View Full Version : Alpha behaviour?
Knuuttipukki
11-16-2004, 07:48 AM
I wonder what
kind of behaviour is typical to an alpha male. Is violating someone´s personal space(40cm?) one of those?
Interrupting other people while they are talking to someone? Using loud voice while speaking? Hogging for some extra
space for themselves?
Since non-verbal communication is important too it would be nice to know about these. I´m
also curious about my co-workers. I get that impression that there might be few alphas working at the same
workstation as me. I could make more accurate observations if I know that to look at.
real_wiseman
11-16-2004, 08:30 AM
Invading somebody's personal
space is just plain rude, if you ask me...
I think you have just described a "bully" at your workplace (or a
boss maybe..*LoL*)
// rw
Knuuttipukki
11-16-2004, 08:47 AM
He is not a boss, just a
co-worker. Maybe he doesn´t understand that he is invading into someone´s personal area.
MaNofSteeL
11-16-2004, 08:48 AM
Invading
somebody's personal space is just plain rude, if you ask me...
I think you have just described a "bully" at
your workplace (or a boss maybe..*LoL*)
// rw
:blink:...
phersurf
11-16-2004, 10:40 AM
Those are not alpha male
behaviors!
Usually the persons persona, their "public mask", is the opposite of their true nature. Those
are behaviors of someone that is not confident and trying to over compensate.
Alpha males have a relaxed
confidence, don't get upset at things going on around them, talk in a low (frequency), resonant voice, does not
have any nervous ticks, looks people in the eye, etc. Men that have a relaxed confidence naturally create rapport
with all people and women find them sexy.
ManBeast
11-16-2004, 10:50 AM
Leader, dominant, confident,
in-control, relaxed, "cool," etc... Those are alpha behaviors.
MB
Mtnjim
11-16-2004, 11:17 AM
The most "alpha's" I know are the
most polite people I know, :cheers: they can afford to be!!
CollegeStudent
11-16-2004, 12:49 PM
Fonzi style, hes cool.
:)
Silver
11-16-2004, 02:24 PM
Lol, I feel like what you're
describing here is a serious lack of social skills plus a lil' overcompensation. Poor guy.
pheromack
11-16-2004, 05:13 PM
I agree with silver, I think
you should just let this co-worker know how you feel.
Friendly1
11-16-2004, 06:27 PM
Alpha males
have a relaxed confidence, don't get upset at things going on around them, talk in a low (frequency), resonant
voice, does not have any nervous ticks, looks people in the eye, etc. Men that have a relaxed confidence naturally
create rapport with all people and women find them sexy.
Confidence is the key to being the top dog in any
pack. But you cannot fake it well. Guys who try to lower their voice below their natural range don't sound right
and they don't fool anyone (except themselves).
We all have a range of tones which are natural to us. We tend
to use the higher tones when we are excited, nervous, or frightened. We tend to use the lower tones when we are
confident, relaxed, and comfortable.
Learn to be relaxed and comfortable with yourself. Be confident in who you
are. The rest will follow.
Newbie gal
11-16-2004, 06:32 PM
I would go for leadership.
What you described is some self-absorbed behavior nothing close to an alpha male behavior.
Knuuttipukki
11-16-2004, 09:24 PM
Most interesting
replies...How about the body language? Is there some signs anyone who wants lots of social contacts should avoid?
Friendly1
11-16-2004, 10:32 PM
Most
interesting replies...How about the body language? Is there some signs anyone who wants lots of social contacts
should avoid?
The alpha guys are the ones who dominate the guys around them without inviting fights. That
is pretty subtle body language to try and master overnight. I recommend you spend a few weeks just observing
people. You'll see groups of guys on occasion and then you can try to pick out the dominant members of the
groups.
Any groups you belong to, where you KNOW who the top dog is, will provide you with lots of opportunities
to sit back and just see how everyone interacts.
There is no simple set of rules for being the dominant guy in a
group. In fact, the same group can have several leaders. It depends on the situation. It takes a very dynamic man
to be a leader in most (or all) situations. There aren't many who can do that.
But, if you want to be a real
alpha male, concentrate on building your leadership skills. Join programs which encourage you to do that. Learn to
communicate effectively, to speak in public, and to be quick at taking advantage of opportunities to advance
yourself in any group.
Real alpha males look good because they ARE good. Fake alpha males try to look good by
making other people look bad. Eventually, the fake guys drive other people away from them and become unpopular.
Real leaders are outgoing, friendly, decisive, take action, willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done,
responsible to their group (and hopefully their community), and they inspire people.
You don't just do that
with gestures and arm-strokes. You do it with your actions, your beliefs, your values.
Young guys have to build
those skills through years of interacting with other people. In your age range, the best you can do is observe the
guys your age and how they assert themselves in various situations.
Practice doing whatever you see that works.
Avoid doing whatever you see that doesn't work.
Don't mope. Don't fret. Don't be down on yourself. Don't
be down on other people. Don't be negative. Don't be hostile or antagonistic.
All those behaviors are signs
of a LACK OF CONFIDENCE.
Confident men don't care if the world is falling apart. They have a plan to take care
of themselves and the people who are important to them.
Show the girls you are going places and let them feel
safe with you, but don't reveal everything to them. Be a bit mysterious and playful.
There is no one better
than you if you don't want anyone to beat you.
An alpha guy feels that in his bones. Failure is not an option
for him. Eventually, they all slam into the wall, but many of them learn to pick themselves up and get going
again.
That is my alpha-male-formula-lecture. It leaves out a lot. But it is the best start I can give anyone
asking for advice on how to become a leader.
That is what the alpha male is. Stop thinking "alpha male" (that
sounds so unsophisticated) and start thinking "leader". Where you lead, others will follow. That will give you the
stature or status you want.
You need ambition. You need desire. You need to want to be the best person you can
be. Excuses are not obstacles to you. Everything is within your grasp.
End of pep talk.
Gegogi
11-16-2004, 11:24 PM
"Alpha males...talk in a
low (frequency), resonant voice,"
That's a stereotype and isn't true. The ability to lead isn't linked
to one's natural vocal range. Our past couple presidents speak in baritone to tenor ranges, not bass. In some
societies, e.g., certain parts of Africa, high pitched male voices are considered more alpha...
Watcher
11-17-2004, 01:14 AM
The ones that get in youre face or
insecure sexually frustrated beta males - they pick fights get excessivley drunk and still end up with fat ugly
women.
The alphas are the ones that get respect (can hold their own in a fight) but dont actively seek em
instead use wit, intelligence and subtle body language to manouvure people
The caveman brute type well they
are just violent alphas - lone wolf types who cant mix to well in group situations probably produce way to much
Anone.
Then you have youre is it delta males - those inbetween.
Knuuttipukki
11-17-2004, 05:21 AM
Lots of interesting replies
again...I think I know something about that leadership. While I read these replies I started to think about how a
small group of my friends were organized several years ago. I usually got my ideas thru easily and my friends were a
bit more open than usually. Sometimes (usually when booze was involved) they did follow my brother instead...Clear
evedence that booze does affect people´s judgement. :D
You're always best just working on
yourself and forgetting about where you "stack up"
got2bmocareful
11-17-2004, 10:10 AM
when in a situation where
you are approaching a group, there are several way to interact/impact the group w/ your alpha ways. first locate
and make eye contact w/ the prettiest lady, never let your head or eyes fall, she should do that first. make a
direct shot for her, by begging the groups pardon and introducing yourself directlly to her, then make your intros
to the group. if you acknowledge her first and then the others, you set in the people's minds that you are one to
always seek the best(ALPHA). Also, key take time first to mimic and watch the other in conversation, you will be
surprised how easily you can fit right in to the convo, like you were there all the time.
-good luck, it does take
practice and there will be some disappointments .... but i have been successful w/ this time and again.
DeMoKiLL
11-17-2004, 12:27 PM
Well here is a couple things
i've been trying. First off I changed most of my body language completely, I sit with my legs wide open arms
leaning back shoulders up, with a tough look. I walk with my chest out and shoulders up with a sort of confidence
that everybody notices. Read or Listen to some DYD and get the confidence that he talks about and you will get more
looks by girls then before, I sure have.
bottomfisher
11-17-2004, 12:48 PM
Well here
is a couple things i've been trying. First off I changed most of my body language completely, I sit with my legs
wide open arms leaning back shoulders up, with a tough look. I walk with my chest out and shoulders up with a sort
of confidence that everybody notices. Read or Listen to some DYD and get the confidence that he talks about and you
will get more looks by girls then before, I sure have.
Sounds like you have a certain "swagger" to your
walk.
Gegogi
11-17-2004, 01:00 PM
"I sit with my legs wide
open arms leaning back shoulders up, with a tough look."
I see those kind of guys sitting in the back of
classes very semester. I always thought they were scared or insecure and thus trying hard to look tough. Moreover,
legs wide open isn't a very classy posture (plus, you're unprotected...).
phersurf
11-17-2004, 01:15 PM
Alpha males take up a lot of
space, so sitting with your legs open (they don't have to be real wide) arms on backs of chairs, etc are alpha
postures.
Standing with feet flat, arms down by sides, straight posture, head up and looking forward, with
shoulders relaxed (not held up, that shows stress).
ManBeast
11-17-2004, 03:56 PM
But PLEASE don't "puff up" and
act like you are some huge guy when you aren't... I.E. holding your arms out 6-8" from your chest like they should
be out there due to muscle mass...
MB
TRock
11-17-2004, 05:52 PM
I see those kind of
guys sitting in the back of classes very semester. I always thought they were scared or insecure and thus trying
hard to look tough. Moreover, legs wide open isn't a very classy posture (plus, you're unprotected...).
you're suppossed to convey that you're unprotected b/c as an alpha male you can still be caught off guard and
take out your competition.
DeMoKiLL
11-17-2004, 06:18 PM
But PLEASE
don't "puff up" and act like you are some huge guy when you aren't... I.E. holding your arms out 6-8" from your
chest like they should be out there due to muscle mass...
MB ;-) im workin on it, I just moved into a
place with a private gym and once I get some time ill be there just about everyday
Surreal
11-17-2004, 07:07 PM
My thoughts...
Alpha males
make decisions and follow through.
Beta males hesitate and take a survey.
Alpha males sense trouble and take
active actions to prevent conflicts.
Beta males hesitate and take a survey.
Alpha males fix problems quickly
with out he said she said BS.
Beta males hesitate and take a survey.
Alpha males let you know if you piss them
off.
Beta males........
Alpha males let you know when you did/said somthing stupid.
Beta males.........
Alpha males own up their mistake instantly
Beta males..........
Alpha males don't complain.....only rarly
with humor.
Beta males......
Alpha males know they are strong (in the mind) but do not boast.
Beta
males.......
Alpha males get first dibs of the women in a club
Beta males.....
That is just some thoughts
on it all.
Nearly all males have alpha in them. Even transgender males.
Tiger4
11-17-2004, 07:30 PM
Most
interesting replies...How about the body language? Is there some signs anyone who wants lots of social contacts
should avoid?
You've received some excellent replies. The only thing I think I can add is to avoid being
self-centered.
One of the ingredients for being a good leader or alpha type is to genuinely care about others
and to understand them properly. Help people out and let them know that you are there for help whenever they need
it. You don't need a lot of money to do this either, all it takes is understanding and compassion. You should
always be willing to hear people out without interrupting them. Instead of bragging to others about what they've
done, the real alpha types are more concerned about seeing others happy.
Friendly1
11-18-2004, 12:28 AM
Alpha males
take up a lot of space, so sitting with your legs open (they don't have to be real wide) arms on backs of chairs,
etc are alpha postures.
I can't remember any Alpha guys I have known doing that. PSEUDO-Alphas act like
that.
MtnJim hit the nail on the head when he said these natural leader types are POLITE. They are outgoing
people. Other people WANT to be around them.
They can be jerks, but they don't usually come across as jerks.
It's the confidence, the sure-fire belief in themselves, that establishes their dominance in my opinion. They
just don't care what other people think. They form their own opinions and act on them, but they do so with a horde
of people supporting them. They network. They build relationships.
These are the guys who put their arms
across another man's back without feeling awkward.
These are the guys who offer you a hand up without grimacing
or hesitating.
These are the guys who aren't afraid to get dirty.
These are the guys who just wade into a
crowd with a smile, a warm handshake, and come out with a gaggle of women drooling after them.
<<I can't remember any Alpha guys I
have known doing that. PSEUDO-Alphas act like that.>>
Agreed but women go for PSEUDO alphas all the time,
perhaps because in their effort to overdo it, someone who doesn't see the whole picture doesn't realize they're
overdoing it (compensating for whatever).
Friendly1
11-18-2004, 11:46 AM
<<I can't remember
any Alpha guys I have known doing that. PSEUDO-Alphas act like that.>>
Agreed but women go for PSEUDO alphas all
the time, perhaps because in their effort to overdo it, someone who doesn't see the whole picture doesn't realize
they're overdoing it (compensating for whatever).
Women go for all sorts of guys all the time. Most of
the time, the guys just don't see it happening.
phersurf
11-18-2004, 12:27 PM
<<I can't remember
any Alpha guys I have known doing that. PSEUDO-Alphas act like that.>>
Agreed but women go for PSEUDO alphas
all the time, perhaps because in their effort to overdo it, someone who doesn't see the whole picture doesn't
realize they're overdoing it (compensating for whatever).
None of the behaviors I mention are "look
at me, I'm acting like an alpha!" behaviors. They are part of who they are.
The thing is, if you start
exibiting these behaviors, whether you believe them or not, they will actually start to transform your thinking and
who you are.
Friendly1
11-18-2004, 02:10 PM
The thing is,
if you start exibiting these behaviors, whether you believe them or not, they will actually start to transform your
thinking and who you are.
VERY good point! :cheers:
One of the body language books I recommended in
the Other Topics forum (I forget which book) actually recommends conscious alteration of one's mood by changing
posture. If you are feeling down, you can straighten your shoulders, push your chest out, and breathe more freely.
It perks you up. If you want to feel down, you can hunch your shoulders and bow your head. That inhibits deep
breathing.
So, acting a certain way deliberately is a good way to start down the path toward being that way
naturally. If that makes sense.
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