A sad sad person needs help

[girlnextdoor]

I'm

probably going to offend someone, but I assume most people here are geeks looking to improve their social standing?

Well if not, I certainly fall in that category myself. I'm here because I need help. Here's the story:

I'm a

somewhat shy person trying to make friends. I've got low self esteem and all that other baggage. Problem is I'm

having a hard time making friends. I guess one of the main issues is I have a big 'back off' sign on me or

something. I'm not aware of it, but apparently people think I'm aloof. In reality I'm very very open to being

friendly, but people don't get to know me long enough to find out.

Then comes another level of

problems....people who DO get to know me really like me, and say I'm smart/funny/sweet, but after that I can't

break through to them. They like me, but don't really befriend me. Nobody calls me to hang out and stuff.

I

can't figure it out. Almost everyone is always surprised at how warm and funny I turn out to be, but why don't

they go further? Is my signature scent 'off' or something?

Anyway, I'm looking to pheremones for help. I

realize pheremones are not a magic solution, but I'm just looking for a boost rather than a magic potion. I find

that any little boost like a good dress or good hair day greatly increases my confidence, so I'm thinking the

effect of pheremones should act as a similar boost.

So, making a long story short, what pheremone suggestions do

you have to get people to warm up to me? I'm getting desperate. It's no fun being a loner, and I' feel like my

life is on hold.

Thanks for any suggestions.....

[belgareth]

Off the top I'd say to try

something with Nol in it if you are just looking for friendship assistance. SoE might be a good choice. It seems to

encourage people to talk. Otherwise, spend a little time looking up posts by Naughtiegirl, Silksand and

Countesszero.

Could you tell us a little more about yourself? How old are you? Are you involved in activities?



A mistake guys make in relationships all the time is to get too clingy, we latch onto a person and expect them

to reciprocate. It makes us seem weak and needy, which we often are but that is not an attractive trait. Get

involved in activities and make yourself stay busy.You'll meet a lot more people that way and have a lot more

opportunities for friendships. You'll also become more interesting too others because of your busy schedule.

There's a lot that applies to dating that can be applied to life in general so spend some time readuing dating

advice and considering how it might apply to friendships.

[girlnextdoor]

Thanks for your help,

Belgareth.

I'm twenty-something. Yeah I try to involve in activities, though it's hard sometimes since I tend

to be a little workaholic and always have some side projects of my own. For the most part my day is filled, but just

no friends in it. If I had friends I'd make time for them, but since I don't I try to keep busy with

activities.

As for the clingy/needy thing, no way! It goes against everything that defines me. I'm more the

independent type who finds neediness extremely unattractive.

I'm not exactly a tomboy since I'm not into sports

and stuff, but I'm guy-ish in my attitudes towards life. I mean, I'm not butch or anything, but I don't believe

in stuff like fluff and mushiness. My screenname best describes me....a girl next door who happens to be more

practical than anything else.

Anyway, I'll check out the posts by those names you mentioned. Hopefully I'll

find something there I can apply.

[Bkflip]

Working up to diffrent situations

is best,try to be alitle more bold each time. Even whith the pheromones.

[MOBLEYC57]

Thanks for

your help, Belgareth.

I'm twenty-something. Yeah I try to involve in activities, though it's hard sometimes

since I tend to be a little workaholic and always have some side projects of my own. For the most part my day is

filled, but just no friends in it. If I had friends I'd make time for them, but since I don't I try to keep busy

with activities.

As for the clingy/needy thing, no way! It goes against everything that defines me. I'm more

the independent type who finds neediness extremely unattractive.

I'm not exactly a tomboy since I'm not into

sports and stuff, but I'm guy-ish in my attitudes towards life. I mean, I'm not butch or anything, but I don't

believe in stuff like fluff and mushiness. My screenname best describes me....a girl next door who happens to be

more practical than anything else.

Anyway, I'll check out the posts by those names you mentioned. Hopefully

I'll find something there I can apply.

I could be wrong, but to me, you sound hard, and hard is ONLY

accepted in certain areas of life. If you're around people that aren't into what you're into, it just doesn't

work because like you, everyone has there idea on what they're friends are into, if that makes sense. I once judged

people according to my standards ... wroooooong! That kept my friend list short, but know lots of people that loves

my company. I haven't been a place that I haven't made a mark in which people are not glad to see me coming. I cut

out the judging people according to ME, and life has gotten better. Yudda Yudda Yudda

As fer da 'mones ... SOE

would be my bet. I've never heard any women talking about using WAGG, but that could be an experiment in itself!



As always, in my way of thinking ... In a LOT of cases, the problems is the reflection we see in the mirror.
I

reserve all rights to be wrong! :wave:

Good luck! :thumbsup:

[belgareth]

Thanks for

your help, Belgareth.

I'm twenty-something. Yeah I try to involve in activities, though it's hard sometimes

since I tend to be a little workaholic and always have some side projects of my own. For the most part my day is

filled, but just no friends in it. If I had friends I'd make time for them, but since I don't I try to keep busy

with activities.

As for the clingy/needy thing, no way! It goes against everything that defines me. I'm more

the independent type who finds neediness extremely unattractive.

I'm not exactly a tomboy since I'm not into

sports and stuff, but I'm guy-ish in my attitudes towards life. I mean, I'm not butch or anything, but I don't

believe in stuff like fluff and mushiness. My screenname best describes me....a girl next door who happens to be

more practical than anything else.

Anyway, I'll check out the posts by those names you mentioned. Hopefully

I'll find something there I can apply.

You sound like me in many ways. I'm a computer geek who spent

most of his life in a technical department with a bunch of other geeks. Even when they moved me into management I

didn't fit in well because of my mindset. Many of my other activities were solitary. I am a firm, uncompromising

person when it comes to my personal standards.

Starting my business was the best social move I made. I'm still

a workaholic and am working today. However, my work and social obligations have required me to meet more people, to

get out more and be involved in civic activities more. Guess what, I found I enjoy it and have a talent for it. The

mones have helped a lot but finding activities where I interact with people has been a boon to me.

You sound

like the type of woman that has always attracted me. My wife is a driven person with a lot of independence of her

own. I love it! It can intimidate a lot of people though. Keep that in mind.

[Gegogi]

I don't think it's your

pheromone signature. It's probably you. Pheromones help but 95% of who you are and how people perceive you is up to

you.

I spent most of my life by myself in a practiceroom grinding my axe. Classical musicians channel most of

our passion into music and forget to incorporate it into our lives. So, we tend to be dull socially to say the

least. Many of us neglected socialization skills most kids learn in secondary school. I still suffer from lone wolf

syndrone but, with years of practice, learned to turn it on and off. It's all about acting and projecting the

persona you want others to see, feel and hear.

I forced myself to get out and do social things: tennis,

dance, acting, hiking, church choir, etc. Each time I fell hopelessly on my face or felt leftout at some point. I

noted my mistakes, made adjustments and drove back in. Acting classes probably helped me the most as learning to

create a character had great benefits in my life. How you walk and carry yourself, use of your voice, facial

expressions, body language, etc., all shout who you are. Even if I felt like a loser, I could make myself appear to

be a friendly, confident and happy man. Those around me believed it, and eventually I did too. And people are

attracted to those qualities (and won't leave you along sometimes!).

[gamecity]

First off, I don't think most

of the people here are geeks. Actually I thought it was the opposite the first month I've been here. When you go to

a lot of sites that talks about seduction, picking up women or how to be a player, most of them will tell you to buy

pheromones. For some reason, a lot of the people in here have read a lot of those articles and have real experience

on picking up women in a bar or any place.

You are a girl, right? I don't know much about how girls hang out and

what they do but one of the best ways to get friends is to join a club in a college. Music club, swimming club,

volleyball, etc. I've never been to this kind of trouble though. I can't emphatize. I'm asian. When I went to

school, there was 30 other people in that school that came from my country. We hang out, talk, cheat of each other

and some developed romantic relationships.

I don't really know what to recommend to a girl for social

interactions. I don't really have experience for it. I use pheros to hook a girl. You should probably try the

women's forum for advice even though it's been dead lately, there are still lots of active women that

participate.

A suggestion I could make is date a guy with lots of friends. This is a great way to make friends or

hang out. My cousin met a guy with lots of friends and they always go skiing, swimming, and vegas a lot of times. Of

course they had money to spend and all. This is probably a bad way to meet friends. Most women I know, a soulmate is

all they need to be fully satisfied. Once they find a soulmate, they forget about their friends.

Edit: I think

you bring yourself down all the time. "Sad sad person", you shouldn't say that to yourself or else it will become a

self fulfilling prophesy. Always think about positive things or look at positive things.

[Sigma]

You are a girl,

right? I don't know much about how girls hang out and what they do but one of the best ways to get friends is to

join a club in a college. Music club, swimming club, volleyball, etc.

I agree. I joined a business frat

my sophomore year and have developed quite a bit both socially and professionally through my interaction with

various schoolmates and professionals. I was kind of a shy kid back in high school, and though I had a good group

of friends back in the day, I never did too well around people I wasn't comfortable around. Although joining this

frat isn't the only way that I better developed socially, I did develop my networking skills through being in this

frat, and made quite a few friends along the way. I attended various social and professional events, which allowed

me to interact with all sorts of people that I might not have on my own. I more or less forced myself into

situations that I felt awkward in, until after awhile, it all felt quite natural to me. Eventually I worked my way

up to president of the organization, constantly working with different people and speaking publically quite often,

and here I am now.

Shyness is more or less a defense mechanism for those who fear the awkwardness of being put

into social situations they aren't comfortable in. Though people by nature are social creatures and are usually

most content in the company of others, if the fear of socializing is too prevailing, one might find complacency in

keeping to themselves. Avoiding interaction with others is the best way to avoid social awkwardness after all.

Though pheromones generally give people a leg up socially, they will not alleviate the fear of social interaction.

They will however make people look more favorably upon you, which can help a person who is inherently shy in a

number of ways. 1. The fact that you're wearing them is a definate confidence booster, 2. they affect the way

you, as the wearer, feel 3. they make people much more receptive to you.

[a.k.a.]

I think most “geeks” are competent,

intelligent people that don’t get out much.
I was a complete looser before pheromones.(It wasn’t always this

way. Just how I turned out after ten years of marriage and 15 years of a dead end job.)
It took more than

pheromones to turn my life around, but pheromones made it a whole lot easier.

I wish I knew what

products to recommend, but I’m a guy and have little experience with women’s products. (All I know is that Pheromol

Factor seemed to work for my last girlfriend.)
I can only encourage you to experiment. I’ve found very few

products that DON’T make me more popular.

[Rbt]

One other possibility, as I look

back 30+ years from where I am now, is that many of the people around you may essentiall be in the same boat as you

are. They may be as equally "sad." Much is gained from experience over time. They may still be getting the hang of

socializing and getting used to opening up to others. Much of what I learned in college wasn't "booklearning." but

getting to know myself and learning social skills.

I recently made a statement about wishing that I knew "then"

what I know now. Getting over my reluctance and fear of socializing was a major part of that wish. Yes, it was a bit

of "geekishness." Now I know better. Like some of the others who replied above, it can take time and some effort. A

change in job, a change in attitude, a "just get out there and join in" effort. Mistakes will be made. Progress may

appear slow. Just try to advance one step at a time and you will eventually find yourself well along on your

journey.

[girlnextdoor]

Thanks everyone for the

replies! I feel much better now as most of you seem to understand the lonely outcast syndrome :lol:. In a weird way

I don't feel so alone now.

I guess I'll have to work on improving my socializing skills. The first step is

always hard but I'll have to somehow try it. On the bright side I did place my order for pheremones, and I can't

wait to get it! I'm hoping it will increase condfidence a tad and make people a little easier around me.

I did

have a question though...I ordered SOE as i heard this is a great socializing phero. But does it work on guys as

well? Most of the hits I've been reading about seem to make girls more chatty and friendly, but does it make guys

open up as well? I come in contact with mostly males in my sphere, so I want to give them buddy/pal vibe so they

feel comfortable to chat or joke with me. Guys are always weird around me because I'm neither a hot chick nor 'one

of the guys', so they don't really know how to treat me. They're just uptight :run:
I considered some of the

male products, but will it cause chicks to act crazy around me?

Also, I'm sending out resumes and want to

attract the employers to mine in particular, regardless of their sex. What's the best for this, SOE?

Thanks

again for all your help, I feel rejuvenated and excited about things now!

[Sigma]

Thanks

everyone for the replies! I feel much better now as most of you seem to understand the lonely outcast syndrome

:lol:. In a weird way I don't feel so alone now.

I guess I'll have to work on improving my socializing skills.

The first step is always hard but I'll have to somehow try it. On the bright side I did place my order for

pheremones, and I can't wait to get it! I'm hoping it will increase condfidence a tad and make people a little

easier around me.

I did have a question though...I ordered SOE as i heard this is a great socializing phero. But

does it work on guys as well? Most of the hits I've been reading about seem to make girls more chatty and friendly,

but does it make guys open up as well? I come in contact with mostly males in my sphere, so I want to give them

buddy/pal vibe so they feel comfortable to chat or joke with me. Guys are always weird around me because I'm

neither a hot chick nor 'one of the guys', so they don't really know how to treat me. They're just uptight

:run:
I considered some of the male products, but will it cause chicks to act crazy around me?

Also, I'm

sending out resumes and want to attract the employers to mine in particular, regardless of their sex. What's the

best for this, SOE?

Thanks again for all your help, I feel rejuvenated and excited about things now!



I'm definately looking forward to seeing your transformation after coming here...should be fun.

SOE is

probably the best route to go overall, but as far as women's products go, I can't help you too much. Definately

check out the women's forum for all the lady stuff. Just don't forget about us here :p

[tim929]

I think it might be important to

note that in alot of ways we all end up feeling alittle like the lonely outcast at some point in our lives.Tha

doesnt just apply to people here,but many of the people I know have had stretches that lasted years where their only

real scocial activity involved family.Many of my personal relationships(non-romantic) are of the "hit and run"

variety.I meet someone,scocialize with them for a time but bug out befor either they become tedious or I become

tedious to them.With so many things going on in peoples lives these days its difficult to carve out time for

work,family,responsabilities AND friends.So in many cases friends tend to suffer alittle bit.

People in

different parts of the country/world also tend to have a different attitudes towards meeting people and making

friends also.For example,I live in the Seattle area where people tend to keep to them selves and dont reach out to

strangers very easily.They tend to be closed and only realy communicate with people they know from work or school or

someone they were introduced to by a friend from work or school.When I travel to other parts of the state or to

different states,people tend to open up to me much more easily than they do at home.People in other areas seem

considerably more friendly and open.This is especialy true of a little town in Canada that I used to visit on a

regular basis.On several occasions I was able to meet women in passing at a retail establishment or resturaunt/pub

and ask them out and get a yes befor they even knew my name.Im no Brad whats-his-name or Bill Clinton...Im a

short,average looking bald guy who is friendly.The standards that they set on going out with someone are very

different than they are here.They understand that it doesnt mean that they have to be the mother of my children and

swear a blood oath to give thier souls to me at the end of the date.Its just a date....thats all...fun...nothing

more...unless it turns into more by mutual consent.

Understand also that in many cases men are very easily

intimidated by women.We can talk a good game about what studs we are and how women cant resist us,but when push

comes to shove,guys can be very shy and easily scared.The vibe that men may get from you is that you are "out of

thier league" or somehow "untouchable." I have seen interviews with women in Hollywood that complain that they cant

get dates.Men seem to think that these women wouldnt stoop to dating them and as a result they dont get hit on...and

in every case,it drives them nuts.Heather Locklear had a hell of a time getting dates because she played a bitch on

TV and guys would assume that she was on in real life too...even though she was a babe she had a hell of a time.



Without knowing you it would be impossible for me to judge weather or not you project an intimidating presence,but

considering that most women dramaticly underrate themselves,its a safe bet that guys may consider you to be "out of

thier league," or that you outclass them intelectualy...guys always get kinda skitish about that.And women find it

threatening and will tend to avoid it too.

Okay...thats my two and half cents worth...the doctors want me to

take my meds and be a good boy now so I will leave it at that:LOL:

[Gegogi]

I'm originally from the Seattle

area and the natives are much more friendly in Hawaii. It's really like a different country from the PacNW.

[tim929]

The PacNW IS a different country

than the rest of civilization.People here are so closed and unscocial that a guy like me has to travel in order to

flourish.My point to girlnextdoor is that it happens in many regions of not only the States...but all over the

world.Some places are just friendlier than others.If the case where she lives is that people are just very

closed,she is gonna have a tough time meeting anyone no matter what.On the plus side however,a nice dose of the

right pheromone product should help open people up alittle and make things go alittle smoother.

[gamecity]

try products with copulins for

socializing with women. I suggest pcc.

[girlnextdoor]

Without

knowing you it would be impossible for me to judge weather or not you project an intimidating presence,but

considering that most women dramaticly underrate themselves,its a safe bet that guys may consider you to be "out of

thier league," or that you outclass them intelectualy...guys always get kinda skitish about that.And women find it

threatening and will tend to avoid it too.

Okay...thats my two and half cents worth...the doctors want me to

take my meds and be a good boy now so I will leave it at that:LOL:


Thanks Tim. No, I live in a pretty

friendly town, so it's definitely an issue with me. I suppose I fit the typical profile of a loner.

As for me

scaring away guys, hahaha, that's a joke. I'm pretty mousy, and probably look like a 6 on my best day.

No,

it's definitely a personality issue, and I'm glad you brought it up. I definitely need to work on it. It would be

a good idea to get a personality development book.

[girlnextdoor]

I'm

definately looking forward to seeing your transformation after coming here...should be fun.

SOE is probably the

best route to go overall, but as far as women's products go, I can't help you too much. Definately check out the

women's forum for all the lady stuff. Just don't forget about us here :p

I'm definitely looking

forward to transforming as well! Did any of you folks go through a major tranformation and become super-studs? It

would be nice to see the changes of a loser turned into god.

[Gegogi]

I wish! I actually was doing

pretty good BP (before pheromones). However, they have helped enhance the social, professional and sexual aspects of

my life, so I'm happy. The improved responses inspired me to enhance other aspects of my life, e.g., workout

regularly, new wardrobe, new car, take more risks, get out and have fun, etc. It's like a feedback loop: the more

confidence you get, the more successful you become, the more successful you get, the more confidence you you become,

etc.

However, I'm afraid 'mones are kind of like a new guitar. A guitar may have beautiful workmanship and

killer sound but you still have to do a lot of practice and study to squeeze worthwhile music out of it. So dabbing

a little EW behind your ears won't make cute guys drop from the ceiling on you. You gotta work your stuff to the

full potential. The 'mones can only enhance the energy and actions you project.