Ross Jeffries and speed seduction

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Has anyone tried Ross jeffries\' home study course yet? Im thinking of getting it, mainly to use on my girlfriend. She decided that she wanted relatonship building with us and being influenced by the book \"men are from mars, woman are from venus\" she slapped a sex ban on our relatinship. It was meant to only last 1 year but that one year has now lasted nearly 17 months, (perhaps she cannot count , lol). Anyway I do love her and I want a sexual relationship again, I am not interested in anyone else. If anyone has tried the home study course I would be most grateful to heat their thoughts.

Thanks

Paul c

[Whitehall]

A 17 month sex ban! Excuse me for telling you this, but you\'re either a doormat or a Mormon.

What\'s love got to do with it? That\'s a rhetorical question that you should explore. A biologist would say that love is just a way of securing sex - getting it, keeping it, and protecting the progeny from it. Love\'s a good thing when used properly - a disease when used wrongly.

Are you sacrificing yourself for this love or are you being put on hold pending her search for a better man? Perhaps you\'re putting up with no putting out because you\'re ego is too fragile to risk finding a more responsive woman?

My advice is get some of these pheromones, learn how to use them, then go out and flirt up a storm with other women. Let your woman know that you\'re not her lap dog. Find the right good, hot, juicy woman and you\'ll get interested in someone else quickly, I promise. Possibly, your current non-squeeze might show a bit more flexibility.

Remember, there are 3 BILLION women on this planet. If one\'s not treating you right, the operative word is \"Next!\"

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'m totally congratulating paul c. for staying this long! Many men are like dogs who are just looking for sex and will do it with anyone anytime but you are not one of them. There\'s nothing wrong with being able to stay in a relationship with a 17-month sex ban but of course you want to do it again because you purely love her and it\'s been proven by staying this long. And that\'s what sex is supposed to be... (done for love) and not just for temporary pleasure. I believe that flirting with other girls is not the best advice for you.
What i can suggest is get an idea if this ban would ever end. Ask her if it will still be this way if you\'re already married. that way she\'ll be able to give you answers that will give you an idea if this is gonna end soon or never. If you ask her to make love with you again, she might feel uncomfortable and it will just make the ban longer. Just give her a slight message that you miss what you\'ve been doing before and just let her feel the urge by herself and hopefully it will just flow. The best thing about this is that you never begged, it will appear as if she gave in and you\'ll be able to retain all of your self-respect.

If you believe in a biologist talking about love, you are either an alien or a pagan.

[ November 28, 2001: Message edited by: Redcapp ]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

My first question is, why did she ask for the year w/o sex in the first place?

\'Fraid I have to go with the group on this one, there\'s a very good chance she\'s out looking for someone else and just sticking with you for the stability (I personally know *lots* of girls who make a habit of this)

Putting the pressure on, if you can manage to do it, is definitely one way to resolve the situation and find out her intentions.. I wish you the best of luck... images/icons/frown.gif

[oscar]

paul c,

In what way has her (presumably unilateral) decision to withold sex been beneficial to your relationship?

Oscar images/icons/crazy.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I don\'t want to give bad advice, but unless you think you are going to marry this girl in the next year or two, I\'d be looking for options. You are both pretty young. Plenty of options out there. But if you are into playing tea party / pretend family, enjoy. images/icons/crazy.gif

[PHP 87]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=\"1\" face=\"Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif\">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by paul c:
Has anyone tried Ross jeffries\' home study course yet? Im thinking of getting it, mainly to use on my girlfriend. She decided that she wanted relatonship building with us and being influenced by the book \"men are from mars, woman are from venus\" she slapped a sex ban on our relatinship. It was meant to only last 1 year but that one year has now lasted nearly 17 months, (perhaps she cannot count , lol). Anyway I do love her and I want a sexual relationship again, I am not interested in anyone else. If anyone has tried the home study course I would be most grateful to heat their thoughts.

Thanks

Paul c<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


If this girl hasn\'t had sex with you in 17 months, I honestly believe she doesn\'t love you.

And tools like Speed Seduction or Pheromones generally work much better on people you\'ve just met than someone you have been in a relationship with.

If Ross were here, he\'d tell you to dump this girl and use SS to find a better one.

Sorry to be so blunt, but someone who would withold sex from you for 17 months is not someone you are going to be happily married to.

And she is withholding sex because thru your behavior you are allowing her to do so.

You have already given her all the power in the relationship and she knows she can use sex as a weapon against you at any time.

Is your self-esteem and self-confidence so low that you would settle for someone so manipulative and so uncaring and selfish?

As someone else said, go flirt with other women - if she fears losing you, she may come around, but if you continue to be a doormat, her behavior won\'t change.

If you still want to try an salvage this relationship, I believe Ross also sells a book/tape called \"Build a better girlfriend\"

You may want to look into that in place of or in addition to the Basic Home Study course.

The Basic Home Study course is more geared toward seducing women you have just met.

I bought the Basic home course to try to salvage a failing relationship - of course, it didn\'t work because the relationship was broken, but some of the stuff I learned has helped me greatly in my future relationships with women.

I bet once your self-confidence and self-esteem improves, you suddenly won\'t be so interested in a sexless relationship.

Good luck Bro.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Ooooh a toughy do women really only want sex with a man when his showing an interest. I dont know the circumstances but really she may be looking for someone else, you might need to watch her other behaviour you know around other men etc.

Is she flirting with others or has she eyes only for you. Maybe ask her to marry you now theres an idea ask her for her hand in marraige and see if she says yes or defers or says no outright. Watch her response on this one. That will give you a good idea if she wants you long term or short term just to get something better and use you as a doormat.

Also how hard and how much effort has she been putting into this relationship building you talk of, she did say a year and its now a year and a half, you can take all this different advice or ignore it. Get a better idea. Learn NLP as well thats where ross jeffries pulls his ideas from, he is a master when NLP comes into play he adapted it to speed seduction. Surprise suprise, talk to her about a whole range of things, get her feedback. The relationship, the direction she wants to take it, her views on sex marraige children etc, other men. You should be able to get a better idea. If she refuses to talk then shes blocking it and you could very well be being used until something better comes along in such case reevalute your position and come to any decision.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

ANother add on there, its ok to give in the relationship but it is a two way thing if shes using you and taking all your efforts and not returning them then you may be hurt long term. I can get a good idea on how a woman is going to be long term by watching their behaviour around her friends other males etc. They may be watching me but their attitude is men are dogs and only want one thing and they think they can get away with behaving any way they want and men wont even know whats going on. Difference is with me im prepared to wait (still a virgin here.) so im watchign and waiting for the right person to come along.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Hi Paul C, PHP 87, all,

17 Months? Ow! images/icons/frown.gif
Ross would...never mind.
Actually, here is some SS for free.

While you have fun meeting many other MUCH BETTER women and people in general,

read the book she \"blames\" this warped
behavior on and find out what caused her
to do this.

What has to happen for us to go back to normal or even better than it was.

Open Communication is critical!
AKA might be right here.

She is either cheating on you, or Oops! caught something and maybe she
really does love you and wants to protect you or she is playing you for a fool to test you.

Or she is sabotaging whatever you had together. Is she self destructivein other areas?
Has good grades and then cuts class and and then barely passes?
Has a good job and then after a while shows up late or not at all?

Don\'t let people or society or religion try to limit you and mistreat you this way!
How do bosses, teachers treat you?

\"Well, I\'ve been paying you for a year now but I\'m going to with hold your wages for a year or even 17 months because I really like you. You\'re my best employee.\"

Wouldn\'t you laugh in his or her face or yell and LOOK for a NEW job right away!
I thought so.

And why would you want kids already. Have a life and gain some exxperience and wisdom first. IT could make all the difference in the world!!!!

Pheromones and SS to your rescue,
Mike2velli images/icons/laugh.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Re: Mike2velli--

I\'m not sure how popular this opinion is, but sex is *not* essential to a relationship! Dating does not require her to agree to sex with you.. trust me, relationships can work very well without sex!

I also understand how enjoyable sex is, and how it can sometimes enhance a relationship. But in the same way you say that he has the rest of his life to have children, you don\'t suddenly have to become celibate at some point in your life!

The thing about this thread that concerns me is the sudden change in willingness, not simply the lack of... But you are certanly young enough to feel free to pursue other options if her stance is not acceptable- and it\'s about how you feel about it, not what everyone else here says! images/icons/smile.gif

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Morsel,

I know that it\'s always dangerous to generalize about any group of people because people don\'t fit neatly into a mold. Having said that I am aware generalizing is dangerous, I do need to say something about my understanding of men in general. images/icons/laugh.gif

That act of making love to a woman seems to open a door for many men where they are able to get in touch with deep feelings of love, tenderness, gentleness, etc. The book \"men are from mars\" actually talks about that and I\'ve found it to be very true for me. While I am a very affectionate person and I do feel love, when I make love to a woman whom I\'m in love with, I experience these feelings to a much greater degree.

Therefore, I believe sex to be very important to a relationship. It\'s the thing that really brings the relationship close together. Barring physical impairments preventing sex, I don\'t think any non-sexual relationship can possibly be as fulfilling for a man as a relationship between two sexually compatible people who are in love.

Life is too short to \"settle\" in a relationship where you are not fulfilled. My advice is for him to decide how important sexual intimacy is to him and then do what he has to to be happy.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I\'m 100% with you on the recommendation, but I suppose my understanding of the opposite sex is a bit lacking! Hopefully, my time here will help me out with that... I appreciate anyone\'s attempts to humor me in this area!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Might as well pipe in. 17 months seems like a long time. And the reason, that I can figure, is a book. I have not read the book, so I could be at a loss, but I am willing to put forth my opinion. If you had a sexual relationship before The Book, did the relationship get any better when the ban was imposed? Why at 12 months didn?t you make a point of having a Talk. And the last thing I will offer is that even though it can be annoying, excrutiating, or many other adjectives, how much communication goes on? After 17 months, I figure you know the person. Talking should be second nature, well, you know. But, really, it sounds like friends not lovers. But, what the hell do I know.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Yeah 17 months is long, but im stepping into dangerous territory but women seem to use sex as power, but that can be bad for a mans ego so ladies tread carefully, you have power but like us phero induced males use it wisley and with a bit of compassion it is essential for any relationship to have intimacy and with lack of it is headed for bad territory just my additional thoughts here.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

You\'re right DD!
Can you imagine? one of my girlfriends before wouldn\'t have sex with me sometimes until after i finished doing her homework? Guess what I did?
..... well I was young back then and i was horny and i didn\'t know things about true love.... OKAY, OKAY! enough excuses.
.... I finished all her homeworks. images/icons/mad.gif

[Whitehall]

Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but if sex is NOT involved then it ain\'t a date or a \"relationship\"; it\'s a friendship or something else. Maybe there\'s a near term promise but 12 or 17 months isn\'t exactly near-term.
What I do if a woman denies a sexual aspect to our contacts, is insist we go Dutch on any dates or other mutual expenses. And if I\'m in a committed relationship and the woman limits or eliminates satisfying sexual contacts, then I feel justified to opening my self to sex with other women - no woman is going to unilaterally declare me celibrate. No MAN should either.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I still agree with morselchip\'s principle. Relationships can survive without sex. If you want sex in your relationship, and you\'re ready for a serious commitment, have you ever thought of marriage?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Whitehall is absolutely right. Sex it´s a natural consequence of a relationship between a man and a woman and I don´t even consider the other way. The problem with Paul\'s girlfriend must rely in a lack sexual desire that she disguised as whatever reason was most appropriate. 17 months is too much by any standards, you must try to discover what or who is blocking her libido.
My 2 cents

[**DONOTDELETE**]

To sum all this up my approach would be to say to her about seeing other people or taking a break from each other, see what the response is be prepared for her to leave you though if that is what her direction is.

But it will show you exactly what her real attitude is force the issue by forcing her to make a decision either way.

Watch for the bullshit to fly maybe if she settles down and is committed to you you will know for sure by her response or lack thereof.

[Lutz]

I don\'t know anything about this matter, but since this thread has been posted in this forum, Paul, you have tried out the pheromones, I presume?

Going back to Paul\'s original question, \"Has anyone tried Ross jeffries\' home study course yet?\" Sounds interesting to me. If my next pheromone attempt fails (just like the ones before images/icons/shocked.gif ), I, too, might try that one...

[ December 02, 2001: Message edited by: Lutz ]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I for one will not anymore be used in any games by anyone or emotionally used, with any female its well if you start using me and playing with my mind and my heart then i will take defensive action to solve the problem. Through using this stuff ive had to become strong mentally and emotionally and its helped me get through a lot of shit.

Morsel CJ ANnamaree femmme what are your thoughts on this am i right or am i being selfish or an egotistic male. Being able to protect myself from harm if im giving myself to the other person and not reciveing it in return. Just thought id add it seeing the topci of the thread.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Some replies:

Whitehall,

It\'s not a date unless there is sex involved? That seems a little pushy... I hope the women you date are aware of your little policy! I have found that having sex before you know someone will eventually lead someone to be very hurt.
DD, that\'s not selfish at all, that\'s a stance everyone should be strong enough to take- it would certanly save alot of people from hurt if they were able to recognize and stop emotional games early on. As for the conclusion, I totally agree!


-morsel

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Could be dangerous territory whitehall going into this territory, yes women do use us guys for fun sometimes (expolitive) but it is possible to pick up what she is thinking (NLP) and if the outcome isnt what you want dont waste your resources chasing that lead. To most males out there you should pay attention to that point but society doesnt think first then act or really pay attention to what is going on. My proactive nature sets me aside from most people so thats just me. Morsel im nice enough about it, if she isnt putting out then i subtley and quickly redefine the nature of the date interaction whatever term needs to be applied and if im after something more then i quickly rap it up or if i am just after some company then i will put it into the social outing friendship basket and have fun just as \"FRIENDS\" society seems a bit obsessed with sex. Just the overactive reward systems of most people and the over emotional nature of the vast majority of the populace.

[Whitehall]

Ms. Morselchip,

Let me clarify a bit. \"Dating\" is about romance and love - if you\'re on a date, exploring the PROSPECT of sex (sooner or later) between the woman and the man is the intent.

If I take a woman out for lunch to discuss local politics or because she\'s trying to sell me computers, it isn\'t a date, it\'s a meeting. No, I don\'t expect the sex act just because its a date and a woman certainly doesn\'t commit to having sex just by accepting an offer to a date, but if a woman makes it clear that there are no romantic prospects (i.e. \"No way, Jose\"), then a social occassion between us is not a date. Women sometimes expect to be treated to dates even though they refuse to even consider the male as a sex partner - that\'s dishonest and exploitive in my book.

I don\'t think that\'s pushy, just clear-eyed, realistic, and protective of MY interests. Women always have the right to say \"No\" - they just shouldn\'t pretend that they might say \"yes.\"