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View Full Version : 46 Years Old And Still A Dweeb



InternationalPlayboy
11-03-2005, 11:55 AM
Ok, probably shouldn't post this one, but I just spazz out sometimes.

Was on vacation for a

week in San Diego. Part of the purpose of the trip was a combination 20 year/10 year anniversary with a woman I know

there and also a late birthday celebration for myself. The Saturday after I arrived, I was greeted by my friend with

French Champagne and birthday gifts, then we went out on the town. Saw "Mamma Mia!" (great show), then headed for

the House of Blues for some dancing. Really tore it up. I still laugh at the image of the 60-something percussionist

in the band performing. He was so taken by my date that he jumped onto the dance floor and shook his maracas at

hers. It was a great time and worked off a lot of built up stress for both of us. :cheers:

The following

saturday, I'm to head back home to the sticks, but stopped at my friend's place to help her with her "new"

computer (a used Compaq with Windows 98 that someone had given her). I quickly fell into my natural nerd state and

set her up and even got her a working Internet connection. To reward me for my efforts, she took me out for dinner.

It was almost 9 PM and I still had a three hour drive facing me to get home. She was headed to a mountain resort

area near L.A., where she owns a cabin. Between there and her home, she owns a house in a fairly new community,

which she bought on speculation, about a 40 minute drive from her home near San Diego. Her plan was to drive to that

house that night, then make the rest of the trip to her cabin the next day.

At the restaurant, she suggested

that instead of making the long drive home, that I should follow her to her other place and stay there for the

night. :thumbsup: I was all for that, so we went back to her place and packed up her car. As we were preparing to

leave, she asked if I wanted written directions, which I then said would be a good idea. She decided I just needed

her cell number and I could call her if I got lost.

I don't see well driving in the dark, and I have to

concentrate on not running into things while blinded by oncomming traffic. It didn't dawn on me that I would have

problems following another vehicle. Well, between her house and the first main street in her community are two

four-way stop signs. Between the first stop and the second one, a vehicle got between us. The second stop was below

the crest of a hill, and by the time I got through, she was nowhere to be found. I headed the direction I thought we

were to go, but didn't see her anywhere and doubled back. Stopping, I tried her cell phone, and she didn't answer.

So I left my number as a page and a voice message. Tried a couple of times after that but never got through. I had

three options. Get a motel and drive home the next day, head to the town her other house was located at, which was

so new, it wasn't on any of my maps, or start for home. I didn't want to spend the money on a room and if I headed

to the other town, I still didn't have an address, so would still be lost once I got there, so I headed for home,

arriving around 1:30 AM. :sad:

Not only was I disappointed as this was the first time she suggested that I

stay at her place, but I didn't even get a proper goodbye after all of the good time we had that week. When I

finally got ahold of her a few days later, I learned the details on how this comedy of errors happened. She had left

her cell phone at home and taken her work phone instead. That's the one number I didn't call. She then told me

that she had heard the messages I had left, but I didn't leave a number for her to call me! :frustrate (I just

assumed she had her cell and that it would generate my number, besides, I did leave it in a page - to her cell.) She

said that she had waited at the gas station she had pointed out as we returned from the restaurant. Admittedly, I

didn't pay much attention at that time as I was driving and concentrating on not running into things. I did drive

in that direction but never saw her vehicle. Again, my eyes aren't that good at night anymore and I can't drive

and sightsee at the same time.

She was on the freeway in traffic (returning from her cabin) and cut the call

short, so I still don't feel I have lose ends tied up. I want to call but am trying to wait a week or two so I

don't appear as needy, or bothersome. Hopefully, she'll call soon with computer questions.

I guess it just

wasn't meant to happen that night. I think the cosmos were guiding me back home as I had a teleconference the next

morning for a moneymaking venture that I'm excited about and would have missed the call if I hadn't returned. And

I'm glad I made the conference as it's going to be a bit harder to learn than I thought it would be.



Suffering from regular bouts of low self-esteem and anxiety, I'm probably making this to be worse in my

mind that it actually is. My rational mind tells me that this won't hurt a 10 year old friendship that much, but

the anxious chatter says otherwise. Interestingly, I thought it kind of ironic in symbolism. She has started with

Toastmasters and is really enjoying it. She has aspirations in starting a new carreer as a motivational speaker,

which, giving her personality, I think she could really be successful at. Feeling stagnated right now in life, I

have a feeling she won't be around much longer and I have visions of her leaving me behind in a cloud of dust.

Funny that it actually happened last weekend.

DrSmellThis
11-03-2005, 04:56 PM
Sense of Humor.

NaughtieGirl
11-03-2005, 05:51 PM
Sense of

Humor.

Yep, you can actually turn it to your advantage by laughing and joking about it. It even provides

an excuse for getting back in touch. I think most people appreciate someone who doesn't take himself too seriously

and can laugh at himself/herself once in a while.

InternationalPlayboy
11-03-2005, 05:55 PM
Sense of Humor.

:think:

The Cosmos' sense of humor, or I need a sense of

humor? It is actually funny when I'm not kicking myself for not thinking to give my phone number. Especially when

you think about the fact that I was playing the role of computer nerd earlier that evening and then had this

experience.

It's not the worst thing that's happened while with her. I'll have to relate the story

sometime where I was exiled to sea in a rubber boat by a drunken sailor. :D (Long story, but it involved trespassing

on a private Yacht Club dock after freeloading in the bay to listen to a John Lee Hooker concert at an adjacent

outdoor nightclub.)

A couple of days before I rolled into town, she received a phone call addressing her as

Mrs. "InternationalPlayboy." It was a wrong number but the coincidence freaked her out a little knowing I was to

arrive in a day or two. As cool as that sounds when I think of it, and I've thought of that a lot, I think I'd be

dead in a month, trying to keep up with her energy. :)

DrSmellThis
11-03-2005, 06:07 PM
The key to everything in that

situation, IMHO, is your sense of humor; and to treat the whole situation in a light hearted manner. I meant that as

sort of a mantra to say to yourself. You probably want to kid her in a gentle way about it all, and be willing to

kid yourself and enjoy a good ribbing as well. No biggie. Your long post was evidence of viewing some things with

too much gravity.

InternationalPlayboy
11-03-2005, 06:07 PM
Yep, you can actually turn it to your advantage by laughing and joking about it. It even

provides an excuse for getting back in touch. I think most people appreciate someone who doesn't take himself too

seriously and can laugh at himself/herself once in a while.

Thanks NaughtieGirl, you posted this

while I was typing. I was hoping to hear a woman's perspective on this. My mind chatter, even after 6 years of

meditation practice, often makes mountains out of molehills.

InternationalPlayboy
11-03-2005, 06:10 PM
The key to everything in that situation, IMHO, is your sense of humor; and to treat the whole

situation in a light hearted manner. I meant that as sort of a mantra to say to yourself. You probably want to kid

her in a gentle way about it all, and be willing to kid yourself and enjoy a good ribbing as well. No biggie.

Your long post was evidence of viewing some things with too much gravity.

Thanks Doc, you've

got me pegged on that one.

koolking1
11-04-2005, 02:19 PM
I think I would call her

and tell her that I was really looking forward to spending the evening with her and that you still want to and

soon!! You may come across as "needy" or you may come across as "really desiring her", at least you'll know where

you stand and can go on from there. 46 - better get a move on, if you want her, tell her.