MOBLEYC57
02-16-2005, 08:49 PM
Howdy
Folks! :wave:
Since this subject hit the forum, I've collected things/notes that caught my interest, and
wanted to share them. I'm sure there's lots more that can be added, but this is what I have. Sorry, no links.
:wave:
BODY LANGUAGE NOTES:
The less you move about
(body movement) when entering a room, the more powerful and credible you are perceived to be.
To accurately
interpret a person’s body language one must be aware of (1) the culture in which it takes place, (2) whether the
environment is professional or personal, (3) the gender of the participant, and (4) be sure you’re receiving more
than 1 sign (the more signs you see, the greater the possibilities are that you’ve read her interest in you
correctly).
GESTURES
* Catching one’s eye
gaze, and holding it long than what is considered normal.
* Preening - A woman may
stroke her hair, twirl or toss her hair, check her makeup in a mirror, or rearrange her clothing.
* Moving in for the kill (cutting the space/distance between you two) - Some signs that someone is
trying to command your attention is the pouting of the lips, crossing and uncrossing the legs, placing the hands on
the hips, thrusting the hips out and leaning one’s body in toward you.
* Swaying
of her body and hips as she walks.
EYE
CONTACT
In a business or classroom situation, hard eye
contact is possible, but you must consider the professional setting. To help figure it out, you can look to see if
the body is turned away from you, or towards you.
SIGNS OF SEXUAL
INTEREST
* Intense eye contact (which will often shift to sexual organs,
like the breast or genitalia, or looking the intended up and down).
* An overly
exaggerated or coy smile
* Concocted
laughter
* Winking
* Licking
the lips to wet them
* Touching oneself in a flirtatious
manner
* Overtly touching the intended target
* Overtly thrusting out the
breast and/or hips
* Swaying of the hips
* Wearing of revealing clothing or excessive
makeup
* Slightly separating her legs (in invitation) when seated.
* Holding her hands
near her breast or thighs when talking.
* Forward thrusting of her breast.
* Slowly
licking her lips
* Hair twirl with a finger
* Lightly rubbing her
neck/leg
* Lightly running a finger across her lip(s), breast
* Playing with her
jewelry
* Looking at your lips when you talk
* Showing more leg then is appropriate (if
in a dress)
HOW TO TELL IF SHE’S PLAYING HARD TO GET
She’ll give the SIGNS OF SEXUAL INTEREST before turning and walking away. To determine if there’s genuine
interest, just look into her eyes. If she’s truly attracted, her eyes will drop, but will return to meet your
gaze.
STEPS IN CREATING SEXUAL ATTRACTION
OPEN POSTURE. DO NOT cross anything ... arms, legs, or sit or stand with hunched over
shoulders.
FACE YOUR PROSPECT, making sure you’re entire body is facing her.
THE
FLIRTING TRIANGLE - When the eyes travel from the eyes down the face, (for a more prolong period) to the mouth,
and for the more daring, the chest or genitalia area. The more intense flirting will have one looking from eye to
eye, and make sure you concentrate on the lips. Constantly looking at the lips will have them wondering if you’re
fantasizing about kissing them. The wider the flirting triangle, the more sexual interest exists.
MIRRORING
- Mirroring is one of the most powerful and influential body language skills we can possess. Whatever moves she
makes, you make, but work to not be so obvious. The concept of mirroring is to get someone to like you, and works as
a bonding mechanism. (1) NEVER mimic a negative movement (crossing of the arms or legs), (2) allow at least 50
SECONDS to pass before mirroring your target.
THE EYEBROW FLASH - When we first encounter someone that we
find attractive, our eyebrows instinctively rise and fall in a flirtatious pattern. Recognizing this can be very
advantageous to someone looking for romantic interest. It only last about one fifth of a second, so one has to
really be paying attention. If you want to let someone know of your romantic interest, magnify the eyebrow flash,
coupled with a smile.
POINTING - It’s natural for people to point at things that draws their interest, so
pay attention to their feet and hands. On a more subconscious level, people will position themselves so that their
hands, arms, legs, feet, toes and even their entire body at someone they’re interested in. If you want to let
someone know you’re interested in them, turn your body towards them.
BLINKING - Focus on her pupils,
which instinctively dilates when she sees someone, or something that interests her. Likewise, blinking
proportionately increases with this augmentation in pupil size. It is said that you can increase the blinking
rate of your target by blinking more yourself.
FOUR RULES FOR CREATING
ATTRACTION
* If someone hasn’t picked up on your interest, or is not
responding ... Do the opposite of what she’s doing. The opposite of mirroring ... she crosses her arms, you uncross
yours, she uncrosses her legs, you cross yours.
* Physically invade the other person’s territory,
SLOWLY to gradually break down her defense.
* Visual intrusion. Allow the eyes to do the talking for you. Let
them sensuously linger on her lips, neck, throat, collarbone, or breast (places you would like to kiss her).
*
Licking your lips, and narrowing of the eyes (bedroom eyes) also stirs arousal.
* Focus your
full attention on your target ONLY.
SIGNS OF
LYING
* Covering the mouth. People will try to cover it with a manufactured cough.
*
Stroking the nose.
* Closed palms
* Lack of eye contact - Women tend to look up at the ceiling and rub under
their eye to not give direct eye contact.
* Prolonged contact or heavy staring is the throw off method of
covering it up.
* She looks up and to the left ... normally, mentally conjuring up something - she’s lying
*
She looks up and to the right ... normally, she’s recalling an image - she’s not lying
* Minute facial
expressions
* Increased sweating
READING POSTURE
* Open posture
and leaning forward - an indication that she is responsive to and accepting what you’re telling her.
* Open
posture and leaning backwards - an indication that she is evaluating the information that you are giving her.
*
Closed posture and leaning forward - an indication that she isn’t paying any attention to what you’re saying. She’s
either skeptical or angry at what has been said.
* Closed posture and leaning backwards - an indication that she
wants to flee the situation completely.
SHE’S REJECTING YOU IF...
*
She rubs her nose
* Crosses that arms and legs
* Rubbing the hands or tugging at her ear
DATING YOUNGER WOMEN
THE SPECIFICS... WHAT, WHEN,
HOW WHY, WHERE...
Here are some specific ideas for dating younger women.
REMEMBER: These are WOMEN. They're not a different species.
1) Be Cool, Dude. When most older
guys meet a younger woman that they feel attracted to, they immediately begin to act WEIRD. They stop acting like
"themselves". Now, women don't know what you're like "normally", but they can tell INSTANTLY if you're NOT ACTING
LIKE YOURSELF. Us guys do all kinds of subtle and not-so-subtle little things when we're feeling nervous... and
these things give women the HEEBIE JEEBIES! So be cool. Relax. Don't act like a Wussbag.
2) Treat her like a
BRATTY LITTLE SISTER. Now that you're being "cool", take it to the NEXT LEVEL... Use one of my favorite personal
techniques, and treat her like your BRATTY LITTLE SIS. Tease her. Make fun. It's OK, go for it. Say all the things
you never had a chance to say when you were a freshman. Now's your big chance! And don't worry about it when she
plays "fake mad". Just turn it up some more. Oh, and call her on everything she does, or say that's immature. I
can't go into all the reasons why this is a great idea, but it is. You keep your power, you have all kinds of
opportunities to be Cocky & Funny, and you can always keep things interesting and challenging. Oh, and it's
COMPLETELY different than the way most Wussies treat her... which is good.
3) Don't try to follow or get her to
lead. Women in general are not attracted to men who don't take the lead... and younger women are no exception. In
fact, younger women have less experience in life, so trying to get them to lead and tell you what they want you to
do is just a horrible idea. Don't do it. You lead. You decide where you're going. You make the rules. If you try
to make her the boss, you'll run her off faster than you can say "I touch myself."
4) Don't try to take
advantage of the situation. Most attractive young women have had at LEAST one "icky older guy" that "tried
something" with her. Younger women are HYPER-ALERT when it comes to sketchy behavior. If you try to take advantage
of the situation or try to "make a move" too early, you'll most likely signal to her that you're a "perv" and that
you aren't to be trusted. Lean back. Chill. Give her room. When you walk down the street with her, bump into her
and push her AWAY from you. Tell her not to walk too close to you... tell her that other people might think
something. If you're alone with her in your living room, don't sit right next to her. If she touches you while
talking, don't touch her back... or even make fun of it and say "Keep your hands off the goods."
5) Don't
intrude on or interfere with her life. You must remember that younger women have lives of their own. Often they're
very close to their families, and they're unsure of how their families would respond if they found out that their
pride and joy daughter was dating an older guy. Remember, she just got FREE of the overbearing father... and she
doesn't need a new one. Don't call her at work, don't show up to see her unexpectedly, and don't embarrass her.
If you want to make an attractive young woman perform magic (the instant disappearing act), just interfere with her
life. She's free, so let her be free. Encourage it, even. Don't interfere.
6) Let her come to you... don't
chase her. If you want to make friends with a cat, the best tactic is to IGNORE IT. Cats are interesting creatures.
Have you ever noticed that if you chase a cat, it will run... but if you sit and ignore it, you'll soon find
yourself pushing it off of your lap? Same goes for younger women. Like I just mentioned, younger women have often
just "escaped" from controlling parents, structured lives, and zero freedom. If she's attracted to you, it's not
because you're creating the environment that she just left... it's because you represent something different.
You'll find that if you call her all the time and chase her, she'll be harder to get a hold of, and less likely to
continue to see you. If you let her go, let her live her life, and make yourself more scarce, you'll be more likely
to have her pursuing YOU. Be the man that she's always dreamed about, and then don't chase her.
7) EXPECT her
to change. If you're dating a woman between the ages of 18 and 23, you need to remember that her life is probably
going to change DRAMATICALLY over the next few years. You need to keep an open mind, and not try to restrict or
hinder her options. You need to expect and even encourage her to grow, change, and become all she can be. The
reality is that the chances are SLIM that she's going to be with you in a few years. In fact, the chances are slim
that she's even going to be the same person in a few years. Get over it, and be OK with it. Challenge her to grow,
achieve, and be her best... and don't accept second-class behavior from her. But she's going to change, so expect
it.
8) Be CHIVALROUS. Most younger women have had VERY FEW men in their lives who even know what the word
"Chivalry" means. If you're one of those men, then you need to LEARN what the word means. Opening doors, walking on
the outside of the curb, and pulling out chairs makes a BIG impression on younger women. When you combine a
masculine, powerful presence with chivalry, you will stand out and make yourself VERY intriguing and attractive.
9) Stay totally calm in the face of drama. Younger women often have a lot of drama happening around them, and they
often act dramatic. I could write an entire book about all the things that a young woman has going on around her
that are TOTALLY UNSTABLE... And the most influential one is the other people in her life. If she freaks out about
something, don't let it get to you. Stay cool and calm. Don't try to fix all her problems, and don't try to stand
in for her dad. She isn't looking for advice, so don't give it to her (unless she asks seriously, and in a
non-emotional tone). One of the things that makes you attractive as an older man is the stability that you bring. So
BRING IT.
10) Be conscious of how often you see her and speak with her. Younger women are less in-control of
their emotions... and can become attached more quickly and easily. The "trigger" for a woman "becoming attached" is
how often you see her and talk to her. If you want to trigger the "relationship" mechanism, spend a lot of time with
her. If you DON'T want to trigger those emotions, you need to limit the time you spend with her. As a rule of
thumb, don't see her more than once a week, and don't talk to her more than once or twice a week unless you want
her to start becoming very attached to you. And I don't care what you SAY... it's the AMOUNT OF TIME you spend
with her that makes this determination. Trust me.
UNDERSTAND ATTRACTION: As always, the
most IMPORTANT thing you must understand when dating younger women is how ATTRACTION WORKS. If you don't understand
ATTRACTION, then none of what I just taught you will make a damn bit of difference... In fact, if you don't
understand ATTRACTION, then most of the things I just taught you above will probably BACKFIRE on you. So what's the
best way to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you? In fact, what's the fastest, most efficient, most
complete, most EFFECTIVE way to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you available in the world? Do the
opposite of what you think you should do to win her over. If you put a young, beautiful woman in a guys house on his
couch, he doesn't know the FIRST THING about how to make her feel ATTRACTION for him. He'll do things to please
her, hoping that at some point she begins to get "into the mood"... and then somehow lets him know. It will NEVER
HAPPEN. But if that guy knows the secrets of how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION... and how to smoothly take things
to a physical level without triggering resistance and rejection... then he will be successful almost every
time.
AN IRONIC PROLOGUE: As I sat in Starbucks writing this newsletter on my
laptop, across from me is a couple sitting at a table talking. And guess what? He's obviously older. He's probably
in his early 30s. She looks and sounds like she's around 19 or 20 years old.
It's obvious that this is the
first time that they've met (they're wrapping up their conversation, and she just said "It was nice meeting you").
He wasn't saying much, and she was basically doing all the talking... and boy was she ever talking. About a million
miles a minute...
She was leading the entire conversation, and he was trying to be a "nice guy" and let her
lead things.
She was talking about what life was like before she moved away from her parents.
She was
saying "My parents were overbearing" and talking about what it was like to live at home. The guy was sitting there
nervously talking to her... and fidgeting. She was asking him questions like "What is your family like", and he was
trying to give her "good answers" like "My family is nice, and my parents are sweet" etc.
It was obvious that
she was trying to keep the conversation going, and he was trying his best not to "say anything stupid"... he was
trying to seem like a "nice guy". At one point when she asked him a question, he sat forward, turned his hands up in
the air in a "I'm just a regular guy, nothing special here" gesture, and answered about himself.
They just got
up and left. It was PAINFULLY CLEAR to me that this guy did NOT understand what to do in this situation. He probably
met her online in a chat or on a personals website. He was probably all excited about meeting her. He probably
offered to take her to dinner, and paid for an expensive meal... and maybe even a movie before winding up at
Starbucks. He probably has no idea whether or not she is interested in him, and he will probably go home tonight
wishing he would have kissed her... and wishing he would have "made a move". He didn't get it. DON'T BE
THAT GUY!
One thing to look for when you are unsure of a woman’s interest is
whether the woman is tightly clasping their hands together or crossing their feet at the ankles underneath their
chairs (almost putting their feet behind them). These are signs that they are feeling anxious and are trying to
maintain control over themselves. The hand clasping is a more certain signal (in my experience). The woman is
usually standing when she does this (because she cannot cross her ankles and be ladylike). So, if you move closer,
she may make nervous eye contact with you (if you are the reason why she is feeling that way). If you move farther
away she may relax a bit and try to check you out. If she doesn't change her posture after you change your
position, she is probably not thinking about you/attracted to you.
I should also have mentioned that you can
look at which direction their feet are pointing, and in which direction they are aiming their torsos. Tonight, a
woman who was very interested in me sat down and talked with another man for about five minutes. Nonetheless,
wherever I stood in the room, her feet managed to point toward me. She continually shifted her position so that I
remained in her eyesight. But she did not flip her hair, adjust her clothing, rub her legs, thrust her breasts out
at me, or smile at me, or send any of the classic "I am interested in you" signals (she is probably 30ish). She was
very cool, very subtle. I already knew beforehand she was interested in me but I was somewhat amused AND amazed to
see how she maintained that non-verbal connection with me while maintaining a full conversation with the other man
(and SHE was doing most of the talking). Women send signals men just never realize are there. I am sure the other
guy thought she was into him. She was just being polite and answering his questions.
SELLING
AND INFLUENCING
They’re possibly interested in buying if they are ...
maintaining eye contact, turning their body towards you, nod their head in agreement to what you have to
say.
INCREASING THE PROBABILITY OF A SALE
*
Stand up when greeting someone
* Study their formality and energy level and
match them with your own
* Put forth a strong and effective handshake
* Convey open and relaxed posture
* Allow your body language to match your words
* Move closer to your target
* Keep your hands in neutral
position, and never point
* Use leaning to your advantage:
- LEAN IN to display interest;
- LEAN BACK
when you’re making a point to be taken seriously; and
- MAINTAIN NEUTRAL POSTURE when discussing prices.
*
Allow brief silences
* Make a lasting impression - Stand up straight, give a firm handshake, and
maintain good eye contact when closing a deal.
-------------------------------------
I didn't write any of this, but I
collected bits and pieces as I ran into things here and there. Body Language is hard if ya ask me, but, I can see
where it can be useful!
Hope something in
here helps ya! :wave:
Folks! :wave:
Since this subject hit the forum, I've collected things/notes that caught my interest, and
wanted to share them. I'm sure there's lots more that can be added, but this is what I have. Sorry, no links.
:wave:
BODY LANGUAGE NOTES:
The less you move about
(body movement) when entering a room, the more powerful and credible you are perceived to be.
To accurately
interpret a person’s body language one must be aware of (1) the culture in which it takes place, (2) whether the
environment is professional or personal, (3) the gender of the participant, and (4) be sure you’re receiving more
than 1 sign (the more signs you see, the greater the possibilities are that you’ve read her interest in you
correctly).
GESTURES
* Catching one’s eye
gaze, and holding it long than what is considered normal.
* Preening - A woman may
stroke her hair, twirl or toss her hair, check her makeup in a mirror, or rearrange her clothing.
* Moving in for the kill (cutting the space/distance between you two) - Some signs that someone is
trying to command your attention is the pouting of the lips, crossing and uncrossing the legs, placing the hands on
the hips, thrusting the hips out and leaning one’s body in toward you.
* Swaying
of her body and hips as she walks.
EYE
CONTACT
In a business or classroom situation, hard eye
contact is possible, but you must consider the professional setting. To help figure it out, you can look to see if
the body is turned away from you, or towards you.
SIGNS OF SEXUAL
INTEREST
* Intense eye contact (which will often shift to sexual organs,
like the breast or genitalia, or looking the intended up and down).
* An overly
exaggerated or coy smile
* Concocted
laughter
* Winking
* Licking
the lips to wet them
* Touching oneself in a flirtatious
manner
* Overtly touching the intended target
* Overtly thrusting out the
breast and/or hips
* Swaying of the hips
* Wearing of revealing clothing or excessive
makeup
* Slightly separating her legs (in invitation) when seated.
* Holding her hands
near her breast or thighs when talking.
* Forward thrusting of her breast.
* Slowly
licking her lips
* Hair twirl with a finger
* Lightly rubbing her
neck/leg
* Lightly running a finger across her lip(s), breast
* Playing with her
jewelry
* Looking at your lips when you talk
* Showing more leg then is appropriate (if
in a dress)
HOW TO TELL IF SHE’S PLAYING HARD TO GET
She’ll give the SIGNS OF SEXUAL INTEREST before turning and walking away. To determine if there’s genuine
interest, just look into her eyes. If she’s truly attracted, her eyes will drop, but will return to meet your
gaze.
STEPS IN CREATING SEXUAL ATTRACTION
OPEN POSTURE. DO NOT cross anything ... arms, legs, or sit or stand with hunched over
shoulders.
FACE YOUR PROSPECT, making sure you’re entire body is facing her.
THE
FLIRTING TRIANGLE - When the eyes travel from the eyes down the face, (for a more prolong period) to the mouth,
and for the more daring, the chest or genitalia area. The more intense flirting will have one looking from eye to
eye, and make sure you concentrate on the lips. Constantly looking at the lips will have them wondering if you’re
fantasizing about kissing them. The wider the flirting triangle, the more sexual interest exists.
MIRRORING
- Mirroring is one of the most powerful and influential body language skills we can possess. Whatever moves she
makes, you make, but work to not be so obvious. The concept of mirroring is to get someone to like you, and works as
a bonding mechanism. (1) NEVER mimic a negative movement (crossing of the arms or legs), (2) allow at least 50
SECONDS to pass before mirroring your target.
THE EYEBROW FLASH - When we first encounter someone that we
find attractive, our eyebrows instinctively rise and fall in a flirtatious pattern. Recognizing this can be very
advantageous to someone looking for romantic interest. It only last about one fifth of a second, so one has to
really be paying attention. If you want to let someone know of your romantic interest, magnify the eyebrow flash,
coupled with a smile.
POINTING - It’s natural for people to point at things that draws their interest, so
pay attention to their feet and hands. On a more subconscious level, people will position themselves so that their
hands, arms, legs, feet, toes and even their entire body at someone they’re interested in. If you want to let
someone know you’re interested in them, turn your body towards them.
BLINKING - Focus on her pupils,
which instinctively dilates when she sees someone, or something that interests her. Likewise, blinking
proportionately increases with this augmentation in pupil size. It is said that you can increase the blinking
rate of your target by blinking more yourself.
FOUR RULES FOR CREATING
ATTRACTION
* If someone hasn’t picked up on your interest, or is not
responding ... Do the opposite of what she’s doing. The opposite of mirroring ... she crosses her arms, you uncross
yours, she uncrosses her legs, you cross yours.
* Physically invade the other person’s territory,
SLOWLY to gradually break down her defense.
* Visual intrusion. Allow the eyes to do the talking for you. Let
them sensuously linger on her lips, neck, throat, collarbone, or breast (places you would like to kiss her).
*
Licking your lips, and narrowing of the eyes (bedroom eyes) also stirs arousal.
* Focus your
full attention on your target ONLY.
SIGNS OF
LYING
* Covering the mouth. People will try to cover it with a manufactured cough.
*
Stroking the nose.
* Closed palms
* Lack of eye contact - Women tend to look up at the ceiling and rub under
their eye to not give direct eye contact.
* Prolonged contact or heavy staring is the throw off method of
covering it up.
* She looks up and to the left ... normally, mentally conjuring up something - she’s lying
*
She looks up and to the right ... normally, she’s recalling an image - she’s not lying
* Minute facial
expressions
* Increased sweating
READING POSTURE
* Open posture
and leaning forward - an indication that she is responsive to and accepting what you’re telling her.
* Open
posture and leaning backwards - an indication that she is evaluating the information that you are giving her.
*
Closed posture and leaning forward - an indication that she isn’t paying any attention to what you’re saying. She’s
either skeptical or angry at what has been said.
* Closed posture and leaning backwards - an indication that she
wants to flee the situation completely.
SHE’S REJECTING YOU IF...
*
She rubs her nose
* Crosses that arms and legs
* Rubbing the hands or tugging at her ear
DATING YOUNGER WOMEN
THE SPECIFICS... WHAT, WHEN,
HOW WHY, WHERE...
Here are some specific ideas for dating younger women.
REMEMBER: These are WOMEN. They're not a different species.
1) Be Cool, Dude. When most older
guys meet a younger woman that they feel attracted to, they immediately begin to act WEIRD. They stop acting like
"themselves". Now, women don't know what you're like "normally", but they can tell INSTANTLY if you're NOT ACTING
LIKE YOURSELF. Us guys do all kinds of subtle and not-so-subtle little things when we're feeling nervous... and
these things give women the HEEBIE JEEBIES! So be cool. Relax. Don't act like a Wussbag.
2) Treat her like a
BRATTY LITTLE SISTER. Now that you're being "cool", take it to the NEXT LEVEL... Use one of my favorite personal
techniques, and treat her like your BRATTY LITTLE SIS. Tease her. Make fun. It's OK, go for it. Say all the things
you never had a chance to say when you were a freshman. Now's your big chance! And don't worry about it when she
plays "fake mad". Just turn it up some more. Oh, and call her on everything she does, or say that's immature. I
can't go into all the reasons why this is a great idea, but it is. You keep your power, you have all kinds of
opportunities to be Cocky & Funny, and you can always keep things interesting and challenging. Oh, and it's
COMPLETELY different than the way most Wussies treat her... which is good.
3) Don't try to follow or get her to
lead. Women in general are not attracted to men who don't take the lead... and younger women are no exception. In
fact, younger women have less experience in life, so trying to get them to lead and tell you what they want you to
do is just a horrible idea. Don't do it. You lead. You decide where you're going. You make the rules. If you try
to make her the boss, you'll run her off faster than you can say "I touch myself."
4) Don't try to take
advantage of the situation. Most attractive young women have had at LEAST one "icky older guy" that "tried
something" with her. Younger women are HYPER-ALERT when it comes to sketchy behavior. If you try to take advantage
of the situation or try to "make a move" too early, you'll most likely signal to her that you're a "perv" and that
you aren't to be trusted. Lean back. Chill. Give her room. When you walk down the street with her, bump into her
and push her AWAY from you. Tell her not to walk too close to you... tell her that other people might think
something. If you're alone with her in your living room, don't sit right next to her. If she touches you while
talking, don't touch her back... or even make fun of it and say "Keep your hands off the goods."
5) Don't
intrude on or interfere with her life. You must remember that younger women have lives of their own. Often they're
very close to their families, and they're unsure of how their families would respond if they found out that their
pride and joy daughter was dating an older guy. Remember, she just got FREE of the overbearing father... and she
doesn't need a new one. Don't call her at work, don't show up to see her unexpectedly, and don't embarrass her.
If you want to make an attractive young woman perform magic (the instant disappearing act), just interfere with her
life. She's free, so let her be free. Encourage it, even. Don't interfere.
6) Let her come to you... don't
chase her. If you want to make friends with a cat, the best tactic is to IGNORE IT. Cats are interesting creatures.
Have you ever noticed that if you chase a cat, it will run... but if you sit and ignore it, you'll soon find
yourself pushing it off of your lap? Same goes for younger women. Like I just mentioned, younger women have often
just "escaped" from controlling parents, structured lives, and zero freedom. If she's attracted to you, it's not
because you're creating the environment that she just left... it's because you represent something different.
You'll find that if you call her all the time and chase her, she'll be harder to get a hold of, and less likely to
continue to see you. If you let her go, let her live her life, and make yourself more scarce, you'll be more likely
to have her pursuing YOU. Be the man that she's always dreamed about, and then don't chase her.
7) EXPECT her
to change. If you're dating a woman between the ages of 18 and 23, you need to remember that her life is probably
going to change DRAMATICALLY over the next few years. You need to keep an open mind, and not try to restrict or
hinder her options. You need to expect and even encourage her to grow, change, and become all she can be. The
reality is that the chances are SLIM that she's going to be with you in a few years. In fact, the chances are slim
that she's even going to be the same person in a few years. Get over it, and be OK with it. Challenge her to grow,
achieve, and be her best... and don't accept second-class behavior from her. But she's going to change, so expect
it.
8) Be CHIVALROUS. Most younger women have had VERY FEW men in their lives who even know what the word
"Chivalry" means. If you're one of those men, then you need to LEARN what the word means. Opening doors, walking on
the outside of the curb, and pulling out chairs makes a BIG impression on younger women. When you combine a
masculine, powerful presence with chivalry, you will stand out and make yourself VERY intriguing and attractive.
9) Stay totally calm in the face of drama. Younger women often have a lot of drama happening around them, and they
often act dramatic. I could write an entire book about all the things that a young woman has going on around her
that are TOTALLY UNSTABLE... And the most influential one is the other people in her life. If she freaks out about
something, don't let it get to you. Stay cool and calm. Don't try to fix all her problems, and don't try to stand
in for her dad. She isn't looking for advice, so don't give it to her (unless she asks seriously, and in a
non-emotional tone). One of the things that makes you attractive as an older man is the stability that you bring. So
BRING IT.
10) Be conscious of how often you see her and speak with her. Younger women are less in-control of
their emotions... and can become attached more quickly and easily. The "trigger" for a woman "becoming attached" is
how often you see her and talk to her. If you want to trigger the "relationship" mechanism, spend a lot of time with
her. If you DON'T want to trigger those emotions, you need to limit the time you spend with her. As a rule of
thumb, don't see her more than once a week, and don't talk to her more than once or twice a week unless you want
her to start becoming very attached to you. And I don't care what you SAY... it's the AMOUNT OF TIME you spend
with her that makes this determination. Trust me.
UNDERSTAND ATTRACTION: As always, the
most IMPORTANT thing you must understand when dating younger women is how ATTRACTION WORKS. If you don't understand
ATTRACTION, then none of what I just taught you will make a damn bit of difference... In fact, if you don't
understand ATTRACTION, then most of the things I just taught you above will probably BACKFIRE on you. So what's the
best way to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you? In fact, what's the fastest, most efficient, most
complete, most EFFECTIVE way to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you available in the world? Do the
opposite of what you think you should do to win her over. If you put a young, beautiful woman in a guys house on his
couch, he doesn't know the FIRST THING about how to make her feel ATTRACTION for him. He'll do things to please
her, hoping that at some point she begins to get "into the mood"... and then somehow lets him know. It will NEVER
HAPPEN. But if that guy knows the secrets of how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION... and how to smoothly take things
to a physical level without triggering resistance and rejection... then he will be successful almost every
time.
AN IRONIC PROLOGUE: As I sat in Starbucks writing this newsletter on my
laptop, across from me is a couple sitting at a table talking. And guess what? He's obviously older. He's probably
in his early 30s. She looks and sounds like she's around 19 or 20 years old.
It's obvious that this is the
first time that they've met (they're wrapping up their conversation, and she just said "It was nice meeting you").
He wasn't saying much, and she was basically doing all the talking... and boy was she ever talking. About a million
miles a minute...
She was leading the entire conversation, and he was trying to be a "nice guy" and let her
lead things.
She was talking about what life was like before she moved away from her parents.
She was
saying "My parents were overbearing" and talking about what it was like to live at home. The guy was sitting there
nervously talking to her... and fidgeting. She was asking him questions like "What is your family like", and he was
trying to give her "good answers" like "My family is nice, and my parents are sweet" etc.
It was obvious that
she was trying to keep the conversation going, and he was trying his best not to "say anything stupid"... he was
trying to seem like a "nice guy". At one point when she asked him a question, he sat forward, turned his hands up in
the air in a "I'm just a regular guy, nothing special here" gesture, and answered about himself.
They just got
up and left. It was PAINFULLY CLEAR to me that this guy did NOT understand what to do in this situation. He probably
met her online in a chat or on a personals website. He was probably all excited about meeting her. He probably
offered to take her to dinner, and paid for an expensive meal... and maybe even a movie before winding up at
Starbucks. He probably has no idea whether or not she is interested in him, and he will probably go home tonight
wishing he would have kissed her... and wishing he would have "made a move". He didn't get it. DON'T BE
THAT GUY!
One thing to look for when you are unsure of a woman’s interest is
whether the woman is tightly clasping their hands together or crossing their feet at the ankles underneath their
chairs (almost putting their feet behind them). These are signs that they are feeling anxious and are trying to
maintain control over themselves. The hand clasping is a more certain signal (in my experience). The woman is
usually standing when she does this (because she cannot cross her ankles and be ladylike). So, if you move closer,
she may make nervous eye contact with you (if you are the reason why she is feeling that way). If you move farther
away she may relax a bit and try to check you out. If she doesn't change her posture after you change your
position, she is probably not thinking about you/attracted to you.
I should also have mentioned that you can
look at which direction their feet are pointing, and in which direction they are aiming their torsos. Tonight, a
woman who was very interested in me sat down and talked with another man for about five minutes. Nonetheless,
wherever I stood in the room, her feet managed to point toward me. She continually shifted her position so that I
remained in her eyesight. But she did not flip her hair, adjust her clothing, rub her legs, thrust her breasts out
at me, or smile at me, or send any of the classic "I am interested in you" signals (she is probably 30ish). She was
very cool, very subtle. I already knew beforehand she was interested in me but I was somewhat amused AND amazed to
see how she maintained that non-verbal connection with me while maintaining a full conversation with the other man
(and SHE was doing most of the talking). Women send signals men just never realize are there. I am sure the other
guy thought she was into him. She was just being polite and answering his questions.
SELLING
AND INFLUENCING
They’re possibly interested in buying if they are ...
maintaining eye contact, turning their body towards you, nod their head in agreement to what you have to
say.
INCREASING THE PROBABILITY OF A SALE
*
Stand up when greeting someone
* Study their formality and energy level and
match them with your own
* Put forth a strong and effective handshake
* Convey open and relaxed posture
* Allow your body language to match your words
* Move closer to your target
* Keep your hands in neutral
position, and never point
* Use leaning to your advantage:
- LEAN IN to display interest;
- LEAN BACK
when you’re making a point to be taken seriously; and
- MAINTAIN NEUTRAL POSTURE when discussing prices.
*
Allow brief silences
* Make a lasting impression - Stand up straight, give a firm handshake, and
maintain good eye contact when closing a deal.
-------------------------------------
I didn't write any of this, but I
collected bits and pieces as I ran into things here and there. Body Language is hard if ya ask me, but, I can see
where it can be useful!
Hope something in
here helps ya! :wave: