rascal334
11-02-2004, 01:12 AM
Here are some
actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance
crews.
Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced
left inside main tire."
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland
not installed on this aircraft."
Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Solution: "IT DOES
NOW."
Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in
cockpit."
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence
removed."
Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable
level."
Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."
Problem:
"Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on
ground."
Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
Problem:
"Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there
for."
Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief
search."
actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance
crews.
Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced
left inside main tire."
Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland
not installed on this aircraft."
Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Solution: "IT DOES
NOW."
Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in
cockpit."
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence
removed."
Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable
level."
Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."
Problem:
"Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on
ground."
Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
Problem:
"Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there
for."
Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief
search."