Alpha behaviour?

[Knuuttipukki]

I wonder what

kind of behaviour is typical to an alpha male. Is violating someone´s personal space(40cm?) one of those?

Interrupting other people while they are talking to someone? Using loud voice while speaking? Hogging for some extra

space for themselves?

Since non-verbal communication is important too it would be nice to know about these. I´m

also curious about my co-workers. I get that impression that there might be few alphas working at the same

workstation as me. I could make more accurate observations if I know that to look at.

[real_wiseman]

Invading somebody's personal

space is just plain rude, if you ask me...

I think you have just described a "bully" at your workplace (or a

boss maybe..*LoL*)

// rw

[Knuuttipukki]

He is not a boss, just a

co-worker. Maybe he doesn´t understand that he is invading into someone´s personal area.

[MaNofSteeL]

Invading

somebody's personal space is just plain rude, if you ask me...

I think you have just described a "bully" at

your workplace (or a boss maybe..*LoL*)

// rw
:blink:...

[phersurf]

Those are not alpha male

behaviors!

Usually the persons persona, their "public mask", is the opposite of their true nature. Those

are behaviors of someone that is not confident and trying to over compensate.

Alpha males have a relaxed

confidence, don't get upset at things going on around them, talk in a low (frequency), resonant voice, does not

have any nervous ticks, looks people in the eye, etc. Men that have a relaxed confidence naturally create rapport

with all people and women find them sexy.

[ManBeast]

Leader, dominant, confident,

in-control, relaxed, "cool," etc... Those are alpha behaviors.

MB

[Mtnjim]

The most "alpha's" I know are the

most polite people I know, :cheers: they can afford to be!!

[CollegeStudent]

Fonzi style, hes cool.

:)

[Silver]

Lol, I feel like what you're

describing here is a serious lack of social skills plus a lil' overcompensation. Poor guy.

[pheromack]

I agree with silver, I think

you should just let this co-worker know how you feel.

[Friendly1]

Alpha males

have a relaxed confidence, don't get upset at things going on around them, talk in a low (frequency), resonant

voice, does not have any nervous ticks, looks people in the eye, etc. Men that have a relaxed confidence naturally

create rapport with all people and women find them sexy.
Confidence is the key to being the top dog in any

pack. But you cannot fake it well. Guys who try to lower their voice below their natural range don't sound right

and they don't fool anyone (except themselves).

We all have a range of tones which are natural to us. We tend

to use the higher tones when we are excited, nervous, or frightened. We tend to use the lower tones when we are

confident, relaxed, and comfortable.

Learn to be relaxed and comfortable with yourself. Be confident in who you

are. The rest will follow.

[Newbie gal]

I would go for leadership.

What you described is some self-absorbed behavior nothing close to an alpha male behavior.

[Knuuttipukki]

Most interesting

replies...How about the body language? Is there some signs anyone who wants lots of social contacts should avoid?

[Friendly1]

Most

interesting replies...How about the body language? Is there some signs anyone who wants lots of social contacts

should avoid?
The alpha guys are the ones who dominate the guys around them without inviting fights. That

is pretty subtle body language to try and master overnight. I recommend you spend a few weeks just observing

people. You'll see groups of guys on occasion and then you can try to pick out the dominant members of the

groups.

Any groups you belong to, where you KNOW who the top dog is, will provide you with lots of opportunities

to sit back and just see how everyone interacts.

There is no simple set of rules for being the dominant guy in a

group. In fact, the same group can have several leaders. It depends on the situation. It takes a very dynamic man

to be a leader in most (or all) situations. There aren't many who can do that.

But, if you want to be a real

alpha male, concentrate on building your leadership skills. Join programs which encourage you to do that. Learn to

communicate effectively, to speak in public, and to be quick at taking advantage of opportunities to advance

yourself in any group.

Real alpha males look good because they ARE good. Fake alpha males try to look good by

making other people look bad. Eventually, the fake guys drive other people away from them and become unpopular.



Real leaders are outgoing, friendly, decisive, take action, willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done,

responsible to their group (and hopefully their community), and they inspire people.

You don't just do that

with gestures and arm-strokes. You do it with your actions, your beliefs, your values.

Young guys have to build

those skills through years of interacting with other people. In your age range, the best you can do is observe the

guys your age and how they assert themselves in various situations.

Practice doing whatever you see that works.

Avoid doing whatever you see that doesn't work.

Don't mope. Don't fret. Don't be down on yourself. Don't

be down on other people. Don't be negative. Don't be hostile or antagonistic.

All those behaviors are signs

of a LACK OF CONFIDENCE.

Confident men don't care if the world is falling apart. They have a plan to take care

of themselves and the people who are important to them.

Show the girls you are going places and let them feel

safe with you, but don't reveal everything to them. Be a bit mysterious and playful.

There is no one better

than you if you don't want anyone to beat you.

An alpha guy feels that in his bones. Failure is not an option

for him. Eventually, they all slam into the wall, but many of them learn to pick themselves up and get going

again.

That is my alpha-male-formula-lecture. It leaves out a lot. But it is the best start I can give anyone

asking for advice on how to become a leader.

That is what the alpha male is. Stop thinking "alpha male" (that

sounds so unsophisticated) and start thinking "leader". Where you lead, others will follow. That will give you the

stature or status you want.

You need ambition. You need desire. You need to want to be the best person you can

be. Excuses are not obstacles to you. Everything is within your grasp.

End of pep talk.

[Gegogi]

"Alpha males...talk in a

low (frequency), resonant voice,"
That's a stereotype and isn't true. The ability to lead isn't linked

to one's natural vocal range. Our past couple presidents speak in baritone to tenor ranges, not bass. In some

societies, e.g., certain parts of Africa, high pitched male voices are considered more alpha...

[Watcher]

The ones that get in youre face or

insecure sexually frustrated beta males - they pick fights get excessivley drunk and still end up with fat ugly

women.

The alphas are the ones that get respect (can hold their own in a fight) but dont actively seek em

instead use wit, intelligence and subtle body language to manouvure people

The caveman brute type well they

are just violent alphas - lone wolf types who cant mix to well in group situations probably produce way to much

Anone.

Then you have youre is it delta males - those inbetween.

[Knuuttipukki]

Lots of interesting replies

again...I think I know something about that leadership. While I read these replies I started to think about how a

small group of my friends were organized several years ago. I usually got my ideas thru easily and my friends were a

bit more open than usually. Sometimes (usually when booze was involved) they did follow my brother instead...Clear

evedence that booze does affect people´s judgement. :D

[bjf]

You're always best just working on

yourself and forgetting about where you "stack up"

[got2bmocareful]

when in a situation where

you are approaching a group, there are several way to interact/impact the group w/ your alpha ways. first locate

and make eye contact w/ the prettiest lady, never let your head or eyes fall, she should do that first. make a

direct shot for her, by begging the groups pardon and introducing yourself directlly to her, then make your intros

to the group. if you acknowledge her first and then the others, you set in the people's minds that you are one to

always seek the best(ALPHA). Also, key take time first to mimic and watch the other in conversation, you will be

surprised how easily you can fit right in to the convo, like you were there all the time.
-good luck, it does take

practice and there will be some disappointments .... but i have been successful w/ this time and again.

[DeMoKiLL]

Well here is a couple things

i've been trying. First off I changed most of my body language completely, I sit with my legs wide open arms

leaning back shoulders up, with a tough look. I walk with my chest out and shoulders up with a sort of confidence

that everybody notices. Read or Listen to some DYD and get the confidence that he talks about and you will get more

looks by girls then before, I sure have.

[bottomfisher]

Well here

is a couple things i've been trying. First off I changed most of my body language completely, I sit with my legs

wide open arms leaning back shoulders up, with a tough look. I walk with my chest out and shoulders up with a sort

of confidence that everybody notices. Read or Listen to some DYD and get the confidence that he talks about and you

will get more looks by girls then before, I sure have.
Sounds like you have a certain "swagger" to your

walk.

[Gegogi]

"I sit with my legs wide

open arms leaning back shoulders up, with a tough look."
I see those kind of guys sitting in the back of

classes very semester. I always thought they were scared or insecure and thus trying hard to look tough. Moreover,

legs wide open isn't a very classy posture (plus, you're unprotected...).

[phersurf]

Alpha males take up a lot of

space, so sitting with your legs open (they don't have to be real wide) arms on backs of chairs, etc are alpha

postures.

Standing with feet flat, arms down by sides, straight posture, head up and looking forward, with

shoulders relaxed (not held up, that shows stress).

[ManBeast]

But PLEASE don't "puff up" and

act like you are some huge guy when you aren't... I.E. holding your arms out 6-8" from your chest like they should

be out there due to muscle mass...

MB

[TRock]

I see those kind of

guys sitting in the back of classes very semester. I always thought they were scared or insecure and thus trying

hard to look tough. Moreover, legs wide open isn't a very classy posture (plus, you're unprotected...).


you're suppossed to convey that you're unprotected b/c as an alpha male you can still be caught off guard and

take out your competition.

[DeMoKiLL]

But PLEASE

don't "puff up" and act like you are some huge guy when you aren't... I.E. holding your arms out 6-8" from your

chest like they should be out there due to muscle mass...

MB ;-) im workin on it, I just moved into a

place with a private gym and once I get some time ill be there just about everyday

[Surreal]

My thoughts...

Alpha males

make decisions and follow through.
Beta males hesitate and take a survey.

Alpha males sense trouble and take

active actions to prevent conflicts.
Beta males hesitate and take a survey.

Alpha males fix problems quickly

with out he said she said BS.
Beta males hesitate and take a survey.

Alpha males let you know if you piss them

off.
Beta males........

Alpha males let you know when you did/said somthing stupid.
Beta males.........



Alpha males own up their mistake instantly
Beta males..........

Alpha males don't complain.....only rarly

with humor.
Beta males......

Alpha males know they are strong (in the mind) but do not boast.
Beta

males.......

Alpha males get first dibs of the women in a club
Beta males.....

That is just some thoughts

on it all.

Nearly all males have alpha in them. Even transgender males.

[Tiger4]

Most

interesting replies...How about the body language? Is there some signs anyone who wants lots of social contacts

should avoid?
You've received some excellent replies. The only thing I think I can add is to avoid being

self-centered.

One of the ingredients for being a good leader or alpha type is to genuinely care about others

and to understand them properly. Help people out and let them know that you are there for help whenever they need

it. You don't need a lot of money to do this either, all it takes is understanding and compassion. You should

always be willing to hear people out without interrupting them. Instead of bragging to others about what they've

done, the real alpha types are more concerned about seeing others happy.

[Friendly1]

Alpha males

take up a lot of space, so sitting with your legs open (they don't have to be real wide) arms on backs of chairs,

etc are alpha postures.
I can't remember any Alpha guys I have known doing that. PSEUDO-Alphas act like

that.

MtnJim hit the nail on the head when he said these natural leader types are POLITE. They are outgoing

people. Other people WANT to be around them.

They can be jerks, but they don't usually come across as jerks.



It's the confidence, the sure-fire belief in themselves, that establishes their dominance in my opinion. They

just don't care what other people think. They form their own opinions and act on them, but they do so with a horde

of people supporting them. They network. They build relationships.

These are the guys who put their arms

across another man's back without feeling awkward.

These are the guys who offer you a hand up without grimacing

or hesitating.

These are the guys who aren't afraid to get dirty.

These are the guys who just wade into a

crowd with a smile, a warm handshake, and come out with a gaggle of women drooling after them.

[bjf]

<<I can't remember any Alpha guys I

have known doing that. PSEUDO-Alphas act like that.>>

Agreed but women go for PSEUDO alphas all the time,

perhaps because in their effort to overdo it, someone who doesn't see the whole picture doesn't realize they're

overdoing it (compensating for whatever).

[Friendly1]

<<I can't remember

any Alpha guys I have known doing that. PSEUDO-Alphas act like that.>>

Agreed but women go for PSEUDO alphas all

the time, perhaps because in their effort to overdo it, someone who doesn't see the whole picture doesn't realize

they're overdoing it (compensating for whatever).
Women go for all sorts of guys all the time. Most of

the time, the guys just don't see it happening.

[phersurf]

<<I can't remember

any Alpha guys I have known doing that. PSEUDO-Alphas act like that.>>

Agreed but women go for PSEUDO alphas

all the time, perhaps because in their effort to overdo it, someone who doesn't see the whole picture doesn't

realize they're overdoing it (compensating for whatever).

None of the behaviors I mention are "look

at me, I'm acting like an alpha!" behaviors. They are part of who they are.

The thing is, if you start

exibiting these behaviors, whether you believe them or not, they will actually start to transform your thinking and

who you are.

[bjf]

sorry, good point

[Friendly1]

The thing is,

if you start exibiting these behaviors, whether you believe them or not, they will actually start to transform your

thinking and who you are.
VERY good point! :cheers:

One of the body language books I recommended in

the Other Topics forum (I forget which book) actually recommends conscious alteration of one's mood by changing

posture. If you are feeling down, you can straighten your shoulders, push your chest out, and breathe more freely.

It perks you up. If you want to feel down, you can hunch your shoulders and bow your head. That inhibits deep

breathing.

So, acting a certain way deliberately is a good way to start down the path toward being that way

naturally. If that makes sense.