MOBLEYC57
12-18-2004, 03:47 PM
KIDS (Classic):thumbsup:
For his birthday,
little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this
house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father
saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase.
So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling
out. “
Then I heard her screaming at you to wait because she was coming too.
And I'll be damned if I'm
staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no
bike!"
LITTLE JOHNNY:whip:
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents
did for a living. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer. When it was
Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore!"
Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off
to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned. So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal
what you said in class?"
Johnny said, "Yes."
"Well, what did the principal say?"
"He said that every job
is important in our economy, gave me an apple, and asked for my phone
number!"
SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR? :think:
A Norwegian was on a job interview.
Here's your first question," the foreman said, "without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without
numbers?" The Norwegian says, "Dat is easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Norwegian.
"Fair enough," says the boss,
"here is your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Norwegian stares into
space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is
dirty now! So it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99"
The boss is getting worried he's
going to have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the
number 100."
The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little
mark at the base of each tree, and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be
nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of
each tree, and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty
tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred ... So when I
start?"
For his birthday,
little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this
house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father
saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase.
So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling
out. “
Then I heard her screaming at you to wait because she was coming too.
And I'll be damned if I'm
staying here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no
bike!"
LITTLE JOHNNY:whip:
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents
did for a living. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer. When it was
Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore!"
Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off
to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned. So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal
what you said in class?"
Johnny said, "Yes."
"Well, what did the principal say?"
"He said that every job
is important in our economy, gave me an apple, and asked for my phone
number!"
SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR? :think:
A Norwegian was on a job interview.
Here's your first question," the foreman said, "without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without
numbers?" The Norwegian says, "Dat is easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Norwegian.
"Fair enough," says the boss,
"here is your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Norwegian stares into
space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is
dirty now! So it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99"
The boss is getting worried he's
going to have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the
number 100."
The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little
mark at the base of each tree, and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be
nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of
each tree, and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty
tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred ... So when I
start?"