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MOBLEYC57
04-11-2005, 09:28 AM
... those

senior moments! :box:

ACT I: Three old guys are out walking.

First one says, "Windy, isn't

it?"

Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"

Third one says, "Great! So am I! Let's go get a beer."



ACT II: A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand

dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"



"Twelve thirty," he responded.

ACT III: Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a

physical.

A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his

arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"



Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I

didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"

ACT IV: A little old man

shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his

breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied,

"arthritis."


Have a great Monday! :thumbsup:

MOBLEYC57
04-25-2005, 03:25 PM
An old man,

Mr. Ericson, was living the last of his life in a Nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.

Nurse Hay asked if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Hay," said Mr. Ericson, "My penis died today, and I am

very sad."

Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry,

Mr. Ericson, please accept my condolences.

The following day, Mr. Ericson was walking down the hall with his

penis hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Hay.

"Mr. Ericson," she said, "You shouldn't be walking

down the hall like this. Please put your penis back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Hay," replied Mr. Ericson,

"I told you yesterday that my penis died."

"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your

pajamas?" asked Nurse Hay.

"Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing.":whip: