Things that make you go HHMMM!

[culturalblonde]

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge

a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say

there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the

bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a

beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why

do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved

from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are

always white?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will

have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then

reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no

plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light

fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for

doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it
isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you

stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you

always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in

summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my

FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of

mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

[belgareth]

Why do they put Brialle keypads

on drive-up ATMs?

[MOBLEYC57]

Why do they put

Brialle keypads on drive-up ATMs?
'Cause some people see better with their fingers? :blink: :run:

[Pancho1188]

Why do banks charge a

fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do they put Brialle keypads on drive-up

ATMs?Don't get me started...I study retail banking for a living.

[Holmes]

Why do they

use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

:lol:

Who empties the Wishing Well?

[Icarus]

It's the wishing trolls of

course. Pesky smurfles.

Why doesn't batman dance anymore?

[Flash1]

lol you guys are funny

[belgareth]

It's the wishing

trolls of course. Pesky smurfles.

Why doesn't batman dance anymore?
What color do smurfs turn when

they hold their breath?

[Pancho1188]

What's the deal with decaf?

How do they get the caffeine out of there and then where does it go?

What's the deal with brunch? I mean, if

it's a combination of breakfast and lunch, how comes there's no lupper or no linner?

[Icarus]

And what's the deal with

Seinfeld??? ;)

[Pancho1188]

And what's the

deal with Seinfeld??? ;)
Why does CNN have a person talking and a bar at the bottom of the screen that's

constantly scrolling headlines? It's come to the point where there's news on the news! If the news in the bar

was so important, why isn't he just reading that instead? Don't they realize that we're watching TV because we

don't want to read?

What's the deal with the intense human interest in the weather? People ask, "Can you

believe this weather?" and I want to say, "Yes, I can!"

[Mtnjim]

Why do they put

Brialle keypads on drive-up ATMs?
Could it be the same OSHA people that made the strip club put in a

wheel chair ramp to the stage? (In case someone in a wheel chair wanted to be a stripper):hammer:

[Pancho1188]

Technically, all of the ATMs

are the same. ATM manufacturers make no distinction between a regular ATM and one you may drive up next to.

Therefore, they don't take off the braille writing...

...I told you not to get me started, dammit!!! ;)

[belgareth]

Technically,

all of the ATMs are the same. ATM manufacturers make no distinction between a regular ATM and one you may drive up

next to. Therefore, they don't take off the braille writing...

...I told you not to get me started, dammit!!!

;)that would sound good if California did not allow people to take the written portion of the driving test

in braille.

[Pancho1188]

That one I can't answer, but

what I said is the reason why they have braille on drive-through ATMs. Why would you make a different design just to

remove braille?

Actually, maybe someone who can see and also knows braille better than English wants to take a

driver's test. They could learn enough to know what the signs mean but need to take the braille test to understand

it. That sounds a little far-fetched, but I could see the lawsuit now if they didn't do it...

[belgareth]

That one I

can't answer, but what I said is the reason why they have braille on drive-through ATMs. Why would you make a

different design just to remove braille?

Actually, maybe someone who can see and also knows braille better than

English wants to take a driver's test. They could learn enough to know what the signs mean but need to take the

braille test to understand it. That sounds a little far-fetched, but I could see the lawsuit now if they didn't do

it...California also allows for translators to read the questions to non-english speakers. Nothing against

immigrants but being able to read road signs might help them be safer drivers.

It wouldn't need to be a

different design at all. Different keys, they are pretty generic. The part that gets me are the self adhesive

braille stickers next to the keyboard with instructions. The drive up machines are different because they are

designed for lower enclosures that are more weather and impact resistant.

[DrSmellThis]

It makes you go Hmmm, and

that's that, then.

[Pancho1188]

California

also allows for translators to read the questions to non-english speakers. Nothing against immigrants but being able

to read road signs might help them be safer drivers.

It wouldn't need to be a different design at all.

Different keys, they are pretty generic. The part that gets me are the self adhesive braille stickers next to the

keyboard with instructions. The drive up machines are different because they are designed for lower enclosures that

are more weather and impact resistant.
If I remember correctly, the manufacturers and the installers are

either different or separate. Therefore, the manufacturers in some cases don't even know how they'll be used.



The truth is that my information came directly from a manufacturer that stated, "We don't differentiate between

walk-up and drive-up ATMs. They're all the same, so therefore the braille is put on all of them." Coincidentally,

the question was asked due to it being part of the George Carlin routine and e-mail/postings like this. :lol:

[platinumfox]

"Arsenio Hall becoming

famous"

[platinumfox]

Why do

we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on

"insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are

four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the

bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a

beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why

do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved

from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are

always white?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will

have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then

reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no

plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light

fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for

doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it
isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you

stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you

always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in

summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my

FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of

mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.The shopping cart one

makes no sense "the person apologized and you say its all right to be polite"If they person doesnt apologize then I

would use "stupid idiot".

The Kamikaze one is easy to answer.Why does any pilot wear a helmet?Even though

they were suicidal they had to make it to their targets safely so they could commit suicide right?

[platinumfox]

What color

do smurfs turn when they hold their breath?And how do they keep their pants "so smurfy white" when they are

always walking on the ground?

[Pancho1188]

How are there so many smurfs

and only one smurfette?

[a.k.a.]

What kind of pheromones was Michael

Douglas wearing when he snagged Catherine Zeta-Jones?

[Holmes]

Is Carson Kressley gay?

[Elk Dreamer]

How come when you jerk a

closed toilet stall door?
The person in there never takes responsibility? They always say," somebody's in

here!"
Elk

[Pancho1188]

I wonder if video game testers

blow off work by playing other video games...

I wonder if Pepsi employees get fired if they test positive for

Coke...

I wonder if the Burger King is a bachelor. I've never heard about a queen or princess in the 51 years

it's operated.

I wonder what McDonald's means by, "I'm lovin' it." Are they referring to the love of

splurging on fat, salt, and sugar-rich foods that trigger every food pleasure sense of the body or the love of

contributing to the growing obesity epidemic.

I wonder why people say they don't have time to do things and

then go home and watch 3-4 hours of television per day.

I wonder why people who snap and eventually commit

suicide go on a killing spree first. I see a much faster way to get from point A to point B...

I wonder why

people look at paper bus schedules a second time after waiting for an extended period of time. Did the schedule

suddenly change in the 15 minutes since you last checked it? Are you expecting it to read, "4:35 - Sorry, but we're

running late! We'll be there at 4:52."

I wonder why people leave home to buy fast food to save time at the

expense of health when it takes over 20 minutes to go out, get the food, and come back and only 12 minutes to cook a

burger on a George Foreman grill and pop open a Pepsi can. In the winter, you could steam or grill vegetables in the

time it takes to warm up your car so you can go and stuff your face with grease.

I wonder why people take so

much time to find the remote when they could've just gotten up and changed the channel.

I wonder why people

aren't satisfied with the color of their bodies...all this money goes into making their teeth whiter, their skin

darker, their hair richer, their lips redder...

I wonder what would happen if they started advertising

vegetables like they advertise beer. You see a bunch of macho guys with attractive women in bikinis, and they're

eating a vegetable platter. "Nothing makes a party better than Budweiser Broccoli!" I wonder how many people would

start eating veggies after that advertising campaign.