leaving the house) is kicking in and I am afraid to drive

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif56. I got an excuse from the wife of one of my employees once -- he was fixing up an

old school bus for them to see the world in. In order to fix it the way he wanted, he had to raise the height of the

roof. This is what she said: Daniel won't be into work today. He fell off his sawhorse while cutting the roof off

the bus. He landed on a pile of two by fours. It's ok tho, the saw wasn't hurt a bit. Believe me, that is only the

beginning of the cake mix that Daniel went

thru!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif57. Can't come in today, the springs on the garage door broke and I can't get the

car out cause the door won't

open.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif58. My coworker Wilma Martinez called in and said " The snowplow was stuck in front

of her driveway ". It took three days before they could get back to tow it away. Chicago January blizzards. She

brought in pictures the next

week.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif59. Sorry Boss I can't come into work today...my spirit guide says work is for

losers!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif60. Well, you see, my boyfriend's friend's cousin, her mother is a total flake

and her three kids are getting taken away by CPS and she is going to jail, and my boyfriend is working, his cousin

is out of town and so you can see that I have to stay home and watch

them.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif61. There has been an urgent family emergency, which I can't talk about lest I

endanger any innocent bystanders. (This one could be good for a few

days).

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif62. My dog is having puppies and I need to help

her.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif63. Someone smashed in my windows this morning with a large blunt

object.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif64. (If you have a friend you want to skip work with) "At our potluck yesterday,

there must have been something bad. I am so sick, I think I have food poisoning"....(a few moans for effect)...

(then have your buddy call & do the same

routine).

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]65. I sprained my wrist cooking dinner in the microwave last

nite.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif66. I slipped in the shower and torque my knee. I can't walk on it at

all.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif67. I have extremely bad diarrhea. I mean REALLY bad. I am stuck in the house for a

LONNNNNNNG time. A *long*

time.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif68. True Story ---- A fellow employee showed up 2 1\2 hrs late because he couldn't

open the trunk on his car so he drove to 3 different auto shops then on the way back from the 3rd his trunk popped

open. The reason he needed to get in his trunk he had a tire low on air and wanted to change

it.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif69. This one was actually used by one of my employees. "Sorry I did not show up

yesterday, I locked myself in the

bathroom."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FO

NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]70. I won't be able to come to work next week . Were trying for a baby and the

doc says next week is the best

chance.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif71. These aren't excuses. They're signs at Phil's Oyster Bar in Baton Rouge. One

says " In case of death in the family, please call in before 11:AM on the day of the game! " The other says " New

Employment Policy: Work or Get Fired!

"

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif72. I'm calling in blind - just can't see myself working for you

today...!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]73. This one has worked for me every time I used it, but the only issue is not to

use all the time. And now the excuse. I can't make in to work today, I ate bad sushi last

night.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif74. I will not be into work today because my parents dog

died.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif75. Someone dumped a truck-load of sand in front of my driveway and I won't be in

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif76. A friend I hadn't seen for years came round just as I was setting off for work,

I couldn't leave could I?



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif77. I actually used this. It did happen. I was late yesterday because my cat was alarmed at

my sleep-talking and jumped off the bed, knocked my alarm off the dresser, of which the batteries fell out; And I

over

slept.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif78. I won't be in today because I can't find my

clothes.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif79. I'm calling in sick - of working for your

company...!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[F

ONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]80. I won't be able to make it to work today due to my Aunt flying in from

______________, you see, she has one arm and two pieces of luggage and really needs me to be there for

her.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif81. Employee....Sorry I didn't come to work yesterday. Boss....Why didn't you call

off. Employee....I had to take my grandmother to the hospital and they didn't have a phone! A TRUE STORY



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif82. I am sick with the Lack. Lack of

ambition.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]83. Last night a friend I haven't seen in a long time came over and gave me a

bear hug and broke one of my ribs, so I won't be in

today.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif84. True Story .... A co-worker called in to work 2 hrs. late and said. I can't

come to work today, sometime during the night, a reindeer broke it's leg and died, blocking my driveway, so I have

to wait for the State Ranger to arrive and perform an investigation and remove the reindeer before I can get my car

out of the garage.(this guy actually lives near the N.J. Shore Area). He also called in two weeks later with this

one .... (five hours late for work, he called in and said). I'll be late for work today because the train had a

flat tire and I had to help change

it.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif85. This is a phenomenally effective excuse, for reasons which escape me: "Sorry I'm

late; I had to buy a lottery ticket." If someone points out that you are, in fact, several HOURS late, say "oh,

yeah, there was a line."For some reason, no one ever questions you. If you are working some crap minimum wage job,

"poverty" excuses are always good: "Sorry I'm late, I had to pawn my alarm clock." or more elaborate ones

involving having the gas cut off and hypothermia, and the like. This will instill such a feeling of guilt in your

boss that he may not even dock your pay for the several hours in which you were not, in fact, at

work!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif86. I won't be in today. I was up all week-end with this new girl I met and I

didn't get any sleep....if you know what I

mean!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif87. My name is Susan I live and work in Lexington, North Carolina. I work for a place

called LampCrafters and my co-workers went out for lunch with some of her friends and smoked marijuana. After she

returned from lunch another co-worker was teasing her and told her he had put a voodoo curse on her. She ran crying

to the boss and said some one put a root?? on her and it had her head all messed up and she had to go home. Believe

it or not it worked! (Oh this was suppose to be her first time smoking pot)



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif88. I called into work a few weeks ago and told my boss that the filling in my tooth had

come out and I was in Excruciating pain and that I couldn't see a dentist till the end of the

week!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif89. I can't come in today because my daughter's asthma was really bad all night and

I had to take her to the hospital for a treatment and I didn't get any sleep

!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif90. I lost my car keys skiing and I can't leave until I find

them!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif91. An employee who was a half hour late for work was asked (by me) why she was so

late. She responded that it was Friday the 13th and she was afraid if she drove over 20 mph, she'd get in a wreck.

Since she had to take a major four-lane highway to work, she was a little ticked off at me for doubting her word at

driving 20 in a

55.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif92. Actual employees record. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. This was

only a few days of a 6 page list for two years of employment. 8/16 Sat. 8:15 Joe called and said he was sick and

probably wont be in on Monday because he is so sick today. 8/17 I called Joe's house and His mom said he went out

with his friend. 8/18-8/19-8/20 Joe still stayed out sick. 9/6 10:30 Joe called in sick. I asked why he did not call

me earlier and he said he was sleeping. 10/13 Monday Joe did not show up at all. 10/18 Sat. Joe asked to show up at

9:00 on Monday 10/20. 10/20 Mon. Joe showed up at 10:30 am. I spoke with him as to why he showed up later than he

stated. He had no reason at all for being 1 1/2 hours late. 10/25 Sat. Joe asked to show up at 9:00 on Monday 10/27.

I spoke with him in regards to not doing the same thing as the week before and he said that he would be in on time

and he was sorry for being late. 10/27 Mon. Joe did not show up so I called him at 3:15 to find out where he was.

Joe showed up at 3:30 p.m. with no excuse or remorse for being 6 1/2 hours

late.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif93. My boyfriend can't come to work, today. He's sick and has 111 degree

temperature (hope you're going to the funeral, lady). Note: This really happened and the guy was fired. Gee! Wonder

why?



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif94. My dad, Larry Taylor, won a radio contest in Seattle WA with this great excuse for not

coming back to work from vacation... Don't call, don't write, don't let anyone know what's going on - take an

extra week, or two. Then when you are ready to go back to work, just call up your boss and say.... " Don't pay the

ransom - I escaped!

"

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif95. I can not come to work today because I do not have any

shoes.!!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]96. An employee phoned in at 9:00 am with the following. "My sister stole my

money and I am out looking for

her."

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif97. I supervise a group of truck drivers who are paid by the hour. One of their

tactics for getting more time is to give excuses for being late returning from a run. Flat tires and mechanical

break-downs are too easily documented, so they often come up with excuses such as " there was an accident that

closed the highway" or "the bridge at BigTown was open to let a barge pass." My favorite is: "I saw and alligator

on the side of the road (we operate in Louisiana), and I stopped to help the game warden capture it."



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif98. I am unable to come to work today. I tried lifting our baby daughter out of her crib

and twisted my

back.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif99. I can't come in to work today, my sister tripped over the dog, fell off the

porch and broke her wrist. I have to take her to the

hospital.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]100. I'm sorry I was late, I forgot to look at my

watch!!!

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif101. My co-worker once called in this excuse to me and asked me to tell our

supervisor. " I have ants." It was later explained that she had ants in her basement apartment and had to call an

exterminator

in.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif102. I won't be into work today because my plane that was going to leave on Sunday

didn't leave until

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif103. I work in a Medical office and have to open the place at 5:30 am. well, I

overslept that morning (really overslept) and didn't get there until around 10:00 am. Well, the boss shows up at

8:00 am and I can imagine was wondering where I was for all this time. When he asked I replied..." I was here, you

know how the copier is out again? Well, I was under the desk trying to fix it. I don't know how you couldn't see

me, my legs were sticking out far enough to trip you." He replied," we'll have to call the repair man for that I

cant have you under the desk for 4

hours!"

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif104. On my way to work today, my tooth cracked. I'll be going to the

dentist.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif105. I'm going to be 20 minutes late, but I'll be there. 2 Hours later. . .

You'll never believe this, but I fell asleep. I'm on my way now. The next day . . . I never did wake up, now I'm

not feeling well so I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe it was too much

sleep!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif106. I am going to be late because this morning the soul came off of my sons tennis

shoe. I have to wait until the mall opens at 10:00 to buy him some more shoes. The Boss: Well can he wear another

pair of shoes to school? ME: On what you pay me, he doesn't have another pair. The bank opens at 9:00 I have to go

by there and take out a loan for the new shoes. Be there as soon as I

can.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif107. Late For Work.... I'll be a little late today. I washed my car yesterday and

then parked it right away (and since this has happened before I should have remembered) but I set the parking brake

and now one wheel is stuck. I would drive my wife's car, but the last time this happened, I just drove the car

'till the wheel broke free, but this time it stayed stuck and now my car is in the middle of the road, so I really

need to fix it before I come

in.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif108. I can't make it to work today, because the fan belt broke on the van, the brakes

went out, and it has a flat

tire.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif109. I can't come into work today, because the hot water tap broke on the

bathtub.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif110. The pharmacy is making up some cream for me today - so I won't be in to

work.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif111. I left the windows open in my room all night and when I woke up I had a stiff

neck. I can't coming in

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif112. A friend of mine and her brother went to Florida for a week to see her ex. She

called and said she was going to be a few days late because her brother was stung by a jellyfish...of course I

started laughing. She says "really, there were 3 stings on that beach in 2 days..." and went on to embellish

further. Finally I said "yeah right". There was a short pause, then she began laughing. "They bought it at work!"

she

replied.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif113. I'll be in later today. I accidentally through away my jewelry, that was in

a zip lock bag, away in the dumpster after I got back from vacation. I have to try and find

it.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif114. When I was an evening manager at a grocery store, I would receive a variety of

excuses for tardiness or absences. My favorite was one that was called in by a sixteen-year old carryout. He called

five minutes before his shift was supposed to start and said that he would be unable to work that night because his

girlfriend's house had almost caught on fire the night before, and he was

tired.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif115. Work....I didn't want to be late for work again today so I called in sick

instead!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif116. This excuse has been used by myself several times. I'll be out today or

late, I woke up dizzy (I suffer from

vertigo).

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]117. Please excuse Henry for being late. He was stuck in the bathroom without any

toilet

paper.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif118. I can't come into work today. There is a cat sitting on the fence outside more

door and he won't let me out. It looks like he will attack me if I go

outside!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif119. I'll be in a little late today. During the night the power must have gone

off because when I woke up my alarm clock time was flashing. And of course I over

slept.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif120. My assistant called in with this one. "I cant come to work today because my cat

is lonely and stressed out and if I don't spend quality time with him, he will keep peeing on the

furniture!"

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[F

ONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]121. A girl I worked with called in with: "I wont be in today because my dog

has a headache, and I need to take it to the

vet.."

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif122. I won't be in to work today. My wife said she is going to conceive today, and

I want to be there when it

happens.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif123. I can't come in today....I found a stray cat by my home this week-end and it

has really bad diarrhea and I have to take it to the vets.



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif124. I'm going to need to take a couple of day off Thursday and Friday, because the city

said I have to clean up my back yard before Monday or I'm going to get a big

fine!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif125. I can't come in today because I feel sick and I can't breath because of all

the smoke in the

air.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif126. A girl that I used to work with said she couldn't get come to work because

she'd been abducted over the weekend and needed to

recover.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif127. Sorry, won't be in for 3 days. Went to see my sister off on her cruise to

Bahamas...darn ship left with me still on it.. Captain refuses to turn

back.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif128. I'll be in late this morning. I have a possum in my backyard and it's freaking

out my dog. I have to get it out before I can

leave.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif129. I'll be in late today because my cat is sick again. (This is the same person

from excuse #

123)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif130. I'm going to be late today. I was taking out the trash at my girlfriends

apartment this morning when the bag ripped open and spilled garbage on my clothes. I'll have to go home and do my

laundry because this was my last clean

shirt.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif131. True: from a workmate to our boss, who showed us the letter after the chap had

left our employment. "Dear Ken, Sorry I was late again yesterday, I got your note, but what really happened, is, I

was having porridge for my breakfast, when our pet budgie fell into it, I couldn't leave the poor thing like that!

It took me over the hour to clean the porridge off

Jenny."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif132. Over the week-end my boyfriend and I ate raw oysters at a restaurant in Half

Moon Bay, California and we both have food poisoning. My boyfriend had to go to the hospital because he was throwing

up blood and I have extremely bad diarrhea! I won't be in for a few

days.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif133. "I'm not going to work today because if the government can sit on their behinds

and get paid, so can I!! Who wants to work to support them anyways! Not I !!! I think I will sit on mine for awhile

and make my own money with my favorite buddy, my computer!! Hail to technology!"



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif134. "I can't make it to work today, my keys are locked in my car, my car is locked in the

garage, and my husband is away for the week with the key to the

garage....Sorry..."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif

135. "I can't come to work today, my chain came off my

bicycle."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]136. My dog dug a hole through the wall trying to get to a rabbit under my

trailer. I have to get it patched because the trailer is for sale and someone is coming to look at it tomorrow. This

excuse was from one of my

co-workers!!!

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif

137. I cannot come into work today because I came down with a bad case of

something or

other.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif138. I was taking a shower and I drop the soap, as I reached down to pick it up ,I

slipped an fell in the shower, which caused me to bust my lip ,twist my ankle, strain my back, stub my finger, and

get soap in my

eyes.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif139. We have a horse and it has a habit of escaping, one morning I was running late

as it was I leave my driveway, get on the road what do I see but the family horse trotting down the road. Well this

is a stubborn horse and took me quite a while to get the horse back home. After this I called work and told them

what had happen, the laughter was overwhelming, but I do think they believed

me.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif140. Friends of mine were performing in a band. They had a really important gig one

Friday night. I knew this date and told my boss that I could not work late that night. Well me asked me that night

to work late. I told him with a straight face. Sorry sir I have to go to a bar tonight and listen to some bad

music.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif141. Since some people still consider homosexuality a sickness it stands to reason

that we can call into work "gay"...as in, I can't come in to work today, I'm

gay.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif142. I won't be in today....my hair wont

start.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif143. This excuse was called in by an employee one Friday morning where my stepfather

was working about 20 years ago. " I won't be able to come in today. It seems that I have some unknown contagious

disease; but I'll be fine on Monday". (true

excuse)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif144. I have to leave work early my kotex string broke.......I really used this one

it

works!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif145. My husband called in work to tell them he couldn't find his cat and they took

that excuse. We did find the cat though and my husband took the rest of the day

off.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif146. A work mate failed to turn up to work one day. Finally in the afternoon one of

the managers rang him at home. He had only slept in until 10:00am but his clock had incorrectly displayed 5:00pm,

too embarrassed to ring work he went back to

sleep.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif147. Over the years I have missed work or been late due to various illnesses, cars

breaking down, sick horses and dogs, emergency babysitting, and even power outages causing the alarm clock to fail.

My favorite story is the time my husband and I were late to work at a horse show where we were volunteering. We were

over an hour late because the lock on the bathroom door in our hotel room broke, locking my husband inside! Everyone

laughed when they thought it was a cute excuse. They laughed even more when they were persuaded it was

true!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif148. Late for work. Boss: Why are you late? Man I went to have my hair cut. Boss:

What during works time? Man Well It grows during works time. Boss: Hey listen it doesn't all grow during works

time! Man Well that's why I didn't have it all cut

off!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif149. This was actually used when I worked at Dairy Queen. I was out of town with my

friend and we had a flat tire so I will not be able to come into work. Her friend that she claimed to be out of town

with came though drive through within a

hour.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif150. A former coworker called in with this one: After a bad storm, her electricity

was off. She called to tell us she couldn't come to work because she couldn't get her car out of the garage

because she had an electric door opener and no electricity. She lived too far out to catch a ride with someone

else.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif151. I didn't come to work because I forgot

to.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif152. I'll be late because I'm having car trouble. The trouble is that I'm not in it

yet. (I actually used this one day when I over slept...it

worked.)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif153. Miss an entire day of work, do not call in, do not do anything that is

work-related, then when you go in to work the next day and are asked where you were, just simply say that you do not

want to fucking talk about it. If you are pressed for an answer, just shake your head in disgust, and walk away.

Remember to mumble all day, something about 'bitches and

whores.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif154. A Guy in our IT department was very late for work today because he said he

couldn't get his garage door open, it took him two hours to dismantle it to get his car

out!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif155. My former supervisor once called in sick because she said she had a yeast

infection! A few weeks later she called in sick again and said that she had hemorrhoids! (Actually

happened)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]156. I used this excuse and there's not a whole lot they can do. I called in and

told them my front door fell off my

house!

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif157. A friend of mine called into her work and told them she had amnesia and wasn't

even sure if she worked there to be calling in

sick.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif158. I'm sorry that I'm late for work today boss. I stayed home to wait for the

cable guy. Then I remembered that you don't pay me enough for me to have cable. So here I am.



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif159. Employee: Sorry I'm late, but I couldn't get my car started. Boss: Why not?

Employee: I was

asleep.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif160. I can't come in to work today. When I woke up, I looked in the mirror and I

saw a gray

hair.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif161. I can't come in today. I looked in the mirror and I saw wrinkles.

Ugh!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif162. I wont be in to work today, my cat hid my car key because he gets lonesome when

I'm

gone.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif163. One of my employees called in last year with this excuse, and she was serious: I

have a boil on the hair line of my pubic hair and it is

sore.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif164. I am a manager of a hardware store and I have heard the best ones !!! I once

called an employee at noon who was supposed to be in at 8. He stated that he would not be in because the day before

he was putting ladders away in the lumber department and he came down with hemorrhoids !!! Needless to say his pain

in the ass is good for a lot of laughs

!!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif165. I have a co-worker who had to miss work because she was breaking the ice in her

freezer with a knife and hit the whatchamicallit (official name) that gives the freon to the freezer and her fridge

was leaking freon. As this is a hazardous substance, she had to stay home and wait for the HazChem people to

arrive.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif166. Overheard @ a Taco Bell " I have to go home, my baby has worms...." (unknown

what baby means, human or animal).... "My baby has worms coming out of her

mouth".

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif167. We were late to work because we had to pull off the road to watch the whales

while they were

breaching.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FO

NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]168. I felt so sick that I didn't feel like getting out of bed to get to the

telephone to call in

sick.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif169. I got my truck stuck in the car wash yesterday and messed up my back and cut my

hands pushing it out, so I wont be in to work today I broke the straps on my prosthetic leg and I have a bad sore on

my stump and cant

walk.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif170. The babysitter didn't show up today so I cant come in to

work.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif171. My radiator has a leak in it. (employee routinely drives more than one

car)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif172. I wont be in to work today my girlfriends husbands dieing and I have to be there

to console

her.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif173. I'm sorry I was late for work, but when I was getting ready to brush my teeth I

squeezed to much toothpaste out of the tube and it took me a long time to get it all back

in.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif174. We had a girl call in with this excuse......"I can't come in to work as a skunk

sprayed me last night!" Now how's that for an

excuse?

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif175. The blankets were too heavy for me to lift so I was stuck in bed all

day.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif176. (Monday Morning) I won't be in today, I was cleaning my shower yesterday

morning, and the fumes from the cleaner made me a little nauseous. (Tuesday Morning) I won't be in today, I am

still feeling a little nauseous, you know...the fumes. (Wednesday) I am just going to take the rest of the week off,

those fumes were really strong.---Someone actually used this in my

office.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif177. I work for a company that makes and sells UPS systems for computers. We have a

tech here who does not like her job and has pretty much used every excuse there is. Like, "I'm having menopausal

hot flashes," and she's only 32 years old. The best came to us on a Tuesday, which happened to be the first day of

the Consumer Electronic Show in Vegas. The bosses were gone. She comes in at 11:30, instead of 8:00 like she's

supposed to and gives me the old "I-thought-it-was-Saturday!" HA! On a Tuesday?! I think

NOT!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif178. I was really horney last night and I had my thumb in my ass when I sneezed!! I

clinched up so violently that I broke my thumb and will not be able to return to work for at least two weeks!

OOOPS

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif179. I was trying to find an excuse for work in the morning. I work Friday, Saturday

and Sunday 12 hours a day. My Boss knows I like to drink alot! I wanted to watch football on Sunday since I work

Sunday during the day. But, I once I left a message he never got. So I might use it tonight. " Sam I just met this

great Lady"....I'm single 40.... I knew he would understand." I think I'm going to get lucky....so I hope! I

won't be at work in the morning!" He never got the message and I didn't get lucky, but I did get drunk and didn't

get into trouble, even if he heard

it!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif180. Sorry for not coming into work yesterday. I had the making up for everyone else

but me taking time off from work

flu!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif181. Sorry....I over slept and I forgot to come in for the first day of work at my new

job. Is it OK to come in

tomorrow?

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]182. I once told my boss that I had converted to Krishnaism and since it was the

Maharishi Guru's birthday I couldn't come in because I had to go to the temple to worship. It

worked.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif183. I can't come in today because the lady at the end of the road has just hung

her wash out to dry and I don't want to drive down the road, cause dust, and she'll have to do her wash

again.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif184. Man does not show up to work, the boss calls and he says where are you. The man

says I'm sick and won't be in. The boss asks why didn't you call? The man replies that the squirrels ate through

his phone line. The boss mentions that he was talking to him this minute on the phone. The man replies that the

squirrel only ate through the outgoing

line.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif185. A girl at work who always seemed to miss work a lot came up with this good one.

She lived with her parents and her parents were on vacation. She told the boss she had to leave early because her

parents were out of town and the dogs, the cats, and the bird did not like to be left home alone. So, the boss let

her go

home.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif186. This one is true! A co-worker called in and said her dog ate her underwear and

she didn't have any clean ones to wear. She said she would be in after she did some

laundry!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif187. I cannot come into work today. I have nausea, dizziness, body aches and

vomiting. These are secondary symptoms brought on by the birth of my child

yesterday.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FO

NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]188. A co-worker of mine used all of these in the same month: I'm sick...My

girlfriend is sick...My girlfriend is pregnant and I have to take her to the doctor...My car broke down (he has

three)...It's too windy...There's too much snow on the ground (he has a four-wheel drive, and the co-worker who

lived two blocks away didn't but still made it in. I had a co-worker at a beef plant who's paternal grandfather

died in September three years in a

row.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif189. I won't be in until later. I'm on Hawaii time during the morning, so it's only

6a.m. In the afternoon I'll revert back to local

time.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif190. I won't be into work today, or anymore. I just got a letter saying that I may

have won 20 million

dollars.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif191. I was late for work because the night before my boyfriend and I were having

sex and he decided to handcuff me to the bedpost and he forgot to bring the key so I had to wait till he came back

with it and it was late the next day he loved it ...I did for awhile...true lol my boss laughed and that was

it.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif192. I live in a major metropolitan area, and my co-workers and I take public

transportation to work. Living in the north we get our fair share of winter storms and snow accumulation. One day it

had snowed about 12" of snow and I and another coworker started out to work walking the three blocks to catch the

bus and then after the bus dropped us off, walking another 10 blocks through all the snow to the store. Boy were we

amazed when a co-worker, who lives two blocks from the store, called to say she could not make it in because there

was too much snow and the sidewalks were not

shoveled!!!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[

FONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]193. I once told my secretary not to expect too much from me this morning as I

was suffering from from a mild case of mushroom poisoning following a trip overseas. I had a remarkably easy day

one!

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif194. The boss demanded I submit to him in writing the reason I had been late two days

in a row. True story, and I didn't get fired. I had to walk to work, because my car has four flat tires. I

couldn't leave my apartment until the landlord's son went to work, because I owe two months rent and I think he

was the one who slashed my tires. He was late leaving. I tried to walk here as fast as I could, but my calves are

still very sore from dancing this past weekend, and my shoes don't fit right. That's why I was late yesterday,

too.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif195. I went to Mexico last night with some friends and on the way back across the

border we got detained by the police. They took us to the station and questioned us and kept us up all night, but

they finally let us go in the

morning.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif196. One of my co-workers called in and said that she could not make it in because

she had to take her nephew to the doctor. When she was asked shy she couldn't come in afterwards she said that he

had cheap insurance and he had to go to a doctor that was in the ghetto and she'd be there all

night.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif197. My husband received this excuse from a young woman who had just started working

for him when we had a cold spell in Charleston, SC. "My boy friend left the bedroom window open last night and it

was too cold to get out of bed this

morning."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]198. I won't be in to work today. My brain is

full.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif199. I can't came in today as I was flying back from the Super Bowl and the door I

thought led to the bathroom, was actually the exit door and I'm calling on my cell phone on my way down from 30,000

feet.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif200. One day, a co-worker failed to show up at work. As the day progressed, people

got increasingly concerned, as he never called in. Finally, around 2:30 or 3:00, someone called him to find out

where he was and what had happened. His story: his toilet had exploded and he was waiting for a

plumber!

[belgareth]

201. I dropped my car keys in the snow and I'm waiting for the temperature to warm up so I

can find

them.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif202. I'm sorry I am late, but it was foggy and I missed the

building.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]203. This is an actual excuse from a waitress. I have a bear in my freezer at

home. If I don't get it to the taxidermist soon It will

freezer-burn.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif

204. Actually used "I won't be in today coz my hair is still

wet!"

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif205. I'm really sorry I don't think I can come in to work today. My dad parks on

the street and there's a ditch in front of his house and when he went to jump it he missed, fell and thinks he has

some broken ribs and I have to bring him to the

hospital.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]206. A lady I work with always calls in with various excuses. Last spring she

called in for two days saying her landlord had beaten her up. She moved over the summer. A few weeks ago she called

in for the same

reason.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif207. My co-workers and I like to laugh about the excuses this one woman always

uses. One night, she had to go home early because she got an "emergency" phone call from her husband. He needed her

to come home because their dog couldn't

poop.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif208. True excuse used by my Store Manager.....I fell in the shower and hit my head,

there is a 10 foot snowdrift in our driveway (only snowed 10 inches) and we cant get the truck out (its a

4x4).

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif209. I'm calling in scared. I am "afraid" that I am not coming in

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif210. I'll be in late today. My dog is really sick and I have to take it to the

Vet!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif211. I'll be late today because I was out for my morning bike ride, and I was hit by

a car. I'm in the emergency room right now. (But I did talk the Receptionist through how to do my morning tasks) I

showed up in a cast, and crutches BEFORE

NOON!)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif212. An annoying little bimbo co-worker of mine has called in sick twice to say she

could not come in because she had to counsel a friend who was going to commit suicide. (It was a different friend

each time, gee could this have something to do with her

personality?)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif

213. I lost my voice and can not teach today. (if you are a teacher, or need

to talk for any reason at your job) Actually you can not call in sick, because you have no voice and need to take

voice

rest.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif214. I have horrible gas and I don't want my work environment to be a fire hazard

due to all of the methane gas that will be coming out of me. It would not be a productive work day for

anyone.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif215. I used to drive a truck for an agricultural firm. During harvest the hours

were long. A driver got off early (he definitely didn't like the hours) by claiming he was so tired that he s**t

his pants. We called him "pooper" after

that.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif216. On early call out for a military exercise, one of my colleagues used this

excuse: I had to round up a group of Giraffes on the motorway (freeway) - apparently they had escaped from a local

circus....... Yeah

right!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif217. One Friday afternoon a young, newly married Airman came up to me and asked for

the afternoon off. He was famous for his excuses so I was compelled to at least hear him out. I asked him why he

wanted off for the afternoon and he said, "this afternoon my wife is getting pregnant and I want to be there."

Needless to say I let him

go.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif218. When I was pregnant, and only 3 weeks from my due date, I worked in a Dr's

office. Friday our schedule was already booked solid for Monday, so as we were leaving, I joking told them that I

would be calling in Monday to tell them I was in labor. Because of the schedule, my co-workers laughed and told me I

had better be there or they would come get me. Well, Monday morning (early) I went into labor and had the baby 40

minutes before I should have been at work. I called my boss and told him I had the baby and wouldn't be in. The

only problem was 2 other people had called in sick. I had the best excuse

though.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif219. From a 9 year old grand daughter. Grandma the reason mom has to work is you

and grandpa won't give her money all the

time.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif220. I can't come to work today. My house is burning down and the fire engine's

blocking my

driveway.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]221. For obvious reasons this is for Mondays only, "I won't be in today because

I think it's still

Sunday."

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif222. LATE FOR WORK EXCUSES:

1. I decided to take a short cut so I could get to

work early but made a wrong turn.

2. I opened the door to leave the house and the damn dog got out! The gate in

the yard was open and the damn dog ran through the neighborhood with me running after him. I finally caught him 2

blocks away from the house doing the poodle.

3. PENDOT (Pennsylvania Department of Transportation [road

maintenance]) decided they didn't cause enough grief and created another road project to slow down the people that

found their way around the other road repair routes.

4. TRAFFIC! It was unbelievable. (This person walks to

work!)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif223. I am sorry I'm late but my left hand blinker on my car is broke and I had to

make right hand turns all the way

here.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif224. I had an excuse when I was working one time that even I had a hard time calling

in with, but it was the truth.

I was all ready to leave for work, when all of a sudden a bunch of fire trucks and

ambulances pulled onto my street. I was parked out front. I lived in an apartment across from lake Michigan. my car

was blocked, I couldn't get out. I called my boss and told him I would be late because my car was blocked by

emergency vehicles. I then went down to find out what was happening. As I got down to the ground floor, I found a

fireman standing by his truck watching the others searching down by the water. I asked him what happened. He said

someone called in saying there was a body floating in the water. This was after the beaches were closed for the

season. Everyone assumed this body was dead. After waiting for about half an hour, the firemen casually packed up

and started leaving. I asked the fireman, who gave me the original information, what happened. he said, the body got

up and walked away. It was a swimmer, but the lake was so turbulent, someone saw this person and thought it was a

dead body. Needless to say, when I arrived at the office, I was asked what happened. I had to tell the story,

without cracking up. I figured if I laughed, they wouldn't believe

me.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif225. I'm sorry I can't come in today. I went swimming yesterday and my dentures fell

out in the bottom of the pool, so I have to go to the dentist for new ones. (True

story)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif226. I am going to be late for work this morning because I took the time to read all

225 work excuses at this website. Doesn't matter...I'm the only employee and the boss is at work in another city.

There's no phone there, either. We use our cell phones. Of course, if she reads this she may fire me, but that's

okay...I'm retired

anyway.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif227. This really happened to me. I had to call into work and say that I was running

late because the gate to my apartments wouldn't open and it was the only exit gate. Of course, my boss did not

believe

me.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif228. As you know my cat died and I need the day off to have him

cremated.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]229. I took my new engagement ring off, put it on the counter, and believe that

it fell into the garbage. So I need today off to search for the

ring.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif230. I packed my winter clothes in a garbage bag to be stored in the basement, and my

husband through them out. I need to go look for

them.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif231. I picked up a cat on the way to work, and because of my allergies my eyes are

all itchy and swollen so I can't come

in.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif232. I have "thrush" a disease of the tongue so I won't be into work

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif233. That noise that I had described to you? Well it turns out that I have a family

of raccoons living in my wall. I have to wait for the exterminator so I won't be in to

work.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif234. I won't be making it in today because I have to meet with my child's

Teacher.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif235. I have to meet with my child's Guidance Counselor so I can't make it in

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif236. I have to meet with my child's Principal so I won't be in

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif237. I won't be in today because I have to meet with my child's Doctor, she's

having monthly

problems.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]238. I have to go to my GRAND Childs Graduation from Nursery, Pre-K,

Kindergarten, 6th grade, dancing,

gymnastics....

[/FONT][IMG]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[/IMG

]239. I have to take my Child, Mother, Grandparent, to the Doctor, Lawyer,

Dentist, Motor Vehicle Dept, Social Security Office,

shopping....

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[

FONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]240. I could not come to work because my truck would not turn

left.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif241. These are late excuses that I have used which are all true and my boss wrote

them down every day that I was late.

1. A big dog was blocking the road.
2. I was stuck driving slow behind a

backhoe.
3. I hate getting up in the morning.
4. I could not find my keys - they fell beside the bed.
5. I

couldn't get gas last night because I got a flat tire while Christmas shopping so I had to get gas this

morning.
6. I wanted to sleep as much as possible.
7. I hit every red light.
8. I had to find some stuff.


9. I hit a branch and it wedge in my

mirror.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif242. Sorry I won't be in today. My wife's going to get pregnant and I want to be

there.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif243. I was late today because I was reading late for work excuses on my computer and

couldn't shut it down until I was

finished.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]244. We had an employee come into work at 7:00 a.m., then had to leave the

jobsite at 9:45 because he shit his pants and would not be back into work that day. He quit the next day out of

embarrassment. (True

story)

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif245. Well, I can't come to work today because last night I was partying and I

screwed at least 35 people. So my body is pretty worn out. Maybe I will be there tomorrow, unless I do it again

tonight.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif246. Sorry, I can't come to work today because last night I was awakened by the

phone and some woman telling me my psychic's advisor's head just blew up and I should be

warned.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif247. True excuse: A woman in our office said a crow was attacking a baby rabbit in

her backyard so she would not be coming to work. She had to stay home to protect the bunny from the crow. Honest to

God, that is the excuse she

used!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif248. A teenaged guy called in for his girlfriend and told her supervisor that she

wouldn't be in to work that day because her vagina hurt and he had to take her to the doctor. True

story.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif249. True story: Someone left some batteries on my porch steps, my porch light light

was burnt out, slipped on them, twisted my ankle, and when I fell, broke two of my

fingers.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif250. I had to call in late as I was waiting for a taxi, my car had 2 flat tyres!

The little Italian fella in my block of flats thought I was in his car park!! He did not even have a car, so he

stuck a stake in the tyres, to teach me a

lesson.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif251. I cannot come in today as I have really bad stigmata and I think I may be a

likely candidate for the second

coming.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif252. I cant come in today as I have an interview for a job I really want and cannot

be bothered to lie, which shows you exactly how much I care about your stinking job anyway. (actually

used)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif253. I know its the third day I've called in sick, but seeing as you're being so

damn sympathetic on the telephone I may as well make a holiday out of it...SUCKER! (actually

thought)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif254. I cant come in today as I have to go to Mozambique to do some relief work. I

should have told you before that I work for the Red Cross relief in my spare time, but it didn't seem important at

the

time.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif255. I can't come in today because I've just realized I actually save money if I

stay at home. Apart from the bus fare, the prices in your canteen are outrageous and I always end up drinking at

lunchtime to cope with the depression of working for

you.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif256. I am in today, but I'm feeling a bit low profile after sleeping with the boss

yesterday, so don't be surprised if you don't see

me.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif257. My children are ill with the flu and I have to take them to the

doctor.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif258. I am the manager of a convenience store in a little town. We sell gas, grocery

items and have a kitchen. One of the shifts is from 4-11 pm. On a Friday night (most busiest), an employee didn't

show up or call in. His roommate, who also was an employee was called to find out where the missing employee was. He

was supposed to be there at 7pm. The roomie said that he had left at 6pm to come to work. I fired him the next day.

The next week I get a phone call at work from I'll call him Bill. He asked me if he was fired. I started laughing,

and confirmed it. He had told me that he had been in jail all week in a state that was was 3 or 4 states away. He

had the ticket to prove it, he just had gotten back and called. I told him to bring me in the ticket and we'd

discuss it. Ten minutes later I came running out of my office screaming, I had realized on the day he had pulled a

no call/no show that I had given him his paycheck only 7 hours earlier!!!! The other state was at least 6 hours

away. So he either didn't plan on coming to work or he thought that he would get back in time. I then found out 3

days later that he had in fact been in jail for two hours the following day. He must of forgot like I did that I had

given him his check, and I guess he had also forgot that he had to sign for his check. I haven't heard from him in

a

week.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif259. My favorite excuse came from one of our laborers who live in his van on our

construction site. When he didn't show up we spent the entire day knocking on his van door, calling his cell phone,

worried he might be laying in there dead. He showed up the next morning, and told me "the whores kept him up all

night and his knees hurt". Took me 3 weeks to find out our local police had a "sting" operating; he was watching

from a concrete

deck.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif260. I can't make it to work for the next couple of days , my leg's in Kentucky.

(He has an artificial

leg)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif261. After many years as a career consultant, I thought I had heard every excuse

possible from employment applicants who missed their job interviews. Until one day I heard the "mother" of excuses

for a missed appointment. I called an applicant and said, "Well, I just heard from the employer that you didn't

make your job interview today. What happened?" Here's the reply: "My mother fell down the elevator shaft."

True?

No idea. I couldn't bear to ask for

details.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif262. I worked as a corporate trainer for a large company for four years training

their new co-workers. This excuse was left on my voice mail from a co-worker in his FIRST week of work about three

hours after the class had started: I was out late last night and after the bars closed I came home and started to do

the homework you gave me (just filling out some order forms for practice). So in order to stay up, I took some

PILLS. Anyway I just woke up and I'm sorry I'm not going to be in

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif263. This is an actual excuse given on April 13, 2000 to go home early. After 1.5

hours at work an employee was pissed off and said he was going home because there was pidgins on his balcony and he

had to tell his landlord right now. Not only did the lead hand let him go, but the boss picked him up 2 blocks away,

talked to him and gave him a ride home. Now there's

intelligence.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif

264. I can't come to work today because I have the brown bottle flu.

(Actually used as an

excuse)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif265. I thought that I'd be more productive if I didn't come in

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif266. I'm going to be late today, my car battery died on the way to work and I had

to wait for someone to give my car a jump

start.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif267. This was an excuse actually used on board my ship when I was in the Navy.

"Sorry Chief, I was laying in my rack sound asleep and I was dreaming I was at home, well, I forgot I was in the

Navy."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif268. Can be used on January 8th any year...Call in to work and say you don't work

on the King's birthday. (The King being

Elvis)!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif269. Uh....Boss? Your not going to believe this, but the faucet on the side of the

well house broke and water ran down and puddled around the tires. As you know, it was below freezing last night, and

now my tires are frozen to the ground. And to make matters worse, my uncle punched a hole in the front driver side

tire with the ice pick he was using to help me get the truck loose. I'll be in as soon as I get the truck loose and

replace the

tire.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif270. I won't be in work today, I can't undo the knot in my

shoelaces.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FO

NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]271. I won't be coming in today, my fish has respiratory

problems.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]272. I can't come to work, someone put acid (LSD) in my drink as a joke. Now

I'm

tripping.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]273. IT snowed last night. Pow for

now!!!!!

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif274. A coworker of mine called in because her 27 year old married daughter, who is

a registered nurse, was sick & she had to take care of her. This same person also called in one time because her dog

had a sore leg & she had to take it to the

vet.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif275. I actually used this. There was a severe thunderstorm one night, and hundreds of

trees were knocked down. I headed to work the next morning, but kept having to turn around, no matter what road I

took. "Hi, this is so and so, I can't come in to work today because all the roads are blocked by trees. I guess if

I got a front loader and a chainsaw, I could move them out of the way. But by the time I did that, the shift would

be over. So I won't be coming

in.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif276. Sorry I was late but there was a power cut and we couldn't get the car out

because we have an electric garage door! It works and it's

true!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif277. I can't come in to work because I broke the key to my husbands car trying to

unlock the door...no spare key available!!!.(true

story)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif278. I once worked with someone who called in VERY frequently. Here are two of his

"gems". I can't come in today because: * I have a belly-button infection (and subsequent supposed same-day

surgery). * The dog jumped on me and got me all dirty, so I had to take a shower. While shampooing, I ran out of

water and had to rinse my hair with flavored club soda, and now I'm all sticky and my hair looks too bad to come to

work.



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif279. I will not be in today because my power is cut off, I have no gas in my car and my

telephone is cut off and my wife bounced $700 worth of bad

checks.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif280. I will not be into work today because all my clothes were stolen off my cloths

line.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif281. True story. A Registered Nurse working as our Staff Development Trainer went

home early two different days, called in sick four days and was late to work three days because she had the

"hiccups". Actually happened and she got paid for it because she was

salaried.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]282. I know I was supposed to be at work at 5pm, but I got out of school at 4 and

by the time I showered, ate and went to visit my friend who is in the hospital it was 7pm. This was the excuse given

by a boy who's mother works in our company home office in Arkansas.



[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif283. I'm sorry I won't be in today. I have to rescue my friends and save the world

(again).

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif284. I can't come to work today. My car's airbag deployed while I was driving. I

think it was because I was going about 85 and abruptly hit a speed bump. there fore, I am semi paralyzed but the

doctor said I should be better in a week or

two.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif285. Ok, this is really bad but I swear this is true. I was working when the girl who

was already late for work called in saying she was going to be late. She had overslept, not feeling too well and

asked if I could handle things on my own for a couple hours. About two hours later, she called in again and said

she's not going to be able to make it till later this afternoon. Her excuse was that she had been at a party the

night before and had too much to drink, so her boyfriend drove her home and now she doesn't know what he did with

the car

keys.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif286. I won't be in to work today because my brother Ryan, my cousin Cam, and my best

friend Lisa were all arrested yesterday and I have to go see a lawyer and take them some items to the jail.



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif287. This one is true: I was asleep many years ago when my phone rang at 6 in the morning.

I answered it and someone that sounded familiar to me. But half asleep I could not recognize the voice. They said to

me, "I will not be in to work today. On my way in I got into a car accident and am in the emergency room hurt pretty

badly". I was very confused as I did not have any employees, and I was a teenager at the time. So after I told them

this, I hung up and thought about it for awhile and realized the voice was one of my family members. She sounded

very ill so I went and woke my mom. We called and got her mom out of bed who also was worried. We found her in her

bed asleep. After checking all the local emergency rooms we later found out she was drunk and had accident and

dialed my

number.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif288. One of my co-workers calls in with this excuse pretty often and gets away with

it. She tells whoever happens to answer the phone to tell our boss that she wont be in today, because she is having

a "dark day" and tell the boss not to bother calling because she is taking the phone off of the hook, closing the

blinds and locking the door. She's gonna be in trouble if we ever change

managers.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]289. I really don't ever call off of work. But the old, I was coughing so hard

my chest muscles hurt, so I took Nyquil at 4 am and slept till 2 in the afternoon is a good one. That really

happened to me. And once, I didn't show up or call off, and when my boss called, I told her that I think I had shot

my boys father, because I couldn't find the bullet hole in my walls or furniture, so I must have got him. (True

Story)

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif290. I cant make it in to work today because I have the Hershey

squirts...lol

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif

291. As summer approached several workers in the office took days off to

attend graduations for their family members...one guy (who had no kids or grandkids) also took a day off for a

graduation. When asked who was graduating he answered , with a straight face, My dog is graduating from obedience

school, and I have to be

there!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif292. TRUE excuse used by me in the past year. 1) My ride had a flat tire coming to

pick me up from work and on the way home we got another flat. So we had to call for a ride because we had 2 flat

tires. All the tire places were closed by the time we got a ride and so we have to replace the tire, get a ride to

the car, and change the other flat tire and then get it fixed. 2) 6 months later... remember when we had 2 flat

tires, well, we never got a new spare and now I have another flat tire and need to get it fixed. I ended up buying 6

new tires within 8 months due to punctures from gravel...



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif293. True story: Sorry I am late. My alarm went off and I hit the snooze and when I woke up

(a couple hours later) I was cradling my alarm in my arms. This really happened twice! I ended up buying a different

clock and putting it across the room. Fortunately I am the type of worker who always shows up early and works late

so no one did anything other than tease

me...

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif294. I was late because my dog died and I had to wait for the S.P.C.A. to pick her

up.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif295. My car has a flat tire....The employee lived 3 houses down from work....she

thought a manager from another store was working that

day.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif296. I was working shift work and we would do a set of days, a set off and then a set

of nights; well on the first day of a day set one of the employees did not show up so we called him and he said he

forgot we were working days. Another time when he was late for a night shift we called him and he told us he over

slept. Well the boss thought that was impossible and was making fun of this guy till the next night the boss

overslept for the night

shift.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif297. I have a cold and don't think it best to spread my germs around. (with a fake

cough and a sneeze and a sound of gagging, as in throwing up)



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif298. One year, a few days before Christmas, a girl I worked with called in to say that she

couldn't come in to work because her grandpa got run over by a Greyhound bus. Playing on the radio at the time was

"Grandma Got Run Over By a

Reindeer."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FO

NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]299. I am behind in child support payments and X wife can not afford baby sitter

today. So I must stay home and take care of my kid, and it worked better than I thought it

would.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif300. This one guy I worked with, who had over 30 years on the job, used to drink a

bit and he used to call in with some novel excuse. One time he used this one:.."I can't come in to work today

because the Martians landed in my back yard and I got radiation poisoning.." This guy even called in sick AFTER he

retired. Another guy I worked with called in one time with Zambeesey (Zam-bee-see) crotch

rot.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif301. I actually had a girl call in that she could not come in to work because she had

to stay home and help shell

peas!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif302. We can't come to work because our house has gotten

dirty.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif303. Not one, but two of my employees called in and said that they had been out near

the river fishing, and that they had been sprayed by a skunk, and that they would not be in. But the only problem

was that another employee saw them both exiting a bar less than two hours

later.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif304. I was a supervisor for a fast food restaurant in the Chicago area and received

a call from one of my "managers" at 2:00 AM one night informing me he would not be in for his shift at 9:00 AM the

next morning "because he was in the hospital in a

coma."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif305. My cousin had worked in a nursing home for many years in the same one I worked

in and one night he decided to skip. We do have bad weather in Maine but he called up to say that he could get to

work because there was a tree a crossed the road. There sure was. Still standing a crossed the road but not in the

road.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif306. I can't come in today. When I got home from work yesterday, I received bad news

of the death of a family member. To get over the shock I went to this bar downtown, and had a little to much to

drink. I took a taxi at the end of the evening, feeling quiet intoxicated, with an upset stomach. I told the taxi

driver that I had gas pains and he brought me to the greyhound station and put me on the bus to Gasbai. I am a

little low on cash so I'm not sure when I will be

in.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif307. I was not able to report to work, newspaper delivery agent, on a rainy Friday

morning because, a man drove his car into my living

room.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif308. I once used this excuse not to go to work one day because it had snowed: I

can't come in today because I left my boots at work. My boss had a great laugh that

day!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif309. My kitten was underfoot all the time. When getting ready to leave the house for

work I stepped on something. Thinking it was my kitten I tried to immediately back up. Unknowingly my kitty had been

playing in a bag of potatoes & I happened to be there to step on one. When I tried to get my foot off (my kitty) I

slipped & fell down twisting my ankly & called work from the hospital. "I can't work today because I slipped on a

potato & sprained my ankle." Stupid story, but true. Was on crutches for 2

weeks.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif310. I won't be in because:

I have to take my dog to the vet.

My cat fell

asleep on my keys and I didn't want to wake her up.

I have a class to go to.

I have a job interview.

My

other boss needs me and the pay is better there anyway.

I have to bury my pet canary that just died.

The

plumber was

late.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif311. "Sorry Sir I can't come in to work today. I have a roach in my ear and I have

to go to the hospital to have it removed." While waiting at the hospital a woman came in with a roach in her ear.

After removing the bug she asked the Doctor for an excuse for her boss at work. After a few questions we found out

she had put the roach in her ear and used a Q-Tip to push it in to get out of work. This is a true

story!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif312. The reason I didn't come to work is that I spilled coffee on my dress, so I

went to the closet and no other ties matched. So I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. So, I ran

home because my car broke down, and all my clothes were at the dry cleaner. I ran back to the mall (I was very

pooped out), and I found an outfit and bought it. I brought it home and it didn't fit. Realizing that it wouldn't

be smart to go to work naked, I stayed

home.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif313. My Ex used to tell me this all the time. "Call Work and tell them I can't come

in cause I slammed my balls in the dresser

drawer."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif314. I don't know if I'll be able to make it in today. The hamster is loose in

the house somewhere and if I don't find it and put it back in it's cage before I leave, the cat will get it and

the kids will be

broken-hearted.

[IMG]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[/IM

G]315. I wont be in work today because yesterday I threw out my knee and took

my friend's medication for the pain. I had an allergic reaction to it and my entire body is broken out in hives,

itches all over and my ears have swollen shut. So if you need me, I can be reached on my cellular because the volume

is much

louder.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif316. My son really used this for being late. His shoe string broke. My sister

worked with him and it was a big laugh. So all the employees after that used that excuse anytime they were

late.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif317. This was a fellow nurses' excuse for being 1 1/2 hr late for work. " The guinea

pig that we've got that had cerebral palsy, died this morning and we had to bury it and have a funeral for the

kids." We all still laugh about that six years

later.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif318. We live very close to Canada. One Saturday we went to Montreal for dinner. On

the way back across the border I realized I had left my driver's license at home. The border patrol would not let

me back into New York, so my fiancé had to leave me at a hotel while he drove the 3 hours back to our house and

another 3 hours back to pick me up at the hotel. (True Story!! ) I was supposed to be at work on Sunday, called the

boss and he believed

me.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif319. The street I live in is flooded due to the heavy rains and blocked drains not

coping with the run off from high ground; the water level is too high for me to drive or walk through to make it to

work.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif320. Johnny was absent to work on Monday the 15th because it took him longer in the

whore house than he thought it

would.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif321. I can't come to work today, I was brushing my dentures and dropped them on the

floor and they broke in half. (actually happened to

me)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif322. This one really happened to me, and it work's. I took my car to an automatic car

wash. During the night the door lock's froze, so Ill be unable to make it to work

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif323. I can't come in to work today. I went skydiving over the weekend and my chute

didn't open.



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif324. Once on my way to a crappy convenience store job, my car caught on fire! (TRUE!) When

I called in to tell them I could not make it in, they offered to come and pick me up and bring me into work, and I

could get my car later! I ended up quitting that

job!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif325. I was late for work one day because I had let our dog out in the morning while

preparing for work, and when I went to let her in, she had shredded the garbage all over our lawn, and in our

neighborhood, you cannot leave that or you are fined. Imagine the laughter I faced from my coworkers when I made it

to work that

day!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif326. I had to call in sick one day because my husband accidentally slammed our cat in

the door on his way to work, and she had taken off so I had to find her to bring her to the vet! (She was

fine!)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif327. This is a true story! While attending college, I was also working 2 jobs, one

late at night and one on the days I did not have school. Needless to say I was VERY tired, and one morning when I

was supposed to work, I overslept. For some reason, though, I knew that I should have been at work because when the

boss called, I could not figure out why, you see, I had dreamed that I had called her and told her I was sick! She

laughed, and I got a stern lecture, but I was not fired. TRUE

STORY!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif328. A pregnant woman: "I can't come to work the rest of the day. I have morning

sickness. Maybe it will last the rest of the

week!!"

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif329. Reason for not going to work. I have lost my American Express Card and I

cannot leave home without

it.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif330. I didn't want to go to work for my afternoon shift and it had been raining. My

car had been in the shop for a few days and I had been using my friends brand new car. I called and said that I had

been on the way to take that friend to his job but on the way I got in an accident and ran into a ditch. Not only

that, my friend was also carrying a vial of LSD and it spilled on us when we were in the accident I was now feeling

funny and my friend was tripping so neither one of us could go to work. My manager believed this cuz I was supposed

to give him some when I got to

work!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif331. I can't come to work today, the house across the street from me was on fire

and now I can't take a shower cause the water is all dirty. This one is actually true, my neighbor and I both work

at the same job, we both called off that day! It helps if the fire is on the news

though...lol

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[

FONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]332. I'm sorry I came to work late. I would have been on time, but I picked

up a hitch-hiker on the way and he didn't want to be dropped off in the middle of the city (Richmond, VA), so I had

to drive way out of my way to leave him at a truck stop. [The supervisor cracked up and asked me if I was SURE I

wanted that excuse to go on the record -- but it was

true!!]

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif333. I had to apologize for coming back from my lunch break an hour late because I

wasn't used to that part of the city and I got totally lost trying to come back from the Taco Bell when I had to

detour around some St. Patrick's Day parade. When asked why I didn't consult a map, I had to admit that mine had

holes on all the creases, which blotted out the street where my job was located. Well, jeez, things like this

wouldn't happen if they didn't make me work

holidays.......

[IMG]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[/IM

G]334. I won't be coming into work today, there is a cat in my drive way and

I can't get the car out of the

garage.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif335. I'll be late today, I'm spending a "quality" breakfast with my

children.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]336. I won't be in today, I have a flat tire. (it was the 5th flat that

month)

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif337. Sorry, but the electricity has been out since 4:00 this morning and I can't

blow dry my

hair.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif338. Sorry I'm late, but I hit a mud puddle and I had to wait until the car wash

opened.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif339. To the equestrian lover in all of us, this unfortunately, REALLY happened to

me: "Hello 'boss', I have to take a sick day today, a horse stepped on my foot last night; its numb, is as big as

a balloon, I can't get ANY shoes on, and I have to go get an x-ray to see if its broken!" (I've never lived this

one

down)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif340. I can't come to work today because my father is dying on

Friday.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif341. I can't come to work today because my father did not die on Friday, he's

waiting until

Monday.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif342. I was a Lieutenant in the navy and I had a Chief Petty Officer that was an

exceptional leader, but like the bottle. He used to call in and tell me that he had had a tooth removed and would

not be in the following day. four years later he sobered up. As his six months of came he evidently began to feel

some guilt for all of the dental visits. He came to my office and apologized, and explained that he was an

alcoholic. I responded with: I was glad to hear that he was an alcoholic, because I had never heard of anyone with

71 teeth. (TRUE

STORY)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif343. I work at a grocery store, one of my employees called in on Super Bowl Sunday

and said, "I accidentally drank a six pack, and don't want to drive to work" Of course, I let her take the day off.

I would have felt guilty to be part of yet ANOTHER

accident.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]344. I am sorry I can't come to work anymore. My psychic told me this job

sucks.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif345. This excuse was really used by a co-worker. He called in he said he was calling

to see if we were busy. While I was on the phone with him he said "Whoa did you hear that?" I said what. He said,

"Lightning just came through the phone and knocked me across the living room into a pile of beer bottles! I guess I

won't be in today." This was on a sunny day and he had no burn marks on his ear and the phone kept

working.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif346. When I used to do shift work I was constantly late. So my boss was fed up and

said if you are ever late again just don't bother turning up for work. (that was an idol threat) The next day was a

Friday and I was at a party the night before and I ended up sleeping in. So I didn't ring or didn't even bother

turning up for work. My next roster day was a Sunday and I didn't show up then either. Sunday afternoon I got a

phone call from my boss asking me where I was and I told him that I thought I was fired. To the amusement of my

workmates I started back on Monday morning with no problems and a nice long weekend behind me.

:-)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif347. I can't come in to work today cause while I was washing the dishes I cut my

finger and when I bent down to get a Band-Aid out of the cabinet I wrenched my back, fell twisted my ankle and

busted my

lip.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif348. A fellow worker got married and took a week off for his honeymoon and was due in

on a Sunday night, He didn't show up until Tuesday saying he was at the airport getting ready to leave Saturday

night and his plane got a flat. Also a few months ago after talking all week about trying to find a way to bring a

TV into work to watch the super bowl. No Call No Show on the night of the super bowl that it had snowed so bad he

couldn't make it to work. Even though he had a 4X4 and I made it to work twice as far away with a 84 Trans

Am.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif349. Sorry but I cant make it in today because I just don't FEEL like

it!!!!!!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif350. I ran into a cactus and had to go under extensive surgery to remove all the

thorns so I couldn't make it

in.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif351. I lost my keys so I can't come to

work.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif352. I woke up late, and I broke the lens of my glasses, so I won't be coming into

work.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif353. I'm hung over...

again!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif354. Here's one a girl where I work used a FEW times in one month, "I have bad

cramps.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif356. I was working for a casino on the graveyard shift in the coin room and Albert

didn't show up for work and wouldn't answer the phone. The next day the boss asked him why he didn't come in or

call into work? Albert's reply...."My eyes wouldn't open." True story. The boss had never heard that excuse and

laughed so hard that he didn't reprimand

him.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif357. I was on the way to work, feeling a little run-down, when all off a sudden, I

sneezed with my eye's open trying to watch the car in front. Instead, I could see the apple crumble & custard on my

shirt I had last night, after tea. Got rushed to Hospital, where they placed my eyes back into their sockets, then

sent me home in a Taxi wearing patches. I will be off for 4 weeks at least, my mum will send in the sick note when

I'm able to see

her.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif358. We have a guy that any vacation time just burns a hole in his pocket. We have a

list of 130 reason he has used. Some of them are:

Ants in his house.

I am having my house painted by members

of my church and I have to watch the paint dry.

I just bought a new bed and have to try it out.

Kid had a bomb

at school.

Kid had a bodily discharge.

Not that kind of time off.

Someone coughed on him and made him

sick.

Taking his mother-in-law on a picnic.

Had a bill to

pay.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif359. We have a guy that every year uses up 4 weeks vacation before May. Earlier this

year he used a week up because his foot had a rash and he couldn't wear

socks.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif360. We had just gone through the hiring process and had hired this new employee.

She called in on her second day and said that she wouldn't be able to work here due to the seating arrangements.

(We work in cubicles). Thinking that there was more to the story than this, we asked our boss later that afternoon

after she had actually spoken with this person. She really couldn't handle the cubicle, even when she was offered a

different one. Trouble is, she was given a tour of the office prior to accepting the job !(TRUE

STORY!!)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif361. This really happened to me. On the way to work, a drive of 40 miles, the

front driver side wheel came off my truck. Even though I was doing 70 m.p.h. I was able to maintain control. I

managed to get side of the road. A small flat spot was rubbed into the rotor. I could not find my wheel and my spare

was flat. I hitched a ride to the nearest town, couldn't find # to call in to work. no garages were open and I was

worried about my tools and CD's left in the truck. Walking the several miles back on the opposite side of the four

lane interstate I found my wheel. Two of the lugs were still in the hubcap. I jacked up the truck, used a file to

smooth the rough edges off the rotor, stole one lug from each of the other wheels, and went on into work three hours

late. I don't think my boss believed

me.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif362. 'Sorry I can't come in for work today, I can't find my glasses and therefore I

can't see. I need them in order to find

them!'

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif363. I thought Columbus Day was a work

holiday.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif364. True story: "I can't get my car out of the parking area because I think one

of my neighbors put glue in the lock on our gate and it won't open." I used to live in a 4-plex building where only

half the tenants were allowed to park in a gated, locked area. I was among the lucky ones. One morning I came out to

go to work and found the padlock on the gate had been sabotaged by being filled with some sort of glue, which I

believe was done by a neighbor, jealous because he couldn't park in there too. It took over an hour to get the gate

open, even an electric hacksaw wouldn't cut through the lock and we ended up having to cut part of the metal

supporting the holes the lock went through to open the gate. That lock is probably still hanging there today! My

boss bought the story and even

empathized.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[F

ONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]365. True story but I'm sorry I asked: one of my co-workers told me she was

late because "My car is in the shop and my boyfriend was taking me to work this morning. He was sick and we stopped

at a McDonalds. I had to wait there for an hour while he was sick in the

bathroom!"

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FO

NT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]366. Diarrhea, no questions asked, never

fails!

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif367. I can't come in to work today because I can't

pee.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif368. Ok, here's the deal, I got home around 10:30pm and decided to sleep early for

work the next morning, at around 2:00am I woke up [sleepwalking and naked as usual] and drank a whole gallon of

orange juice and to my dismay I could not urinate, I tried everything mediation, shower, running water and even some

other highly unusual methods which should remain nameless and I stayed up near the toilet until 5:47am, the sun was

up and I had to be in at work by 9:00am, I called up and gave them no reason, but the next day I explained myself

fully and this is the reason why I am I writing this to you, my friend Nicole thought it would be a worthy excuse

for your

site!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif369. The first time this was used by myself it was genuine. The latter times, I used

it because I thought it was a cool excuse: "Sorry, we put the clocks forward instead of back last night, and I woke

up two hours

late."

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif370. I won't be into work tomorrow... I took apart my carburetor and can't get it

back

together.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]371. I left work during lunch and decided to take the rest of the day off. I

called in at the end of the day to say that I had been arrested, and I'll be in

tomorrow.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]372. I'm running three hours late because I woke up watching the west coast feed

of NBC... I thought I woke up extra early!



[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif373. I thought it was 6am, but it turned out to be 8am... one of the LED lights was

out!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif374. I woke up extra late... it was my first time experiencing sleeping pills.



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif375. Some neighborhood prankster chained my car to a

tree.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif376. I knocked over my neighbor's mailbox. I'm scared of my neighbor. I need to

stay home and fix it

somehow.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif377. I was absent yesterday because I was passing a kidney stone, and I didn't

give a squat about calling in to work. (great pain, pee was purple {yellow and red make purple}, took some muscle

relaxants...)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif

378. I ate a bag of those fake-fat potato chips, and now something is oozing

from my butt.



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif379. I hurt myself having sex this morning... I won't be in until the pain goes

away.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif380. I can't come to work today because I am getting

mono.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif381. Hello, I am writing this one because I called in sick today. Sorry, I can't

come to work today because I think I am pregnant and I have to wait until my boyfriend gets off work so we will have

money to go get a pregnancy test. And one that my mom used when she got married for the third time...Sorry, I am

going to have to quit working for a while, I am going to Mexico to marry my boyfriend and we aren't going to be

back until after we finish building our house...Loves ya,

Rainey70

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif382. We had a contractor working for us once who lived quite a distance away (for

the UK!) and was usually late in because of traffic problems. However, one day he phoned in at about 11:00 AM to

tell us that he would not be in at all because his only pair of trousers were in the washing machine and it would

not

open!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif383. I am sorry I was late for work today, I would have been in earlier but I was

asleep.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif384. I am going to call in work today for the next 2 days. Excuse: My uncle came

down from Baltimore yesterday, and my mom and sister got into a huge argument, my sister decided she's going back

to live with my Uncle, and they are leaving today. I have to follow behind them in my car with the rest of her

things. Since it's such a long drive, I am just going to stay the night to avoid the risk of an

accident.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[FON

T=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]385. When I was eighteen (I'm 43 now and don't drink anymore), I had to work

the graveyard shift. I was at my favorite night club and half smashed. I called my job, from the club, loud music

and all, and told my boss I wouldn't be in that night because I was sick. Believe it or not, I didn't get

fired.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif386. 386. I can't come in because my boiler is broken and I can't shower and my

stink is starting to offend even me so I won't make you all repulsed...I'll stay at home

today.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif387. I'm not late, your just

early!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif388. This is, sadly, a true story: I was a delivery driver in Charlotte, North

Carolina. I lived about 17 miles from the store I worked at and I had several cats as pets. Well, I was running real

close, if I drove really fast I could've made it there on time. Well, I got about a half mile from the store when I

heard a howl coming from the back of my mustang. I pulled over and looked and I'll be damned, the stupid cat had

fallen asleep in the hatchback of my car (in the sun) So I had to drive all the way back home to bring the cat back

to the house. I was almost 2 hours late, because I was supposed to be to work for 4:30 and now I hit rush hour

traffic and it took me an hour to fight traffic to the office. My boss just looked at me and shook his

head.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif389. True story: I was working as a delivery driver (me again, I used a million

there), and I was at work when my boyfriend called me and proposed to me. I said yes, of course, and he asked me to

elope with him the next day. I turned around, looked at my boss and said," I won't be coming in to work tomorrow,

or the rest of the week, as I will be getting married and going on my honeymoon" I actually had to bring him the

marriage certificate after the wedding before he would let me have the weekend off without being fired!!!!

LOL.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif390. I will not be to work today as I have a headache and do not want to give it to

anyone

else.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif391. I'm sorry I was late. The dog shit on the stairs. 'why did this make you

late?' Have you ever had dog shit between your toes at 5 am in the morning?



http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif392. I'm sorry I'm late. Someone stole my

windscreen.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[F

ONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]393. I worked at a treat store, popcorn and other treats, and I had a horrible

sore throat. I called off work and my boyfriend asked me to go to the beach. We did and who do I see but the manager

of the store....oops....I really was sick! I just wanted to kick back at the beach. (true

story)

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif394. I called off work due to getting prescribed a new medicine and it made me very

groggy (true story)...I got teased about that but it was

true.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif395. I called off work, my husband has used this too, because I had to run to the

hospital. My husband's daughter was having a bad diabetic reaction. This really did happen, but I've used it more

than once...it works great...no questions

asked)

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif396. My husband and I were having a rough time financially and we couldn't afford to

pay our car insurance. Our lender that we bought the vehicle from got wind of it and took our van until we got

coverage. I had to call off work and didn't want to face the embarrassment so I said my husband's daughter is in

the hospital and we've got to

run.

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif397. My husband and I went to the Twin Cities to pick up a friend of ours that was

flying in from Texas. His flight was late and it was very very late by the time it came in. I was supposed to work

the next afternoon and we were all exhausted and we were about 3.5 hours from home. I called in to say our van's

computer "brain" went out and we have to wait to have it repaired. It worked like a charm, no questions asked. This

one is excellent if you're nowhere near home, just make sure you own a newer vehicle that has computer

components!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif[F

ONT=Courier New, Georgia, Helvetica]398. My husband had to go to court and it was a rough time. His ex was there and

it was a trying ordeal. Instead of busting my ass and running into work I said my husband fell down the stairs and I

had to take him to the doctor. He already has a broken hip he's recovering from so it worked like a charm, no

questions

asked.

[/FONT]http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif399. I once lived in a rough neighborhood in Southern Cal. I went to get into my car

and the window was smashed out and my front wheels were GONE! Not just tires but the whole wheels were gone and my

cheap stereo was ripped out of the dash. I had to call into work and tell them what happened. (true story) The cops

came and did a report and said that I should move, also true, I

did!

http://members.tripod.com/Madtbone/_themes/copy-of-tabs-and-folders-1/tabbul1.gif400. I would love to use this one....I can't come in right now because my husband is

having his annual erection and I don't want to miss it.....lol!