View Full Version : What women really mean...
phersurf
11-23-2004, 12:20 PM
When they
say they want a man that treats them right, that is sensetive, a good comunicator, nice, etc.
Women have this
image of a man in their brain that is several million years old. It is based on a biological need to find a man that
will produce healthy offspring, And these offspring will also be able to find a mate and produce healthy offspring.
This image is visually a tall, strong man with a square jaw, clear eyes and skin. But he should also be the
klind of man that stands his ground, doesn't take shit from anyone (including women), has control over his
emotions, has his own life, does not apppear needy, has good hygeine, has options and the ability to be with almost
any woman (but choosers her). These non visual attributes tend to be more important to women than the purely visual
ones (at least for something long term).
Once these above attributes are met, then the woman wants a man that
is sensitive, a good comunicator, etc. When a woman says this, she is picturing Jude Law or Colin Farrell (or a guy
she is already attracted to but is intimidated by) in her head and hoping they will treat her that way.
If
you are a sensitive guy, good comunicator, nice guy, but don't have these other attributes you get put in the "lets
just be friends" compartment of the woman's brain.
Surreal
11-23-2004, 12:34 PM
yeah, lifes a bitch.
There are MANY more facters. Today I ran into a girl I went to school with over 8 years ago. During school I liked
her. When I ran into her I still liked her, but in a different way. Then I noticed why I liked her. Her genetic
makeup is simular to mine. Not by much maybe 33% or so. If we would to have more contact with each other I might
find we have a chemical attraction. I have noticed a pattern in the girls I like. Most fall into several distinct
genetic catagories. Thats me though : )
-surreal
CptKipling
11-23-2004, 12:39 PM
yeah, lifes a
bitch.
Her genetic makeup is simular to mine. Not by much maybe 33%
Less than a rat? Life must be a bitch
:D
;)
What they say they want and what they
desire are two different things.
DCW
yeah, lifes a
bitch.
Her genetic makeup is simular to mine. Not by much maybe 33% or so.
-surreal
Hillbilly love!!! :wub:
DCW
Surreal
11-23-2004, 01:05 PM
Less than a
rat? Life must be a bitch :D
;)
I don't get it. :think:
Was it the 33% thing?
I am half
Italian and half mix. (mostly Irish) The girl I spoke of is half Irish. So I figure we have 33% racial simularities.
I think I just chosen my terms poorly. : )
I bet you are just yanking my chain. :POKE:
chococat
11-23-2004, 01:17 PM
When they say
they want a man that treats them right, that is sensetive, a good comunicator, nice, etc.
Women have this image
of a man in their brain that is several million years old. It is based on a biological need to find a man that will
produce healthy offspring, And these offspring will also be able to find a mate and produce healthy offspring.
This image is visually a tall, strong man with a square jaw, clear eyes and skin. But he should also be the klind of
man that stands his ground, doesn't take shit from anyone (including women), has control over his emotions, has his
own life, does not apppear needy, has good hygeine, has options and the ability to be with almost any woman (but
choosers her). These non visual attributes tend to be more important to women than the purely visual ones (at least
for something long term).
Once these above attributes are met, then the woman wants a man that is sensitive, a
good comunicator, etc. When a woman says this, she is picturing Jude Law or Colin Farrell (or a guy she is already
attracted to but is intimidated by) in her head and hoping they will treat her that way.
If you are a
sensitive guy, good comunicator, nice guy, but don't have these other attributes you get put in the "lets just be
friends" compartment of the woman's brain.
They want to know that you are a nice, sensitive, good
communicator on your own and not just to get her in bed. They want to know that you are independent, but
appreciative. You don't have to be a stud in every sense if you can hold your own.
TRock
11-23-2004, 01:17 PM
great post Phersurf. yeah i found
out that what a woman wants in a man, she already assumes attraction in the 1st place then you can be sensitive,
nice, etc.
I don't get it.
:think:
Was it the 33% thing?
I am half Italian and half mix. (mostly Irish) The girl I spoke of is
half Irish. So I figure we have 33% racial simularities. I think I just chosen my terms poorly. : )
I bet
you are just yanking my chain. :POKE:
I'm a wise guy don't mind me. :thumbsup:
DCW
Watcher
11-23-2004, 01:57 PM
Lol yeah i find i tend to be
attracted to certain types of female
brown hair, about my height, certain facial features.]
At the
same time being white i am attracted to asian and african american women so there you go.
phersurf
11-23-2004, 02:32 PM
yeah, lifes a
bitch.
There are MANY more facters. Today I ran into a girl I went to school with over 8 years ago.
During school I liked her. When I ran into her I still liked her, but in a different way. Then I noticed why I liked
her. Her genetic makeup is simular to mine. Not by much maybe 33% or so. If we would to have more contact with each
other I might find we have a chemical attraction. I have noticed a pattern in the girls I like. Most fall into
several distinct genetic catagories. Thats me though : )
-surreal
I didn't bring this up to
point out that it's unfair in any way (if that's what you were implying by your "lifes a bitch" statement).
I'm just saying that no matter what society, religion, our parents, or whatever says about what we should
be attracted to in the opposite sex or how we should behave to attract the opposit sex, we are biological creatures
first and foremost. There are millions of years of evolution (and only 6000 years of civilization!) behind our
mating decisions.
Just like women have this image of men they are attracted to, men also have an image of
women they are attracted to. Only men are much more simple creatures than women. Our image is almost entirely based
on physical attractivness. I'm sure that this girl you're attracted to is physically attractive. There are
millions of women that have similar genetic makeup as you, but you like this one.
Men choose mates like
sperm, women choose mates like eggs. Men can mate with thousands of women and have hundereds of children and we
don't have to be around to raise them for them to survive. Women can only have a maximum of about 20 offspring (the
record is 69 but that includes several sets of twins) and they have to be present for a good part of the children's
life to ensure survival. Who do you think is going to be more picky (and use more than just physical attractivness
as a decision to who they mate with)?
Gegogi
11-23-2004, 03:03 PM
Lots people in Asia still have
arranged marriages and live happy lives. Folks meet in chatrooms and fall in love and know squat about each other.
Some women fall in love with convict penpals on death row and get married. Lots women want to jump my bones after
they see me play guitar. otherwise they're not nearly as interested. So ideals are one thing. Reality is another.
phersurf
11-23-2004, 03:37 PM
Arranged marriages asside. When
people meet and fall in love in chatrooms, it's because the guy is saying things that are appealling to the woman
at these other, more ancient levels of communication. And the guy is still probably attracted to her at a physical
level, he's probably seen her picture. I'm sure there are not that many 6'2" guys that look like models falling
for 5' 160 lb women in chatrooms, no matter how cool she is. And unless he is able to come across as a coll, funny
guy with confidence, she won't fall for him.
Women falling in love with convicts proves my point. IF the guy
is able to talk to the part of the woman's brain where attraction is created, it doesn't matter. There is a famous
story that happened in Califoria about 10 years ago where a respected DA helped a man she convicted escape from
jail. When asked why, she said no man ever made her feel the way he did, and there was nothing physical between them
at the time. He was a notorious womanizer.
As far as women wanting to jump your bones when they see you play
giutar, that also proves my point. The artistic male is one iof the architypes that also communicate with this part
of the woman's brain that creates attraction.
I truely believe that you should date
a least a year and a half before ever considering marriage. Too many people meet then jump into bed and decide to
get hitched while feeling some sexual euphoria only to discover later that they have nothing in
common.
DCW
Knuuttipukki
11-23-2004, 03:59 PM
"good things come to those
who wait", eh?
CptKipling
11-23-2004, 03:59 PM
I don't get it.
:think:
Was it the 33% thing?
I am half Italian and half mix. (mostly Irish) The girl I spoke of is half
Irish. So I figure we have 33% racial simularities. I think I just chosen my terms poorly. : )
I bet you are
just yanking my chain. :POKE:
Chimps are have a genetic makeup 98% the same as yours, for rats it's
somewhere in the 70-80% range. I know you were talking within the human species really though...
So yeah, I was
just kidding ;)
tim929
11-23-2004, 08:53 PM
As I have heard it said befor by
a very famous(and controversial) radio personality..."Men get the woman they can afford." Women tend to be attracted
to men who have thier act together and are able to provide.I once saw a program on discovery chanel(where would I be
without Discovery chanel?) regarding women and what they are realy attracted to.The short of it is that women tend
to be sexualy attracted to tall,dark handsom men who hint at danger and adventure.As for choosing a mate
however,women tend to be somewhat more conservative in the man they choose.Typicaly selecting a man who is stable
and inteligent enough to provide for her and the offspring.That would explain why the AMA indicates that about
twenty percent of the children born to married couples in U.S. hospitals was fathered by someone other than the
husband.And I have enough friends that have children in thier broods that failed the paternity test to think that
number is probably about right.As for what a woman realy wants...realy,it's anybodys guess.But alot of money and
great looks don't hurt your odds of getting a date.
PHP 87
11-23-2004, 09:38 PM
Good looks help, but one has to
create "passion"
Usually, "playing it safe" won't do the trick unless there is a powerful physical
attraction.
This is why "nice guys" strike out, while "bad boys" create that "passion" with their actions and
their attitudes.
Also, many "nice guys" are that way because of self-esteem issues
They are all too eager
to please and are usually "doormats"
Qualities, if you want to call them that, that are repulsive to most
women.
Holmes
11-23-2004, 10:21 PM
The girl I spoke of
is half Irish.
What's the other half?
chococat
11-23-2004, 10:41 PM
As a woman, I would say the
biggest turnon is intelligence and passion for whatever it is that you do in life (or passion in your hobbies.) I
think my attraction to these things can trump many disadvantages that a male could have... I guess this is due to
something innate that tells me you might be a good long term mate. ;)
Surreal
11-23-2004, 11:09 PM
This is one of those "how many
licks does it take to get the center of a Tootsie pop?", type questions. "the worlded may never know".
Some lick
10000 times get to the center and are happy and some are unhappy. Some lick 3 times get bored and bite right to the
center.
jokingly, I think we have a better chance of discovering cold fusion than finding a set criteria for a
womens mating patterns.
There are a plethora of stable reasons in any persons mate selection procedures. Pre
20000 years ago it was ever so simple. Just like what the rest of you guys said. Offsping, support, manlyness, ect.
In our time the various societies contribute extremly heavly to the mate selection procedure.
Of course I am
only 22 what do i know : )
-S
Surreal
11-23-2004, 11:10 PM
What's the other
half?
??? is cuteness a good answer ???
tim929
11-23-2004, 11:31 PM
Surreal...just because your
twenty two doesnt mean you have nothing to contribute.The only thing older folks have on youngsters is
wisdom.Inteligence falls of sharply after the age of eight in most men,but with wisdom...we can hide it realy well
by using big words.
Indigo
11-24-2004, 01:45 AM
Surreal...just
because your twenty two doesnt mean you have nothing to contribute.The only thing older folks have on youngsters is
wisdom.Inteligence falls of sharply after the age of eight in most men,but with wisdom...we can hide it realy well
by using big words.
:D :D :D Great way to put it !!!
Silver
11-24-2004, 03:40 AM
Lol, I've already given you guys
a fairly good idea of what I look for in a man. To summarize: intelligence, wit, passion, independence, THEIR OWN
LIFE, respects me and MY OWN LIFE, and of course, physical attractiveness. If you want the whole story, along with
the difference between protective and overprotective, etc., you can read it under "PCC update", I'm far too lazy to
type it up again.
That having been said, let me address some of the more specific points that have been brought
up in this post with respect to how I think they apply to women in general.
The biological imperative is key,
guys, but it's not only about physical attractiveness. In looking for a mate, women want healthy babies, but we
also want men that will stick around and help us raise said babies without driving us insane...the baby will be
doing more than it's fair share of that. Sanity is key to survival and reproduction, and I do think that our
biology cues us to seek it.
There is no shame in demanding physical attractiveness. Even if the guy is the
nicest, smartest, funniest person on the planet, if there is not even the slightest spark of physical chemistry,
then a romantic relationship is not possible. How would it be better in any way for a woman to have a romantic
relationship with this guy? What does she want from him that can't be gotten if they were simply the best of
friends.
That having been said, Chococat is right. You don't have to be a stud. In fact, you don't even have
to be what most people consider attractive. 90% of the female population can think you look like the mold growing
in the back of a frat guy's refrigerator, but as long as this specific female finds you slightly physically
attractive, you've definitely got a chance. You just have to make up for it in sheer AWESOMENESS.
Beyond this
necessary spark, each woman is different. You can think of looks and personality as rubies and sapphires. Some
women love rubies more, some love sapphires. Some don't care, as long as they have 50 carats total in the end.
But all women need at least a little bit of each (muahahaha shiiiiinny).
Hope this helps:)
~Silver
Surreal
11-24-2004, 03:50 AM
^^^ good post.....
A little
while back I would dress harsh, punkish, gothic, and just plain more rugged. I would attract a certian kind of girl.
When they got to know me they relised I was not who the person on my cover was. ("don't judge a book by its
cover") I displayed a rough gritty personality. But I am more sophistcated, intellectual, amibitous, and worldly.
Simply those girls just wanted a raw person. (most of them smoked, i dont) I am just not that. But when it comes to
attracting a girl of simular characteristics to myslef they have difficulties breaking past my cover and looking at
me for me. CEE, darn you!
Watcher
11-24-2004, 01:44 PM
Good post silver
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