Do you as a male take it as an insult & offensively when a woman says "you're nice"?

[Sigfreed]

Do you as a male take it as an insult and

offensively when a woman says "you're nice"?

I personally take that offensively and as an insult. To me when a

woman says "oh he's nice, or he's nice and cute" it's degrading.

27 years old and since the age of 18 years

old I've been with 12 women so you can see I usually try to go for the long term deal as long as they want to.

I've had a couple of one night stands but not really by choice.

Some women I've tried to date or wanted to

take out on a date have said I'm just nice or if I met someone through a friend and took them out on a date my

friend would tell me she thought I was nice.

To me that's just like saying there's nothing special about you

to get them going and want you.

For me when I hear that a woman thinks I'm great, or she wants to f^ck me, or I

hear from her or a friend who set us up that she thinks I'm hot now this is what I as a man like to hear.

I

know you guys will probably think that the women that say this about you aren't worth your time, but these are

usually the women you end up being most interested in b/c they themselves are usually hot and you want to be with

them.

Why some of these women think I'm just "NICE" I don't get it?

I am tall at 5ft10, I have an

athletic build at about 195lbs as I work out 4 days a week and watch my diet. I am well dressed unless I go casual

which can be often and I still look good, I know how to treat a lady like a lady, I'm descently endowed if you know

what I mean (not a monster but plenty enough), I am good in bed as I know how to please a woman. I am always

respectful to women, I have a sense of humor and with the right person it can be even more noticable, I'm fun, out

going, and love to live.

So why is it that some women say "you're nice"?

This is why I'm hoping that

Chikara and/or other mones will help me get noticed by the women who would say I'm "NICE".

I've as you know

mutually ended almost a 3 year relationship.

Could I be rusty?

I'd like to hear your opinions as well,

women's opinions would be greatly appreciated. I want to understand what it means and how to eliminate this so I

don't hear that word again.

Thanks

[DumLuc]

Here you go Siggy, maybe this

will help.





Nice guys vs

jerks
http://www.fastseduction.com/images/gfx/design/curl.jpg













The debate of "nice guys vs. jerks" has been

raging for quite a long time. The nature of being a "nice guy", however, is commonly misunderstood. It is believed

that being polite, considerate, friendly, tender, romantic, etc. is what being a "nice guy" is all about and thus

those qualities should be avoided, as it is the "jerk", the rude, the inconsiderate, the impolite, the rough guy who

always gets the girl while the "nice guy" is waiting outside in the pouring rain with flowers in his hand.

It

doesn't mean that women prefer rude over polite, inconsiderate over considerate, etc. It all becomes clear when we

look at a very important issue often overlooked when trying to define what makes the "jerks" beat the "nice guys"

when it comes to getting the girls. It is sexuality - the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual

beings, while the "nice guys" hide their sexuality as a part of their agenda of being friendly, polite, and

courteous towards women.

Peta, Clifford's Seduction Newsletter: "It dawned on me as it has, that the

androgyny is key. Women fall for bastards because they don't turn off the sexuality.. "nice" guys think women will

be terrified of their sexuality, so they turn it off and all they get is women responding to their androgyny See

also:

[Sigfreed]

I see there are 10 views and

only one reply? Is this not a worthy topic of conversation or something? I'd like to hear a woman's point of view

on this

DumLuc


The debate of "nice guys vs. jerks" has been raging for quite a long time. The nature

of being a "nice guy", however, is commonly misunderstood. It is believed that being polite, considerate, friendly,

tender, romantic, etc. is what being a "nice guy" is all about and thus those qualities should be avoided, as it is

the "jerk", the rude, the inconsiderate, the impolite, the rough guy who always gets the girl while the "nice guy"

is waiting outside in the pouring rain with flowers in his hand.

It doesn't mean that women prefer rude over

polite, inconsiderate over considerate, etc. It all becomes clear when we look at a very important issue often

overlooked when trying to define what makes the "jerks" beat the "nice guys" when it comes to getting the girls. It

is sexuality - the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while the "nice guys" hide their

sexuality as a part of their agenda of being friendly, polite, and courteous towards women.

Peta, Clifford's

Seduction Newsletter: "It dawned on me as it has, that the androgyny is key. Women fall for bastards because

they don't turn off the sexuality.. "nice" guys think women will be terrified of their sexuality, so they turn it

off and all they get is women responding to their androgyny
See also:The funny thing is I have no problem

showing & exploiting my sexuality or presenting myself as a sexual being. If I know the woman well enough and we're

at that level of conversation and humor I make sexual jokes (nothing too degrading or improper) so I don't see why

"SOME WOMEN" say "I'm nice".

That's how I hooked up with my 36yr old boss when I was 23 years old.

But

some women despite my clear and present sexuality letting them know that I'm not shy in anyway still say I'm

nice.

B/c when I get down to business, I'm like an animal. I like to give long oral pleasure sessions to the

woman I'm with, and I can go for a good 45mins w/o finishing, multiple positions, I also like to stimulate her in

"certain" spots while I'm going.

So for me I am not shy at all.

But for some reason w/o even knowing me

"SOME WOMEN" think I'm nice w/o even giving me a chance.

This is where I'm hoping the Chikara will come into

play.

When I was in my early 20's I will admit I was much more shy sexually than I am now which probably gave

me the nice guy portrayment. At this time when I'd be "into it" so to speak with a woman I'd be able to let loose.

Now I'm not shy at all. I've actually told women that I was dating or hanging out with that I wanted to be with

them in all ways and this has actually worked in most cases. Sometimes I got a slap in the face but that didn't

happen all the time.

So why is it that I still get the "nice guy" response?

[ManBeast]

I've always been seen as a

"nice guy" by girls... Honestly it's not that bad, you just have to adapt your game to work that angle better. Yes

you can be a nice guy, but only nice on your terms, or if they are nice to you. If they are just messing around,

blow them off, make them come to you if they really want to spend time with you. I don't see this as not being nice

and whatnot, I see it as being selective and picky about who you are truly nice to, and saving it for those that

show interest in you.

MB

[belgareth]

Why does it bother you? Not

every woman is going to find you sexually attractive. Isn't it better than them saying "What a jerk!"? Does it

really matter all that much?

On the other side of it, how many women have you made similar statements about?

[DrSmellThis]

Men who define their own

standards of behavior and have a little bad boy in them, as well as "saying what they think regardless" (withing

limits) are often perceived as attractive. These are not really "nice" traits. "Nice" can dovetail with pleasing

others in a vain attempt to be liked or accepted. Nice can mean reducing one's personality to fit into some sort of

stereotypical "best possible social image". Nice can imply "boring" to many people.

That said, many (most?)

women mean "nice" as a genuine compliment, for lack of a better word; and there is no need to take offense or be

disappointed.

Certainly, being a kind, big-hearted gentleman is a desirable thing. A little sweetness is a great

thing. But I know what you mean about feeling ambivalent with the "nice" label.

[silksand]

Everything DrSmellThis just

said is on the money. I would add that none of us can tell from your posts if you are truly a great guy and are just

meeting women who don't find their perfect match in you (and therefore you should just keep looking)... or if you

do have some kind of personality problem (trying too hard, not showing your real self, too bland, afraid to offend,

trying to tell sex jokes - which may not be the best way to win a girl's heart....)

In either case, I would

advise you to rent the movie "The Tao of Steve" - or do a search for it here, it's been discussed. Great advice on

how to make the nice guy thing WORK for you.

Reading all the posts on the women's forum here, starting with

the oldest ones, might be a good thing, too. You'll find are some very wise and awfully funny gems from earlier in

the forum's history.

[DrSmellThis]

What do you

think are the better ways to let women see you as a sexual being w/o being a jerk or a$$hole?Most basically,

I think women pick up on sexuality from an unforced, sparkling glint in your eye, based on a sense of who you are

and the substance of your confidence. James Bond is an exaggerated example. But you have to "attract rather than

promote", as my father says. Women like to discover their own attractions, not have it spoon fed to them. Keep the

sexuality very subtle. A woman open to it and looking for it will notice it. It is partly an awareness of the sexual

level of the relationship, that you mostly control to keep the situation comfortable for everyone. You "max out the

comfort with your gentlemanliness", but still have "room for a knowing sparkle", reflecting genuine liking of the

other person (not just approval of them as a hottie). You have to have some sense of being full of physical energy

and surging testosterone (but not too surging) to go along with it. I hope that describes it fairly closely.



There are other factors, of course.

I've experienced both being considered a nice guy and intimidating women

with overt sexuality, many times. You have to control your sexual energy well, with good timing. But it has to be

there underneath.

Women love to see a man that has a lot of sexual energy, but has a mastery level of control

over it! It makes them feel both safe and horny; as well as a little submissive, due to the trust (you need to

control yourself well to evoke willingness to be controlled.)

Still, even if you do everything perfect you

won't hit it off with too many women, percentage-wise. As Bel says, not every woman is going to be attracted; and

sometimes the best ones will portray very convincingly that they are not, even when they are.

[DumLuc]

Siggy, you seem a little

confused, to me. If that is the case, I feel fairly certain that some of the women you are encountering perceive

this confusion of yours as well. Do you think that might be part of your problem?

[DrSmellThis]

Um, why do you constantly put

random links in your quoted text, Sigfreed?

[DumLuc]

Nice one, Doc. I was wondering

about that myself.

[DrSmellThis]

Do you work for the search

engine you link to or something?

If so, sounds like a crappy site that installs adware and spyware without your

explicit consent or knowledge to me:



http://searchmiracle.com/TERMS.htm

Why would anyone link us

repeatedly to such a site? Hmmmm.

[Pancho1188]

I didn't read every post on

here carefully, so forgive me if I repeat something:

I think the "you're nice" almost automatically brings up

the "nice guy" vs. "jerk" argument, so I'll take a different angle.

Girls think differently than guys. I've

noticed this especially when it comes to compliments. Women will not outright say, "you're hot," or, "I want to

f*ck you," but are subtle about things. I won't discount the fact that they may just want to be friends, but think

about every personal ad or comment you've ever seen. Women like nice, so to them it's a compliment. Again, I'm

not talking about a "nice guy" as defined in the book, No More Mr. Nice Guy, but just being a nice person.

Depending on how, when, etc. they say it, they could be paying you a nice compliment and may be interested in you.



I'll give you a parallel example from personal experience. You mention "nice" vs. "hot" or "doable". Well, I'm

sure the compliment you want to hear is "big" when it comes to your penis, correct? Well, girls (who aren't lying

to stroke your ego or surprised at your size compared to their last boyfriend---I've had that happen to me...twice,

actually) won't say that. They don't want big...no matter what anyone says. They want one that's "perfect".

Therefore, when I've gotten compliments from women that say my penis is "perfect", I know it's the real deal.

Yes, deep down inside from years of social brainwashing, I want them to say it's the biggest thing they've ever

seen...but that doesn't mean as much to women. They see "perfect" as being the ultimate compliment they want to

pay the man they are interested in.

Bringing this back to the exact topic, a girl may find "nice" to be a much

better compliment than "hot" because that's what they really care about. Get the difference? Besides, how many

women would ever come out and tell someone they were hot to his face? Maybe they're just adhering to social

norms. I've had women call me nice just because I was nice...and I've had women call me nice who were trying to

flirt with me. Don't knock the importance of "nice" to women just because it doesn't mean that much to men.



Again, I am assuming that they said "nice" in a way that hinted at interest...the others covered the first

implication.

[DrSmellThis]

Again, I would strongly

advise everyone to stay the fawk away from the site Sigfreed is linking us to.

Do not click!

You may

well have spyware on your machine otherwise (I read the terms -- trust me on this).

I trust mods and Bruce will

handle the situation in the "best possible way."

[belgareth]

We are working on it with

Sigfreed's cooperation. The Doc's advice is good advice and you should all take it.

If you have already click

on a link to that site run a good spyware killer as soon as possible. If you need any help or advice you can contact

me and I'll be happy to help you.

[DrSmellThis]

Here is the Symantec blurb

on it:



http://securityresponse.syma

ntec.com/avcenter/venc/data/adware.elitebar.b.html (http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/adware.elitebar.b.html)

Risk is rated "high!"

It is a pretty common

thing to get infected with.

I don't know how you cooperate with a cybercrook, so good luck! ;)

All his

infected posts should be deleted, IMHO.

I found an unnamed Browser Helper Object (BHO) on my browser. My spyware

detectors may not have worked on it. I'll probably be manually removing things.

[Mtnjim]

Here is the

Symantec blurb on it:



http://securityresponse.symant

ec.com/avcenter/venc/data/adware.elitebar.b.html (http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/adware.elitebar.b.html)

Risk is rated "high!"


I'm glad

you used the Symantic site. There are a lot of fake anti spyware sites that infect your computer out there

This (http://www.spywarewarrior.com/rogue_anti-spyware.htm) site lists them.

[Pancho1188]

I love the ones that infect

you with spyware, tell you your computer's infected (Yeah, with the exact stuff you just gave me! How

convenient...), and then get you to buy their stuff to get rid of it.

One of those bastards got me when I was

looking for Baldur's Gate II information (the site was filled with crap), and they put all kinds of porn short

links in my favorites folder!!! AT WORK!!! :smite:

[belgareth]

I'm glad you

used the Symantic site. There are a lot of fake anti spyware sites that infect your computer out there

This (http://www.spywarewarrior.com/rogue_anti-spyware.htm) site lists them.
I understand that

the fedds are pursuing charges aginast several of those companies.

Mtnjiim is right to suggest you avoid them.

One great product that you can get for free is Ad Aware SE. It's at

www.downloads.com (http://www.downloads.com), just do a search. Another good AV site is

www.grisoft.com (http://www.grisoft.com).

[Mtnjim]

I understand that

the fedds are pursuing charges aginast several of those companies.

Mtnjiim is right to suggest you avoid them.

One great product that you can get for free is Ad Aware SE. It's at

www.downloads.com (http://www.downloads.com), just do a search. Another good AV site is

www.grisoft.com (http://www.grisoft.com).
I agree about AdAware, but most experts (some people

consider me one in this field) suggest running both AdAware and a program calles Spybot SD available

from the same location. Seems that each product gets only about 75% of the spyware, but not the same 75%.



Remember practice safe computing!!

[belgareth]

I agree about

AdAware, but most experts (some people consider me one in this field) suggest running both AdAware and

a program calles Spybot SD available from the same location. Seems that each product gets only about 75% of the

spyware, but not the same 75%.

Remember practice safe computing!!
Spybot is a good program too. I

should apologise for not mentioning that. With the new version of Ad Aware I don't usually need spybot but I can

edit the registry where it isn't a good idea for the non-techy.

[Mtnjim]

"...but I can edit the registry

where it isn't a good idea for the non-techy."

And now the award for understatement of the year.:thumbsup:



Good point, sometimes those of us who climb in "under the hood" tend to forget.

[DrSmellThis]

Neither AdawareSE nor Spybot

picked up my BHO, but it could have already been there. I'm not sure I was infected by searchmiracle. I found none

of the typical .exe files on my machine (I did not search the registry for related entries), though the browser was

painfully slow. Hopefully no one else was infected.

[belgareth]

Neither

adaware nor spybot picked up my BHO, but it could have already been there. I'm not sure I was infected by

searchmiracle. I found none of the typical .exe files on my machine (I did not search the registry for the others),

though the browser was painfully slow. Hopefully no one else was infected.Before you search change your

folder options in control panel so you can see hidden and system files.

[DrSmellThis]

That is my default setting.

Plus I used a "find", in addition to a manual search of the typical download location to check for alternate names.

Thanks for the advice, though.

[Pancho1188]

When I fixed my computer

manually, I ran a search for all files created that day. If you haven't installed anything today, this is a

good way to find malicious files that spyware created on your computer.

[Sigfreed]

Here is a conversation I had

with Belgareth


My reply to his same questions


It's not intentional, I don't know why this is

happening but on forums & other websites that I go to certain words are highlighted links & I don't know

why.

The most common words I notice highlighted as links are sex, advertising, internet, cologne, porn & some

other words.

I thought it was a virus, but I've done a few virus scans & I've clearned any worms, trojans &

virus's that I had & it still occurs?

Do you have any idea?

Sometimes when I'm typing a pm or in a thread

all of a sudden a shit load of coding appears around one word & I manually have to delete it all.

I don't get

it?
Here is Belgareth's reply


You have a hijack. Try using Ad Aware SE, you can download it

free at downloads.com. If that doesn't do it, get a professional to take a look because you have what could be a

serious problem.
I've used these tools it might be one of the new softwares I've instaled.
B/c I've

used spybot, adaware se, and a system mechanic pro to remove junk files.



Now can we get back on the topic

at hand? How do we get this "NICE" lable removed? I just be myself around women. Like I said I am not shy to show

them I am a sexual being (btw what are your opinions for doing this most appropriately w/o offending anyone?), I

treat a lady with respect and know how to treat her like a lady, forgive me if I appear cocky but my sexual

techniques are top notch. However I AM NOT one of those jerks who forces a woman's head down, or forces them to

swallow. I do what a woman feels comfortable doing with me.



Could we hear a woman's point of view on this

please? :sad: Thanks

[a.k.a.]

Just for the record, genuinely nice

guys are patient, respectful of diverse opinions, conscious of other people’s needs, avoid being pushy, and not

easily offended.

[silksand]

As a woman who has already

replied to your questions, I will add that I think you are really barking up the wrong tree. When I tell someone

he's a nice guy, it is not derogatory in the least. It is a compliment. I would not want to get involved with

someone who lacked this quality. If I were to tell a man I was not attracted to that he was a nice guy, I would be

letting him know that I see and respect this quality in him, but for whatever reasons (quite likely lack of

chemistry) I am not attracted to him sexually. You are not ever going to have a perfect batting average and if you

did it would be meaningless. There are women who you have chemistry with and those you don't. Be patient, be open,

keep enjoying yourself and growing - you'll likely find some women with whom that spark of attraction is mutual.



And by the way, have you tried any pheromones? You say you want to be noticed as a sexual being - are you

having any success with pheromones in that sense?

[Pancho1188]

I've had sex with women who

have called me a nice guy.

Don't you think that maybe your negative reaction to being called a "nice guy" is

really what's causing the problem here? It sounds like if you hear those words, you give up or get upset...



Notice that SilkSand doesn't specifically say that it's over if a woman says that...sometimes they're

complimenting you because they like you, and other times they're (ironically) just being "nice"...I can't explain

it, but you can tell the difference if you try.

[Sigfreed]

silksand



As a

woman who has already replied to your questions, I will add that I think you are really barking up the wrong tree.

When I tell someone he's a nice guy, it is not derogatory in the least. It is a compliment. I would not want to get

involved with someone who lacked this quality. If I were to tell a man I was not attracted to that he was a nice

guy, I would be letting him know that I see and respect this quality in him, but for whatever reasons (quite likely

lack of chemistry) I am not attracted to him sexually. You are not ever going to have a perfect batting average and

if you did it would be meaningless. There are women who you have chemistry with and those you don't. Be patient, be

open, keep enjoying yourself and growing - you'll likely find some women with whom that spark of attraction is

mutual.

And by the way, have you tried any pheromones? You say you want to be noticed as a sexual being - are

you having any success with pheromones in that sense?
To answer your last question first, I've never

used pheromones at all. If you saw in the pheromone discussion I was inquiring which one I should purchase.

And

I purchased Chikara which should be arriving around April 14th. I am totally new to this scene.

Why do you say I

am barking up the wrong tree? You said that


If I were to tell a man I was not attracted to that he was

a nice guy, I would be letting him know that I see and respect this quality in him, but for whatever reasons (quite

likely lack of chemistry) I am not attracted to him sexually
Meaning that when you tell a man that he is

a "nice guy" that let's him know you aren't sexually attracted to him correct?

This is the whole point of my

question and is exactly what I'm trying to avoid hearing from someone I'm trying to attract.

I agree that you

have to have chemistry and you can't be perfect all the time, but the thing is I am at a point in my life that I'm

just about a complete person as you could be. W/o trying to sound conceited I am being honest that I am a good

looking at 5ft10 195lbs with an atheltic build and take care of my body, well dressed and groomed, I know how to

treat a lady like a lady and with respect, and I am not shy sexually infront of a woman, and I know how to sexually

satisfy a woman.

With all of these qualities, wouldn't many women want to be with a man who posesses these

qualities? If I were a woman I would. The thing is some women think they are too good to give certain men a

chance.

Maybe b/c the guy isn't Italian, black, hispanic, another european descent I've run into women who

don't give men who aren't a certain nationality a chance b/c they aren't Italian or whatever.

To me this is

tacky, I give ppl from many nationalities a chance. To me where someone is from is secondary. If I like the person

and her personality and am physically attracted to her than it does not matter where they're from. I've dated

women of other ethnicities before.

But I've found that for whatever reason some women do not give ppl a chance

b/c they are too picky. They don't know what they are missing out on b/c they don't give it a chance.

I've

been turned down by tall women b/c I'm "too short" at 5ft10 yet I've dated a couple of women who where 6ft at

around 160lbs.

I don't believe in that type of rejection. The only reason I would reject someone is if we

didn't mesh well together. But I always give them at least one chance to see how we get along.

This is why I

can't help but feel somewhat insulted and degrated when a woman says I'm nice. Yes I agree that most women

wouldn't want to be involved with a conceited ahole, but to hear that your nice to me it just means they don't

find anything special about you w/o giving it a chance.

[silksand]

It seems to me that you are

angry because you are getting rejected, and you perceive that you are being rejected because you are seen as a nice

guy, even though you have so many fine qualities, and you seem to feel that this is not fair or right.



Wrong. You are not getting rejected because you are (perceived as) a nice guy. And I'm sure your many other

fine qualities are not lost on these ladies, either.

Being a congenial human being is a plus.

Being

flexible, being subtle and perceptive, being emotionally mature and resilient, being able to make use of the

feedback provided and move ahead in your life, being able to take "no" and trust that you will find your "yes"

elsewhere - Perhaps you could give some attention to these qualities.

[Pancho1188]

With all of

these qualities, wouldn't many women want to be with a man who posesses these qualities? If I were a woman I would.

The thing is some women think they are too good to give certain men a chance.

Maybe b/c the guy isn't Italian,

black, hispanic, another european descent I've run into women who don't give men who aren't a certain nationality

a chance b/c they aren't Italian or whatever.

To me this is tacky, I give ppl from many nationalities a chance.

To me where someone is from is secondary. If I like the person and her personality and am physically attracted to

her than it does not matter where they're from. I've dated women of other ethnicities before.

But I've found

that for whatever reason some women do not give ppl a chance b/c they are too picky. They don't know what they are

missing out on b/c they don't give it a chance.

I've been turned down by tall women b/c I'm "too short" at

5ft10 yet I've dated a couple of women who where 6ft at around 160lbs.

I don't believe in that type of

rejection. The only reason I would reject someone is if we didn't mesh well together. But I always give them at

least one chance to see how we get along.

This is why I can't help but feel somewhat insulted and degrated when

a woman says I'm nice. Yes I agree that most women wouldn't want to be involved with a conceited ahole, but to

hear that your nice to me it just means they don't find anything special about you w/o giving it a

chance.Why would you want to go out with someone like that? I find it ironic that you don't like the

people you want to attract and yet want to attract them because they're attractive. You have a negative opinion

about these women because of how they select their men, yet you want to go out with them, anyway. That's a slippery

slope there, buddy...

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: attractive women are allowed to be picky.

Hell, anyone's allowed to be picky, but attractive people can be picky and still get a date whenever they want. If

they don't like you, accept it and move on. Don't blame them for not liking one thing or another. You would do the

same thing on the attributes you care about. Sure, height or race may not be the factor, but I'm sure you'd

eliminate people based on attractiveness or some other physical flaw. If not, then you have to live with the fact

that other people do and realize that maybe you don't want to associate with those people, anyway. After

all, if you're such a good catch, you don't deserve to go out with someone that ignorant, right?

People don't

like to say they care about looks, race, etc. when looking for a mate because it's not socially acceptable, but the

truth is that you have to be attracted to the person you go out with. People who are only attracted to certain

people are either honest with themselves or hurting themselves by being so selective. If it's purely to just be

selective, they'll probably go out with a bunch of jerks, anyway, so maybe you can take solace in the fact that

you'll be happier than they ever will because you aren't so quick to judge.

[silksand]

Suggestion for Sigfreed: If you

want to hear from women, post your question on the women's board. It's a good bet many of them have not even seen

your post.

PS to pancho - you made good points.

[Sigfreed]

Silksand



It seems

to me that you are angry because you are getting rejected, and you perceive that you are being rejected because you

are seen as a nice guy, even though you have so many fine qualities, and you seem to feel that this is not fair or

right.

Wrong. You are not getting rejected because you are (perceived as) a nice guy. And I'm sure your many

other fine qualities are not lost on these ladies, either.

Being a congenial human being is a plus.

Being

flexible, being subtle and perceptive, being emotionally mature and resilient, being able to make use of the

feedback provided and move ahead in your life, being able to take "no" and trust that you will find your "yes"

elsewhere - Perhaps you could give some attention to these qualities.
Well I posess all the qualties you

have mentioned just above no doubt about that.

Sorry if you misunderstood, I didn't mean that every lady

rejects me that I meet.

If you recall I just mutually got out of an almost 3 year relationship with a hottie so

could it be that I am rusty? Back last summer I met 3 women, 2 wanted to date me and the third wanted to have only

sex with me. But I turned them down b/c I was still feeling close to my girlfriend despite the lack of intimacy and

closeness.

Now I wish I had taken at least one of the three ladies up on their offer. Having ended a long term

meaningful relationship with an attractive young woman (23), I seem to be having "some" difficulties meeting single,

available attractive women or at least to get them to noctice me sexually.

I have for about a month now been

having a purely physical relationship with an exotic dancer who broke up with her boyfriend about 2 months ago. We

hang out and have our fun about 3 times a week but she's made it clear she wants nothing more.

It is a lot of

fun don't get me wrong, but after awhile the physical relationship becomes tiring. You realize you need more.



So I've been looking for someone else to date, and sometimes the ppl I approach say they have a boyfriend when I

know they don't. The one's who really do have a boyfriend that's fine. But when they say the have a bf and they

are lying that's not cool.

I understand what you are saying, but I just know that when a woman says I'm nice,

I know they have no interest in being with me sexually. That's what I'm trying to avoid.

I don't know, maybe

my problem is just simply being rusty having been with one woman for almost three years perhaps?

[silksand]

How can I say this more

plainly? SOME women will have no sexual interest in you. You CANNOT avoid this, nor should you. Do you really want

the women rejecting you to be so frank (not that you would ever find many women who would be so rude) as to say "You

don't interest me at all in that way!" They are trying to spare your feelings and end the interaction gracefully.

Pick yourself up and get on with it!

[Sigfreed]

Pancho11SS


Why would

you want to go out with someone like that? I find it ironic that you don't like the people you want to attract

and yet want to attract them because they're attractive. You have a negative opinion about these women because

of how they select their men, yet you want to go out with them, anyway. That's a slippery slope there,

buddy...

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: attractive women are allowed to be picky. Hell, anyone's

allowed to be picky, but attractive people can be picky and still get a date whenever they want. If they don't like

you, accept it and move on. Don't blame them for not liking one thing or another. You would do the same thing on

the attributes you care about. Sure, height or race may not be the factor, but I'm sure you'd eliminate people

based on attractiveness or some other physical flaw. If not, then you have to live with the fact that other people

do and realize that maybe you don't want to associate with those people, anyway. After all, if you're such

a good catch, you don't deserve to go out with someone that ignorant, right?

People don't like to say they care

about looks, race, etc. when looking for a mate because it's not socially acceptable, but the truth is that you

have to be attracted to the person you go out with. People who are only attracted to certain people are either

honest with themselves or hurting themselves by being so selective. If it's purely to just be selective, they'll

probably go out with a bunch of jerks, anyway, so maybe you can take solace in the fact that you'll be happier than

they ever will because you aren't so quick to judge.
I wouldn't want to be with those ppl.

All I am

trying to say is that I think in this world ppl are too picky. I am a good looking guy and have turned down very

attracitve women b/c I didn't like their personality. In turn I had chosen the cute girl over the gorgeous girl b/c

the cute girl had a better personality.

This is what I am talking about. I just don't think ppl have to have

perfect looks.

I personally don't like women that are too skinny, and I find the runway girls to be hideous. I

like a woman with some meat and curves on her in the right places. I also don't mind fit ppl either just as long as

they aren't a pencil. This is all I am saying.

It's like women who only go for steroid enhanced monster

bodybuilders.

[Sigfreed]

silksand


How can I

say this more plainly? SOME women will have no sexual interest in you. You CANNOT avoid this, nor should you. Do you

really want the women rejecting you to be so frank (not that you would ever find many women who would be so rude) as

to say "You don't interest me at all in that way!" They are trying to spare your feelings and end the interaction

gracefully. Pick yourself up and get on with it!
As I said maybe I'm just rusty having been in basically

a 3 year relationship.
But the thing is with the qualities and looks I posess I know that I'm good enough as I'm

confident in myself and I know I'm good looking and sexual.

I just think ppl now a days need to give other ppl

more of a chance instead of judging them on the spot w/o even knowing anything about them.

I don't do this to

ppl I think it's degrading and conceited. But I'm just hoping that the Chikara I purchased will help enhance my

sexuality.

[Sigfreed]

Anyway Silksand, I will keep

moving on. I'm just hoping
that the Chikara I purchased will help let my sexuality be more
known so I can attract

the female that I want. If she turns out to
have a bad personality or not someone I get along with, I will move

on.
But I still can't help but take it harshly when someone says "I'm nice".