MOBLEYC57
12-12-2004, 12:30 PM
WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE? :blink:
Steve and Rob meet in
the parking lot as they arrive for work. Steve says, "Jesus Rob, that's a hell of a smile you're wearing today.
What's the score?"
Rob replies "Well, I went down to the bar last night for a bit of fun and found myself a
wonderful young lady with a rather unusual specialty."
"Tell me more" says Steve.
"First she takes me back
to her place, where she whips my cock out of my pants and wedges it into a hot-dog bun. Then she packs a couple of
slices of meat around it, adds a bit of cheese, cucumber and pickles, and tops it off with a squirt of mustard. Then
she grabs it with both hands and slowly eats her way down from tip to balls. It was fantastic."
"Jeez Rob, that
sounds great - I hope you kept her phone number?"
"Sure did, Buddy - here it is."
Steve spends all day at
work looking forward to the evening's fun; at five o'clock he's out the door like a ferret up a drainpipe.
Next morning, Rob and Steve meet in the parking lot again, but Steve has a face like a wet weekend. Rob asks
"What's up, couldn't you find her?"
"I found her, all right. She took me back to her place like you said, but
tried something different. She grabs my prick and puts it between two wafer biscuits, then covers it in Neapolitan
ice cream, some fruit salad, squirts whipped cream all over it, adds strawberry and chocolate sauce, then tops it
all off with a cherry."
"Holy SHIT!" says Rob "That sounds even better than I got - so why the long face?"
"Well," replies Steve "It looked so damn good I ate it myself."
WHO’S WATCHING THE KIDS? :drunk:
A man is walking home
late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. It's a hooker. He'd never been with a hooker before.
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks. They're going at it for a
minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?"
asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
Oh, I'm sorry," says the
cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her
face!"
LITTLE JOHNNY … DAMNED IF YOU DO, AND DAMNED IF YOU DON’T
:frustrate
Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a
black eye.
His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the
other boys?"
"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my
teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she
hit me!"
"Johnny," the father said, "You don't do those kind of things to women."
Sure enough, the very
next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a
talk!"
"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood
up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw
it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back
in!"
KIDS! :box:
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches
every day!
This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich
wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."
"Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said
"Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her
skirt. He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his
chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating
chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"
She asked if she could look, so he pulled
down his pants for her.
She said "Oh, my God!!! It's too late for you! You've already got the neck and the
gizzards."
THE OLD CAMEL JOKE (CLASSIC)!
:wave:
The recruit had just arrived in the desert. He
asked his corporal what the men did for recreation.
The corporal smiled wisely and said, "You'll see."
The young man was puzzled. "Well, you've got more than a hundred men on this base and I don't see a single
woman."
"You'll see," the corporal repeated.
That afternoon, three hundred camels were herded in the
corral. At a signal, the men leaped into the corral and began to screw the camels.
The recruit saw the corporal
hurrying past him. "I see what you mean, but I don't understand," he said. There must be three hundred of those
camels and only about a hundred of us. Why is everybody rushing?"
"What?" exclaimed the corporal, "and get
stuck with an ugly one!!!?" :blink:
Steve and Rob meet in
the parking lot as they arrive for work. Steve says, "Jesus Rob, that's a hell of a smile you're wearing today.
What's the score?"
Rob replies "Well, I went down to the bar last night for a bit of fun and found myself a
wonderful young lady with a rather unusual specialty."
"Tell me more" says Steve.
"First she takes me back
to her place, where she whips my cock out of my pants and wedges it into a hot-dog bun. Then she packs a couple of
slices of meat around it, adds a bit of cheese, cucumber and pickles, and tops it off with a squirt of mustard. Then
she grabs it with both hands and slowly eats her way down from tip to balls. It was fantastic."
"Jeez Rob, that
sounds great - I hope you kept her phone number?"
"Sure did, Buddy - here it is."
Steve spends all day at
work looking forward to the evening's fun; at five o'clock he's out the door like a ferret up a drainpipe.
Next morning, Rob and Steve meet in the parking lot again, but Steve has a face like a wet weekend. Rob asks
"What's up, couldn't you find her?"
"I found her, all right. She took me back to her place like you said, but
tried something different. She grabs my prick and puts it between two wafer biscuits, then covers it in Neapolitan
ice cream, some fruit salad, squirts whipped cream all over it, adds strawberry and chocolate sauce, then tops it
all off with a cherry."
"Holy SHIT!" says Rob "That sounds even better than I got - so why the long face?"
"Well," replies Steve "It looked so damn good I ate it myself."
WHO’S WATCHING THE KIDS? :drunk:
A man is walking home
late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. It's a hooker. He'd never been with a hooker before.
"Twenty bucks," she says.
He decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks. They're going at it for a
minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?"
asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly.
Oh, I'm sorry," says the
cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her
face!"
LITTLE JOHNNY … DAMNED IF YOU DO, AND DAMNED IF YOU DON’T
:frustrate
Little Johnny comes home from catholic school with a
black eye.
His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the
other boys?"
"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my
teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she
hit me!"
"Johnny," the father said, "You don't do those kind of things to women."
Sure enough, the very
next day Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue.
Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a
talk!"
"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood
up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw
it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back
in!"
KIDS! :box:
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches
every day!
This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich
wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."
"Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said
"Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said. "Okay" and she pulled up her
skirt. He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his
chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating
chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"
She asked if she could look, so he pulled
down his pants for her.
She said "Oh, my God!!! It's too late for you! You've already got the neck and the
gizzards."
THE OLD CAMEL JOKE (CLASSIC)!
:wave:
The recruit had just arrived in the desert. He
asked his corporal what the men did for recreation.
The corporal smiled wisely and said, "You'll see."
The young man was puzzled. "Well, you've got more than a hundred men on this base and I don't see a single
woman."
"You'll see," the corporal repeated.
That afternoon, three hundred camels were herded in the
corral. At a signal, the men leaped into the corral and began to screw the camels.
The recruit saw the corporal
hurrying past him. "I see what you mean, but I don't understand," he said. There must be three hundred of those
camels and only about a hundred of us. Why is everybody rushing?"
"What?" exclaimed the corporal, "and get
stuck with an ugly one!!!?" :blink: