Mones, Cheating & Apologies

[Gegogi]

Here’s

the deal. Should I let sleeping dogs lie?

[belgareth]

Who's the apology for, you or

him? Do you think it is going to make him feel better or just re-open an already painful wound? If you think it will

make him feel better, which I doubt, go apologize to him. If it's to assuage your guilt make yourself a sign

describing what a cad you think you are, hang it around your neck and go stand downtown during lunch time for the

next week. Why add to his misery?

[Gegogi]

Thanks

belgareth (member.php?u=122), you're probably right.

[MOBLEYC57]

One should never cry over milk

spilt, that have been wiped up, G. Let it be. Tis amazing how things were fine while things were a secret, but once

she confessed, your thoughts changed ... guilt. A guilty conscious is a veeeeeeery unfriendly ghost ... it'll haunt

you, and wake you, and make you frown, and it seems to have a firm grip on you.

Bel said it as best as it can be

said ... tomorrows another day, and believe me you, it will come, and there's nothing you can do about it ... just

like your mental situation. Let that dog sleep, or he may bite!

[Watcher]

Move on - if she was really

faithful to him mones or no mones from yorue end she wouldnt have cheated on him - if she has done it once it could

very well happen again.

If he sticks with her well he is the one that (if no kids involved) then he is just

plain stupid. He will trust her until she gets the urge for someone else (once you have moved on) of course mones

are a powerful weapon i have married women come onto me all the time - i have made it a personal rule if i know they

are involved elsewhere with a steady boyfriend husband i simply tell them when they try to take things further that

i want someone who is unattached without any baggage and who is willing to be faithful to me - they very quickly

realise that they have to much to lose in most cases and it goes no further.

[bjf]

If you try to apologize to the

husband, he'll just say "why didn't you realize you shouldn't have slept with my wife before you screwed

her?"

There's really no apology you could give that he will accept; maybe he can take one from her, but only

because he has to if he wants his marriage to continue.

Also, some universities have actual rules against

professor-student relationships (I know mine did), and if yours does, it is probably best that you deny everything

and admit nothing.

[platinumfox]

Here’s the

deal. I decided to experiement with ‘mones and wore TE and SOE covered by Burberry Weekend or Realm everyday to

class. Mones can be danergous in the hands of the untrained as a beautiful 23 year old student started visiting my

office nearly everyday to talk. I’m reasonably good looking, workout and dress well, but I’m a 50 year old professor

of Asian descent (she’s also Asian). So I’m pretty sure the ‘mones fanned her fire. After about a week she

basically attacked me and could never get enough (nearly broke it off).

Unfortunately, all good things must

come to an end: she confessed everything to her 45 year old husband last week. They’ve only been married for a

little over a year. Once I quit focusing on my hurt feelings after the breakup, I realized what a dirtbag and piss

ant I was. So I’m filled with guilt and remorse but can’t do anything to fix matters. He was very hurt but “trusts”

her not to see me anymore. My first wife cheated on me with her ex-husband so I can imagine how he must feel now.



She’s still in one of my classes with a month left in the semester, so things are awkward. I’m thinking of

apologizing to her husband. I’m not a coward--I’m willing to go through with it--but do you think an apology is a

good idea or should I let sleeping dogs lie?Why were you wearing the mones if you thought it had an affect

on her?Sounds like you wanted her in the first place?You brought it all on yourself.

[culturalblonde]

Maybe it's the way you

worded your post, but I was left with distaste after reading it. It sounds like to me that you want to rationalize

your immoral act by blaming the mones. And then, you want to feel sorry for yourself because YOU have “hurt

feelings.” It wasn’t until the wife confessed (or after the fact) that you even considered the husband’s feelings.

Why didn’t you learn from your wife cheating on you?

It takes years to build up trust, but only

seconds to destroy it. I guess the same could be said about respect and character.

[Bruce]

Gegogi,

I think we have all

been in your shoes to some extent or another. Whether you should talk to the guy or not is a "case by case"

decision I think. I would normally "leave well enough alone", but in a situation I was in (not a marriage, but an

engaged situation) the other guy made a peace-making overture towards me after the dust had settled, and I wrote a

heartfelt letter back (we were in different countries at the time). It seemed to help with the "healing" for me

anyway. Nobody actually enjoys feeling hatred towards another human being. I think we do it because we think we

need to for some defense purpose. If somebody makes a move toward peace, it might just defuse years of nagging

fear/anger. Ya never know.

My 2 cents anyway. Good luck,
Bruce

[MOBLEYC57]

Fox, I use to wear mixes knowing

what it is doing just to see how far it will go, or will they become aggressive. Most people test, not really

knowing what would be their action, once the fire is blazing. Some fall, some back off ... kind of like flirting.

You can flirt for years, knowing that YOU will never allow it to go further, but then comes that ONE day, and KAPOW!

Playing with fire doesn't mean you know how to control it once it blazes up into a big flame.

CB, sometimes a

lesson has to be taught over and over, for one to catch on. Maybe G, is aware, and just wanted to hear what others

thought. I often want to hear others thoughts, but stuck with my decision(s).

On two kind of similiar situations

...

1) I was in the 10th grade, my doorbell rung, and it was one of my best friend's girl. We ended up in my

room, and I did her. Guilty as charged! :rant: She came back the next day, and I didn't let her in. That was the

lesson that showed me that there's no woman beautiful enough, or sexy enough to risk a friendship!

Now get

this ... I went into the military, retired, door bell rung, and it was him. I was glad to see him, but got a knot in

my stomach from the thought of over 25 years ago ... The ghost of guilt. :rant:

2) I was

stationed in Virginia, and there was this lady that was married that I thought was perfect ... 6 feet, beautiful

eyes, beautiful & thick muscular legs, and an outstanding set of toilet grippers! Definitely Mobley's grade of

woman - 9! Out of the blue, she asked me when I was going to take her to lunch. <SLAP!> No mones needed/used/heard

of. Anywho, we did lunch, and she kissed me! I kissed her back!:whip: She was mine, and the permission was given

verbally, I just had to decide the when and where. Anyway, before I got to feast upon such nutritious-looking

beauty, I was out partying one night, and she was there with her husband. The lady introduced me to him, I shook his

hand, and it killed my hunger for her. I could no longer go through with it, stayed my distance, and dodged all her

calls. Had I not met him ... she would have been Mobleytized! Conscious -- It's powerful, it can be painful, and it

is a good teacher for a lot of people, BUT! there are A loooooooot of people that don't have one. :rasp:

THE

END :blink:

[Gegogi]

Thanks for your thoughts.

[bjf]

Incidentally,

mones seem to drawn a lot of attention from women at work, i.e., students, faculty and staff. Elsewhere, bars,

shopping malls, etc., they don't seem to enhance my presence much.

That's interesting. I've

noticed that a lot of times, people don't smell the pheromones and look for the source, but rather, if the source

comes into their focus, they smell the pheromones.

Obviously you are always at the center of attention in the

classroom, and in your interactions with co-workers.

In shopping malls, bars, you aren't going to be in the

focus of most.

So maybe it is the nature of your mix. Try boosting up the none when you aren't in focus.

It seems to catch people's attention the most; perhaps as a defensive mechanism against potential threats (ie males

in fight or flight situations).

[Pancho1188]

Everyone gave you the correct

response. Apologizing would only benefit your conscience in this situation. That's the nature of the beast of

cheating. While you're a John Doe, that man is allowed to hate you and think you're the scum of the earth despite

the fact that it was his wife's fault. If he's logical like me and realizes that you're not to blame but his

wife is, then he'll have nothing against you and accosting him will only create anger instead of relieving it. In

the first case, he either hates you and putting a face to it will either hurt him more, piss him off more, or make

you human and maybe less capable of hating you (after all, you are there to apologize...how bad is that) therefore

screwing with his mind. Either way, his beef is with his wife, not you...and your involvement would only escalate a

situation instead of resolving it.

I actually was playing Baldur's Gate II and just saw this situation played

out in the game. This paladin's wife was cheating on him, and he accosted the man. The man told him that he knew

he couldn't apologize because it wouldn't change anything. The rest of what happened doesn't really apply here

(the woman cheated because the man was never around), but I think that first part holds true. If you really care

about that man, you'll do what's best for him, which is what you're doing: staying away from the husband and

wife.

[bjf]

what pancho meant to say was "Stay

away from the husband and wife."

[Pancho1188]

Thanks bjf...or should I call

you 'PanchNotes' from now on? :)

(reference to "Cliff's Notes", affectionately---or just accidentally---known

as "CliffNotes")

[belgareth]

It is not exclusively the

wife's fault. She didn't hold him down and force herself on him. It takes two, assigning all the blame to her is

just dodging the issue. I was pretty unsympathetic because Gegogi made a concious choice to play around with another

man's wife. He has free will and could have refused. Now he feels guilty about it.

[Gegogi]

"While you're a John Doe,

that man is allowed to hate you and think you're the scum of the earth despite the fact that it was his wife's

fault. If he's logical like me and realizes that you're not to blame but his wife is, then he'll have nothing

against you and accosting him will only create anger instead of relieving it."
Thanks Pancho your

comments. I pretty much agree with everything you wrote. My main struggle is, unfortunately, I fell in love with her

and have difficultly staying away. I know we're both dirtbags, but obviously she's decided to stay married and I

need to steer clear before I fall any deeper into the abyss.

[Pancho1188]

It is not

exclusively the wife's fault. She didn't hold him down and force herself on him. It takes two, assigning all the

blame to her is just dodging the issue. I was pretty unsympathetic because Gegogi made a concious choice to play

around with another man's wife. He has free will and could have refused. Now he feels guilty about

it.BJF Version: The married individual is ultimately responsible for being faithful to his/her

wife/husband.

Long-Winded Version:

As good of a point as you make...I'm going to disagree with you

100%. It is her fault. Married women (or men, for that matter) get hit on all of the time. If they do something

about it, it's their fault. That's it. In this case, she pursued him...which means she would've

pursued someone else if he didn't take. G-dog has no responsibility to ensure the sanctity of her

marriage...that's her responsibility. He's just reaping the benefits of an obviously bad marriage (if she's such

a horndog)...I would say that that probably makes him a bad person and morally wrong (You're going to hell,

adulterer!!! :smite: Sorry, I couldn't resist ;) :rofl: As in Seinfeld when George sleeps with a married

woman, "You didn't commit adultery; I did." I guess it's a matter of interpretation), but it's not his fault she

cheated. She must be responsible for her own actions. Unless he kidnapped her, put her in a basement, and raped her,

she had all the power she needed to stop it. The word "no" or the equivalent non-verbal message would've

sufficed.

[Pancho1188]

Thanks Pancho

your comments. I pretty much agree with everything you wrote. She intitally came on to me and teased the hell out of

me until I broke (didn't take long). I mean graphic no holds barred teasing. If she shaved that day, she always

showed me how smooth it was or played with herself in front of me. Nevertheless, I fanned the flames and responded

in kind so I deserve at least half the blame. After all, it takes two to tango.

My main struggle is,

unfortunately, I fell in love with her and have difficultly staying away. I know we're both dirtbags and deserve

one another, but obviously she's decided to stay married and I need to steer clear before I fall any deeper into

the abyss.
Where the (*#% do you teach!?!?!? I need to find one of these places, dammit...I'm missing

out! :LOL:

[Gegogi]

"Where the (*#% do you

teach!?!?!? I need to find one of these places, dammit...I'm missing out!"

Incidentally, most college

enrollments are 54-60% female. My school is 60%. Grad school is even more skewed towards females. That says a lot

about the declining status of men and the increasing status and power of women in the near future. Women will hold

more positions of power and under educated men may increasingly find themselves treated as sex objects and toys for

female enjoyment.

[MOBLEYC57]

Such is life ... falling for

what's not :nono: good for you, Ge. You had some wild:whip:, naughty :smite: , and unforgetable :thumbsup: moments,

and now you have some regrets :frustrate , but guess what ... In 100 years, it all won't matter none.

:think:

And this too, shall pass.

[belgareth]

BJF

Version: The married individual is ultimately responsible for being faithful to his/her wife/husband.



Long-Winded Version:

As good of a point as you make...I'm going to disagree with you 100%. It is her fault.

Married women (or men, for that matter) get hit on all of the time. If they do something about it, it's their

fault. That's it. In this case, she pursued him...which means she would've pursued someone else if

he didn't take. G-dog has no responsibility to ensure the sanctity of her marriage...that's her responsibility.

He's just reaping the benefits of an obviously bad marriage (if she's such a horndog)...I would say that that

probably makes him a bad person and morally wrong (You're going to hell, adulterer!!! :smite: Sorry, I couldn't

resist ;) :rofl: As in Seinfeld when George sleeps with a married woman, "You didn't commit adultery; I

did." I guess it's a matter of interpretation), but it's not his fault she cheated. She must be responsible for

her own actions. Unless he kidnapped her, put her in a basement, and raped her, she had all the power she needed to

stop it. The word "no" or the equivalent non-verbal message would've sufficed.
Since he knew she was

married he made the choice, it was his decision to make. Just because somebody else would have done it if he hadn't

does not make it the right thing to do. "Oh, gee. They were going to steal that anyhow so I didn't figure it

wouldn't be any more wrong if I helped. Somebody else would have if I hadn't!" Same 'logic'.

I don't watch

TV so am not inflicted with their value system and I don't consider popular TV shows as a guide to my values.

[Pancho1188]

Although

students hit on me regularly, few can dent my resolve and break me. But she was no ordinary woman or student. She's

smart as a whip, a "9," a total horndog, perv deluxe and a real pro. A couples weeks ago, after taking her out to

lunch, she got so horny on the drive home she had to pull off the road to beat off--with all sorts of cars zooming

by (she was driving). My kind of woman.

Incidentally, most college enrollments are 54-60% female. My school is

60%. Grad school is even more skewed towards females. That says a lot about the declining status of men and the

increasing status and power of women in the near future. Women will hold more positions of power and under educated

men may increasingly find themselves treated as sex objects and toys for female enjoyment.
Yeah, no one

believes me when I say that women are taking over the world (well, the US at least)...but I guess it's only fair

since men had it so good for so many years... :rofl:

[Silver]

Women will hold

more positions of power and under educated men may increasingly find themselves treated as sex objects and toys for

female enjoyment.
And this is different from right now...how?:D

*muahaha!*

~Silver

[Pancho1188]

And this is

different from right now...how?:D

*muahaha!*

~Silver
Female Presidents getting eaten out in the

oval office... ;)

That's the difference. :thumbsup:

[MOBLEYC57]

Yeah, no one

believes me when I say that women are taking over the world (well, the US at least)...but I guess it's only fair

since men had it so good for so many years... :rofl:Correction, Pancho ... women have been running this

world since Eve propt herself against a tree, butt naked, swinging an apple, and said, "Adam! Come her boy! Bite

this apple, 'cause I got something good for you!"

It's taking this long for people to start understanding or

seeing it. :frustrate It's kind of like men bragging about how they have 2 or more women, and saying they're

running things. Please! If you have to shuffle your time/days/calendar to accommodate them, you ain't

running jack! :blink:

[Pancho1188]

I meant running as in being in

the high-level positions of power...not the well-known subtle position of telling other people what to do and having

them unquestionably do it like when a woman asks a man to do something... ;) ;) Like I mentioned in another

thread...power is an illusion in relationships and such...but finally women have "the buck stops here" type of power

instead of just running things while pretending to be trophy-wife first ladies (obvious joke about Hilary running

the country) or whatever.

[MOBLEYC57]

I meant

running as in being in the high-level positions of power...not the well-known subtle position of telling other

people what to do and having them unquestionably do it like when a woman asks a man to do something... ;) ;) Like I

mentioned in another thread...power is an illusion in relationships and such...but finally women have "the buck

stops here" type of power instead of just running things while pretending to be trophy-wife first ladies (obvious

joke about Hilary running the country) or whatever.

:thumbsup:

[Pancho1188]

Since he knew

she was married he made the choice, it was his decision to make. Just because somebody else would have done it if he

hadn't does not make it the right thing to do. "Oh, gee. They were going to steal that anyhow so I didn't figure

it wouldn't be any more wrong if I helped. Somebody else would have if I hadn't!" Same 'logic'.

I don't

watch TV so am not inflicted with their value system and I don't consider popular TV shows as a guide to my

values.
I'll consider your last comment a sarcastic joke at my joke since you are aware of my inserting

of Seinfeld lines as humor and not to make a point. I would be offended if you actually believed or were

inferring that I got my values from a TV show. Seeing as I don't own a working television set and haven't watched

TV in months, I guess I have no values at the moment.

Are you okay, Bel? I sense hostility, and I just said I

disagreed with you, man...I didn't take any cheap shots at you. I still won't...I respect you and I even

apologize if somehow my random jokes within somehow displayed otherwise. Hell, I'll edit the post if that's

true.


Anyway, back to the debate at hand...

I never said he was right, moral, or decent. In fact, I said

it was wrong, immoral, and just plain bad. I said it's her fault she cheated. You said she didn't force him

down...well, he didn't force her down. The responsibility to maintain a healthy marriage lies within the

participants of the marriage. You cannot put blame on someone else for your own mistake.

What G did was

obviously wrong...but he didn't force her, so it was her fault she cheated.

I have not cheated in any of my

relationships. I don't care if a naked girl jumped on me and tried to tear off my clothes. I don't break my

promises. If I broke that promise, it would be my fault, and my fault alone. That naked girl who jumped on me

represents temptation. It's my duty to resist if I am to fulfill a promise I gave. To pass the buck on to that

other person...that's wrong. Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to take it.

In the same respect,

any woman who cheats on me will receive the full blame on my part. I upheld my part of the bargin, so it's her

responsibility to uphold hers. I'm not going to blame some dude who's just trying to get laid for my wife's

stupidity, weakness, etc. That's her responsibility. He could be the scum that I wipe off my shoes, but I can't

blame him for doing it because it's her decision to sleep with him.

Yes, it takes two to tango. That makes

them both wrong, immoral, scum of the earth, whatever you want to call it. As for who's to blame for being

unfaithful, it lies solely on the one who made the vow to be faithful in the first place. That other man is not

responsible for her marriage...although it would be nice if he was considerate enough to respect that everlasting

bond...

[Silver]

We are all flawed and imperfect.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Gegogi is obviously filled with remorse. Having realized that,

we should no longer be focusing on casting blame. I'm not even going to mention my personal beliefs on this

matter, because I feel like at this point they have no place. Does it matter if it is ultimately his fault or hers?

Gegogi came here with his story because he feels guilty and would like advice. Would more guilt, deserved or

underserved, be right here? Isn't this forum about support and friendship?

Gegogi, I think you need to consider

not only the needs of this woman's husband but your own as well. Telling him would make you feel better, but has

the possibility of either helping or hurting him. I would advise you to write him a letter...and then don't mail

it. Write it, read it a few times, and put it somewhere safe. After she is no longer in your class, take it out

again and consider it. Look back on this time in your life. Then decide if you want to mail it. However, I should

warn you, that if you do, type it and make it completely anonymous as best you can...I would hate to see you fired

or something over this, which is why I would advise you not to mail it. But at that point, looking back, do what

you feel is right.

Hope everything works out for you.

~Silver

[bjf]

Forget about her, just move onto the

next

[belgareth]

Silver,

Good advice.



Pancho,

No hostility intended. Sorry about the way it came across. I didn't read your first comment the way

you intended it and that's probably my own fault as well. While I am monitoring the forum and commenting here and

there I am in the middle of reconfiguring my network to take advantage of VOIP. My time on the forum has been split

between downing and configuring servers and routers. As a result I am not paying as much attention as I should.



That said, years ago I did something similar while on a business trip. The exact details aren't important. When I

got home I went to visit a friend, a semi-retired priest, thinking to spill my guts and assauge my own guilt. His

answer to me went something like this "Regardless of what she did, you violated the sanctity of their marraige. Yes,

she may have done the same with somebody else had you not been there. That doesn't change the basic facts of your

actions. You and you alone are responsible for those. You and she share the guilt equally." I am not condeming

Gegogi, we are all human. His actions are still his responsibility. He's not scum, he simply made a human mistake

or what I consider a mistake. Others would probably disagree with me but that's their business, not mine.

[culturalblonde]

I think Gegogi should

personally give the husband an apology. In person, no phone call and no notes/letters. That way, maybe he will get

a good butt beating and think twice next time he decides to mess with another man's woman.

Gegogi how could

you fall in love? I think this girl was using you, either for a better grade or to end some boredom at home or for

money. She never had the same feelings that you had/wanted so now you want to portray her as a wild woman

(typical). I think she got bored with you and made up a story about telling her husband to end the relationship

with you.

MobleyC57:
In your situations 1) you were young and, 2) I'm assuming you did not know

the woman (notice I didn't write lady) was married. After all, this is a 50 year old (supposedly professional)

man, who should have known better.

Belgareth:
You are very wise, and I admire your way of thinking.

[bjf]

Anyone else want to get something off

their chest?

[Silver]

Lol, bjf that reminded me of one

of the tshirts I saw on campus on national coming out day.

"Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you...
...I

don't want to be premed"

:D

[culturalblonde]

Anyone else

want to get something off their chest?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Gegogi]

"Gegogi how could you fall

in love? I think this girl was using you, either for a better grade or to end some boredom at home or for money. She

never had the same feelings that you had/wanted so now you want to portray her as a wild woman (typical). I think

she got bored with you and made up a story about telling her husband to end the relationship with you."


She's smart and an A student. Plus she has more money than me (that's a long story). She needs sex 3 or 4 times a

day so not many men will tickle her pickle for long. As for being wild, she was my greatest sexual fantasies come

true, so that's wild enough for me. Unfortunately, I know what I've beed missing all these years. I didn't

consider she may have lied about telling her husband to get rid of me... Sheesh, now I have to apologize to him in

order to know the truth. :smite:
As far as falling in love, I've always been a sucker for love and a pretty

face. Maybe it's male menopause but the old emotions are really easy to set off these days.

[MOBLEYC57]

MobleyC57:
In your situations 1) you were young and, 2) I'm assuming you did not know the

woman (notice I didn't write lady) was married. After all, this is a 50 year old (supposedly professional) man, who

should have known better.
Tis true, I was young, but I typed all that forgetting to type that the

experience taught me that friends are more valuable than that out-of- body orgasm, and DEFINITELY NOT worth it!

:blink:

Yes, I knew she was married, and didn't care about feasting on someone else's property at the time, I

no longer entertain the thought of pleasuring married women, 'cause two or three things are going to happen ... (1)

What G got ... she tells, (2) You're pleasuring someone that fooling around is normal practice, and that to me,

would not do anything for my ego. In my 20's is was about numbers, now, tis about pride, and I couldn't be proud

of being with someone that's been/trying to get with everyone in her zip code! (3) You get hurt or killed. I don't

think there's nothing fun about watching your back on a daily basis! :rant:

Even I, owner of one, find it

amazing how one's way of thinking/morals leaves them once that noodle is engorged with blood. :frustrate I have a

firm grip on the sit-chation when it tries to lead, and I make the decisions no matter how hard it may get, but ....

everyone can't do that! :thumbsup:

And G, the lie part makes sense. Excuse me for saying, but you know a woman

is not really going to give up the money if given a choice. :blink: If she did get tired or bored with you, don't

take it personally, it happens in most relationships, and it's not you, it really is her (her way of doing

things).

[Pancho1188]

Silver,



Good advice.

Pancho,

No hostility intended. Sorry about the way it came across. I didn't read your first

comment the way you intended it and that's probably my own fault as well. While I am monitoring the forum and

commenting here and there I am in the middle of reconfiguring my network to take advantage of VOIP. My time on the

forum has been split between downing and configuring servers and routers. As a result I am not paying as much

attention as I should.

That said, years ago I did something similar while on a business trip. The exact details

aren't important. When I got home I went to visit a friend, a semi-retired priest, thinking to spill my guts and

assauge my own guilt. His answer to me went something like this "Regardless of what she did, you violated the

sanctity of their marraige. Yes, she may have done the same with somebody else had you not been there. That doesn't

change the basic facts of your actions. You and you alone are responsible for those. You and she share the guilt

equally." I am not condeming Gegogi, we are all human. His actions are still his responsibility. He's not scum, he

simply made a human mistake or what I consider a mistake. Others would probably disagree with me but that's their

business, not mine.
I agree with you completely...I guess it's just how I interpret the words "blame" and

"fault" for being unfaithful because the only one with a responsibility to uphold marriage vows are the ones in the

marriage. It would be nice if others would respect them, and according to the church it is everyone's

responsibility to respect them. I would agree that it's morally right to respect it, but I do not think it's the

other person's "fault" that the husband/wife cheated. Does this make sense?

As Silver said, none of that

really matters, but I like to be technical when people bring up the subject of who's to 'blame' for infidelity.




The reason why I was so reluctant to start saying how wrong it is...is because I've been on that end of

infidelity...I was a teenager, so that might tell you something about my stupidity...but I've been in the position

and have not done it again and never expect to in the future (as if anyone ever does ;)). As the hypocrite I

occasionally find myself to be when it comes to applying who's responsible (always giving others the benefit while

blaming myself in the same situation), I completely blame myself in that situation because if it wasn't for me, it

wouldn't have happened. I know this like I know the grass is green. I was wrong, and I am a bad person for what I

did. I'll have to live with that. Fortunately, my sex drive, loneliness, youth, opportunity, etc. will never be

that strong again to do something so dumb. As much as I want to take it back, I never would because I learned from

it and I think I'm a better person now than I would've been otherwise (however dumb that may sound). Like I said,

I came across a similar situation later. Older, more mature, I did the smart thing and I kept my space. Sure, it

was a weak bf/gf relationship and not a marriage, but I learned the first time. She ended up breaking up with her

boyfriend and going out with me a few months later (after another bf...). I'm proud of that as much as I'm

ashamed of my earlier stupidity.

There, bjf, happy now? ;) :hammer:

[Pancho1188]

Gegogi

how could you fall in love?

Love isn't logical...I wish it was because then I would get over the little

crush I have now...or maybe I have the crush because it makes so much logical sense to me that I should be with this

person... :rofl:

Love and rationality don't go together...I wish they did because then everyone would want to

go out with me because I'm such a sweet guy... :kiss: ...ironically stated directly after my last posting...

:frustrate

[bjf]

There,

bjf, happy now? ;) :hammer:

Pancho, I know more about your life than I do mine :type: :lol:

[culturalblonde]

Sheesh, now

I have to apologize to him in order to know the truth.

I was being sarcastic; please don’t talk to

that man. You don’t know what kind of harm you might cause him. He may be mentally unstable and go berserk on you,

her or himself. Seriously, just ignore the girl at all costs. Eventually, her trifling ways will catch up with

her.

[Gegogi]

Yeah, I knew you were. My guts

are still twisting from the whole ordeal (I think I added afew more white hairs too) but I'm not ready to dive in

front of moving cars or taunt suddenly enraged husbands.

I guess I should wear SOE or Chikara to class

instead of TE. Incidentally, thanks folks for your comments, chastisements and support. Just writing about it made

me feel a little better. Plus I gained a fresh perspective on certain aspects. This ordeal isn't something I can

talk to colleagues or friends about, and holding it all in ain't that great. :thumbsup:

[Gegogi]

"I think she got bored

with you and made up a story about telling her husband to end the relationship with you."

Well

culturalblonde, I think you nailed it. She AIMed me tonight. After she yelled at me for being a dirtbag, I told her

I wanted to apologize to her husband. She said sure, he's right here, send him an IM. I said no, I want to do it in

person. She said to let it go as he forgave me already and is fine with everything. He trusts her to do the right

thing. Anyway, I deserved it for being such a dip.

[platinumfox]

Geogogi, I know what you are

going through I messed around with my neighbors wife for a while.Her husband and I were good friends and would have

me over for dinner alot.While eating dinner she would flirt with me by playing footsies with me under the table.This

happened alot and I gave into her advances and we got together and messed around.They had a daughter at the time now

the have a son.She started feeling guilty after a year and a half and told her husband I CAME ON TO HER?She was

trying to cover her guilty ass and of course hes going to believe her over and did.The guilt never goes away but it

does die down over time.You are better off without this devious woman if she cheats on her man than she would have

cheated on you.

[Darkman84]

Yes, it

takes two to tango. That makes them both wrong, immoral, scum of the earth, whatever you want to call it. As for

who's to blame for being unfaithful, it lies solely on the one who made the vow to be faithful in the first place.

That other man is not responsible for her marriage...although it would be nice if he was considerate enough to

respect that everlasting bond...
I'm sorry, but tha's it right there. Both are wrong, but as far as the

relationship is concerned, it can only be the fault of the person IN the relationship. Nothing against Bel or CB but

I think that says it all right there. (I have my morals and G is not innocent, when I consider that, but again

Pancho said it.)

[platinumfox]

I dont think you were in love

Geogogi it was lust.I thought I was in love too but looking back it was lust.The rush of sex,getting caught,etc.

makes you feel so GREAT and you think your are in love.