Mones on TV Yesterday

[InvisibleEdge]

Did anyone

see "How to Get the Guy" on ABC last night at 10pm? There's 4 girls and there each dating 2 guys each. So at one

point in the show there asked to smell the T-shirt of the 2 guys and pick which scent is more attractive. The

interesting thing was that without knowing which t-shirt was which guys they all ended up picking the scent of the

guy of the two that they were already more into. Like the guy they had the most chemistry with already is the

T-shirt they ended up picking.

PS: The guys were asked to give a t-shirt that they slept in for two nights in

row.

The two dating coaches also mentioned that guys are most turned on by the scent of oranges and donuts. And

women are most turned on by a combination of cucumber scents and good and plenty candy together but turned off by

the smell of cherries.

Here's the website:



http://abc.go.com/primetime/howtogetth

eguy/episodes/2006-2007/4.html (http://abc.go.com/primetime/howtogettheguy/episodes/2006-2007/4.html)

[Rashkae]

There was a special on this on

Discovery as well. Has to do with the disease markers. Apparently, women can smell what diseases we're resistant

too. If they are the resistances that the women DON'T have, then they find the smell of the shirt very

attractive.

[nfs]

That totally reminds me of " Species

2 " the movie , staring natasha hensridge.

She's like this alien chick who's to die for..and this guy who's

pretty good looking goes up to her and she's getting all hot and stuff..but then she sniffs him and senses that

he's got a gene that is prone to disease or something... and she totally loses interest right away.

[Lor]

There was a special

on this on Discovery as well. Has to do with the disease markers. Apparently, women can smell what diseases we're

resistant too. If they are the resistances that the women DON'T have, then they find the smell of the shirt very

attractive.
i saw it too. and it makes sense out of why i would be attracted to someone who didnt interest

me intellectually.:frustrate

[Rashkae]

i saw it too. and it

makes sense out of why i would be attracted to someone who didnt interest me

intellectually.:frustrate

Yup. Healthy children take precedence over smarts. ;)

God gave men 2

brains, and only enough blood to use one at a time...

[nfs]

Hey Lor,

I have a question for

you .

I have a belief that attraction is based on 70% looks and 30%personality/character for guys ...

and for

chicks it's the oppsite.. 70% personality /interllect and 30% looks.

Basically I think guys are very visual

creatures whereas girls are more emotional than visual, and they're also more sensitive emotionally and in the

senses ..ie smell, touch, hearing...

I'd like your female opinion on this one.

Cheers,

NFS

[Lor]

Hey Lor,

I have a

question for you .

I have a belief that attraction is based on 70% looks and 30%personality/character for guys

...

and for chicks it's the oppsite.. 70% personality /interllect and 30% looks.

Basically I think guys are

very visual creatures whereas girls are more emotional than visual, and they're also more sensitive emotionally and

in the senses ..ie smell, touch, hearing...

I'd like your female opinion on this one.

Cheers,



NFS
mostly i agree with everything you said. i also think its an attraction-based universe in the way

that there are alot more factors to consider (where you "resonate" for lack of better words) .
i can see how

everyone would have their own idea of what each gender is looking for, and they would all be right,lol. i might

think im checking you out, but what im gleaning from your appearance is your personality. it all intermingles. maybe

personality is all of it...100%.... and how it manifests in outward appearance and what we choose to know (intellect

is relative to what we find important) are details.:drunk: NFS what do you think you are looking for when you are

checking someone out? be honest. this is an intersting topic.

[nfs]

hmmm looks like we've hit the grey

area of question then Lor. Maybe this question can never be answered... maybe the 30% -70% rule is just a figment of

my over-active imagination. :frustrate


To answer your question honestly...what attracts me when I look at a

female. First thing that catches my eye, lean physique, long legs ( I'm a real leg guy ), and F.M.B's - F*ck Me

Boots. Yeah... u know the ones I'm talking bout, any of you guys out there agree on this one ? Say " aye " !



I've noticed my sense of pheripheral vision heighten incredibly when say... a chick with a shirt skirt showing

some leg enters my vicinity. I can't help but stare and give her some DIHL. I guess that's the effect that girls

have when they sniff some -none on alot of guys on this forum.

After I get get past the DIHL, I'd proceed to

check her face out.

Without speaking for other men, I must say that we are highly visual when it comes to women.

:) I think it's built into our DNA.. that's why women spend so much effort/time/money into looking beautiful.

They don't realise why they have such a great desire to look beautiful.. for men. I can keep posting further about

this topic which I have a huge interest in, but I'd better stop.

I hope no females take offense here. I'm just

posting my theories on male-female behaviour and trying to disect the whole thing.

Does that answer your question

LOR?

Regards,

NFS

[Lor]

absolutely, and the reason i asked

is this:
women are vain in this reguard- we are not always trying to look beautiful for men! otherwise, we would

define what is the most common turn-on and all look the same. even hollywood tries to follow the fads,but they cant

help but eventually show their true personalities. we sometimes dress for eachother, the way ,say, men play sports.

its competition, but your not playing your best game because you hope a girl happens to be watching.
one of my

biggest facinations with 'mones is the changing of perception. i happen to be 5'1". i wouldnt be caught dead with

CFM boots,lol. nor do i have anything to put in them ,lol. if that (using as an example) was the standard of beauty,

id be dead in the water. what 'mones offer in this situation is a change in the attitude of the perciever- AND that

of the wearer. although it may not be probable, it is POSSIBLE that the 'mones i am wearing cause an override of

what you thought was sexy in a woman- like alcahol. im a bartender. by last call, im a 6' blond amazon that :whip:

wants only them, LOL. same goes for men. i might be attracted to an alpha-male, maybe a bad-boy, and your not it.

but wear some strong 'mones and suddenly your dangerous...woohoo.... see what i mean? your not going to see FMB in

the grocerystore everyday... and your not always going to SEE someone before you smell someone,lol. murphy's

law...argue it and it will happen :LOL:

[InvisibleEdge]

To answer

your question honestly...what attracts me when I look at a female. First thing that catches my eye, lean physique,

long legs ( I'm a real leg guy ), and F.M.B's - F*ck Me Boots. Yeah... u know the ones I'm talking bout, any of

you guys out there agree on this one ? Say " aye " !

I hope no females take offense here. I'm just posting my

theories on male-female behaviour and trying to disect the whole thing.

Regards,

NFS

Word up.

Plus I love a pretty face, round butt with a slim waist. And if she has dimples when she smiles, Oh my God!:wub:

[belgareth]

I always watch for the way she

moves. Some women, even small and petite ones, can clump around while a larger one sometimes moves with an

incredible grace. After that a woman's eyes are the first thing that appeal to me. I've dated and been attracted

to women of all sorts and sizes but they have always had happy, sparkling eyes. Once I get past that there has to be

intelligence, free will, wit and, more important than all the rest, individuality.

Reasonable looks, takes care

of herself and such all figure in there too. I rarely notice clothing unless it is either spectacular or absurd.

[nfs]

Ok ..well pointed out

LOR.

Perhaps there are 2 types of dress codes in women. When they dress sexy, well u know what they're

trying to do right? And when they dress to fit.. It's probably giving them more confidence in themselves.



With guys, say we play sport and we dress in sports gear, it's so that we don't get our good clothes dirty

:) We may dress in branded sporting gear but that I reckon is just so that it improves our aerodynamics in the game

:) You should watch me play ball when I'm wearing my Air Jordans. I actually get 2 more seconds of air time...now

lets see you ladies do that in high heels hehehehehee :rofl:

Ok now on a serious note, how bout you LOR? To

you personally, what are the first things you notice in an attractive guy. Whatever comes to your mind, put it down

here.

NFS

[platinumfox]

The two dating coaches also mentioned that guys are most turned on by the scent of oranges and donuts. And

women are most turned on by a combination of cucumber scents and good and plenty candy together but turned off by

the smell of cherries.

Here's the website:



http://abc.go.com/primetime/howtoget

theguy/episodes/2006-2007/4.html (http://abc.go.com/primetime/howtogettheguy/episodes/2006-2007/4.html)LOL!The foods are sexually subliminal.You have woman craving a

cucumber which resembles a male penis which is probably perfect size."Good and plenty" describes the man's sexual

technique that the female desires or unless they crave a smaller penis?


For the men a donut resembles a

vagina its the "hole thing"When I eat an orange its like giving oral to a woman you try your best to get "that

juice"

I'm assuming the heterosexual women were turned off by "cherry" but I bet a lesbian would be the

opposite

[InvisibleEdge]

LOL!The foods are sexually subliminal.You have woman craving a cucumber which resembles a male

penis which is probably perfect size."Good and plenty" describes the man's sexual technique that the female desires

or unless they crave a smaller penis?


For the men a donut resembles a vagina its the "hole thing"When I eat

an orange its like giving oral to a woman you try your best to get "that juice"

I'm assuming the heterosexual

women were turned off by "cherry" but I bet a lesbian would be the opposite

Really insightful metaphors!

Makes sense or should I scents.:thumbsup:

[Lor]

Ok now on a

serious note, how bout you LOR? To you personally, what are the first things you notice in an attractive guy.

Whatever comes to your mind, put it down here.

NFS
its always the package deal. its never a quality-

eyes, clothes,age,ect. its always the charisma that pours out. sometimes its ballsy humor of an adam

sandler:lovestruc ; sometimes its the boyishness of a jesse james:nono: ;sometimes its the unspoken command of a

patrick stewart:box: ..... some men just reek (yes, i said reek) of charisma. i dont think there is a common thread

between those three, i only used celebrity to distinguish traits. now, its true i havent smelled any of them to know

that it was their pheromones, so in effect its visual,right? but to pick out something visually similar? got to be

the personality, the package. maybe confidence. got to be it. ::sigh:: :wub: now im crushing.....

[nfs]

WARP 10, ENGAGE! *

WhooooossSSHHH!*

LOL Patrick Stewart! I thought I was his only fan. Coz i'm a real Trekkie and all. Well used to

be. He makes an awesome Prof. X as well ... Too bad he got annihilated in X3. But did you guys see the ending of

that film? He went into the body of the coma guy. :think:


Ok enough of him. Moving along.

I found that

your statement holds true to my findings too. If the girl wasn't drop dead hot, then these other factors kick in.

Really cute smile, cheeky eyes,..friendly/funny personality, sweet, bitchy ( yeh that brings out the animal in me )

etc etc.

I've recently fallen for a female friend of mine since knowing her for 9 months. She never struck me as

attractive when I first met her. SHe's on the skinny side, shortish hair..but charming face and a big smile. After

hanging out with her for a while , now I just can't get her out of my mind.. It's like torture. I can't tell her

how I feel either, because I have a n intuition that she has put me only in the " friends zone " and I'm trapped

there.

Here's where I'm hoping mones would help turn the tide.

Gosh I hate it when

charm/charisma/personality kick in. That's when you really fall for someone and it makes them even harder to

forget.....

NFS

[Rashkae]

I think the next big hit on the

phero market would be to figure out exactly what these "disease markers" are, then create a product which has ALL of

them in it... Making you smell like you've got the genetics of a god. Now THAT should get the attention of the

opposite sex... and it would be unisex too!

[Lor]

I think the next big

hit on the phero market would be to figure out exactly what these "disease markers" are, then create a product which

has ALL of them in it... Making you smell like you've got the genetics of a god. Now THAT should get the attention

of the opposite sex... and it would be unisex too!
i want in on this.
there is no way that this is

impossible. improbable,sure, but think of the fun.... gee who would that make me...aphrodite? oh my yes, i want in

LOL. :box: ME

[Lor]

I've recently fallen for

a female friend of mine since knowing her for 9 months. She never struck me as attractive when I first met her.

SHe's on the skinny side, shortish hair..but charming face and a big smile. After hanging out with her for a while

, now I just can't get her out of my mind.. It's like torture. I can't tell her how I feel either, because I have

a n intuition that she has put me only in the " friends zone " and I'm trapped there.

Here's where I'm hoping

mones would help turn the tide.

Gosh I hate it when charm/charisma/personality kick in. That's when you really

fall for someone and it makes them even harder to forget.....

NFS
if your interested in my opinion, id

be more than happy to post it. im afraid if there isnt interest, its a waste of space. i feel your pain, nfs, we

have all been there. it is torture, but self inflicted, which just irritates the situation. she sounds adorable

actually, anyone with a big smile has to be worth having around :lovestruc

[nfs]

LOR,

Please post. I'm want to

hear what you have to say ..I'll be waiting.

Thanks,

NFS

[Lor]

I've recently fallen for a female friend of mine since knowing her for 9 months. She never struck me as

attractive when I first met her. SHe's on the skinny side, shortish hair..but charming face and a big smile. After

hanging out with her for a while , now I just can't get her out of my mind.. It's like torture. I can't tell her

how I feel either, because I have a n intuition that she has put me only in the " friends zone " and I'm trapped

there.

Here's where I'm hoping mones would help turn the tide.

Gosh I hate it when

charm/charisma/personality kick in. That's when you really fall for someone and it makes them even harder to

forget.....

okay, heres my take on that:
i had a best friend in school. he let me know he liked me, but

in my eyes was very nice,even cute, nothing alpha (was into that,not relevant). he was officially in the "friends

zone". some time had passed and as i was figuring out nice was GOOD, he was discovering talents and becomming way

more confident. i personally think this affected his signiture as well. next time i saw him, he was sexy to

me. where the hell did that come from??? we dated and ended up together for years. something about the change in

confidence... he didnt play any games, like im going to be "aloof" im going to behave "this way or that". the only

difference is that he felt he had more to bring to the table and it really came across. he laughed more, smiled

more, was genuinely more fun around me. when you get an idea in your head of how others percieve you, and if its not

favorable, it comes across, even subtley. some people... not my type in alot of ways....are very attractive because

they come across with genuine confidence, you aint seen nothin yet confidence. not cocky or braggart. just

cute.
heres where 'mones come in:
i notice when i wear my 'mones, whether they are affecting others the way i

wished they would or not, i know i feel more confident wearing them. some just make me feel sexy. i dont have to

say/do anything to feel that way. more often than not, you get a mix that does both...you feel confident and others

detect "happinin" on you. i felt compelled to post because the minute you said "friend zone-trapped", i knew this

did not HAVE to be a forever thing. your not trapped. i look forward to hearing your replies/ experiences here.

:thumbsup:

[nfs]

Hey LOR,

Thanks for your post.

What a great love story with a romantic and happy ending :cheers:

Sounds just like many romantic movies I've

seen where there's a hot girl, and a wussy guy ( best friend ) scenario, and the girl just doesn't see him that

way and goes out with the " asshole ". Then the asshole treats her bad, and the wussy friend's always there to

clean up the mess. At the end of it she realises what a good mop he is and falls deeply in love with him and live

happily ever after. :kiss:

I know that the " friends-zone " ain't forever....but looks like your friend

actually changed alot of his inner-game..and that took a good deal of time. People just can't change overnight,

takes a whole lot of experiencing new people, new hobbies, new careers etc before change happens. You mentioned time

had passed before you met him again, may i just ask out of curiousity,...how long it was?

With this girl pal

and I... I don't have the luxury of waiting a few years of change before she seriously digs me in that way, so I'm

gonna have to do something bout it now. That's why I got into mones in the first place. But here's an interesting

story for ya:

Friday night - I went out with this gal and another female friend for dinner. Just the 3 of us. I

wacked on like 1 spray of TE Heat and 3 sprays of Chikara.

Just to make it easy.. the girl pal that I'm

interested in will be labelled " A ", and the other 3rd party female friend will be " B ".

First stop - We

went to have dinner at a japanese restaurant. Now.. B goes to the toilet and so A and I have to find a table. We

founda little square table with 4 seats. She chooses a seat and I go to the one adjacent to her, she hasn't sat

down yet but she immediately puts her bag on that chair and moves on to the right. So i move to the one with her bag

on it and she moves over one again. So i get th ehint and just sat down thinking.. " wtf ". Now just to le tu know..

I've not shown neediness or clinginess to her. I've told her long time ago that I've found her attractive but

that's it, we're friends. So I don't know what's up with this. Anyway, B comes back from the toilet and we

continue eating.

Mid way through the dinner , I start getting more eye contact from A, during conversation. B

starts joking around and asks A if she would go out with me if I wasn't attached ( long story..will fill u in on

that one at a later date..let's just say it's complicated atm ). A smiles and looks like she wants to answer

something, but i quickly jumped in to diffuse the situation saying " nah....we're just totally good friends and

she's not my type anyway, besides she's too skinny for my tastes ( said jokingly ). " * wipes brow sweat *. So

they all have a bit of a chuckle.

So on the way out of the restaurant later..A suddenly asks me, " if you met

the perfect girl for you , would you break up with who you're currently with for this girl ? " . I said " yeah sure

I would , if she was miss. right " .

Now I have heard that A is currently interested in a guy but she doesn't

know how he feels etc..and she's waiting for him to give stronger signals and she's in a state of confusion.

NObody knows who this guy is and when I ask A, she smiles and doesn't want to say anything bout it. So she's

probably just asking me the prior question to get some feedback for her own situation, who know?

Next stop:



We then hit a smoky bar. First thign I do is get the 2 girls a drink and I run off to the toilets to refresh the

mones. 2 sprays chikara and 1 more spray TE Heat. Now things seems a bit different this time.

We sit at a

small , very small round table with 3 bar stools. We start conversation bout bullshit, like relationships, other

people's relationships etc. I start turning attention to girl B, to play a little bit on the jealousy plot. And

girl A shifts her seat clother to me this time. I ignored it. Then she starts getting animated and talking and

laughing. She's got her legs crossed at this point and pointed towards me, under the table. After alot of further

animation, he legs start to touch mine and then she starts to shake her legs at a rythmic pace. And all this time,

her leg was resting on mine ( at the shin approximately ). I just played it off like I didn't notice it. This leg

thing went on for a good 5- 10 mins till i shifted position abit to break off contact. I don't know if it meant

anything but, even for 2 friends, if their legs came into contact under the table by accident, wouldn't they just

move away? To have prolonged contact like that and the leg rubbing/shaking up and down...was just wierd.

This

was a huge difference to what happened at the start of the dinner, where she kept moving one seat away from me.



Ok so to cut the story short, after 1 hr we leave the bar. As she leave she hands me her hand bag and I go "

what's this for ? ".. She says " u can hold my bag ". I said " no.,...I'm not your monkey or your bf, hold it

yourself :) ". She grins and becomes playful and she grabs my hand to force the bag in there...and I kept teasing

her and pushing her away.. There was no way I was gonna stoop so low. I know that in the past she's gotten guys to

melt in her hand. I didn't want to be in that supplicating state. So as we exit the bar, it's cold.

What does

she do? She grabs on to me and locks arms with me then puts her head on my shoulder. And walks with me. She mutters

" it's sooo cold ". Girl B looks at us both with a wierd expression ...like " what the heck is going on here, is

there something I wasn't told about ? ".

So I walk her to her car and she gives me this really tight hug and

then we split. So far, no one's mentioned anything bout smelly TE, or nice cologne etc.

What do you think

guys. Was that a hit or was she just being a friendly/touchy friend? We did have a few long glances during the

course of the night...or maybe it's just what I want to imagine.:sick:

sorry for this long post.

NFS



PS: LOr, check out my other post titled " chikara = chloroform " .. I think I got my first ever hit there. That

one is solid.

[Lor]

first of all, without getting into

my beliefs about happy endings, this guy i was with is 1500 miles away. permanantly.:sad:
at the risk of sounding

like an oldschool teacher taking my ruler and smacking you sraight on the knuckles:hammer: , here i go:
men always

kill a chance (not that you did) by believeing in this silly pride thing (cant let her have the upper hand....she

makes guys melt...i wont be her monkey..ect) when a girl tries to get you to do stuff for her, i guarentee 9 times

out of 10 she is testing you to see if making any more moves will yield her anything. girls are afraid of rejection

too,and they will make it look playful so that if you reject them, then they "really were just playing" anyways. get

it? in other words, if she tests you again, soften a little and give in. no one is asking you to get walked on. she

sounds like shes into you. i dont care what anyone else says,lol. good luck, let us know what happens!
:kiss:

[CptKipling]

NFS,

Are you actually

kidding with that post? Seriously! I find it so frustrating to see a person be held back by their own limiting

beliefs, beliefs that they themselves have created. This is usually done subconsciously by the mind in a stupidly

convoluted attempt at self-esteem preservation; everyone is guilty of self deception, but the restrictions are more

obvious in some people.

The "friend zone" is a myth perpetuated by the male mind. I have some really cool female

friends, but to me that doesn't mean I couldn't progress things if I wanted to (in some ways it's easier), so why

should you? It's only a belief, and it's only as true as you allow it to be. The only truth about the situation

that is important here is that she is someone you know reasonably well and you currently like her. The rest is open

for interpretation, so why not interpret it in ways that doesn't mess up your head?

She was sending you ALL

KINDS OF SIGNALS! The seat thing, her friend's question (girls talk about things and I'd bet money that even if

they haven't talked about this she will have picked up that "girl A" likes you), her question about the perfect

girl (YES, THAT WAS ABOUT YOU, its even possible that the "other guy" is you), all that stuff at the bar, the "its

soooo cold" bit, the hug, etc. etc.

Obvious! :)

I'm going to partially disagree with Lor as well. I think

you actually handled the whole thing *almost* perfectly. The bag thing is definitely something you did right, she

was subconsciously testing your congruence with your confident behavior. It will not hurt you at all to have her

wondering about you, whether that be in the form of her wondering about your interest in her or whatever. At some

point you do have to be honest with your intention and actually make a move though.

If she is testing you she

likes you. Instead of giving in, make a move on your own terms in an assertive, honest and manly way. In other

words, have the confidence to let her know what you want and to go for it.

The only thing you have done wrong so

far (apart from worrying FAR to much) is to not escalate and make a move, but there is nothing to stop you from

doing that in the near future.

[Lor]

The only thing you have done

wrong so far (apart from worrying FAR to much) is to not escalate and make a move, but there is nothing to stop you

from doing that in the near future.
nice to have my thoughts confirmed by someone i respect.

[nfs]

CPT,

THanks for your post as well

as LOR's. Both are very valid arguments to this case, however I have failed to inform you guys of a couple of

important facts. There was just way too much to tell and I didn't want to bore you guys any further, besides, this

thread should have been started afresh...feel like i've hijacked invisible's thread ( sorry dude ).

CPT, just

some quick snack facts :

1. she knows I have a gf, but at the same time she knows that my current relationship is

on the rocks, and I'm very unhappy in it.

2. In the past..I've just casually blurted out that that I think

she's an attractive girl and that she should have no problems getting a new bf ( she broke up with her ex many

months back ). I have not implied that I like her though. Paying a friend a compliment does not imply being

attracted to her. I've purposely paid compliments to other female friends infront of her as well, so it doesn't

look too obvious. I'm a very open and casual/laid back and somewhat cheeky sorta guy, so most people can't figure

out what i'm really about.'

3. Another mutual guy friend of ours has told me that this girl leaves a trail of

destruction everywhere she goes. All the guys that have come into contact with her have fallen for her and she's

put them in the dreaded " Friend-zone " LOL! Sorry man. I had to find a way to describe it to you..i know u don't

like the term.
She's left all these guys miserable. It's just that she's got a superb personality and she's a

very warm /touchy sorta girl ( so i'm told ), so all the guys get the wrong idea..and start to fall for her. I'm

sure u know and have been in that situation before.

I just don't want to be another casualty man... I want to

be extra careful about this one.

4. Last of all. I sometimes talk to her online MSN, and when I DO pay her a

compliment of play-flirt with her jokingly.. she just either totally ignores my comment or just shuts up. I take

this as a sign that she feels uncomfortable. I would personally feel uncomfortable if a person I wasn't attracted

to were to flirt with me, and I would shut up too and try to change topics etc.

As you can see, I am totally

lost with this situation. I usually can tell when a girl is interested in me, but in this case, it's alot more

complicated than that. Probably cause she knows I'm attached and she's just a plain dick-teaser. But i know

she's not out to hurt guys, it's just that she's a touchy feely person.

My question is to you CPT:

- which

chair thing were u referring to? In the restaurant she didn't want to sit next to me, kept moving round the table

to ensure one seat was empty between us.

- With the leg rubbing and the bar situation shortly after, do you

think the mones were working her? Didn't seem to affect the other girl B sitting next to me.

- Is there a way ,

with which I could tread carefully, and sorta find out if she's into me or she's just treating me as a friend ,

without totally blowing my cover? We're friends and knowing the situation, if the feeling isn't mutual and i come

out and make a move on her, everything gonna go downhill with the friendship. If there's a sneaky way u know of

that I can draw the truth from her, please tell me now ....

Lor, u got anymore comments? I think we should cut

this thread off after CPT's response, I'm loving it but it's totally irrelevant to the subject thread.

THanks

guys so much. I love this forum for all it's support. :box:

Your fellow moner ,

NFS

[InvisibleEdge]

- Is there

a way , with which I could tread carefully, and sorta find out if she's into me or she's just treating me as a

friend , without totally blowing my cover? We're friends and knowing the situation, if the feeling isn't mutual

and i come out and make a move on her, everything gonna go downhill with the friendship. If there's a sneaky way u

know of that I can draw the truth from her, please tell me now ....

Lor, u got anymore comments? I think we

should cut this thread off after CPT's response, I'm loving it but it's totally irrelevant to the subject

thread.

THanks guys so much. I love this forum for all it's support. :box:

Your fellow moner ,



NFS

While your talking to her lick your lips occasionally not to much and see if she licks hers while

she's talkin' to you. In my experience that's a sign that she's feeling you. Or you can drink with her to see

if she let's her true feelings be known.

[Rashkae]

While your

talking to her lick your lips occasionally not to much and see if she licks hers while she's talkin' to you. In

my experience that's a sign that she's feeling you. Or you can drink with her to see if she let's her true

feelings be known.

Yup! This works. It's kinda like you're signaling her that you're gettig your lips

ready for a kiss... If she reacts, then she's hoping for that kiss. ;)

[Lor]

so your saying its not like a yawn?

just hearing it made me feels as if my lips were dry...

[InvisibleEdge]

so your saying

its not like a yawn? just hearing it made me feels as if my lips were dry...

Good point it can be like

yawning. The eye contact is important and look if it's done sensually.

[Mtnjim]

Screw it!!
Just kiss her. If she

uses her tongue you're in.:thumbsup:

By the way, if she doesn't, don't apologize!

[CptKipling]

Jim is the man! But I'm

guessing he either consciously or unconsciously understands a few things you don't.

First of all I'll

address your points and questions:

1. She knows you're very unhappy about your current relationship being

on the rocks? That could make it more interesting; she could still be interested in you but might be wanting to

tread carefully, or she could just be being a sensitive friend, or she might actually want you to break up with your

gf to be with her. I can't tell you the answer to that, and really neither can you know it anyway. Be aware that

sometimes the principle motivation for the behavior of girls is a sense of vulnerability, just like Lor said.



2. Yeah that's a good thing.

3. I see that kind of thing happen a lot, but it's the guys fault that

they found themselves in that situation. If he does everything right and still doesn't get anywhere (which is

rare), then its his fault that he became too attached and got himself into a position where he couldn't say "no"

and walk away.
4. Stop trying to read her mind! You will never know what she is thinking so stop complicating

things by guessing.


As you can see, I am totally lost with this situation. I usually can tell when a

girl is interested in me, but in this case, it's alot more complicated than that. Probably cause she knows I'm

attached and she's just a plain dick-teaser. But i know she's not out to hurt guys, it's just that she's a

touchy feely person.
Sometimes it is clear that a girl is interest you, and that can be cool because it

might boost your self-esteem, but there are many reasons why a girl would want to hide their interest. I'm going to

say it again... sometimes its nice if you notice signs that a girl is interested in you (and its fun if experience

can hint at her interest level), but ultimately worrying and looking for them is a fools game.


- which

chair thing were u referring to? In the restaurant she didn't want to sit next to me, kept moving round the table

to ensure one seat was empty between us.
Yep I meant that one. She was acting weird, and she was either

uncomfortable, joking around or flirting. Bearing in mind that she chose to go to for a meal with you and judging

from what what happened later all 3 of this suggest that she is into you.

- With the leg rubbing and the

bar situation shortly after, do you think the mones were working her? Didn't seem to affect the other girl B

sitting next to me.
I think this was a clear sign that she was attracted to you, but it's impossible to

know if the pheromones played a part.

- Is there a way , with which I could tread carefully, and sorta

find out if she's into me or she's just treating me as a friend , without totally blowing my cover? We're friends

and knowing the situation, if the feeling isn't mutual and i come out and make a move on her, everything gonna go

downhill with the friendship. If there's a sneaky way u know of that I can draw the truth from her, please tell me

now ....
I bet you can guess what I'm going to say here :)

What "cover" are you trying to prevent

being blown? If you decide that you want something with her, then be honest (obviously without gushing, being overly

serious and being pathetic/needy) and advance things. By this I mean simply saying something like these to

her:

"We should do x-thing on x-day"
"You should come with me to do x-thing"
"I'd like to do x-thing,

you should come"

Then do something fun. If you advance things and act totally comfortable and she gets weird

and puts a lot of distance between you, how much of a friend was she?

There are ways that you could sneakily

structure situations and interactions to find out if she liked you too, but it would be far easier and more

effective to just go for it.


so your saying its not like a yawn? just hearing it made me feels as if

my lips were dry...
Your right, it is kind of like a yawn. It plays on the strange link people have when

they have rapport that causes mirroring. So it a) tests for rapport and connection, b) brings her and your lips into

her subconscious.

I hope the first statement in this post makes good sense now. If not I've gotten a bit

lost in my post, I've kind of attacked it intermittently over the day because I've been busy.

If the thread

looks like it is going to continue on this other topic I will split it, so don't worry about that.

[nfs]

Dude,

That was alot of good

comments ...I thank ye for that .. Kinda brought me back to basics.

I have to mention about the restaurant

situation though...

SHe messged me on on MSN the night before and said " hey I 've gotta go somewhere at 9 pm

but would u like to have dinner with me ? "

I said " ok , why not , sounds good "

5 mins later she asks one

of our mutual friends ( a girl ) along. Now, before this, I thought that there might have been a spark of romance

there..but seeing that she decided to pull our friend along, I guess not.

Then at the restaurant... she kept

switching seats till we were spaced apart by 1 seat. This is nto the first time it has happened either. 2 weeks

before this we had dinner with a friend..
Seating arrangement was 2 seats side by side, facing 2 seats. Sorta like

a bench style thing.

I came in a bit late and she was sitting on one side and another friend was sitting on the

opposite side. I was just bout to shift towards her direction to sit down and she tells me to go sit next to the

other girl on the other side. And I ask what's up , she said " Oh i wanna put my bag here next to me ". * i just

gave her a really wierd look and so did the other girl *.

See, it's stuff like this that really makes me wanna

tread extra careful, and not blow it. I don't know why she won't sit next to me when we're having dinner. Yet

..after dinner she will hug me, walk arm in arm with me... do touchy feely, give me long stares...

What do you

think could be the reason for the seating arrangement? I can think of couple of reasons:

1. She doesn't want to

lead me on and feels uncomfy coz she has a notion that I dig her.

2. She feels uncomfortable or embarassed if i

sit next to her while she's eating . Maybe she doesn't want me to see her put food in her mouth. Who knows.

3.

I stink. ( but due to several other reasons stated above, I don't think this is the case ).

Man like my friend

said, she "mind-fu*ks " guys then leaves them all screwed up .

I've been trying to escalte the situation

constantly by asking her to join me at the bar, go grab a quite casual bite for dinner after work..etc. But she's

always busy. Sounds like I got rejected, I know. But funny thing is..out of the blue she would call me out again,

but it's never when I plan something. If we go out, it's always her call. I never get her out when I do the

invite.

Guys lemme tell ya. I've dated many many girls throughout my lifetime and for the first time , I am

truly stumped. And it's really blowing out my self-confidence. I only wish you guys could see this game being

played out through my eyes...that way you could better advise me.

I bet you guys are totally confused right

about now, with regards to what this girl's feeling yeh?

Thanks for your post again CPTKipling

NFS

[pbj]

I bet you guys are totally

confused right about now, with regards to what this girl's feeling yeh?

I dunno, sounds almost like you are

the second stringer. Ie. she's calling you to go out because her first choice couldn't make it, that sort of

thing.

You are making sure you aren't available a few times when she's arranging that right? You definitely

don't want to be the "always available" guy for that.

[nfs]

pjb,

I haven't been doing that

no. But that's a good point. It's so hard to get a hold of her actually that we don't catch up that often.. I

will do that next time though.

Thanks:rant:

[pbj]

Yeah, the always busy part except

when she wants a meal kinda confirms you as the second stringer. At least in my opinion.

If she was really

that interested in you she'd be making more time. You aren't paying for her meals on these meetups (I can't

really call them dates) too are you? I'm sure you can see how bad it would look if that was the case.

[nfs]

Nope

Honestly I never paid

for anything unless she's going steady with me. Or in other words, I'm getting something in return, bang for my

buck so to speak, Sorry bout being harsh.

I don't know if i'm being a stringer here though, come to think

of it. I do know the people she hangs around and she's not into any of them. According to my sources, she's not

even sure if this guy's into her and I don't think he even lives in the same state. She does travel interstate

alot as she has a business running in the other state, so that's the only time she gets to see " him " if there was

such a person.

Thanks for filtering out the possibilities though pjb.

[Lor]

sounds like you found someone treading just as carefully as you. dont take what i have to say to be

what i think YOU should do, but here's what i see: shes treading lightly. your treading lightly. both are social.

she's behaving like a kid asking friends to come along, which to me sounds too much like "we're all friends here".

someone has to be the agressor here,someday, and dammit i dont want it to be me (okay give me her number, im going

to figure this sheet out for you) j/k, can you casually mention another girl or date you've had in the past to see

if she has opinions/advice to lead you in her direction? like, what kind of personality is the right one for me? to

see if she thinks her's is? lol puts her on the spot but dammit we gots to gets stuff going here,LOL!:trout:

[nfs]

man Lor,

that's an awesome

suggestion! Thanks!

I'll tell her that there's this girl at work that I'm really into and I'll ask her

what she thinks of me asking this girl out. But I'm not sure bout the girl either coz she's sorta the aggressive

type and that's not what I really want to get into ...I don't know... do i sound confused?

Something

along those lines maybe?

What sorta signs should I be looking for here after putting her on the spot?

[Mtnjim]

Jeeez dude
Paralysis by analysis.

Just flippin’ kiss her.:kiss: You’ll have your answer. You’re making this way too complicated.:hammer:

[Holmes]

This thread has a vintage

Manchorito feel to it.

[pbj]

Jeeez dude
Paralysis

by analysis. Just flippin’ kiss her.:kiss: You’ll have your answer.

Lol, it's just the "I don't want

to lose her" thing kicking in there. I agree, he's probably got to lay it out there and get an answer from her,

but actually doing it can be pretty tough. At least until he gets over the "I don't want to lose her" part and

learns to take it as it is.

[Lor]

man Lor,



that's an awesome suggestion! Thanks!

I'll tell her that there's this girl at work that I'm really into

and I'll ask her what she thinks of me asking this girl out. But I'm not sure bout the girl either coz she's

sorta the aggressive type and that's not what I really want to get into ...I don't know... do i sound confused?



Something along those lines maybe?

What sorta signs should I be looking for here after putting her on the

spot?
:nono: dont mention checking out another girl!! if you aint all about her, she'll find someone

who is...rule of thumb for all males willing to humor my post!!!
eh, be more general, so that your not making

stuff up. be truthful. let it go like; you know, i trust your take on stuff and i was wondering what kind of girl

you see me with....i guess ive been picking all the wrong ones and maybe getting a gals advice on who would be good

for me is what i need. (compliment her-) your an insightful chick, can you tell me what i should be looking for?

there you go, you just put the ball in her court. after that, dont look for signs,thats it. either she tells ya

straight up you need someone like her, or she goes DUHHHH i dont know :think: then either way ,kiss her, because

thats probably the only chance you'll get before she starts makin all the rules :kiss:

[The Real FTR]

I've just quick scanned

this thread, so forgive me if I've missed something. Is this true -- you have a girlfriend and she knows it? And

she knows you're unhappy with the relationship.

But ... she knows you have a girlfriend.

That, to me, would

explain her apparent ambivalence.

[nfs]

Lor,

Excellent post. I will

try that as soon as I get a chance to go out with her 1 on 1. Thanks so much.

FTR: yep ...is true. I need a

sign from her before I risk everything .

Pjb : I don't have the " i don't want to lose her " mentality.

It's more like we have alot of mutual friends in common and I have a gf. If I made a move on her and she's not

interested in me, everything's gonna get blown out of the water and everything will know including my gf. I've got

everything to lose in this matter. Know what I'm saying.. I'd even lose her as a friend as things will get funky

between us once she knows i'm interested.

[nfs]

Lor,

Excellent post. I will

try that as soon as I get a chance to go out with her 1 on 1. Thanks so much.

FTR: yep ...is true. I need a

sign from her before I risk everything .

Pjb : I don't have the " i don't want to lose her " mentality.

It's more like we have alot of mutual friends in common and I have a gf. If I made a move on her and she's not

interested in me, everything's gonna get blown out of the water and everything will know including my gf. I've got

everything to lose in this matter. Know what I'm saying.. I'd even lose her as a friend as things will get funky

between us once she knows i'm interested.:run:

[The Real FTR]

I think I agree with the

other people who've said she's given you a lot of signs.

Why should this girl take a risk on a guy who has a

girlfriend? Legitimate concerns she could have:
1. We'll get involved, I'll get attached, he'll dump me and

go back to his girlfriend;
2. We'll get involved, and if we have problems, he'll start hitting on girls in our

circle of friends behind my back (The old "If they'll do it to anyone, they'll do it to you" theory)
3. What

kind of slut does he think I am, to mess with some other woman's boyfriend? Or even, am I a slut because I'm

thinking about being with someone else's boyfriend.

All you have to lose is a girlfriend who's not making you

happy, as far as I can see.

[nfs]

Well said FTR..

I'm trying

not to be too biased here due to the fact i'm really attracted to her, but from some other wierd things she's done

that I've not mentioned here, what you've said pretty much matches the bill.

Thanks.

[The Real FTR]

Happy to help!

[Lor]

(The old "If they'll do it

to anyone, they'll do it to you" theory)

i think everyone to some degree has lived this theory out. not

necessarily with a boy/girl friend, but in any dealings with another person. its less a theory, more a rule .