Female Bisexuality

[koolking1]

It's likely

debatable where this thread should be but I thought I'd put it here rather than in the open discussion since a few

people think this forum is getting a little boring. Are women "naturally" bisexual? I'm beginning to think so

based on all the encounters my girlfriend and I have had in the "swinger" lifestyle. We have met several women who

labeled themselves as straight but after a short time swinging seem to gravitate towards having an experience with

another woman - we've had 3 like that just recently, one of whom kept saying over and over, I'm not bi!!! It's

also been proven in one study of the swinging community by a woman Dr (sorry, don't have the link as it's a

pre-internet study that I just can't seem to find anywhere). She stated that something like 75% of all women in

the swinging lifestyle eventually have (and enjoy) a bisexual experience. Surprisingly (or not perhaps) few men in

the lifestyle who start out straight become bisexual. I could go on but will hope others have more to contribute -

I'll probably pipe up again on this thread.

[MOBLEYC57]

It's likely

debatable where this thread should be but I thought I'd put it here rather than in the open discussion since a few

people think this forum is getting a little boring. Are women "naturally" bisexual? I'm beginning to think so based

on all the encounters my girlfriend and I have had in the "swinger" lifestyle. We have met several women who labeled

themselves as straight but after a short time swinging seem to gravitate towards having an experience with another

woman - we've had 3 like that just recently, one of whom kept saying over and over, I'm not bi!!! It's also been

proven in one study of the swinging community by a woman Dr (sorry, don't have the link as it's a pre-internet

study that I just can't seem to find anywhere). She stated that something like 75% of all women in the swinging

lifestyle eventually have (and enjoy) a bisexual experience. Surprisingly (or not perhaps) few men in the lifestyle

who start out straight become bisexual. I could go on but will hope others have more to contribute - I'll probably

pipe up again on this thread.I once had a female friend, and every time someone she knew/a friend, would do

something, she wanted to do it ... travel, cheat, have fun, you name it. It's a known fact, in lots of books

you'll find, "I want a man who buy me gifts for no reason." I've heard that once ... I just responded "me too,"

and let it blow over. I've said all that to say, the mind is an unharnest thing, if YOU hung out in an all male gay

bar long enough, your mind will start filtering the idea ... some can contol it, and lots can not. If a woman that

doesn't give oral pleasure watch enough porno films, or read about it being the new thing ... there will be lots of

beginners smoking noodles. And you know this, man! :rofl:

Soap operas gives bad ideas along with that fix of

drama. Ever wonder how many have cheated because of'em? Lots, would be my bet ... your bet? If a woman's into that

kind of life, I'd bet she'd cross over sooner or later, and that's betting all of my pennies, too! :sick:

Naturaly Bi? Nope! Naturally persuaded? Yep! But isn't everybody in one area, or another? :blink:

That's

Mobley's thought on it, and I'm sticking wit it!:run:

As always, I reserve all rights to be wrong. :wave:

[belgareth]

I'm in a rather pecular

situation here and wouldn't talk about it except it directly relates to KK's post. Some of you'll remember me

bragging about some hits last Thanksgiving. One of the ladies was this nice brunette named Karen. She's an old

friend and former roomate of my girlfriend's.

About the end of the year she found herself in financial

difficulty and between her and Jess, they convinced me to let her rent a room for a very nominal fee to help her

out. She moved in around the middle of January.

Karen has never made it a secret that she is attracted to me and

it never seemed to bother Jess. One thing led to another and we usually all sleep together most nights. I would not

say that either of them is bisexual. They both dearly love men and are pretty creative demonstrating it. However,

both of them seem to take tremendous pleasure in helping me to please the other. Neither seems to feel that there is

anything out of the ordinary; that pleasure is just that, without guilt or injury. I'm having a little trouble

adjusting but will get used to it over time, I hope.

It leads me to wonder not if they are bisexual but if

anybody is truly straight. What if our sexual orientation is mostly societal programming? I've read many times that

the men who most hate gays do so because they feel the attraction for other males in themselves and it frightens

them. What if we didn't have that programming? If our sexuality was simply another way of sharing happiness without

all the painful social ramifications? Would more people be likely to discover pleasures with members of their own

gender?

[MOBLEYC57]

What if our

sexual orientation is mostly societal programming? I've read many times that the men who most hate gays do so

because they feel the attraction for other males in themselves and it frightens them. What if we didn't have that

programming? If our sexuality was simply another way of sharing happiness without all the painful social

ramifications? Would more people be likely to discover pleasures with members of their own gender?
That

programming thingy! Annnd, you could be right about most of what you've written. I, for one, associate with anyone

gay that wants to associate with me. No problem there, BUT, I sure hope God has it in his plans for me to remain as

I am ... there's something about the taste of nectar, that keeps me happy just the way that I am! :cheers:



More and more people are discovering, as you say, each and every day. I'm getting nervous from the thought of

losing my nectar's source! :twisted: Still, books, tapes, research ... the say MOST/PART/ or THAT PERCENT, but no

one really knows what and why each and every person that has, ventured down that road. Man + Man can't produce

babies, nor can Woman + Woman. Still, someone took it in that direction, yes? :blink:

As for your situation,

and from Mobley's lenses, I could never share someone I love ... fun, yes ... it was great in my younger days, but

now that those days are gone, I keep an eye on the toilet tissue when she uses it, in case it tries to hold on. I'm

not willing to share ... I ain't having it! I remember being on a submarine tender (U.S.S. PUDGET SOUND) ...

I got up one morning, came out onto the mess decks, and there was a friend of mine sitting at the table with red

eyes, and tears slowly running down his face. I walked over to ask what was wrong, and he pointed and said, "see

that bitch right there, she took my woman." I left immediately so that I didn't laugh in his face. There have been

a lot of my friends that has lost to the change. I know I could handle it if it happens to me, but I sure hope I

never have to! :sad: I make it perfectly clear ... If you're bi-curious, or what have you, I'm not the one. And

like I'd tell anyone, YOU'll know when enough is enough, and deal with it the best ya can. That's all any of us

can do.:run:

[belgareth]

Mobely,

I hate to get

maudlin on you or sidetrack the conversation but you brought it up so here goes. You have the wrong mindset. Many

years ago, as a single parent about to marry another single parent, I sat a frightened little girl on my lap after

she asked a similar question: Would I love her less because I now had another little girl to love too? The answer is

no. Love is not something that when shared is diminished, rather it multiplies. I loved her with everything I had

and was able to do the same for that other little girl. When my third daughter was born, I could and did love her

100% too. the fact that I got hurt later does not in any way diminish what we all had and still have.

Do I care

less for Jessica because of Karen? Not at all. I am enriched by having two fine and wonderful ladies who share their

love with me. You cannot possess somebody in a relationship, you can only share with them. The fact that we are

sharing between three of us instead of the conventinal two just makes it more powerful, not less.

[DrSmellThis]

People are all different and I

think it's just a matter of degrees in its various aspects. Sexuality is of many kinds, not just two. That's just

the way people are. People have different comfort zones about partner relationships as well. It's all good. I do

agree with Bel that it is good to meditate on the nature of love for everyone. But certain insecurities,

possivenesses and jealousies are human, even if human imperfections. I struggle with them myself. Honestly, I'd

like to be rid of them myself -- we'll see. I've made a good bit of progress. I'm seeing a woman right now that

challenges me that way. I won't go into details at this time, as I don't want to jinx anything that is still

undefined.

BTW Bel, congrats on your continued happiness!!

Also, thanks for your honest post, Mobes.



Interesting thread.

[Marlboro_man]

To get back on topic, I

have researched this very question in the past KK. The most interesting study I saw (read, heard, don't really

remeber which) was one that researchers showed both males and females nude pictures of men and women, as well as

couples (hetersexual) having sex. These participants were hooked up a machine (don't remember which kind) that

monitored brain activity in the specific part of the brain linked to sexual feelings. The results were that over

90% of the men were stimulated by the nude women pictures as well as the couples having sex while less than 10% of

the men also got stimulated by the nude male pictures. Now the interesting part is that over 90% of the women were

stimulated by the stimulated by the nude male and coulple pictures but over 80% were also stimulated by the nude

women. What does it all mean? Basically deep inside the subconscience mind that all people are stimulated by

women. I think this is why most women can tell if another women is good looking or not while most men truly cannot

tell shy of physical buile ie... muscles and weight.

[MOBLEYC57]

Mobely,

I

hate to get maudlin on you or sidetrack the conversation but you brought it up so here goes. You have the wrong

mindset. Many years ago, as a single parent about to marry another single parent, I sat a frightened little girl on

my lap after she asked a similar question: Would I love her less because I now had another little girl to love too?

The answer is no. Love is not something that when shared is diminished, rather it multiplies. I loved her with

everything I had and was able to do the same for that other little girl. When my third daughter was born, I could

and did love her 100% too. the fact that I got hurt later does not in any way diminish what we all had and still

have.

Do I care less for Jessica because of Karen? Not at all. I am enriched by having two fine and wonderful

ladies who share their love with me. You cannot possess somebody in a relationship, you can only share with them.

The fact that we are sharing between three of us instead of the conventinal two just makes it more powerful, not

less.
Thing is, I agree with everything you've said, Bel. BUT, there's a difference in the mind sets, of

two little girls, and two lovers.

Call me bullheaded, but I just can't grasp loving two people, using love's

pure definition. I may not be able to put into words exactly what I sometimes would like to say, so I'll ask this

question ... What if your lady had brought a man into the picture instead of the woman? That's what I mean by I

don't share. I never thought of it as possessing anyone, my mind set, pretty much is, if I don't cheat, I won't

be cheated on and accept it. That, to me, deals with respect, more than jealousy or being possessive. Love don't

hurt people, people hurt people. :wave:

Thanks Bel, Doc, and the rest of yous! :thumbsup:

Time to study

for this damn test! :frustrate You all see if you can behave until I get back. :wave:

Now back to the regular

scheduled program ... bi sexual, isn't everybody? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I got my fingers crossed for .... NOT!

[belgareth]

I'll ask this

question ... What if your lady had brought a man into the picture instead of the woman?

Now back to the

regular scheduled program ... bi sexual, isn't everybody? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I got my fingers crossed for ....

NOT!
Good question. I've asked that myself several times and don't have an honest answer.

You

mention associating with gays, same here. Their sexual orientation is not my business and I'm not interested. You

don't find men to be sexually interesting and neither do I. While it doesn't really prove MMM's point, it goes

along with it well enough. Maybe I am wrong but I like to think there is no black and white in sexuality. It is all

shades of grey. Some people have no attraction for their own gender, others have attraction to varying degrees.

Apparently, women have a wider range than men. I don't see it as good or bad, it just is.

[MOBLEYC57]

Some people

have no attraction for their own gender, others have attraction to varying degrees. Apparently, women have a wider

range than men. I don't see it as good or bad, it just is.
That right there!:whip: :thumbsup:

[Pancho1188]

Results from psychological

studies lead people to the conclusion that women are more likely to enjoy an experience with the same gender.

Possible reasons are the sensual and nurturing connection that women may have. In addition, most women will tell

you that the female body is a work of art...but how many men would say that about the male body? You could

attribute the latter statement due to social norms and social acceptance, but I think that only goes as far as to

make those people in koolking's example say, "I'm not bi!" because it may not be socially (or personally)

acceptable to see oneself as that.

Would more men do the same thing if it became socially acceptable? Probably

only the ones who would have otherwise hated themselves for having those feelings. Otherwise, there is something in

the nurturing, loving, sensual, passionate nature of women that make it more likely for one to respect and

appreciate similar qualities in others of the same gender.

To throw a wrench in the wheel, I could just say that

we all start as women until the ol' Y chromosome turns the directions for the vagina into a penis (yes, that piece

of skin on/under your scrotum that seems out of place is what is left of what should have been your vagina), so

maybe everyone just likes the original. ;)

Regarding the love comment from Mobley, I will start by saying that

any religious or spiritual beliefs are beyond my judgement and analysis. Psychologically speaking, however, it is

possible to love more than one person at the same time. The feelings of being head-over-heels in love with someone

are just chemicals in the brain being released when you see that person you are in love with. No one would debate

that you could love more than one person in your lifetime, so I do not believe it is a stretch to say that you could

love more than one person at the same time. I would agree with Mobley, however, in the fact that it would be too

difficult to truly and fully express and explore that love with more than one mate at a time as it is socially (and

probably personally) unacceptable to do so. How many guys with women on the side really have the time to develop

strong emotional bonds with both? Usually he's neglecting one while he's with the other. Usually women get with

other men because they're being neglected by their men, therefore losing their love for them. However, when

polygamy or polyandry is or was socially acceptable, I believe you could say that those people were truly in love

with more than one or all of their spouses at the same time.

[Silent_123]

I feel that with my

experience with women, they are generally not bisexual persay, but they are much more comfortable talking about

bisexuality, and are usually open to things like that.

[Gegogi]

"Call me bullheaded, but I

just can't grasp loving two people, using love's pure definition."

Everyone is different and free

to seek that which pleases them. I for one have no problem loving and carrying on a relationship with two women or

more. In fact I find that to be an ideal situation. And I don't mind sharing with the right person. Nevertheless, I

have never been very successful at it and usually ended up womanless! Not due to my own failings, but the women

involved eventually became uncomfortable with the situation. They just weren't into sharing, even if they thought

they could at first. Sheesh Bel, you have got it made!

Incidentally, I have know for years that women are

more prone to bisexually than men. My last two girlfriends openly omitted sexual attraction to women. One of them

even said my ex-wife turned her on.

Dang, this is a good thread!

[belgareth]

Sheesh Bel, you

have got it made!

!
In all honesty, it isn't as easy as I'd like it to sound. I'm a conservative

old buzzard in the first place and it bothers me at times. At other times I feel like I'm walking on eggshells to

avoid hurting feelings. The dymanics are enough to give Dr. Ruth, Froid and Skinner nightmares.

[DrSmellThis]

Trying to have a great

relationship with even one woman is enough to give Freud, Skinner, Dr. Ruth, and even Dr. Phil nightmares.

Sometimes you have to open up a can of Diana Ross on your ass:

My mama said
you can't hurry love
Ooo you just

have to wait
She said love don't come easy
Well it's a game of give and take
How long must I wait?
How much

more can I take?
Just trust in the good times
No matter how long it takes
You just wait

[Holmes]

:lol::lol:

[Gegogi]

Most North American mothers

socialize--brainwash--their sons to seek monogamous relationships. I think if left to his natural devices, most men

are polygamous. My grandfather--a traditional Korean gentleman--had 5 wives (polygamy was legal in Korea 60 years

ago). My father had a wife and a long term mistress at the same time (basically a 2nd family). I feel rather cheated

in this age of political correctness and enlightenment.

[culturalblonde]

Pancho how did you get so

smart? :) I enjoyed what you wrote.

[Pancho1188]

Most North

American mothers socialize--brainwash--their sons to seek monogamous relationships. I think if left to his natural

devices, most men are polygamous. My grandfather--a traditional Korean gentleman--had 5 wives (polygamy was legal in

Korea 60 years ago). My father had a wife and a long term mistress at the same time (basically a 2nd family). I feel

rather cheated in this age of political correctness and enlightenment.
What people can safely assume is

that men tend to seek multiple sexual partners to try to carry on the species, women tend to be selective to find

the best mates, and there are certain chemicals that assist in the process of emotional attachment to create, if not

monogomy, loyalty (as in willing to protect and support...not 'fidelity' per se) to another person and the

couple's offspring. The chemical that causes the "in love" feeling lasts long enough to protect the baby during

its most vulnerable stages, and the likelihood of loyalty (or monogomy) declines slightly after that as far as

biology is concerned. It's like a marathon: The first half of it is physical, the second half is mental. Biology

makes it easy on you for the early stages of a relationship, but it's all up to you after a certain point on

whether you can dedicate yourself to someone.

That all being said, I can't confirm or deny G's comment as

dedication to one person or multiple people is more mental than it is physiological and therefore too complicated

and varied to have a simple answer. As I mentioned, you're predisposed to want many people but also willing to

commit to that person in some way as a result of mating and having children. That's not always the case, but it's

a base. The rest is up to the individual.

I will present the other side of the case as I believe that although

I do find many women attractive and instinctively desire to mate with them, I would eventually like to find one

person who saw me as the greatest guy ever and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I see fulfillment in

that type of relationship. Therefore, I would be willing to give up all other options if I found one that I liked

the best. Besides, people spend their lives sexually gratifying themselves with their hands, so having lifetime

access to someone else should be a step up. ;)

Joking aside, I respect G's stance as he seems to be firm in his

beliefs but is completely honest with the people he is with as opposed to pretending to be monogomous and cheating

for the rest of his life. I respect that way of living even though my personal goals are different. As long as you

respect the other person's feelings and are honest about it, I think it's fine.

[Gegogi]

"I would eventually like

to find one person who saw me as the greatest guy ever and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I see

fulfillment in that type of relationship."

Tried that and been there! Actually I was once a

monogomous idealist and was married for nearly 20 years. Hell, the first decade was a blast. But things change and,

well, I've decided to go with what I feel is right rather than embrace society's ideals. Only a vestige of my

idealist heart remains. What I'd like now are several attractive, loyal and intelligent (!) bisexual concubines.

I'd really enjoy watching them make love to one another before satisfying my amorous desires.

[frenchie]

It's likely debatable where this thread should be but I thought I'd put it here rather than in

the open discussion since a few people think this forum is getting a little boring. Are women "naturally"

bisexual?

That's an interesting topic !!
I'm not sure that "sexual identity" is clearly defined

at all stages of our life. I know quite a lot of men & women who were raised to act as good heteros, were married,

had children, and one day changed their sexual orientation. Of course it was a shock to their family but there was

nothing to do against that.
The second point is : you guys seem to always dream about having 2 women... :-) and

here is the difference : gays and lesbians don't really appreciate bi people, as we never know who will be the next

(boy or girl)friend, and of course we cannot bring them the same kind of pleasure. I personally would hate it if my

loved one told me she would go with a guy...

Frenchie

[koolking1]

While gays and lesbians

seem to appreciate it when straights are tolerant and understanding towards them, they themselves often show little

tolerance for bisexual people.

But, on the other hand, many bisexual women would steer clear of a lesbian.



Everyone has their favorite fantasy and, yes, being with two women is a fairly common one for men. Other

male fantasies often involve domination of women. I have occasionally recommended to female friends that when

considering choosing a man, that it be a man with the 2 woman fantasy over the man with a domination fantasy. One

group seems to really love women while the other tends to resent them. A simplification for sure but overall a good

approach to men's fantasies is my feeling.

So, Frenchie, the men's fantasy of being with two women is not

a good fantasy? Why?