seduceme
02-02-2006, 08:35 AM
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language
of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the
British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should
klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after
ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil
al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the
British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should
klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after
ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil
al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.