View Full Version : Social Skills
Dag0n
03-21-2005, 06:28 PM
I've been reading a lot
of stuff on here about how confidence and strong socials skills are much more affective than mones alone, and i
totally agree. However, I'd like to present a theory. Today we are hearing a lot about a disorder called, "social
anxiety disorder". Now you ask, why are we just hearing about this now? Is it something new? Probably not... The
symptoms of this disorder have probably been seen in many people before, but nobody thought it was a true problem.
What usually happens is a dramactic spike in cases... Then doctors start to realize something isn't right and start
doing more research. Well, I'm sure most of you are aware that the internet first started gaining real popularity
about 10-15 years ago. hmm... coincidence? From my experience, jumping on the internet bandwagon about 11 years
ago, right as i was going into highschool was a very bad idea... for these years are a very important growth period
when it comes to our bodys and for developing the social skills we will later use as adults. Most of my time out of
school was either spent online or at parties getting wasted... So the only little skills i did recieve don't really
matter cause i was drunk. Keep in mind, this is just an theory and I'm not saying this has happened to everyone,
but it is definately something to think about for all you teenagers and parents out there...
TRock
03-21-2005, 08:39 PM
i wasn't heavy into computer use
til 2000 but yes it is a waste of my life. there really isn't a day that goes by that i'm not on the computer for
like half and hour. it's like crack i know it's bad for me but i can't help but use it.
Dag0n
03-21-2005, 09:17 PM
I just think that
being online and in chatrooms to much during those teenage years is what really can cause damage into adulthood.
Those are vital years for social interaction. I wish i would've known that then.
Pancho1188
03-21-2005, 09:33 PM
I highly doubt that being
online scarred your social development. Think about it: if you weren't online, you would've been watching TV. At
least you have the chance to interact with people on the 'net. Now, if you could honestly tell me you would've
done something productive instead of watching TV, I guess you would've developed more.
All that said, Social
Anxiety Disorder is like Depression. Nobody believed it existed, then once it was recognized as a legitimate
disorder, everybody has it. It's gone from neglected problem to copout. Have you heard this ad:
"Do you feel
down? Can't seem to get out of that 'funk'? Do you have trouble getting out of bed in the morning? You may be
experiencing depression."
That describes most people on a bad week. Social anxiety disorder is similar, but
probably not as exploited. I would say that just as some people misdiagnose themselves with depression, others are
misdiagnosed with SAD when they are either introverted or shy. I will be the first to tell you that introversion is
not a disorder. I can't be in large, chaotic crowds for more than a couple of hours without getting a little
agitated. On a bad day, a party situation can drive me crazy. I don't have a disorder, though, I am just
introverted, which means that I am easily stimulated by the outside world, and too much outside stimulation can
cause an overload and drain my battery.
In other words: don't worry about it. The beauty of the past is you can
learn from it. If you don't like how you acted, change it for the better now for a better tomorrow. I don't
believe the internet played as much of a role, though, because internet use cuts into what would've probably been
extra TV time, anyway.
a.k.a.
03-22-2005, 07:05 AM
Here’s a radical idea...
What
if social anxiety is on the rise because community life has broken down, the economy has become less secure, people
are under more pressure and society is a much more competitive place than when your parents were growing up?
Likewise, what if depression’s a big problem because jobs have become less fulfilling, the ecology has gone to pot,
and the future looks grimmer every day?
But I do agree that teenagers need to spend a lot more time
socializing.
HK45Mark23
03-22-2005, 01:33 PM
Well, actually you idea is not
radical. It is just misinformed.
Today we are more secure than any time in history. People just a hundred
years ago did not have enough to eat and no medical knowledge to speak
of.
It was
that many had to work all day just to supply them selves with the essential
necessities.
This idea that the world is so bad is a farce. What is true is that today’s
society is spoiled and just little cry babies.
The true injustice is not being on the computer, but the drugs, sex and
alcohol that children engage in at young ages. The pop culture is in part to blame for this moral degridation, as
it parents and schools.
The true injustice is the propaganda of the media and that the schools teach. Free thinkers are oppressed
in this society of “enlightenment.”
As a matter of fact the computer is a great source of information and it is
not passive like a TV. I think TV is also good if you are learning from an educational source, even games are good
if not corrupted with negative influence.
Social skills are formed early with parental interaction. Have you seen a
father that will not hold his baby and young children? How will that affect the
child?
How about the work environment today, in the
past children and parents had to work hand in hand support the whole family. Be it hunting and gathering from the
fields or inside weaving and sowing all had purpose and bonded through hardship and necessity in order to
survive.
I have said it before, we are not in tune with nature, our selves or others compared to just one century
ago.
But the base is not the internet. It is a loss of basic social skills due to improper child rearing and
socially ignorant and emotional intellectual un-education.
Well there it is.
HK45Mark23
Mtnjim
03-22-2005, 07:01 PM
"Today we are more secure than any time in history."
Only a slight
disagreement -- A few years ago, this was true.
Pancho1188
03-22-2005, 07:50 PM
"Today we are more secure
than any time in history."
Only a slight disagreement -- A few years ago, this was
true.
What, you don't think the Patriot Act makes us more secure
than before it? :run:
HK45Mark23
03-23-2005, 02:37 PM
War has always been and will always be. But the ease at witch we live
our lives, and the ease of daily support of our essential necessities is unmatched in
history.
It is true
that we are now and have always been threatened with invasion and outside forces who wish to do harm to us. But in
what society did they not have such threats.
Matter of fact some of the most famous stories are dealing with cities
and the basic need for security like the movie Troy. Back in history they not only had to prepare for daily life
support but also protection from animals or warring invaders.
The sense of security I was referring to was economic and social.
Today we have economic security. The mechanisms are in place to insure
that.
The
economic loss from 911 was far greater even relative to the cause of the Great Depression. The magnitude of damage
to our economy may not be fully understood by laypersons. But with out the programs instituted in our economic
institutions and our great strength today we all would be crippled financially from 911
alone.
It is
unfortunate that the media thrives on bad news and they are the biggest bunch of wolves out there. They will twist
truths into lies and then mis and dis inform the
public.
It reminds
me of the leavening of the Pharisees. If you are familiar with the story it referred to baking. If you are baking
and you yeasten a batch of dough it takes a small amount of yeast to yeasten a whole
batch.
I know
that a batch of pizza dough may be a volume of 45 quarts and the necessary amount of yeast is ¾ cups. So relative
to the volume of dough there is a small amount of yeast.
It is also so in information and mis/dis-information. Many sly and
slick people will use 90-95% facts and truths to invoke some persons or peoples emotions. They then will interject
an untruth in order to gain the psychological advantage and manipulate the ignorant masses. This data usually is
not able to be proven or unproven easily or at least not in that immediate moment. Then they will use that
ill-informed point to try and persuade one to act or think in a specific
manner.
The
problem is that the bulk of the information is accurate and the one little part that is not is hard to pick out of
the batch. It is just like taking raw leavened dough and trying to separate the yeast. You will be hard pressed to
do so. It is as trying to separate the tea or coffee from the water after it has been brewed, it has become one and
the whole batch of dough is leavened or the tea and coffee is tea and
coffee.
Therefore beware of the leavening of the Pharisees. And know
that we are truly more secure today than any time in history. Also remember you are what you think and you are
where you are because of you beliefs and society will be its collaborative thoughts.
HK45Mark23
HK45Mark23
03-23-2005, 02:48 PM
"Today we are more secure
than any time in history."
Only a slight disagreement -- A few years ago, this was
true.
Well it is obvious that we were not as secure as
we needed to be. Well we also were not as secure at Pear harbor as we needed to be but with experience should come
knowledge and wisdom. So I would say that we may not have been as secure as we needed to be but that we should be
better educated and more secure now than then, even if it still is not enough.
Remember that it takes mistakes to learn. Who learned to ride a bike with out falling off? And
didn’t falling off teach you to not fall off.
Every thing in life
takes mistakes to learn it is the nature of learning and it is also why teachers have deep understanding of their
topics of instruction, they get to see all the mistakes made by others and in return they also instill that
information into their life experience.
HK45Mark23
Pancho1188
03-23-2005, 06:57 PM
The sense of
security I was referring to was economic and social. Today we have economic security. The mechanisms are in place to
insure that.
The economic
loss from 911 was far greater even relative to the cause of the Great Depression. The magnitude of damage to our
economy may not be fully understood by laypersons. But with out the programs instituted in our economic institutions
and our great strength today we all would be crippled financially from 911
alone.
I'm not sure how you can even begin to compare
the destruction of two large buildings and a few planes to the rush on thousands of financial institutions for money
they did not have, leading to a nationwide economic panic and thousands of banks going under for the inability to
repay lenders and the inability of borrowers to repay them. As the travel industry took a nose dive, the security
industry increased. That's why it was a recession, not a depression. The unemployment rate never hit 25 percent.
September 11th also had assistance from the burst of the internet bubble and inethical actions from shady
executives. Still, I would not even compare the two periods economically. Yes, the regulations and safety
precautions in place softened the blow, but I think September 11th itself caused more of an emotional panic than an
economic one.
Ironically, my disagreement with your statement only makes your main argument stronger because it
supports the notion that we are more economically and socially secure today than ever before. That I agree with.
People who don't believe so are subject to the "action/reaction" or probability fallacy in psychology (note:
that's not a technical term; I can't remember the actual term). In other words, one doesn't believe something is
very probable until it happens, then people overreact and believe that it's much more of a threat than it really
is. In reality, the odds are very similar if not less. It works the opposite of the lottery or coin-flip
probability fallacy that if a coin lands on tails 100 times the next one has a high probably of being heads when
it's really still 50-50.
HK45Mark23
03-24-2005, 10:19 PM
Well actually it is a very valid comparison. Matter of fact the securities industry makes the comparison in
the securities text books.
You greatly underestimated the
losses.
By the way there were many buildings that were totally
damaged, not just the towers.
My home town is 165,000 people and the
metropolitan aria is 300,000 total. I said this because the twin towers employed over 160,000
people.The hit on New York was the equivalent of 1/10th of an atomic
bomb.It shut down Wall Street. People did start to sell all their paper
assets and it did trigger a panic in the markets. It was the programs that were in place that prohibited a total
break down.
Let’s not
forget we were in a full swing recession when Bush took office.
The
air lines were shut down for like a week.
Our great strength as a
nation and the support all Americans showed by pulling together and helping in the ways we could it why we can
sustain such a blow.
Well really I will get into this later; I will
get all the facts.
The accumulation of the total losses was greater
than most people realize.
As intelligent as you are I really can’t
believe you devalued the hit on our economy and security.
Shortly after all of that we also have sustained the constant
bombardment from the hurricanes, the war efforts, Tsunami relief as well as the cost of oil. Yet we are still
strong.
Holmes
03-24-2005, 10:39 PM
I like the idea of social skills.
Studies show they might be helpful.
DrSmellThis
03-25-2005, 11:14 AM
...more barnburning analysis
from Holmes. :)
Mtnjim
03-25-2005, 12:27 PM
This is a tad tardy, I was "away" from this thread yesterday.
"It is
true that we are now and have always been threatened with invasion and outside forces who wish to do harm to us. But
in what society did they not have such threats."
In truth, we (like China and Russia) will never be
successfully invaded, we're just too large ( think Napoleon in Russia).
"The sense of security I was referring to was
economic and social. Today we have economic security. The mechanisms are in place to insure that."
Mostly,
this was exactly what I was referring to. The national surplus has again been turned into a deficit, one of the
largest, if not the largest, in history. This leads to a weak $ vs other currencies (not just the Euro, but also the
Yen). Good for big international business, not so good for the rest of us. The high paying manufacturing and
technology jobs are being "out sourced" to the lower paying areas. India and China used to be the favorite places,
but now even they are becoming "too expensive" for big business. Meanwhile Mr. Bush's "extraordinarly robust" job
growth consists of jobs that entail flipping burgers and stocking shelves at Wal Mart, real high paying, those jobs.
Good for big international business, not so good for the rest of us.
The "social safety net" for the poor,
infirm, and elderly is being slashed to shreds. Project Headstart and the school meal programs are being massively
under funded. MediCare and Medicaid are facing the threat of elimination. Social Security, well, I'm safe, I am way
old and born before 1958, but most of the rest of you on this board might as well die at 65, unless you are one of
the millionaire CEO buddies of Mr. Bush and friends.
Large corporations are stealing millions from customers
and investors, shifting the wealth to their Officers and other "insiders" and leaving it up to the taxpayers to foot
the bill (Think Enron and World Com/MCI). Meanwhile the CEO's, corperations, and other "favorites" of this
administration are getting huge tax cuts, while the rest of us--well, I paid more in taxes last year than the
previous year, "nuff said.
This stuff isn't just happening on the Federal level. I work for the California
State University system. We have a retirement system called "CalPERS", one of the largest investment powers in the
country. The board of directors has always been careful to make "ethical" investments, and apparently this is
disturbing some in big business. They have convinced "The Arnold" (he!! no, I'm not even going to attempt to spell
his last name:hammer: ) to end CalPERS' influence, and take the retirement funds for other uses. He is now claiming
that State employees get $80,000 a year retirements. Sorry, but not counting the few who's well placed lips to
buttocks landed them 6 figure salaries from political appointments, the average state employee earns $30,000 a year
and gets an $18,000 a year retirement.
This was only meant as an example of practices happening all over,
not just to state employees, and not just in California.
After all, how many private companies have suddenly
told their employees and retirees that they no longer have pensions?
How many manufaturing plant have suddenly
closed after the workers were "assured" their jobs were safe?
So Much for "security"!:frustrate
Holmes
03-25-2005, 12:37 PM
...more
barnburning analysis from Holmes. :)
Au contraire! My days as an arsonist are well behind
me.
Pancho1188
03-25-2005, 02:06 PM
Well actually it is a very valid comparison. Matter of fact the
securities industry makes the comparison in the securities text books.
You greatly underestimated the losses.
By the way there were
many buildings that were totally damaged, not just the towers.
My
home town is 165,000 people and the metropolitan aria is 300,000 total. I said this because the twin towers employed
over 160,000 people.The hit on New York was the equivalent of 1/10th of
an atomic bomb.It shut down Wall Street. People did start to sell all
their paper assets and it did trigger a panic in the markets. It was the programs that were in place that prohibited
a total break down.
Let’s not forget we were in a full swing recession when Bush took office.
The air lines were shut down for like a week.
Our great strength as a nation and the support all Americans showed by pulling together and helping in the
ways we could it why we can sustain such a blow.
Well really I will
get into this later; I will get all the facts.
The accumulation of
the total losses was greater than most people realize.
As
intelligent as you are I really can’t believe you devalued the hit on our economy and security.
Shortly after all of that we also have sustained the constant
bombardment from the hurricanes, the war efforts, Tsunami relief as well as the cost of oil. Yet we are still
strong. You can compare the numbers on Wall Street to the panic that led to the Great
Depression, but you cannot by any means compare the overall economic welfare of individual's ability to provide
food and shelter for themselves and their families. That's the only reason I argued your point because that's what
I believed you were referring to when you talk about the overall economic security of the people of the United
States being at an all-time high.
Yes, the buildings were gone...but the jobs were still there. People just
relocated. In the Great Depression, there were no jobs. The insurance companies were the ones that got hit by the
disaster. The travel industry got hit by the fear to fly. The disaster hit specific industries...the emotional
response hit the entire economy. What happened? As time went on, people regained confidence. The Great Depression
hit every industry, people had no money, and everyone was worried about how they were going to survive economically
for the next day, week, or month. I didn't see anyone afraid of that in 2001...just afraid that they wouldn't have
the money they might have had for retirement. In my opinion, that's not as much of an impact economically.
How
many people were worried about getting enough food for their families after September 11th? Did you see lines of
people waiting to buy a loaf of bread or get some soup? No, because although the effect was great on Wall Street,
the average person didn't lose their source of income or economic well-being from it. I think more companies filed
Chapter 11 from the recession, scandals, and internet bubble than from the disaster.
Yes, we lost billions of
dollars because the Pentagon, the towers, the travel industry, fear, a recession, the internet bubble burst, and
anything else you can think of...but you don't see the individual economic impact you did in the Great Depression.
Again, that's why one is a recession and the other was a depression. You can't consider them in the same league.
I'm not trying to devalue what happened. I think you're comparing something recent that you experienced to
something that happened a long time ago, so it's easy to look back and say, "Oh, this was almost as bad as that."
Yes, the numbers make it look nice and comparable, but qualitatively with regards to the individual American, I
refuse to buy into the belief that you could even begin to compare the two.
In other words, we may just be
looking at this from two different perspectives. You're looking at the numbers, I'm looking at the numbers in
relation to the average person, which I thought was more relevant because we're talking about the economic
well-being of the general population, not companies and industries. To use Mtnjim's reference, we're talking
losing your pension (today) vs. losing your job and funds in the bank (Great Depression). Speaking of pension, back
in the day, people worked until they died. Now, people expect to get almost 20 years of retirement on both savings
and the taxpayer's dime! How's that for economic security?
Mtnjim
03-25-2005, 02:26 PM
"Speaking of pension, back in the
day, people worked until they died. Now, people expect to get almost 20 years of retirement on both savings and the
taxpayer's dime! How's that for economic security?"
And back, back in the day, the lucky and wealthy died
in their late 40's or early 50's. Then in the 1930's (Waaaay before my time) society began the process of
teaching us about "retirement", not just for the wealthy, but for the middle class. So my generation's parents grew
up expecting retirement, my generation grew up expecting retirement, and your generation grew up expecting
retirement. Today, things are a little different. People are retireing for a year or two, then returning to work for
various reasons (just look at the "greeters" at Wal Mart), not always economic. Additionally, there is the talk of
the "boomer echo", where there will be a shortage of labor and industry will be actively recruiting "retirees" not
only for the "greeter" part time job, but for full and part time jobs in their old fields.
Dang, look how
far we've come from the original post on "social skills" and "social anxiety disorder"!!:angel:
Holmes
03-25-2005, 03:41 PM
Dang, look how far
we've come from the original post on "social skills" and "social anxiety disorder"!!:angel:
Hey, I
tried to reel it back in! :lol:
Mtnjim
03-25-2005, 03:45 PM
Hey, I tried
to reel it back in! :lol: Oh! That's what you were doing. I thought you were threating to burn down
someone's barn.:cheers:
OH! Wait, that was the good Doctor!
Happy Friday!!
Pancho1188
03-25-2005, 04:00 PM
Social anxiety disorder is
real for some, and an excuse for others. It has nothing to do with Internet usage. If you think about it,
technology has allowed us to communicate more often...wouldn't you say? You're talking to someone, the phone
rings...you pick it up and talk to them...then you go home to the internet...you chat on Instant Messenger while
you're e-mailing a friend, talking on the phone, and hanging out with a buddy. Social anxiety disorder?!?!? More
like ADHD... ;) ;)
Mtnjim
03-25-2005, 04:05 PM
"Social anxiety disorder is real
for some, and an excuse for others."
True, someone with "social anxiety disorder" wouldn't be able to answer
the phone.
chronic
04-07-2005, 04:58 AM
any known cure for social
anxiety then????
Pancho1188
04-07-2005, 06:06 PM
You can take pills, practice
relaxation techniques, or use NLP to associate social situations with positive feelings. If you're introverted,
though, you just have to learn how to spend your extroverted energy wisely because extroverted activities drain your
batteries.
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