View Full Version : Question to MEN: Does he like me or not??
girlnextdoor
02-17-2006, 03:34 AM
I know it sounds like a silly grade school question. But I'm finding it so frustrating that I'm
asking the only people who can decode a confusing man, namely, you fine studly men :wave:
How can you tell if a
guy likes a girl? I'm talking about the reserved guys who won't look you in the eye. Pshaw, they say women are
hard to read, that's nothing compared to reserved men. Here's my problem: there's a guy I like A LOT, I just
can't tell what he thinks of me. I know him from work, though I see him only once in 10 days or so during meetings
and such as he works on another floor.
I thought he dislikes me because he never looks or even says hi, but
sometimes things happen that confuse me. Like at a corporate get together recently, we all had to mention a musician
we liked. I was one of the first and said an offbeat one that nobody mentioned. It was his turn near the end, and he
mentioned the exact same one. He was the only other one to do so. It could be coincidence, by why would he blatanly
mention the same thing when it's so different and odd? I know I wouldn't, but maybe it's a girl thing.
Then on
an evaluation report sent out, he was in charge of evaluating a small group, about 7 of us in all. Everyone got a
proficient or good. I got an excellent. It's not an objective ranking where excellent means 10 points or anything,
it's just subjective comments. But that still surprised me a little as I was expecting something negative. And then
a few days back someone asked him a technical question. He referred her to me.
Things like this make me think he
atleast respects my work abilities a little, even if it doesn't mean he likes me as a person. But why do I feel
like a second-rate citizen around him? At meetings with our small project team he looks at the other six people
while speaking, but barely glances at me. Then today he came out from the coffee room, and I was the first person he
saw in the cubicle area. He just looked and glanced away like he couldn't care less. But he nodded at another
woman, and gave a buddy-buddy greeting to a guy. I felt sorta hurt and left out.
He's not shy, but reserved.
He's friendly with people he knows and usually chilled out. Why is he like this towards me? Do I rub him wrong, or
maybe it's my own reservedness?
I'm crushing on him, but I'm sure he doesn't feel the same. I don't dress to
sex at work, so I look dowdy with glasses and boxy suits and all. Can't imagine he'd see anything in me. But why
do I get the feeling there's something more to this? It feels like he respects but doesn't like me. How to get him
to like me, as a friend??
Jesus it's frustrating. Do you men have any insights? I feel silly posting this now,
as though I just confessed in my preteen diary about a guy from math class :rant:
bolounit
02-17-2006, 03:57 AM
Scope out the women who dress somewhat more liberaly than you do at
work...................and this is IMPORTANT......................where he looks at them . Once armed with this
knowledge dress not too outrageous but show some tasteful work apropriate skin .If he is a breast man show work
apropripiate cleavage, a if a buttman where something apropriate but bootlishishes .he also might be an odd duck
that likes barefoot women .MEN are VISUAL . i guarantee you if you talk about the same music , share the same
interest and you give VISUAL PHERMONES(aka eye candy he will warm up to you) Also this lady at work aproached me at
work and i said yes. Dont under estimate yourself being the agressor .It is everymans fantasy.
gamecity
02-17-2006, 05:15 AM
You always have to dress to
impress. Most Americans dress for comfort. You need to dress to impress to be noticed. You can always talk to him
btw. Initiate a conversation like you need help with a computer or you bring a jar at your workplace and pretend you
can't open it then ask him. Once you are able to stop him, ask his name. Say like what is your name, I always see
you but I don't know who you are.
Some men are like me though. My eyes wonder a lot and sometimes it
inadvertently creates a mixed signal that I'm interested in a woman when I'm not because I'm currently
unavailable. It might be the same for him. He might be interested in you physically but emotionally and spiritually
he is already taken.
MOBLEYC57
02-17-2006, 05:26 AM
Maybe ...
just maybe ... all your I don't have friends/have time for friends, and hard work, which seems to me, is the type
of person you are, is noticed. When one only thinks about work/moving forward in life as for things/money/power, you
are noticed by those in power. He could like you, he could like the way you work, and your level of knowledge of
your job.
You can get all the advice you want, but no one knows what's on the fella's mind but GOD and the
fella, and neither are talking. Finding out if someone likes you or not, male or female, takes TIME. So, little miss
"I want friends when I have time for them," sounds like you're just gonnnnnna have to suffer a little, and WAIT and
SEE, and still ........................... you may never know. :blink: :rant: :sad: :think:
Hang in there!
:wave: We tend to make dealing with the opposite sex much harder than it really is. :thumbsup:
bolounit
02-17-2006, 05:52 AM
One Day emphasis
within company rules Cleavage . The next wear something that shows off your derrier. The following day wear a short
but busness aproprirate skirt . Finaly when your boss aint looking walk barefoot at work .Notice if his gaze
gravitates towards you more on one day less then others.Also be forward .Guys get a kick when a women is the
agressor .
You might not like what I'm about to
say but I think he knows that your attracted to him, but he doesn't have the same feelings towards you (at least
not yet).
He feels uncomfortable that why he avoids eye contact and act the way he does.
There are two
women at my work place that have crushes on me, because I don't have the same feelings my demeanor changes slightly
when I'm in contact with them.
I dated women at work before and believe me the minute I found out they felt the
same I was in like flint.
Showing cleavage may appeal to his animalistic lust but you might be in a worse
situation at work if he wants to move on after the deed.
DCW
chicago
02-17-2006, 12:05 PM
sounds to me, you are out of
league.
________
Grandma live (http://www.girlcamfriend.com/webcam/granny/)
MOBLEYC57
02-17-2006, 12:25 PM
sounds to me, you
are out of league.
<Chicago>:whip: You're ONLY out of your league IF YOU THINK you're out of your
league.
The lady wanted to know if men thought that he liked her, and all she gets is how to dress. Anyone?
Anyone? :think:
As fer his actions ... he's either interested and/or shy, or he's not interested. TIME is
still the true story teller. HURRY UP AND WAIT. :wave:
marcuccio88
02-17-2006, 12:51 PM
Remember, life in the corporate world does not follow the same rules as life in the real world (I speak from
personal authority/experience). Social behavior in the office is not always safe. Dressing sexy in the corporate
environment may have negative effects. Likewise, your friend "target" may be reserved because he is concerned with
his office persona and his career. From what you said, if he is available and hetero, he is probably interested in
you too.
My advice, make as much friendly contact as possible: chitchat, stop by his office to "check in" - send an
email message. This is the only way to send a message (subtle flirt) in such a sterile environment. Once you build
friendly rapport, it will be safe for both of you to build a social relationship.
Just my 2cents
and of course I
wish you success.
girlnextdoor
02-17-2006, 04:47 PM
sounds to
me, you are out of league.
Lol, way to go for the ego boost dude, thanks :thumbsup:
girlnextdoor
02-17-2006, 04:52 PM
You might not
like what I'm about to say but I think he knows that your attracted to him, but he doesn't have the same feelings
towards you (at least not yet).
He feels uncomfortable that why he avoids eye contact and act the way he does.
There are two women at my work place that have crushes on me, because I don't have the same feelings my demeanor
changes slightly when I'm in contact with them.
I dated women at work before and believe me the minute I found out
they felt the same I was in like flint.
Showing cleavage may appeal to his animalistic lust but you might be in
a worse situation at work if he wants to move on after the deed.
DCW
ya know, DCW, what you've
said makes the most sense so far. I hope that's not the case, but it could be possible. I act the same way he acts
to me, which is put him on ignore. I barely contact him or look him in the eye and I don't go out of my way to
speak to him. But that being said I just have an aura of happiness when he's around. I tend to smile at other
people more, crack more jokes, etc. Maybe it's obvious in a subdued way that I like him? It could be possible. If
it is, you're right, I don't like it.
girlnextdoor
02-17-2006, 04:59 PM
Remember, life in the corporate world does not follow the same rules as life in the real world
(I speak from personal authority/experience). Social behavior in the office is not always safe. Dressing sexy in the
corporate environment may have negative effects. Likewise, your friend "target" may be reserved because he is
concerned with his office persona and his career. From what you said, if he is available and hetero, he is probably
interested in you too.
My advice, make as much friendly contact as possible: chitchat, stop by his office to "check
in" - send an email message. This is the only way to send a message (subtle flirt) in such a sterile environment.
Once you build friendly rapport, it will be safe for both of you to build a social relationship.
Just my
2cents
and of course I wish you success.
Despite all the well-meaning advice I don't intend to sex
it up at work. It would be too weird to do it suddenly, and I would lose respect at work. Right now my mannish
attitude is what's giving me an edge and people are taking me more seriously. I'm not looking to lose it. And it
goes against my own grain as well.
I will try to test the water and fish around through casual business contact
and see how he behaves. I doubt it will lead anywhere though since the few times I tried that we discussed the issue
at hand then went back to our usual selves.
girlnextdoor
02-17-2006, 05:16 PM
Maybe ...
just maybe ... all your I don't have friends/have time for friends, and hard work, which seems to me, is the type
of person you are, is noticed. When one only thinks about work/moving forward in life as for things/money/power, you
are noticed by those in power. He could like you, he could like the way you work, and your level of knowledge of
your job.
You can get all the advice you want, but no one knows what's on the fella's mind but GOD and the
fella, and neither are talking. Finding out if someone likes you or not, male or female, takes TIME. So, little miss
"I want friends when I have time for them," sounds like you're just gonnnnnna have to suffer a little, and WAIT and
SEE, and still ........................... you may never know. :blink: :rant: :sad: :think:
Hang in there!
:wave: We tend to make dealing with the opposite sex much harder than it really is. :thumbsup:
Awwww
mobley, I'm not like that really. You seem to think I'm an ass-whooping friend-stomper :whip:
It's just that
since I don't have many friends, I've filled my schedule with other things. If I had friends they would come
first. I have a bad habit of being extremely loyal because if someone wins my trust they can depend on me for
life.
But back to the topic, you're right. It's hard to say what any individual is thinking, god only knows.
You're also right about not seeking dress advice, though I do appreciate all the cleavage and butt advice
given :lol: . I'm not trying to capture him with feminine wiles or necessarily even go to bed with him. I'm just
trying to understand his behavior since it's too confusing for me. And while I do like him sexually, I'm not too
worried if he doesn't like me back sexually. I'm more interested if he likes me on a personal/friend level because
it bothers me that he doesn't even seem to consider me alive. I guess I'm extremely interested in whats going on
in his mind and expected you men to have some secret code or something.
Friendly1
02-17-2006, 05:46 PM
I agree with DCW to some
extent. It sounds like you've telegraphed your interest and he is not returning it. However, he also seems to
have some sort of supervisory capacity over you and that may be a factor. I got into all sorts of trouble flirting
with and dating girls from work. Some men are willing to take that risk and others are not.
And it may also be
that he is seeing someone he doesn't talk about much at work. I've been seeing my girl for about 5 months now and
yet it was only about a month ago that the women in my office started to get the message that I was taken. I keep
my girl's picture on my desk and they all thought she was my daughter. I wasn't running around bragging about
her or anything.
abcd2
02-17-2006, 06:11 PM
you know ive been doing what your
"guy" does at work, its kinda the nervousness or not the right time- kind of attitude. I never did that before in
my life, i used to always talk to women who i might be seeing for the first time. Its been some slump ive hit which
im trying to bounce back up from, it sucks to know that women are giving you the opportunity yet you do not take
advantage to atleast recognize them.
belgareth
02-17-2006, 08:40 PM
In large part I agree with
Friendly. As a former corporate manager it was never prudent to show any interest in the ladies around the office.
The company I worked for was really conservative and more than one career got ruined by the perception of
impropriety. You simply didn't cross the line, management was unisex.
SwingerMD
02-17-2006, 09:53 PM
I also agree with both Friendly
and Belgareth. It does sound like he has a supervisor capacity over you. He probably has seen you telegraph your
interest, but it does leave you with this question. Is he trying to hide his own interest or (not interested) trying
to let you down w/o confrontation? (or something in between.)
If you are still interested in trying to persue
this you are going to have to slowly and comfortably coax him out. Get in the habit of just saying "Hi" to him in
the morning. Over the course of the month add a few more words. Somehow end up tripping in front of his
cubical/office with a stack of papers (men love to come to the rescue).
-SwingerMD
Gegogi
02-17-2006, 09:56 PM
I guess I'm extremely
interested in whats going on in his mind and expected you men to have some secret code or something.
Yeah
we do. Unfortunately, a condition of manhood is our signature in blood on a nondisclosure agreement. So I can't
tell you.
You should first test the waters by opening a friendly dialog. Don't be pushy, just make a few low
key moves to show you'd like to know him a little better. If you later find out he's married or gay, you'll still
have a friendly acquaintance, and that can't be bad in any work situation.
The ideal office romance would be
with someone outside of your immediate division or department. He's availble but can be avoided most of the time if
things go south later. I had 2 different female colleagues come after me during the last few years with guns
blazing. Unfortunately I wasn't attracted to either one. In fact both scared the crap out of me and it was awkward
for several years as I had to see them everyday!
MOBLEYC57
02-18-2006, 05:42 AM
Awwww mobley, I'm not like that really. You seem to think I'm an ass-whooping friend-stomper
:whip:
It's just that since I don't have many friends, I've filled my schedule with other things. If I had
friends they would come first. I have a bad habit of being extremely loyal because if someone wins my trust they can
depend on me for life.
Sowwy, but no, friend-stomper is not what I meant ... someone that's always busy
in a business/I gotta get ahead in life world and not making/taking time for others is more like it, Little Sugar.
:thumbsup:
I'm pretty much the same way as for loyalty once me trust is won, too.
But
back to the topic, you're right. It's hard to say what any individual is thinking, god only knows.
You're
also right about not seeking dress advice, though I do appreciate all the cleavage and butt advice given :lol: .
What they're not understanding is that cleavage and butt advice is never needed for a mature woman ...
I'd say that once they've matured enough to understand that men are more visual ... tis soooooooooooooo natural
for at least 97 percent of women to KNOW ALL the what to do/display. :sick:
I'm not
trying to capture him with feminine wiles or necessarily even go to bed with him. I'm just trying to understand his
behavior since it's too confusing for me. And while I do like him sexually, I'm not too worried if he doesn't
like me back sexually. I'm more interested if he likes me on a personal/friend level because it bothers me that he
doesn't even seem to consider me alive. I guess I'm extremely interested in whats going on in his mind and
expected you men to have some secret code or something.
He likes you on a personal/friend level = go ask
the girlnexdoor. No one would send someone for advice to someone they didn't like/know their work = you're alive =
it's probably better to keep my distance because ... she's hot ... I like her ... it could be trouble ... it's
much safer ... she may not like me ... I wonder if she likes me on a personal/friend level ... I wonder if she knows
I'm alive ... I wonder what's going on in her mind.
Stop confusing the issue, grab ahold of ya belt buckle,
and hold on, and let time show you what's on his mind. My guess is that it's probably driving you nuts. How does
it feel not knowing/not being able to control the issue?:think: :frustrate
As life turns its page, there will
be lots of "I JUST HAVE TO KNOWs" that can't be found in a text book. Stimulating, yes?:whip:
You'll be alright.:think: :whip:
a.k.a.
02-18-2006, 09:42 AM
It feels like
he respects but doesn't like me.
Some guys are like that. Forget about him, for the time being.
Experiment with your pheromones until you feel confident with their application. (Coffee shops and book stores are a
good place to experiment.) Get to the point where you can intuitively gauge the effect of your mones and he’ll be a
puppet on your string.
How to get him to like me, as a friend??
Who cares?
People that can’t be bothered to say a simple, “Hello” tend to be self-absorbed and don’t make very warm friends.
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