Prerequisites for success with pheromones.

[seduceme]

Allright, so after reading through alot of material here I would like to give my take on it(as it seems

there are some phero-newbies like myself who arent quite 'getting it').

1. You have to be socially

intelligent. This is _KEY_. Without social intelligence how the hell are you going to spot any reactions and

differences in peoples behavior towards you?

2. You have to understand what pheromones really induce and do.

Without this you will have a misconception and possibly 'high hopes' that will get crushed when what some sales

pitch told you would happen doesnt deliver. Seriously, pheromones _will not_ transform you into Brad Pitt!! Which

brings me to my next point...

3. You have to have some sense of approachability and friendliness/attractiveness

before trying pheromones. Why? Well since they will greatly enhance what's already there! Meaning if you look

behave feel and act like a total wierdo freak loser etc then you will come off INCONGRUENT with what the pheromones

are telling others about yourself. However if you look your best(clean, groomed, somewhat decent clothing whatever

your style or image might be, happy/sexy/friendly attitude and projection) then the pheromones will make you that

much more attractive/sociable/likable/etc..!

Humans are much more complex when it comes to social dynamics,

pheromones alone wont dictate your success. They will however in a congruent combination greatly ENHANCE your

success.

[brunoc]

Really good post, had people here

that think that pheros can transform then in the most pretty guy in the world and can get all girls!
for this you

derseve a good reputation !

[DrSmellThis]

You're getting it. That is

another reason why pheromones can take a while to succeed with. You might need to change your behavior to take

advantage of them -- not always a clear and easy task.

"Congruence" (with your pheromone signature) is a useful

concept, I think, but it doesn't always mean "stereotypical alpha male." Ultimately, I think it is ideally just an

improved version of yourself -- if you are using pheromones correctly (hygience practices can have an effect too).

[Gegogi]

I think you missed the most

important prerequisite for sucess (& Dr. S hinted at it): you must be actively involved in creating attraction. And

that may involve changing your lifestyle (hopefully a better you). Pheromones enhance what exists and won't draw

women to a dead man. Specially you must be aggresive enough to initiate contact. Plus, you need to maintain a

desirable persona, physical appearance and social standing (as you mentioned). You need your target in your personal

space for several minutes in order for the 'mones to work, so your social skills and appearance are crucial in

attracting and holding them. Then and only then will 'mones work their magic and give you an edge.

If you

merely sit and observe women walk by with a grin on your face you'll enjoy little sucess. Even when attracted to

you, most women expect you to make the first move. So you need be a bit more than just friendly, clean and well

dressed.

[Silcat]

well, i guess i'm out of luck

then, because i was hoping pheromones would make things easier, like in " making most of the job", in what removing

any weirdo/freak/loser aura i might have... So i still have to learn to dress myself stylish anyway, and learn to

aproach women, and learn to sound confident...

I was hoping those DILHS to make room for an aproach without the

"what the hell does this weirdo want" look when i try to be nice to a girl...

:sad:

[CptKipling]

well, i guess

i'm out of luck then, because i was hoping pheromones would make things easier, like in " making most of the job",

in what removing any weirdo/freak/loser aura i might have... So i still have to learn to dress myself stylish

anyway, and learn to aproach women, and learn to sound confident...

I was hoping those DILHS to make room for

an aproach without the "what the hell does this weirdo want" look when i try to be nice to a girl...



:sad:
Why on earth would you want such an "easy" short cut? Wouldn't it be better to become al of those

things as well? It builds character.

[Silcat]

But i don't have character or

what people call "sense of self", of course i can appear to be stronger and confident than i really am, but what's

the point? I end up feeling as much alone. I get the feeling people nowadays are in the ethernal search for the

right person, and they hope that person wants to be with them, but at the same time don't want someone that might

depended too much on them in the emotional field, wich, of course, IS what makes people stay together or search for

mate in the first place. Go figure... I'm more convinced as time goes by that it's all a selfish, self centered

search for some ideal that tv and movies drill into people's minds. Then again, i might be self centered in my

misery toughts... But what can i do? Pretend i do not feel alone, pretend i do not feel anything?

Just

releasing some steam, no need for answer...

[seduceme]

well, i guess

i'm out of luck then, because i was hoping pheromones would make things easier, like in " making most of the job",

in what removing any weirdo/freak/loser aura i might have... So i still have to learn to dress myself stylish

anyway, and learn to aproach women, and learn to sound confident...

I was hoping those DILHS to make room

for an aproach without the "what the hell does this weirdo want" look when i try to be nice to a girl...



:sad:

So basically what youre saying is that driven by your own crave for instant gratification

youre hoping these pheromones will be the magic pill that will cure everything?

Guess again buddy.

I

get DIHLs without pheromones. I get approached by 4-5 women on average when I go out socializing at lounges and

clubs. It has NOTHING to do with looks or pheromones(or it might have but i'll get to that in a

minute).

Why?

It all started 6 months ago when I decided it was time to learn how to become good at

seducing women. I had approachanxiety, never had a girl approach me, been in 2 relationships ever (at the age of 20)

etc. It was actually a bit of socialnervousness although I had solid socialcircles to tend to.

So what

happened? I met a very skilled guy through an internetcommunity dealing with seduction, by luck he actually lived in

the same town as me so we hooked up and he started showing me stuff. Everything I read went completely opposite to

what he was showing and it dawned upon me.

To become a seductionist, womanizer or just generally better with

women it all boils down to the transfer or recognition of self-worth. Now think about that a minute, its exactly

what happened to me. I actually started to believe I was attractive, funny, intelligent, sociable, likable etc. My

identity started to morph and change into a more attractive and likable one.

It inspired me, gave me hope

and drive. I took the ball and then I ran with it, I dwelved myself in books covering socialpsychology and

evolutionarypsychology expanding my knowledge in the subject and going out in the field gaining practical experience

implementing the ideas and concepts. I started to analyze my results and draw my own conclusions. Come up with my

own theories and basically for awhile there thought about it 24/7.

BAM! It all started to hit me, I got on

firstname basis with club/loungemanagers, bouncers, bartenders. Girls started approaching me, bartenders started

giving me free drinks, partying with me afterwards and people at work started to pay for my lunch, treat me with

more respect, inviting me to different happenings etc etc etc.

All of this had a synergical effect ofcourse,

as I had to assume I was all this in the beginning , the experiences validated my assumptions and became my beliefs.



Now has my physical apperance changed anything during these 6 months? Not really, I havent been working out

nor neglecting my health in regards to foodconsumption. Neither have I conciously changed it by piercings, tattoos

or the like. I have bought some new clothes but they havent differed much from my previous ones. I havent been using

pheromones during this trip. HOWEVER I do believe I've undergone momentary changes of hormones and the like when I

actually started to have alot of sex with different partners. The psychology behind all this might aswell have had a

physical impact of change on my body.(thus resulting in naturally higher pheromonelevels?).

Now did I ever

use a magical pill to get better?
NO! It took hard work and persistence. BUT I am now reaping the rewards and let

me tell you, its all frigging worth it!

But go ahead, try pheromones, get disappointed, hit rockbottom to

gain the motivation and then grab the bull by the horns.

Good luck!


PS Human social endeavors and

mating rituals are alot more dynamic than by pheromones and scent alone DS

[Friendly1]

But i don't have

character or what people call "sense of self", of course i can appear to be stronger and confident than i really am,

but what's the point? I end up feeling as much alone. I get the feeling people nowadays are in the ethernal search

for the right person, and they hope that person wants to be with them, but at the same time don't want someone that

might depended too much on them in the emotional field, wich, of course, IS what makes people stay together or

search for mate in the first place. Go figure... I'm more convinced as time goes by that it's all a selfish, self

centered search for some ideal that tv and movies drill into people's minds. Then again, i might be self centered

in my misery toughts... But what can i do? Pretend i do not feel alone, pretend i do not feel anything?


Venting steam only gets you so far.

Before you can have the right girl, you have to be the right man. And

that usually means going out there and making mistakes and learning from them.

Feeling sorry for yourself, or

feeling lost and forgotten, or in any way feeling like the world has left you behind doesn't cut the mustard.



It really takes less effort to change yourself than most guys believe. You change one thing today, one thing

tomorrow. They can be small things. Eventually, you reach a stage where you are ready to make a larger change --

in fact, you will WANT to make that change.

You pick up speed from there.

[seduceme]

But i don't have

character or what people call "sense of self", of course i can appear to be stronger and confident than i really am,

but what's the point? I end up feeling as much alone. I get the feeling people nowadays are in the ethernal search

for the right person, and they hope that person wants to be with them, but at the same time don't want someone that

might depended too much on them in the emotional field, wich, of course, IS what makes people stay together or

search for mate in the first place. Go figure... I'm more convinced as time goes by that it's all a selfish, self

centered search for some ideal that tv and movies drill into people's minds. Then again, i might be self centered

in my misery toughts... But what can i do? Pretend i do not feel alone, pretend i do not feel anything?



Just releasing some steam, no need for answer...

You do seem pretty full of resentment and

cynicism.
The ones that complain are usually the ones that disdain from the percieved unattainable.

[TRock]

BAM! It all

started to hit me, I got on firstname basis with club/loungemanagers, bouncers, bartenders. Girls started

approaching me, bartenders started giving me free drinks, partying with me afterwards and people at work started to

pay for my lunch, treat me with more respect, inviting me to different happenings etc etc etc.


how

often did you out for you to accomplish this and how big is the city you live in?

[seduceme]

how often did you

out for you to accomplish this and how big is the city you live in?

It was usually 3 times a week,

thursdays fridays and saturdays. Obviously any sane person knows you can't get hammered all three days unless youre

a superman of sorts. I'd have a few drinks and some saturdays I chose to get hammered but that was it. Occasionally

I'd go out even 4 times a week.

Now however its reduced to 1 or 2 times a week where 1 is completely sober.

I am moving away from it as im expanding my socialcircle and doing things besides this clubgame, its actually to the

point where I have to go just to stay in touch with the people working at these places.

I live in a city of

150,000 people where 25000 are universitystudents.

[Silcat]

The ones

that complain are usually the ones that disdain from the percieved unattainable.

"disdain fom the

percieved unattainable", sorry, do you mind explaining this last part (i'm not a native english speaker)

[TRock]

what i think seduceme is saying is

like calling a hot chick a slut or ugly because you believe you have no chance at her.

[Holmes]

"disdain fom the

percieved unattainable", sorry, do you mind explaining this last part (i not a native english

speaker)

The ones who are bitter because they think they can't have what they want.

[Silcat]

what i think

seduceme is saying is like calling a hot chick a slut or ugly because you believe you have no chance at her



I would agree, but that does not explain the ones i think that are high in my opinion... Following that

theory i would be enable to have a good opinion about people unless i got something from them. I believe that's not

the case.

[seduceme]

I would agree,

but that does not explain the ones i think that are high in my opinion... Following that theory i would be enable to

have a good opinion about people unless i got something from them. I believe that's not the

case.


That was just his example.
I meant more like while people are actively pursuing what

they want and like and experiencing life love and enjoying it youre self-pitying and generalizing about it with a

cynical view of how theyre all influenced by TV,movies and chasing an ideal.

That is your view, not theirs.

Theyre having fun, youre feeling lonely.

[Silcat]

"That is your view, not theirs.

Theyre having fun, youre feeling lonely."

I guess i am, i guess i am that weak.

[DrSmellThis]

That was just

his example.
I meant more like while people are actively pursuing what they want and like and experiencing life

love and enjoying it youre self-pitying and generalizing about it with a cynical view of how theyre all influenced

by TV,movies and chasing an ideal.

That is your view, not theirs. They're having fun, youre feeling

lonely.This is a bit insensitive, though not ill-willed. People get depressed and lonely even when pursuing

their dreams.

Most people get lonely and depressed sometimes. We live in an alienated, lonely culture! This is

the suffering of our time, as documented in song by the Beatles ("Elanor Rigby") and America ("Lonely People"), for

example. You have to accept it and do what you can to live the kind of life you want. At least we're not starving

right now or getting our asses blown up (most of us, anyway). But that doesn't make it all good. It's just some

suffering that goes along with life at this moment. It's real, but thank goodness it's not all there is.

For

me right now going to bed early and getting up early helps, since I get lonlier at night. At night I allow myself to

get tired as soon as I can and sleep, unless something special is happening. Then I get productive chasing my dreams

during the day, and try to be thankful I have an opportunity to do this. But everyone has little and big things they

can do.

[seduceme]

"That is your

view, not theirs. Theyre having fun, youre feeling lonely."

I guess i am, i guess i am that

weak.


Good, first step is always recognition. Now you have a vantagepoint to work from. Focus,

effort and persistence is all it takes!

[seduceme]

This is a

bit insensitive, though not ill-willed. People get depressed and lonely even when pursuing their dreams.



Most people get lonely and depressed sometimes. We live in an alienated, lonely culture! This is the suffering

of our time, as documented in song by the Beatles ("Elanor Rigby") and America ("Lonely People"), for example. You

have to accept it and do what you can to live the kind of life you want. At least we're not starving right now or

getting our asses blown up (most of us, anyway). But that doesn't make it all good. It's just some suffering that

goes along with life at this moment. It's real, but thank goodness it's not all there is.

For me right now

going to bed early and getting up early helps, since I get lonlier at night. At night I allow myself to get tired as

soon as I can and sleep, unless something special is happening. Then I get productive chasing my dreams during the

day, and try to be thankful I have an opportunity to do this. But everyone has little and big things they can

do.

I know, I had the same thoughts when I previewed my post(geeze I might be a bit harsh here) BUT,

I was just holding up the mirror of reality. Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes it takes the truth before

people change. I understand the concept of sugarcoating it to protect the other individuals ego a bit. The trick is

to get it right, so far that he feels a desire to change but not too far to induce an opposite reaction.

[DrSmellThis]

It's not about sugarcoating

it. It's about not mistaking depression/legitimate loneliness for self-pity or something pathetic. If you're going

to hold up a "mirror of reality", compassion and understanding help make the reflection more real. I've been

there, and I know people have all kinds of thoughts when they're down.

I know you mean to help, though. You are

right that a swift kick can sometimes help, as long as it motivates rather than beats down. I liked your next post

much better.

But it's important to realize that depression takes the neurological energy out of one's positive

thoughts, making one feel "too weak". You try to think something positive, but it seems like it does no good.

At these times, you have to revivify yourself somehow so that your positive thoughts can have "wind in their sails".



Then when you think something positive it will really change you. I hope that makes sense.

The challenge is

to fight through it every time, to the extent you can; not to get down on yourself for feeling and thinking it.