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MOBLEYC57
02-10-2005, 02:10 PM
Are you Alpha?

:blink: Does it really make one bit of difference? :think: Let's see what this fella has to say about

it.........

Dear Friend ,

As you know, women are attracted to men they can respect. Men worthy of

respect are often called an "alpha male." These men are considered to be socially superior, more desirable,

basically the ones who command the respect of men and women alike.

But, let's face it, some guys just

aren't natural leaders, dominate, or aggressive. In fact, because of their innate personality and disposition some

guys aren't EVER going to be able to fit that description of an "alpha male"... no matter what they try to

do.

What about them? Are they stuck living out their lives as "beta males" who are stepped on,

disrespected, and ignored by women?

No, not at all. In fact, these otherwise "beta males" can actually get

MORE respect than the typical "alpha male." I'll show you why later in this article.

But first, how is an

alpha male defined? Is an alpha male defined by a specific set of behaviors? Or is an alpha male defined

by
the benefits he receives (respect, admiration, attention, etc.)?

I would say that an alpha male

is defined by the benefits - the behaviors are just a means of achieving the benefits. And therein lies the key for

you...

There is more than one way to be the alpha male.

ALPHA APPROACH NUMBER 1

:

Typically people think of the alpha male as the built, popular guy that is always the center of

attention whenever there is a
gathering of people. When a guy disrespects him he is quick to get in his face

- the challenger usually backs down quickly, intimidated by his dominant mannerisms. This guy will be classified as

an alpha male by most peoples definition.

But, let me give you another, slightly different, picture of

what could be an alpha male - you decide if you agree...

ALPHA APPROACH NUMBER 2 :

He's rarely

the center of attention. He's not particularly good-looking or muscular. But, the funny thing is... when he has

something to say people listen. People listen because they respect him. They respect him because he radiates

strength and
positivism. The strength is a result of being so secure and confident with who he is. He's

genuine, real, and authentic.
People can't help but notice and admire that. He has clear boundaries. Guys

don't mess with him because he doesn't mess with them. Women notice that guys don't mess with him, they notice

that when he talks, though it's not often, people listen to what he has to say. Women admire this quiet power and

are drawn to it. No, he's not the type draw crowds with his extroverted antics, and he's not going to go around

challenging all the other guys in
"the pack," he's not that type... and he's perfectly fine with that.

He's not out for other peoples acceptance, he doesn't need
other people's approval because he is

confident with himself.

To me, the second guy is more of an alpha male than the first guy we talked about.

In fact, I think he is 10 TIMES the man that the other guy is. The aggressive behavior the other guy displays could

be considered insecure (which repels women). This type of behavior seems especially insecure in comparison to the

second guy.

You may not be the type to get up in the middle of a crowd and start telling jokes, you may

not be the type who is willing to
fight other guys to communicate your status, but that doesn't mean you

can't get all the respect you deserve.

I pity the guys that try to be an alpha male (using Alpha Approach

Number 1) when it goes against their nature. They end up
coming off as very fake - the respect they are

seeking eludes them... and always will as long as they aren't being themselves.

So, I suppose the

underlying message of this article is that you should always be genuine - our human ability to sense fakeness is

uncanny so don't think that you are fooling anyone by trying to be someone other than yourself.

If you

want to impress women, if you want the respect of women, if you want to attract women to you, then practice being

more like yourself and stop trying to be like something that you aren't.

Be happy and content with who

you are.

It sounds cheesy and trite but I hope that from this article you can see just how important that

message is to your success not only with women, but with making friends, and advancing in your

career.

People seek out others who are authentic as friends, lovers, and partners - they trust these

people more, they admire them, and
they like them.


Why be anything but yourself?

:blink:

Thoughts, ideas? Anyone? Anyone? :blink:

NOTE: This material is testable during your final

exam ... study it carefully.:run:

Holmes
02-10-2005, 03:34 PM
Pretty on target. Though I'd

argue that the "authentic you" could include all sorts of new attitudes, approaches, and sides of yourself that you

haven't yet been privy to. In other words, just because you might never've acted that way doesn't mean it's not

in you to do so naturally.

Good piece, though. Where did you find it?

And why the :( ?

MOBLEYC57
02-10-2005, 08:01 PM
Good piece,

though. Where did you find it?

And why the :( ?DatingClass, and the question mark + the confused face

was me digging for people such as yeeself thoughts on the subjecto matter, Signor Holmes. :thumbsup: :run:

DrSmellThis
02-10-2005, 10:26 PM
That fella said some good things, of course.

There is no

substitute for being real and actually getting along with people. You have to understand yourself

and other people in a general sense, and stay present (e.g., putting yourself in another's place,

looking to understand your own reactions, real wants; and feelings.)

If you have this you have most everything.

And if you don't you have very little indeed.

That is what people should be focusing on, as it's way

more powerful than all the "pickup technology," combined. We stress out about getting partners way too much.

Remember, "she" (or he) is a person just like you are.

If you don't do these things, you don't have a grip.

You gotta know what's going on.

It's OK to know "seduction strategies", but I recommend forgetting them

around times when you're interacting with people, and just be present (see above).

Women sense this, of

course, and love this quality in a man. But that appreciation is only a symptom of the real benefits -- which

include actual great relationships with potential partners. This sets the stage for romance and intimacy, by

giving you something -- an ideal thing -- to work with.

If you then feel chemistry with the person, which most

people are quite qualified to detect; the rest is easy. You don't even need the other's opinion. With

experience and self-honesty, you can tell by your own reactions to them whether there is chemistry. For

example, it will feel natural, and you will genuinely be fond of them and enjoy them as a person. You might even get

an erection. If you "have a grip" (Not on your erection, silly! :) Again, see above.) the chemistry you feel will

almost invariably be mutual. That's just the way chemistry is.

Notice that if you achieve these things

you will already have a lot of natural confidence: You will literally know what's going on, and know what

you are doing. You'll know many things she is experiencing. You'll know what you are feeling. Others can't shake

this knowledge. You will already know that there is chemistry. Nothing in any ambiguous way she acts will change

your opinion. (assuming you're not a psycho, of course.) When she looks into your eyes she will see that you

already know the "answer"; (to basic questions the moment --that is, life -- asked of you all, to put it poetically)

just because you really do. You don't have to act like you know. No need to worry.

On top of it you

will be meeting the other person's need for real human interaction with someone who cares enough to really be

there.

Fairly simple, isn't it? People have been hooking up with each other since God was young. I predict the

ladies might vouch for what I'm saying here.

Of course, you also have to have a little something going for you

in some way, and have some self respect. But the rest is cake decoration at best, and irrelevant at worst.

culturalblonde
02-13-2005, 01:41 PM
The two examples are poor

representations of a human alpha male. The examples seem to be more about social status. Of course, women seeking

stability would choose the alpha approach number two. On a sexual level, alpha approach number one would be

favored. The human alpha male is more complex than the animal behaviorist term for alpha male. The examples in the

article appear to infer that to be an alpha male one only needs respect. To me, a human alpha male tends to be an

overachiever and differs according to culture, class or societies.

MOBLEYC57
02-13-2005, 01:56 PM
The two

examples are poor representations of a human alpha male. The examples seem to be more about social status. Of

course, women seeking stability would choose the alpha approach number two. On a sexual level, alpha approach number

one would be favored. The human alpha male is more complex than the animal behaviorist term for alpha male. The

examples in the article appear to infer that to be an alpha male one only needs respect. To me, a human alpha male

tends to be an overachiever and differs according to culture, class or societies.Pretty much, CB, but like

everything else ... good man ... good woman ... real man .... moma's boy .... etc. etc. ... it depends on each

person's definition of the word ... this being ALPHA MALE. Someone told me I was Alpha ... I was offended. :blink:



But who am I to say what someone else thinks? I'm just a man try to enjoy the last part of me life, and will

do anything to make it mo better! :thumbsup:

culturalblonde
02-13-2005, 02:18 PM
Why would you be offended?

What is your definition of alpha male? I would prefer an alpha male as opposed to the omega or beta male.

bjf
02-13-2005, 02:28 PM
It's usually not that clear cut.

Almost never at least.

Holmes
02-13-2005, 02:37 PM
The two

examples are poor representations of a human alpha male. The examples seem to be more about social status. Of

course, women seeking stability would choose the alpha approach number two. On a sexual level, alpha approach number

one would be favored. The human alpha male is more complex than the animal behaviorist term for alpha male. The

examples in the article appear to infer that to be an alpha male one only needs respect. To me, a human alpha male

tends to be an overachiever and differs according to culture, class or societies.

Overachievement--in

any area--automatically affects one's social status.

To me, the article seems to imply that, in the cases

of Alphas both A and B, the respect factor is a byproduct of just "being unapologetically you." Is

that crucial trait not at the core of every "alpha male"'s being?

DrSmellThis
02-13-2005, 02:51 PM
I know that in high school

there was always a part of me that resented when the asshole football player, who beat everybody up on the weekends

and caused all the kids to fear him and try to win his favor to protect their asses, got all the beautiful women. He

cared about nobody but himself, was sadistic in his joy of harming others; and yet these "amazing" women, ones

typically thought of as among the hottest, "cared" for him. I was confused because I thought some of these women

were "nice" and didn't see how they couldn't go for me instead, a "nice, understanding, creative, and smart" guy

who listened to them, but was only second string on the basketball team (not due to any lack of talent, of course

:)). Honestly, a part of that resentment stays with you. The approval of women tends to make guys feel validated as

a person, and vice versa. Especially at that age.

Since then, of course, I discovered there are "other ways" to

have great intimate relations with women, besides being a dirtbag. :)

Perhaps that's where Mobes was

coming from? He doesn't want to be seen as that guy?

bjf
02-13-2005, 03:05 PM
Doc, you grew up in a football state.

Just move one state over and you'd be good.

I hear what you are saying, from a symbolic sense, and it

doesn't end in high school. Hell, serial killers get laid more than anyone.

Basically, approval from

women can't be tied with your validation as a person. Evolution has kinda messed up the process because all of

the "shortcuts" has led to what today is out of date and illogicial.

DrSmellThis
02-13-2005, 03:13 PM
I hear what you

are saying, from a symbolic sense, and it doesn't end in high school. Hell, serial killers get laid more than

anyone.

Basically, approval from women can't be tied with your validation as a person. Evolution has kinda

messed up the process because all of the "shortcuts" has led to what today is out of date and

illogicial.Would you care to expand on that, bjf?

MOBLEYC57
02-13-2005, 04:40 PM
I know that

in high school there was always a part of me that resented when the asshole football player, who beat everybody up

on the weekends and caused all the kids to fear him and try to win his favor to protect their asses, got all the

beautiful women. He cared about nobody but himself, was sadistic in his joy of harming others; and yet these

"amazing" women, ones typically thought of as among the hottest, "cared" for him. I was confused because I thought

some of these women were "nice" and didn't see how they couldn't go for me instead, a "nice, understanding,

creative, and smart" guy who listened to them, but was only second string on the basketball team (not due to any

lack of talent, of course :)). Honestly, a part of that resentment stays with you. The approval of women tends to

make guys feel validated as a person, and vice versa. Especially at that age.

Since then, of course, I

discovered there are "other ways" to have great intimate relations with women, besides being a dirtbag. :)



Perhaps that's where Mobes was coming from? He doesn't want to be seen as that guy?Thanks, Doc!

:thumbsup: That was my definition of an Alpha Male, CBlonde, until I started reading on the forum. This Forum has

lots of good info, if you can hang in there, annnnnnd lots of intelligent minds, which is always a good thing if I

understand what they're saying. :blink:

This Forum also confused me ... Body Language ... and it's all of

your faults!:whip: Speaking of which, I'm going to the Body Language section to point blame on my latest confusion

that happened a week ago.:run:

Thanks again, Doc, 'cause I was tongue tied thinking of how to respond to

CuturalB. :thumbsup:

culturalblonde
02-13-2005, 08:00 PM
Definition??? It was more

like an example of a bully. I view an alpha male as self-confident, a leader and/or intelligent. Anyone below the

rank would be lacking in self-esteem and would try to move up by means of aggression, as used in the football player

example.

MOBLEYC57
02-13-2005, 08:10 PM
Definition??? It was more like an example of a bully. I view an alpha male as self-confident,

a leader and/or intelligent. Anyone below the rank would be lacking in self-esteem and would try to move up by means

of aggression, as used in the football player example.
To me, that's what an Alpha Male was, until this

forum. Never looked at it through another lense. But yes, confident, leader, and/or intelligent could fall into that

mix, but ... a thug, a pimp, someone that demands to be in charge (the asshole type), a control freak, an abuser,

etc. etc. can all have those qualities, and that's where my definition was placed, and to me, that's not pretty.

That's why I was offended. They explained why they thought I was alpha, it cleared it up, and gave me a different

view on Alpha Male. I'm no longer offended. :thumbsup: