Mtnjim
09-23-2005, 04:14 PM
A hurricane came up
unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. A man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other
people, no supplies, nothing. The only food he could find were bananas and coconuts. Used to 5 star hotels, this
guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and longed for his old
life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he
spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever
seen. She rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I
rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he
said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with
you!"
"It's only me," she said, "And the rowboat didn't wash up: nothing did."
He was confused. "Then
how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh simple," replied the woman, "I made the rowboat out of materials that I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the
sides and stern cane from a Eucalyptus tree."
"B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no
tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of
the island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain
temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make
the hardware." But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"
Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been
sleeping on the beach the whole time. "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she suggested.
After a few
minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to the shore, he nearly fell out of the
boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied
up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into
the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like a drink?"
"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed. "I can't take anymore coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice,"
the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his amazement, the man
accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced,
"I'm going to slip into something a little more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is
a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the
bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were
fastened onto it's end inside a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he mused. "What next?"
When
he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines - strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of
gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering
closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you
really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stared
into his eyes.
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean--?" he replied, "I can check my e-mail
from here?"
unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. A man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other
people, no supplies, nothing. The only food he could find were bananas and coconuts. Used to 5 star hotels, this
guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and longed for his old
life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he
spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever
seen. She rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I
rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he
said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with
you!"
"It's only me," she said, "And the rowboat didn't wash up: nothing did."
He was confused. "Then
how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh simple," replied the woman, "I made the rowboat out of materials that I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the
sides and stern cane from a Eucalyptus tree."
"B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no
tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of
the island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain
temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make
the hardware." But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"
Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been
sleeping on the beach the whole time. "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she suggested.
After a few
minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to the shore, he nearly fell out of the
boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied
up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into
the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like a drink?"
"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed. "I can't take anymore coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice,"
the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his amazement, the man
accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced,
"I'm going to slip into something a little more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is
a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the
bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were
fastened onto it's end inside a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he mused. "What next?"
When
he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines - strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of
gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering
closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you
really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stared
into his eyes.
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean--?" he replied, "I can check my e-mail
from here?"