MOBLEYC57
11-17-2004, 08:50 PM
KINDER
GARTEN COP NEEDED!:whip:
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their
teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said "I bet I know what it
is —— it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the
candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said "I bet I know what it is
—— it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next
gift was from the liquor store-owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She let a drop fall
onto her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered. The teacher held the box up
over her face and let a couple of drops fall onto her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
""No," the boy answered.
""Then what is it?" asked the
teacher.
The little boy looking at her with a yucky look on his face and said, "A puppy!"
TAXI!! :rant:
The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive
the trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as
one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver.
She looked ahead and saw a truck
double-parked on the narrow street, but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as
he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side.
"Driver!" the passenger screamed," Are you trying to get us both killed?"
"Relax, lady," he said, "just do
what I do ... Close your eyes."
FARMER JOE :sick:
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent
accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the
trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,
that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into
the--"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not
say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was
driving down the road--''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident,
this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is
trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.''
By this
time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the
farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the
highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown
into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I
could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the
accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.
After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the
road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, ""Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How
are you feeling?""
THE REASON WHY :think:
While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet
a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she
had a sexy body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform. Limp as a dish rag!
On
his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled
bathrobe, her hair curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine. Then,
without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. Looking down at his penis, he snarled, "Why you
ungrateful, mixed-up son of a b!tch. Now I know why they call you a prick!
NAUGHTY BOY!:drunk:
One
day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You
should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
However, one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty and
found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace. She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse
and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did so,slowly.
"Now
take off my socks." He did.
"Now take off my skirt." He did.
"Now take off my bra." Again with trembling hands he
did as he was told.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties." He slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she
looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes to town again, I'll fire you on the spot!!"
Q & A :POKE:
Q: Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the Blood Bank?
A: Sperm is handmade.
Hoping
your cup was a good one! :thumbsup:
GARTEN COP NEEDED!:whip:
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their
teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said "I bet I know what it
is —— it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the
candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said "I bet I know what it is
—— it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next
gift was from the liquor store-owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She let a drop fall
onto her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered. The teacher held the box up
over her face and let a couple of drops fall onto her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
""No," the boy answered.
""Then what is it?" asked the
teacher.
The little boy looking at her with a yucky look on his face and said, "A puppy!"
TAXI!! :rant:
The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive
the trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as
one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver.
She looked ahead and saw a truck
double-parked on the narrow street, but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as
he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side.
"Driver!" the passenger screamed," Are you trying to get us both killed?"
"Relax, lady," he said, "just do
what I do ... Close your eyes."
FARMER JOE :sick:
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent
accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the
trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,
that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into
the--"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not
say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was
driving down the road--''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident,
this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is
trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.''
By this
time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the
farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the
highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown
into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I
could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the
accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.
After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the
road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, ""Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How
are you feeling?""
THE REASON WHY :think:
While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet
a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she
had a sexy body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform. Limp as a dish rag!
On
his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled
bathrobe, her hair curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine. Then,
without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. Looking down at his penis, he snarled, "Why you
ungrateful, mixed-up son of a b!tch. Now I know why they call you a prick!
NAUGHTY BOY!:drunk:
One
day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You
should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
However, one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty and
found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace. She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse
and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did so,slowly.
"Now
take off my socks." He did.
"Now take off my skirt." He did.
"Now take off my bra." Again with trembling hands he
did as he was told.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties." He slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she
looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes to town again, I'll fire you on the spot!!"
Q & A :POKE:
Q: Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the Blood Bank?
A: Sperm is handmade.
Hoping
your cup was a good one! :thumbsup: