kappakai
12-21-2004, 01:48 PM
that's a limiting belief that you need to get rid of. it's only a big deal if you make it a big
deal. granted i never lived in the south so i don't know how it is for asians in the south. from experience i find
women don't care what race you are but men do care. the cocky and funny mindset crosses all color lines to attract
women. my mindset is....i never feel disadvantage when it comes to women because given the chance i can make any
woman attracted to me. mones and a good game leaves any competiton you have in the dust. by the way i'm asian too
if you didn't realize.
ok, yes, i did figure out you were asian. i agree with you on the most
part, but i'm talking about relative terms. it'd be too easy to just gloss over racial discrepancies in different
parts of the country and to not acknowledge they exist. but, these things are entrenched. like i had said in the
other thread, i had never been called a chinaman OR a chink outside of friends and family except here in the south.
and i had never heard anyone complain about going to walmart because there are too many "ni**ers" there until i came
here. and this is from a friend who has complained to me numerous times that people are too closed minded here. it
might not be a huge disadvantage, but it does exist, either within my mind, shaped by experiences, or within other
people's minds, shaped by history and culture.
but, it IS interesting to note... i get more hits from white
women here than i do when i was living in california. but, they're stupid, ignorant lines, such as "let's go make
some purty chinky eyed babies. they'll be naturally tanned." maybe it's the novelty of it all or something
sociologically deeper than that. california is actually very segregated, despite all the liberal talk. you have
koreatown, japan town, little saigon, monterey park, inglewood, west LA, each their own little bastions of racial
purity.
unfortunately, it IS a big deal for me. it's only been 50 years since the civil rights movement,
and i think racial harmony has a long way to go in the united states. i've lived in singapore, where the population
is like 60% chinese, 30% malay, 10% indian, and a sprinkling of others. but there are fewer racial issues. it may be
attributed to the tight controls the government has there, but it may also be due to the fact that everyone there is
"singaporean" and not chinese-singaporean, or malay-singaporean, etc. it may be created, but there is a national
identity that everyone ascribes to- singaporean. people may speak tamil or hakka at home, but on the streets it's
"singlish," an amalgamation of mostly english, chinese with some malay thrown in. in proper channels, it's english.
to me, singapore is a true melting pot, whereas the US is akin to a house salad calling itself fondue.
that
said, i agree with you that cocky and funny works across racial lines. but what about the other side? if i talk to a
white, black or whatever woman, and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is a compliment on how good my
english is, it gets discouraging. it makes me think that this person i am talking to has lived in the country her
whole life, and knows nothing more of asians than fu manchu and her local chinese buffet. it's a detractment,
though not necessarily a barrier. i know there's something deeper than just a racially ignorant person. depending
on my mood, i can make a negative a positive. or i can blow her off and look for something a little easier and on my
level. this is true in the south. not as true out west, or north of the mason dixon. most of the time, i don't
think it is malicious at all, but just an indicator of limited experience. i can't fault them for being that way,
but at the same time, it's still a reality. when the color of your skin is a constant topic of conversation, you
start thinking that society hasn't moved anywhere since 1965, and it's high time it did.
in no way is this
a dig at the south and the people here. i've lived in china as well, and believe me, they'll pick an ABC out
faster than they can pick a booger for a goldfish. people in the south, generally speaking, are warm, friendly,
hospitable, and if you like that look, britney-spears-essque. but, while pheromones can lower barriers, they can't
change mindsets, and that's what i'm getting at.
race is a touchy subject, i know, and this might not be
the right place for it. this is not a catagorical statement about southerners, i've met plenty of idiots
everywhere. my apologies if i offend anyone, but take it as social commentary and not a prescription.
deal. granted i never lived in the south so i don't know how it is for asians in the south. from experience i find
women don't care what race you are but men do care. the cocky and funny mindset crosses all color lines to attract
women. my mindset is....i never feel disadvantage when it comes to women because given the chance i can make any
woman attracted to me. mones and a good game leaves any competiton you have in the dust. by the way i'm asian too
if you didn't realize.
ok, yes, i did figure out you were asian. i agree with you on the most
part, but i'm talking about relative terms. it'd be too easy to just gloss over racial discrepancies in different
parts of the country and to not acknowledge they exist. but, these things are entrenched. like i had said in the
other thread, i had never been called a chinaman OR a chink outside of friends and family except here in the south.
and i had never heard anyone complain about going to walmart because there are too many "ni**ers" there until i came
here. and this is from a friend who has complained to me numerous times that people are too closed minded here. it
might not be a huge disadvantage, but it does exist, either within my mind, shaped by experiences, or within other
people's minds, shaped by history and culture.
but, it IS interesting to note... i get more hits from white
women here than i do when i was living in california. but, they're stupid, ignorant lines, such as "let's go make
some purty chinky eyed babies. they'll be naturally tanned." maybe it's the novelty of it all or something
sociologically deeper than that. california is actually very segregated, despite all the liberal talk. you have
koreatown, japan town, little saigon, monterey park, inglewood, west LA, each their own little bastions of racial
purity.
unfortunately, it IS a big deal for me. it's only been 50 years since the civil rights movement,
and i think racial harmony has a long way to go in the united states. i've lived in singapore, where the population
is like 60% chinese, 30% malay, 10% indian, and a sprinkling of others. but there are fewer racial issues. it may be
attributed to the tight controls the government has there, but it may also be due to the fact that everyone there is
"singaporean" and not chinese-singaporean, or malay-singaporean, etc. it may be created, but there is a national
identity that everyone ascribes to- singaporean. people may speak tamil or hakka at home, but on the streets it's
"singlish," an amalgamation of mostly english, chinese with some malay thrown in. in proper channels, it's english.
to me, singapore is a true melting pot, whereas the US is akin to a house salad calling itself fondue.
that
said, i agree with you that cocky and funny works across racial lines. but what about the other side? if i talk to a
white, black or whatever woman, and the first thing that comes out of their mouth is a compliment on how good my
english is, it gets discouraging. it makes me think that this person i am talking to has lived in the country her
whole life, and knows nothing more of asians than fu manchu and her local chinese buffet. it's a detractment,
though not necessarily a barrier. i know there's something deeper than just a racially ignorant person. depending
on my mood, i can make a negative a positive. or i can blow her off and look for something a little easier and on my
level. this is true in the south. not as true out west, or north of the mason dixon. most of the time, i don't
think it is malicious at all, but just an indicator of limited experience. i can't fault them for being that way,
but at the same time, it's still a reality. when the color of your skin is a constant topic of conversation, you
start thinking that society hasn't moved anywhere since 1965, and it's high time it did.
in no way is this
a dig at the south and the people here. i've lived in china as well, and believe me, they'll pick an ABC out
faster than they can pick a booger for a goldfish. people in the south, generally speaking, are warm, friendly,
hospitable, and if you like that look, britney-spears-essque. but, while pheromones can lower barriers, they can't
change mindsets, and that's what i'm getting at.
race is a touchy subject, i know, and this might not be
the right place for it. this is not a catagorical statement about southerners, i've met plenty of idiots
everywhere. my apologies if i offend anyone, but take it as social commentary and not a prescription.