What are the best 1st approaches, and best topics of conversation once you've broken

[Sigfreed]

What are the best 1st approaches, and best topics of conversation

once you've broken the ice?

Usually when I see someone I'd like to approach depending on where I am or what I

am doing, and what they are doing I look for things to comment on.

For example if they are wearing an

interesting piece of jewelry, a nice outfit or a particular book they are reading I will comment on it and try to

start a conversation.


Now once you've broken the ice what do you guys think the best topics of conversation

are to get them interested? Ppl always tell me not to discuss work or school b/c it's boring and they want to

escape that.

Yet the funny thing is sometimes when I walk by 2 ppl talking and obviously flirting with

eachother I over hear them discussing work and/or school with positive feedback?

So should I be talking about

work/school?

Normally I w/o talking too much about myself (unless they ask of course) I try to find out as much

as I can about them. Their likes, dislikes, hobbies, family and if it the mood is right and the conversation turns

personal that's even better. I try to make sure they know I'm listening and paying close attention to them. And if

it's appropriate, I will try to lightly touch them in some way to let them know I'm interested.

If it's a

woman I see on a regular basis what's the best way to keep things interesting? If you've already learned things

about her and even personally, than what types of things could you discuss to avoid getting boring?

As you know

I'm trying to get my game back on after having been with one hottie for almost 3 years so I just want to make sure

I'm doing the proper things.

Should I ask these questions in the women's forum? I'd like to hear their

opinions in what get's them interested during conversation.

Thanks for your time.

If you've already

[ManBeast]

Keep them talking about

themselves. So each girl is going to be different. As will each general locale I believe. It does pay to "know your

environment."

MB

[Sigfreed]

ManBeast



Keep

them talking about themselves. So each girl is going to be different. As will each general locale I believe. It does

pay to "know your environment."

MB
That's what I've always thought, said and done. Don't talk about

yourself too much unless they ask.

Belgareth? Pancho? DrSmellThis or any females any other thoughts regarding

this topic?

I think this is an excellent topic of discussion.

[Icarus]

It's gotta be equal... If you are

just talking about her, you could come off as a little too eager to please, wannabe mysterious, or just simply

devoid of personality. And you also run the risk of establishing a precedent in which her personality dominates

(her views and stances being those that are most important) You also want her to be able to get to know you. If you

only talk about her, she can only make assumptions about you. Some of which may be accurate, but some of which may

in fact lead to you being placed in your hated 'nice asexual guy' bracket.


I am not actually a fan of trying

to establish a standard conversation system. If you can't talk to a girl naturally: finding subjects of mutual

interest, then the chances are that the only thing you could take from the relationship would be sex. Since I

really dont know what you are looking for, (knowing that you have recently come out of a long term relationship with

a hottie) you may be happy to have some good old casual sex.

The only advice I could offer (since this stuff

can't really be taught, just learned by oneself - and I imagine you already have good skills in this area,

considering the trackrecord that you have given!) is that you should have pastimes, hobbies and strong views.

Passion about things will provide you with endless topics of converation, many of which may be shared! However, in

the same breath, you should avoid any areas of narcissims or piosness. Obvious, really... but self importance in

the guise of confidence is a huge turn off!

Fact is, it's a cliche. Different strokes for different folks.

Talking about school/work may make one girl happy (on a level of establishing personal knowledge) while another may

thrive on dicussing any/all sports that you both watch/participate in. Politics can divide an entire room full of

girls into some thinking you are a dull, overopinionated blowhard; a concerned and interesting being; an activist

etc etc etc.... Travel us usualy a hit, but can leave some people cold. (especially if you've never left your

hometown! ;) )

So long as you are interesting and have things going on in your life, conversation will come

easy!

Good luck

Steve

[Sigfreed]

It's gotta be

equal... If you are just talking about her, you could come off as a little too eager to please, wannabe mysterious,

or just simply devoid of personality. And you also run the risk of establishing a precedent in which her personality

dominates (her views and stances being those that are most important) You also want her to be able to get to know

you. If you only talk about her, she can only make assumptions about you. Some of which may be accurate, but some of

which may in fact lead to you being placed in your hated 'nice asexual guy' bracket.


I am not actually a

fan of trying to establish a standard conversation system. If you can't talk to a girl naturally: finding subjects

of mutual interest, then the chances are that the only thing you could take from the relationship would be sex.

Since I really dont know what you are looking for, (knowing that you have recently come out of a long term

relationship with a hottie) you may be happy to have some good old casual sex.

The only advice I could offer

(since this stuff can't really be taught, just learned by oneself - and I imagine you already have good skills in

this area, considering the trackrecord that you have given!) is that you should have pastimes, hobbies and strong

views. Passion about things will provide you with endless topics of converation, many of which may be shared!

However, in the same breath, you should avoid any areas of narcissims or piosness. Obvious, really... but self

importance in the guise of confidence is a huge turn off!

Fact is, it's a cliche. Different strokes for

different folks. Talking about school/work may make one girl happy (on a level of establishing personal knowledge)

while another may thrive on dicussing any/all sports that you both watch/participate in. Politics can divide an

entire room full of girls into some thinking you are a dull, overopinionated blowhard; a concerned and interesting

being; an activist etc etc etc.... Travel us usualy a hit, but can leave some people cold. (especially if you've

never left your hometown! ;) )

So long as you are interesting and have things going on in your life,

conversation will come easy!

Good luck

Steve
Well I always make sure I let them get to know me. I

just make sure I don't ramble on about myself the way I did when I was 18.

Well as I've said, being honest

I've been with 12 women between 18yrs and 27yrs of age. As you can see I tend to go for the long term deal or as

long as we get along. I've had some one night stands but never by choice. I prefer dating ppl.

But maybe at

this point I need some casual sex just for some release. Don't get me wrong, I usually develop some sort of

feelings for someone I'm sleeping with and usually want to be at least friends with them and maybe more depending

on where things go.

But I'm eventually looking to get together with the right hottie. Someone who just wants me

for me, but maybe you're right for now I could just need some release.

So as for topics of conversation you say

personal interests and traveling are great for starters?

That's what I always use. I agree talking about

traveling could become cold, but I usually let them know where I've been and haven't been and importantly where I

want to go.

Other than these 2 topics what else would you say is good to use?
You are right that talking about

work/school with the right person may do just the trick, but you can usually tell within the first 5mins if they

find that to be boring.

Do any of you depending on where you get with the conversation or if it takes repeated

conversations to get to the level of talking about sex and making sexual jokes?

If it's the right mood and

I've reaced that level with the woman, I've had great sucess making sexual jokes (nothing too inapprorpiate) but

just enough to let my prescence as a sexual being be known.

Thanks, how about some female insight?

[seduceme]

Get her talking about herself

is only good in the context of you leading and setting a frame for her to interact with and qualify herself for you.



For example 'Hi you look like the adventerous type, whats the most adventerous thing youve ever

done?'

"Oh once I bungeejumped in the niagrafalls and blah blah blah"

"Oh REALLY? *smile, kino(that

means to touch her you geniuses)* well im looking to meet a girl thats spontaneous, my ex would surprise me all the

time with new and exciting things to do"

"well this one time at bandcamp blah blah blah im qualifying myself

for you you handsome stud"

"ReallY? wow I dont like bungeejump, but I like you so I guess its allright *more

sexual state, escalate keep at it with her qualifying herself*"

[seduceme]

If it's the

right mood and I've reaced that level with the woman, I've had great sucess making sexual jokes (nothing too

inapprorpiate) but just enough to let my prescence as a sexual being be known.

Then try this, right

off the bat tell her "You seem like a cool girl, but im looking for a girl that I can use to get to her hot

girlfriends so if you havent gotten any I cant hang with you"

if she's receptive, "allright well what I

really need is someone who isnt so uptight about her sexuality, that I can trust wont reveal anything to anyone as

with me, all these girls nowadays have all these presumptions and are so uptight I want to meet a laidback girl"



Still receptive ask her "So are you the adventerous type if you arent I cant be with you"

9 times

out of 10 if youve come this far she will start spilling her sexual fantasies. Seriously, this takes 30 secs, 30

seconds with a strange girl and she is already spilling her deepest inner sexual fantasies that I bet none of her

boyfriends ever knew!! Sick but powerful..

[wood elf]

Any woman with any self respect

at all would laugh at you and walk away.

[Holmes]

Any woman with any

self respect at all would laugh at you and walk away.

That's how much of David DeAngelo's material

strikes me, even after a closer look.

My first thought was, would anyone I know--anybody with brain

one--buy into that?

Unless they are just so smitten by your Greek godliness.

[DrSmellThis]

Yeah, you have to consider the

actual reality of what is being said/done, and what that means to a person who is listening carefully.

I

believe something has to fly in real relationship terms first. Then, it might be improved upon a bit with

"good seduction technique".

Not to be harsh or personal, but acting like an idiot doesn't ever help in the long

term. ;)

I'm no "pickup artist", and have never qualified as a legitimate "stud muffin." (except to some few

extra-appreciative women at times.) I'm a few years past my "prime", numbers-wise, in terms of sex partners. But

I've been lucky enough to have been with many, many good women over the years -- way more than most guys; and more

than enough to draw conclusions. I still enjoy flirtation with women 18 to 58, and have been dating a very cute,

passionate, and sexy woman here recently. I'm also a psychologist. I'm only saying this so you young guys won't

think I'm misleading you, even though it might make me look a little jerky.

I suspect much of the pickup talk

you hear out there is perptuated by "desparate losers", who are exaggerating or distorting things they haven't

really experienced.

You must be smart in real relationship terms, understand where everybody is coming from; and

treat someone like a person, to the extent you interact with them at all. You have to be yourself too, and project

that; to pre-qualify people. You have to find a way to make the "love games" real, legitimate, and not fake.

For

example:



http://pherolibrary.com/forum/

showthread.php?p=153313&highlight=women#post153313 (http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?p=153313&highlight=women#post153313)

Or:



http://pherolibrary.com/forum/

showthread.php?p=156828&highlight=women#post156828 (http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?p=156828&highlight=women#post156828)

In each case the theme of the advice or approach was

that it has to be real. Of course, that is just my own perspective, for what it's worth.

[DumLuc]

Siggy, I think the best topic of

conversation is something that you and the other person have in common. Now as I see it, you live in Canada. That

being the case, you might want to begin a conversation around the fact that your both Canadian and lucky for it.



This opens the door to a variety of topics, that can easily segue into the destiny of you both being in Canada at

the same time. Ah, the mystery of the force at work, how sweet it is.

[DrSmellThis]

Pick something that reflects the moment to start, then ask open ended questions. Allow periods of "comfortable

silence" to give her a chance to pull her own weight. You want it to be two ways.

Mainly, just be fully

present to the person (and yourself; and the situation you both are in) and base your conversational choices on

that. Relax, observe, and let it happen from nothingness and openness. Trust.

It's just like

playing improvisational music with someone, for those who can relate.

She will take notice. What woman doesn't

enjoy making beautiful music with someone?

[Sigfreed]

SeduceMe



Then try

this, right off the bat tell her "You seem like a cool girl, but im looking for a girl that I can use to get to her

hot girlfriends so if you havent gotten any I cant hang with you"

if she's receptive, "allright well what I

really need is someone who isnt so uptight about her sexuality, that I can trust wont reveal anything to anyone as

with me, all these girls nowadays have all these presumptions and are so uptight I want to meet a laidback girl"



Still receptive ask her "So are you the adventerous type if you arent I cant be with you"

9 times out of 10

if youve come this far she will start spilling her sexual fantasies. Seriously, this takes 30 secs, 30 seconds with

a strange girl and she is already spilling her deepest inner sexual fantasies that I bet none of her boyfriends ever

knew!! Sick but powerful..
Obviously you are joking as I totally agree with Wood Elf, and she may even

slap you.

DumLuc


Siggy, I think the best topic of conversation is something that you and the other

person have in common. Now as I see it, you live in Canada. That being the case, you might want to begin a

conversation around the fact that your both Canadian and lucky for it.

This opens the door to a variety of

topics, that can easily segue into the destiny of you both being in Canada at the same time. Ah, the mystery of the

force at work, how sweet it is.
I agree with that. Just there are times when you're not always sure what

to say in a situation. I try to ask about themselves and if I can relate to it, I will give my opinion and

elaborate on it. If our opinions differ, I will also try to elaborate on it, and if the conversation doesn't have

the same positive effect it did before I will change the subject to something that does.

DrSMellThis




Pick something that reflects the moment to start, then ask open ended questions. Allow periods of "comfortable

silence" to give her a chance to pull her own weight. You want it to be two ways.

Mainly, just be fully

present to the person (and yourself; and the situation you both are in) and base your conversational choices on

that. Relax, observe, and let it happen from nothingness and openness. Trust.

It's just like playing

improvisational music with someone, for those who can relate.

She will take notice. What woman doesn't enjoy

making beautiful music with someone?
I agree and that's what I usually try to do. It's just sometimes

awkward if you're talking to a stranger, you don't always know what to say and you don't want to get boring

either.

I'm sure we've all been in a situation that we end up talking about something that we think is

interesting but turns out to be boring?

This is what I want to avoid and what to do if you get stuck in the

situation? I guess do your best to quickly change the subject to somthing positive?

[satyrboy]

Women of this board, I submit

to you the following advice:
Given that there are men who rely on the "seduction" techniques, I recommend you

remove enough pheremone products from your handbags or whatever in order to keep with you a small can of pepper

spray.

heh.

[wood elf]

That is good advice. :cheers:

[puule]

Just ask how their day is going

and go from there

[TDizzle]

It always depends on what type

of girl you are going after, those david deagelos techniques are all about going for the girl with the huge ego,

super hot, and usually at like a club, party, or some social setting.

[TRock]

do you try to get

rapport/connection with a girl or talk at them. if you are the rapport type then i can't help you. i talk at girls

and never seek rapport or a connection. they will seek the connection/rapport themselves.

you can talk about

anything you want as long as you have a strong conviction about it. of course if you love role playing game,

computers, engineering, math etc don't talk about it. unless you are skilled and can bring emotions to those

subjects. whenever i talk about school, i always tell a story about how i got a teacher fired because i had alcohol

poisining in highschool or how i didn't go to high school but i went to school high. i talk about work but always

tell story of the days i used to work in a chicken place. how we use to play soccer in the kitchen or the special

ingredients in the mash potatoes.

but some topics are:
tanning
tabloids
tv

shows
clothes
roadtrips
clothing accessorries
drugs and getting drunk (that can be a never ending story)
you

needing your daily maintenace like eyebrows, manicure, etc (it sets the frame that i'm gorgeous and i know it, i'm

conceited and arrogant and i like it just the way i am)
buy the book "The Cube"

what you talk about should be a

screening process. if a chick doesn't like me than she doesn't need to talk to me because i wouldn't want to be

with her personality type then. just talk to them about what you're really about.

[Sigfreed]

Thanks for the advice all. I

try not to discuss work/school. I usually try to find out
about them instead and their likes/dislikes.

[satyrboy]

I think the best way to build

rapport is to pick a controversial subject (Schiavo, the war in Iraq, whatever), then I rabidly argue the opposite

view of my target(regardless of your actual opinion) I figure, I'll be viewed as masterful and intelligent.

Goddamit, if I'm gonna play games, I'm gonna win. Love is a battlefield after all, right?

[Sigfreed]

satyrboy


I think

the best way to build rapport is to pick a controversial subject (Schiavo, the war in Iraq, whatever), then I

rabidly argue the opposite view of my target(regardless of your actual opinion) I figure, I'll be viewed as

masterful and intelligent. Goddamit, if I'm gonna play games, I'm gonna win. Love is a battlefield after all,

right?
I don't think that would be the smartest topics of conversation especially if the person is

Middle Eastern.

[seduceme]

Bah you can approach with

anything, as long as you are percieved as getting alot of attention and approval. That's what its all about

anyways, girls want THAT guy, unless they feel disqualified and will settle for someone on a similar attention and

approval-level.

[satyrboy]

satyrboy




I don't think that would be the smartest topics of conversation especially if the person is Middle

Eastern.
Huh, so much for sarcasm....

[satyrboy]

If you look several thread

down, you'll find my 100% guarantee'd approach to matters of the heart. Act soon before I copyright the original

ideas and charge $$$$$$$$$$$$$ for this secret knowledge...