View Full Version : How to reverse the "I like you" mistake, guys make
DeMoKiLL
10-31-2004, 07:10 PM
Recently this girl that i've liked for a long time, I told her I liked her and obviously
she turned me down saying "im glad you will always be a good FRIEND to me". I read some articles by david and sloan
and now I know why. So just for fun I thought hrmm ill try something new. So since I come in contact with her a lot
everyday, I started just ignoring her like just not starting conversations with her, if she would say my name I
would act like I didn't hear it, if she asked a question I would keep it short leaving her question unanswered but
in a smooth way. After I started doing this I noticed she tries to get my attention now by calling my name etc. Am I
right in doing this? Is there anything else I can do to turn my mistake around and give me the upper hand?
The
one and only,
Demokill
culturalblonde
10-31-2004, 07:39 PM
I don't think you made a
mistake, you were being honest and that's a good quality. At least now, you know how she feels and she knows how
you feel.
From what I've read in this forum by others, I take it people want what they can't have. Do you
have any girl that you can be seen with while this girl is around? Although that's playing games, something I
despise, but it seems to work in some situations.
I always start off my relationships as friends. What gets
my attention when it comes to men is a great sense of humor. And I have to have something in common with the guy.
And one final note... Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
DeMoKiLL
10-31-2004, 07:47 PM
I don't
think you made a mistake, you were being honest and that's a good quality. At least now, you know how she feels and
she knows how you feel.
From what I've read in this forum by others, I take it people want what they can't
have. Do you have any girl that you can be seen with while this girl is around? Although that's playing games,
something I despise, but it seems to work in some situations.
I always start off my relationships as friends.
What gets my attention when it comes to men is a great sense of humor. And I have to have something in common with
the guy.
And one final note... Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Indeed your right about the hanging with another girl thing, I hang out with a lot of girls just as friends and I
had a girl shout I love you (name) (playfully, not serious) behind me and she heard it then later on she kept trying
to get my attention;-) but I wouldn't let her muahaha
DeMoKiLL
10-31-2004, 07:50 PM
What can I do to make her
attracted to me? Has anyone else read any of the archer sloan, david deangelo products, and had any success with
them? If so what did you do to make it work?
Gegogi
10-31-2004, 07:59 PM
Sheesh, I recently told a female
friend I liked her and she jumped my bones. On the other hand, I've confessed love to women I had a sexual
relationship with and they a) ran away as fast as they could or b) took advantage of my new found weakness. So,
there are no hard 'n fast rules in love 'n relationships. You gotta learn how to improvise for the moment at
hand.
DeMoKiLL
10-31-2004, 08:29 PM
Well this isn't a rare
example, she told me she is glad I will always be a good friend to her. What do I do to change "friend" into
boyfriend?
tounge
10-31-2004, 08:36 PM
I don't
think you made a mistake, you were being honest and that's a good quality. At least now, you know how she feels
and she knows how you feel.
From what I've read in this forum by others, I take it people want what they
can't have. Do you have any girl that you can be seen with while this girl is around? Although that's playing
games, something I despise, but it seems to work in some situations.
I always start off my relationships as
friends. What gets my attention when it comes to men is a great sense of humor. And I have to have something in
common with the guy.
And one final note... Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your
smile.
Blondie, you have made some great points. One of the best posts a women has
made around here. Short and to the point.
Too many of these youngsters are looking for magic answers.
They have been given much insight from many people that post here. It's up to them to discern the truth from the
BS, and put it into practice.
Gegogi
10-31-2004, 09:33 PM
"Well this isn't a rare
example, she told me she is glad I will always be a good friend to her. What do I do to change "friend" into
boyfriend?"
I'm not sure what you mean by "rare" example, but I've told many women I really liked them,
had a great friendship and later that friendship blossomed into something more. Not everyone is looking for true
love or going "steady." Lots of women, especially younger women, just want to have a good time, hang out and hop in
the sack from time to time. Being friends is one of the best ways to start. If you're meant to be together it will
happen. If not, you still have a friend and good times to remember. You can't do anything to force the situation.
Friendly1
10-31-2004, 09:43 PM
Well this
isn't a rare example, she told me she is glad I will always be a good friend to her. What do I do to change
"friend" into boyfriend?
You cannot "make" anyone feel anything. You can only give them reasons to feel
one way or another and then let them decide.
If you want to be viewed as boyfriend material, you have to act
like boyfriend material without seeming like you are only interested in that one person.
Ignoring her may help,
but you don't want to seem rude or petulant. Just be a calm, confident man who lives his own life.
She'll
either get the message and change her tune, or she won't. Your life shouldn't be ruined if she doesn't change
her mind.
Learn from this experience.
Friends can and do fall in love. It happens all the time. But the
more you try to make it happen, the less likely it will.
Snoopy
11-01-2004, 10:10 AM
Just be yourself around her, but
at the same time try and figure out which -mone combo works best on her. Girls dont like it when the only life you
have is chasing after them.
jollysnowdevil
11-01-2004, 10:26 PM
You
cannot "make" anyone feel anything. You can only give them reasons to feel one way or another and then let them
decide.
If you want to be viewed as boyfriend material, you have to act like boyfriend material without seeming
like you are only interested in that one person.
Ignoring her may help, but you don't want to seem rude or
petulant. Just be a calm, confident man who lives his own life.
She'll either get the message and change her
tune, or she won't. Your life shouldn't be ruined if she doesn't change her mind.
Learn from this
experience.
Friends can and do fall in love. It happens all the time. But the more you try to make it happen,
the less likely it will.
AMEN- ive had many good relationships with women who
started as friends. in fact the best loves of my life were friends. however keep in mind Sex does ruin
friendships.
maybe next time instead of saying "i like you" maybe give her a flower or something
like that. Actions speak louder than words sometimes. it could have been the way you said it.
if it
doesnt work out than oh well. its her loss
DeMoKiLL
11-02-2004, 07:42 PM
Im going to completely ignore
her for a week, she is like begging for my attention now I can feel the power! I was in class one day and she was
like don't forget to bring in food for the can food drive (name) all you need is 15 bla bla and I was like yea..
and I turned away and talked to someone else then shes like whats wrong? and then someone turns and shes like he
hates me now:-) Ill keep this going and maybe if I keep it up long enough she will want me so bad she will beg and
plead. muahaha the power! oh and by the way David DeAngelo RULES! He's funny and he boosts your level of confidence
that you never thought was possible.
Snoopy
11-02-2004, 07:56 PM
Im going to
completely ignore her for a week, she is like begging for my attention now I can feel the power! I was in class one
day and she was like don't forget to bring in food for the can food drive (name) all you need is 15 bla bla and I
was like yea.. and I turned away and talked to someone else then shes like whats wrong? and then someone turns and
shes like he hates me now:-) Ill keep this going and maybe if I keep it up long enough she will want me so bad she
will beg and plead. muahaha the power! oh and by the way David DeAngelo RULES! He's funny and he boosts your level
of confidence that you never thought was possible.
Just be careful that your plan doesn't backfire on
you. Given that situation, I'm not sure if I would completely ignore her... I would certainly avoid initiating any
conversations with her, but if she decides to talk to you, by all means try not to be a jerk! You should be in a
great mood, be overly happy, but don't drag the conversation on. End it sooner than she'd expect. Make her want to
become part of your life, not the other way around. Try not to have many moments with her, but the ones you DO have
with her, blow her out of her mind. Every time she thinks of you from then on, she will think only good things, THEN
she will be under your control.
DeMoKiLL
11-02-2004, 09:17 PM
ok ill tune it down a little
bit and pay a little bit more attention to her, see if the 4 days so far did anything:-D. Ill keep conversations to
a minimum and the ones that we do have will be strictly cut to relationship stuff, as stated in DYD, don't ever
have an intelligent conversation
huh? Your not supposed to have an
intelligent conversations? And isn't talking about relationships bad in his book?
TRock
11-02-2004, 09:58 PM
no you can have intelligent
conversation but not in demokill's current situation. but honestly demokill this is one-itis. you're best strategy
is to pick up other chicks preferably better looking than her and rub it in her face. or you might decide this new
chick is a better option for you.
Snoopy
11-02-2004, 11:02 PM
I agree with the one-itis. Just
keep her in the back of your mind and go on with the rest of your life... if something happens, it will happen, if
not, then that's why you've been looking for other targets!
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 04:40 AM
not intelligent, intellectual,
I ran out of time to make that correction.
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 04:42 AM
so what should I do, should I
talk to her and try to act like ill listen but not really interested or should I just like ignore her until she does
something?
MOBLEYC57
11-03-2004, 05:14 AM
so what should I
do, should I talk to her and try to act like ill listen but not really interested or should I just like ignore her
until she does something?:type: Ignore her until she does something, kill her with charm, and once the
conversation breaks, go back to ignoring her again. As with everything else, there are exceptions to just about
everything. Like jealousy, people get so caught up in making someone jealous that they overlook/block out the other
result ... it either brings them back, ORRRRRR it pushes them away forever. Is she worth the risk of
losing? If the answer is yes, have fun, and continue playing. :wave: And always remember, the next one that
walks onto your most desired list, maybe somewhere near, watching you, while you're being a jerk to this girl (or
her friends), so, be a good jerk, and understand that if she's not laughing while you're at it, you're not doing
too well. :run:
canivaro
11-03-2004, 08:34 AM
wow. mobley, that was like the
TIP OF THE MONTH! im sirius mon.
:cheers:
phersurf
11-03-2004, 10:53 AM
Deangelo says once you're in
LJBF land to move on. You can turn the situation around, but it takes a lot of work. There are many more women out
there.
It sounds like you're putting too much importance on a particular outcome with women. That
immediately puts her in the position of power because she is the one doing the chosing.
Don't ignore her,
bust her balls in a funny way, demonstrate that you could care less if she's interested in you or not. Date other
women. If she sees that you have a life and are in demand, her opinion might change and she might move you from the
LJBF part of her brain into the "possible mate" part. But if you're dating other women, you may not care if this
particular one goes out with you or not.
One-itis, as others already said.
Go on with your life, she'll notice and eventually miss your attentions, or maybe not, so who cares, you'll be
going out with other women by that time won't you? :)
Yoel
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 12:20 PM
it is a one-itis, ill be
willing to put in the work to turn it around but like today she didn't say anything she just whispered to a guy and
told him that I was mad at her then he like asked me, I just played it off and said ill tell you some other time, he
asked me again I said it doesn't matter, forget about it, and he didn't ask me again.
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 12:23 PM
What should I do, should I keep
ignoring her until she tries to get my attention in a drastic way and then all the meantime hang out with other
girls? Or should I start talking to her again forgetting about her making a move?
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 12:27 PM
:type: Ignore
her until she does something, kill her with charm, and once the conversation breaks, go back to ignoring her again.
As with everything else, there are exceptions to just about everything. Like jealousy, people get so caught up in
making someone jealous that they overlook/block out the other result ... it either brings them back, ORRRRRR
it pushes them away forever. Is she worth the risk of losing? If the answer is yes, have fun, and
continue playing. :wave: And always remember, the next one that walks onto your most desired list, maybe somewhere
near, watching you, while you're being a jerk to this girl (or her friends), so, be a good jerk, and understand
that if she's not laughing while you're at it, you're not doing too well. :run: No not worth losing,
first girl i've actually seen that was worth my time in a long while. But, despite the fact that shes probably one
of the best i've seen so far, ill just forget about it, ill keep playing and just see what happens for fun.
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 12:30 PM
How should I answer why im
"mad" at her?
What a lackey that guy :D
You
should have delivered a quick line at him, nothing comes to my mind now, the opportunity is gone anyway.
I
don't think you should ignore her, you should be more on the lines of "being aloof". I'm in a rush now but if you
post her behaviour, how she is responding to your last actions, we could sure help.
Yoel
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 12:36 PM
dunn worry he wasn't with the
girl she was gone when she asked but he has respect for me so its all good
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 12:37 PM
how should I turn from
completely ignoring to being aloof?
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 12:50 PM
and what SHOULD I say to change
how she thinks about me, and to remove my status of being mad to being attractive
Bruce
11-03-2004, 12:59 PM
OK, I'll throw in my 2 cents worth
here. Rather than say vague stuff like "I like you" which can be taken as "Jeez, I sure am one lonely MF", say
stuff like "Hey, you got your hair cut; looks great!" or "Very nice dress" or whatever. The trick is being "real"
spontaneous etc etc. If you do it right, you can really give the girl a buzz without sticking you neck out in the
least. You remain a mystery. Maybe you are already in a commited relationship. You are just letting the gal know
you notice and appreciate her without saying you *need* her for some agenda of your own. You have to be cool about
it though. If you hang around waiting for her to "respond" to your "technique", you blow the whole thing. The key
is to "appreciate" rather than "need". Same goes with being helpful. If it is obvious you just want some nooky and
are not really a naturally helpful guy, you might just as well tell her how lonely and horny you are.
B
Snoopy
11-03-2004, 01:00 PM
I don't think there's anything
you can SAY to completely brain wash her into being attracted to you. You've listened to David DeAngelo, have you
not? The words are a mere 7% of the total communication expressed. Hopefully you haven't made her too upset by
"ignoring" her. I think you should just drop that act and be who you normally are around school - with one
exception: don't initiate any conversations with her. Wait for HER to do it. I've tried the ignoring thing before
when I was in high-school, and when I had one-itis over this one girl. I liked the "attention" I was receiving, but
believe me, I didn't figure out until later that it was the bad kind of attention... and not the good. If you keep
this up, you'll be labelled as "too moody" for her - that's what happened to me, and it's taken me 2 years to rid
myself of that label (I'm still friends with her).
On a side note.. if you could maybe group your posts into 1
big one, would save us a lot of trouble having to keep scrolling down to read more! Thanks :)
DeMoKiLL, I
suggest you re-read David DeAngelo's stuff, and always remember, YOU have the edge because YOU have the -mones
working for you - combine those along with the you that made her friends with you in the first place, and you can't
go wrong. There's no quick fix to anything.
CptKipling
11-03-2004, 01:01 PM
How should I
answer why im "mad" at her?
Something allong the lines of telling her she is being silly and reading too
much into things. Don't break the tension by acting nicey-nice all of a sudden though.
Act aloof by talking to
her, but only in a very casual way. So talk back when she talks to you, but keep your outward enthusiasm about
talking to her to a relatively low level (so cut things short). You can initiate conversations aswell, but stay
casual and don't get gushy. Don't be rude, and be funny and make jokes around her (take the piss out of her
slightly aswell).
Easy enough? ;)
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 01:09 PM
alright, but idk when she did
talk to me I kind of just acted like I was ignoring her, so calling her silly may be a bit weird because it was
obvious. Oh well ill try it, after a while in my life, I don't really care what happens or not. She just is that
special one to me, more for her personality then her looks. But hey she is good looking so she has a lot of guys
going for her as well so I have to do something that makes me above them.
CptKipling
11-03-2004, 02:25 PM
(I just read a previous post
properly)
Don't give her the explanation out of the blue, only offer it if she asks.
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 02:45 PM
ok I have another plan, would
this work out? Im going to say you know that time way back when I said I liked you, well I was just joking, I hope
you didn't take it seriously, I only want to be friends. I have my sights set on a few other girls. After listening
to more david deangelo I concluded that, that would be the best thing to say because it would make me look more
selective by basically saying, you can't have me that way (making her want it even more). Do you agree this would
turn the whole thing around and put me in the seat of power?
BassMan
11-03-2004, 02:48 PM
ok I have another
plan, would this work out? Im going to say you know that time way back when I said I liked you, well I was just
joking, I hope you didn't take it seriously, I only want to be friends. I have my sights set on a few other girls.
After listening to more david deangelo I concluded that, that would be the best thing to say because it would make
me look more selective by basically saying, you can't have me that way (making her want it even more). Do you agree
this would turn the whole thing around and put me in the seat of power?I think it would sound rather
contrived, myself.
-Bass
I think it would sound
rather contrived, myself.
-Bass
So do I, but I still want to see what would happen.
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 02:52 PM
yea if she asks why I did it
ill say I was just messing around and held it on for so long to see what she would do
Gegogi
11-03-2004, 02:58 PM
If you do that, you'll probably
be plugged as insincere and a liar and that will be that.
CptKipling
11-03-2004, 03:16 PM
Yeah, actions speak louder than
words.
Don't tell her your not gushy, show her.
TRock
11-03-2004, 03:35 PM
ok I have another
plan, would this work out? Im going to say you know that time way back when I said I liked you, well I was just
joking, I hope you didn't take it seriously, I only want to be friends. I have my sights set on a few other girls.
After listening to more david deangelo I concluded that, that would be the best thing to say because it would make
me look more selective by basically saying, you can't have me that way (making her want it even more). Do you agree
this would turn the whole thing around and put me in the seat of power?
don't do that. just accept
what you did as a man. making excuses will make you look like aweirdo to her. play aloof and make it look like
she's seeing too much into things.
Snoopy
11-03-2004, 03:45 PM
Friendly1's sticky comes to mind
when reading this
thread:
http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1131
9 (http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11319)
The "I was just joking" excuse is
soo lame, you could as well take an indelible marker and write 'wussy' all over your face. Did you really listen
to DYD? I'd take another look at it if I were you. And you being you, you should. :D
By the way, you
pretty much messed up when you started ignoring her, this would be the final kick in the nuts.
Captain explained
the exact meaning of "being aloof". Moreover, if she goes wtf, why did you ignore me yesterday (your fault :P), just
turn it around. "Why, I didn't think you'd care that much. Are you saying you're in love with me? Because,
that's a shame, you pretty much killed your chances with me."
Yoel
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 03:51 PM
confidence isn't really apart
of it, I have as much confidence as I need, I can pretty much go up to any girl and make a move, im not afraid of it
AT ALL. This is different.
Snoopy
11-03-2004, 03:53 PM
If you don't get yourself
together, the situation will just get worse. It's about 10 times easier to dig a hole for yourself than to get out,
and from the looks of it you just keep digging and digging. So stop. Take a break. Go enjoy your other hobbies for a
while and try not to think about her for a few days. Then, when you do come back to think about her, try to see what
YOU are like from HER eyes, or at least from a perspective other than your own. Sometimes mixing up reality with
what you think is all it takes to ruin something good.
Snoopy
11-03-2004, 03:54 PM
confidence isn't
really apart of it, I have as much confidence as I need, I can pretty much go up to any girl and make a move, im not
afraid of it AT ALL. This is different.
This is one-itis.
Pancho1188
11-03-2004, 03:54 PM
ok I have
another plan, would this work out? Im going to say you know that time way back when I said I liked you, well I was
just joking, I hope you didn't take it seriously, I only want to be friends. I have my sights set on a few other
girls. After listening to more david deangelo I concluded that, that would be the best thing to say because it would
make me look more selective by basically saying, you can't have me that way (making her want it even more). Do you
agree this would turn the whole thing around and put me in the seat of power?
You'll totally look like a
tool. I wouldn't buy that for a second. Just let it go, man... (the comment, that is) Just the fact that you
brought it up again shows that you care. Think about it. I've jokingly told people I had a crush on them, and I
never mentioned it again because I was, in fact, joking. Of course, they knew I was...but I wouldn't have
mentioned it again even if they didn't. Why? I didn't really like them...
I hope you take a moment to
process that. If you take the time to bring up the subject, it shows you care about the subject.
If you want to
show disinterest in her, you could go to her with girl advice for other women. The problem: you must
actually have a girl problem to go to them with. People will see through a 'made-up' situation. Think about all
of those movies where they say, "I have this friend...I like her but don't know what to do," you'll sound like
you're talking about her or something. Problem #2: If you like her and are solely talking to her for advice to get
to her, it will kill you inside if she's so enthusiastic and helpful instead of your hopeful reaction of held-back
jealousy.
I don't like to be negative and take down your hopes, man, but your best bet is to be a friend and
move on to other people. You can't change her mind over night, so the only way you're going to prove her
otherwise is to have her realize that you are the one she should want. Now, the problem I have is that I
can't do that. If I cross the line into really liking someone, I can't go back and be okay. I had the patience
once to live with my feelings while being friends and got the girl after 5 months, but it drove me insane for
that time (funny how it was worth it when it actually happened). I'm in a similar situation right now, and since I
don't want to go through what I did before, I'm trying to just get away from it. Unfortunately, I can't...so
I'm making the best of it. I wish you better luck than me, man, but your best bet is to move on to other things
and maybe she'll change her mind.
MOBLEYC57
11-03-2004, 03:55 PM
yea if she asks
why I did it ill say I was just messing around and held it on for so long to see what she would
doTRANSLATION 1: I like playing with people I care about heads. :rant:
TRANSLATION of TRANSLATION 1: If
you're into people playing games with your head, I'm your man!:thumbsup:
You'd come out better by just
saying, "I don't know." :frustrate It will make you look stupid, but it keeps you from putting your foot in your
mouth! :thumbsup:
Either or ......................................... LOSER! :twisted:
Indigo
11-03-2004, 03:58 PM
alright, but idk
when she did talk to me I kind of just acted like I was ignoring her, so calling her silly may be a bit weird
because it was obvious. Oh well ill try it, after a while in my life, I don't really care what happens or not. She
just is that special one to me, more for her personality then her looks. But hey she is good looking so she has a
lot of guys going for her as well so I have to do something that makes me above them.
Hello DeMoKiLL,
well, as I am likely one of the less successfull members regarding woman, I won't give you any advice ( you would
probably not benefit too much adhering it ) but here is what I think and believe:
Stop playing Games !!!!!!!
( not meant offensive )
If I got it right you have known her for a relatively long time. You learned to
appreciate her personality and began to feel more than just friendship and physical attraction for her. You showed
your feeling ( perhaps in an too friendshiplike way ? ), told her about it and she turned you down. I don't know if
she was bad to you in other ways or if she turned you down in an inappropriate, rude or insulting way, but I guess
you would have told us. So taking all that, it must have been hard for you, but nothing someone could blame your
friend for.
It is absolutely understandable and ok that you feel kind of pissed of at times and it is also ok when
you don't hide it from her. But.... stop gaming!
I know honesty, integrity and respect are qualities that help to
keep relationships alive and make them longlasting and fortunate, but only in rare cases they cause people to fall
in love.
You both are far from the usual firs steps of superficial flirting and playing games ( which is good and
funny, it simply belongs to human mating rituals ). But your relationship is already deeper, so many of the things
you should take into account when getting to know a new interesting girl does not apply to your problem.
Stop
acting in certain ways for tactical reasons! Be yourself! If you feel hurt by her.. show it ( or to put it in better
words ... don't hide it). You really like her, so if you do feel like beeing friendly and charming to her or
whatever ... damn... than do it !!!! There has to be room for that honesty, more than ever regarding that you have
known her for more than just a few weeks!!Integrity, sincerity and honesty does not show through what you say but
how you say it and with which intention you said it.
If she is really worth it she will recognize your value (
perhaps as a boyfriend, perhaps "only" as a close, trustworthy friend ). She definitely likes you! The whispering to
the other guy, that you would be mad at her, and trying to get your attention seeing you ignoring her clearly show
that she is caring.
Only god knows what more might be behind it, but if you want to get going a decent
relationship with the potential of lasting more than a few month ( and most of what you wrote in this thread tell me
you want more ) the only way to get that from this ( or another ) girl is to be sincere. It was not her fault that
she didn't fall in love until now ( perhaps it will happpen ), so if there is nothing else what she did wrong in
your opinion, you should apologize. I don't say that you have to tell her the whole truth about your reasons fro
beeing mad at her. Telling her of having been in a bad mood for whatever reason would not be a lie. She will
understand it ( if she feels that you are sincere and not playing stupid games and tactics ). Perhaps you could even
tell her the whole story. But I think even these two examples of what to say to her are nothing you
need.
You are the onlyperson who knows what is the right thing to do. Listen to your instinct and your
feelings when you are with her. Be open to the signals and trust yourself, then you will know what to say and how
to say it!
If your "special one" has the emotional potential of falling in love with you ( not your tactics and
sayings but you and what you are ), she will do it. But therefor you have to be you at first and show her
your potential, beeing reliabel and sincere! If she has not that potential, then nothing in the world will change
it.
Perhaps clever seducing tactics, body language and certain behaviour ( you got more than enough advice about
that ) will be more successfull. But eventually you want someone feeling appealed to your deeper personality ( which
is the second step after first datings and the more superficial attraction, but as I said, IMO you are simply beyond
that with her) and not your seducing tactics, even if they work.
If she is really your "special one" you will be
successfull and if not :
You can stand up every morning, look into the mirror and think " I fell in love with
this girl, I was myself and didn't hide it. I did the right things and I did what I believed in. She didn't return
my feeling... ok things like that happen... it's hard but I will go on and find my real " special one" ! "
You
can only grow from that experience !!!!
No person in the world, especially not your special one, is worth betraying
or humiliating yourself.
And there is definitely no need to do it!
Good luck and make the best out of it for
you !
Indigo
P.S. Sorry for all the aspic, but I am really that naive !
Pancho1188
11-03-2004, 04:03 PM
Moreover, if she
goes wtf, why did you ignore me yesterday (your fault :P), just turn it around. "Why, I didn't think you'd care
that much. Are you saying you're in love with me? Because, that's a shame, you pretty much killed your chances
with me."I hope people remember that indifferent people won't care if they 'lost' their chances and will
laugh in your face if you accuse them of liking you. I know because I just did it as a joke once and regretted it
immensely shortly afterwards after I got the equivalent of a rejection and didn't even mean it.
-I think you
have a secret admirer.
--(sarcastically) I think you're just projecting. *Laughs*
-What?
--You don't know what
'projecting' is? It's a psychology term. I'll explain it, but remember that I'm just joking. Do not take it
seriously. *Explains projection* (Note: projection is when you project your feelings onto someone else, e.g. saying
someone likes a person when in reality you do)
-*Blushes and Laughs* No, someone likes you and I can guarantee you
it is not me. Sorry, buddy.
--*sigh* (I was just joking...didn't I say that twice because I know you take
things seriously?)
Oh, and about the "I'm all into
her personality" thing, that's bullshit, you're walking with blinders on! Risen from thy throne of discontent and
go approach some other women NOW! I command you!
I just set you free. Am I the best buddy or what? :D
Yoel
I hope people
remember that indifferent people won't care if they 'lost' their chances and will laugh in your face if you
accuse them of liking you. I know because I just did it as a joke once and regretted it immensely shortly afterwards
after I got the equivalent of a rejection and didn't even mean it.
-I think you have a secret admirer.
--(sarcastically) I think you're just projecting. *Laughs*
-What?
--*Explains projection* (Note: projection
is when you project your feelings onto someone else, e.g. saying someone likes a person when in reality you do)
-*Blushes and Laughs* No, someone likes you and I can guarantee you it is not me. Sorry, buddy.
...and I was just joking... Well, I'd say that happened for two (2) reasons. Let me explain:
reason number 1) you laughed...who ever laughs at his own jokes? come on :)
and reason number 2) when you have to
"explain" a joke it gets boring altogether, you should have replied something on he lines of 'Oh, I get it: you're
in denial now" and then turn away leaving her wondering :D
Yoel
PS: I forgot the most important note:
in my suggestion he says "but you can't have me" before she actually has a chance to understand what's going on,
while you gave her plenty of time (explaining it too), like you were expecting some sort of response. While in my
example (yeah, I know, I should buy a thesaurus) he just assumes it, which is funny if delivered well.
Snoopy
11-03-2004, 04:09 PM
I hope people
remember that indifferent people won't care if they 'lost' their chances and will laugh in your face if you
accuse them of liking you. I know because I just did it as a joke once and regretted it immensely shortly afterwards
after I got the equivalent of a rejection and didn't even mean it.
-I think you have a secret
admirer.
--(sarcastically) I think you're just projecting. *Laughs*
-What?
--*Explains projection* (Note:
projection is when you project your feelings onto someone else, e.g. saying someone likes a person when in reality
you do)
-*Blushes and Laughs* No, someone likes you and I can guarantee you it is not me. Sorry, buddy.
...and I was just joking...
I've been rejected like that a couple times. It wasn't really fun.. since
I was joking with the person I actually liked .. lol
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 04:09 PM
Oh, and about the
"I'm all into her personality" thing, that's bullshit, you're walking with blinders on! Risen from thy throne of
discontent and go approach some other women NOW! I command you!
I just set you free. Am I the best buddy or
what? :D
Yoel Actually I am, and have yet to find someone who can even compare.
Actually I am, and
have yet to find someone who can even compare. Ok now free your mind. Think about the sea, the forest,
smurfs or whatever. Then think about her personality. I mean HER personality, not what feelings she gives you. Now,
how is it so much better than everything else? I'll go out on a limb here and say you're idolizing her. And now
I'll go back inside cause people is looking at me and pointing.
Yoel
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 04:22 PM
Ok, this will be the last
thread ill make before I actually do it which should I do? Should I say I don't know what she is talking about and
act aloof or should I say she was treating me like dirt so I didn't want any of that? I know how to keep her and
how to do everything afterwards but what should I say in response to her saying im angry with her?
Ok, this will be
the last thread ill make before I actually do it which should I do? Should I say I don't know what she is talking
about and act aloof or should I say she was treating me like dirt so I didn't want any of that? I know how to keep
her and how to do everything afterwards but what should I say in response to her saying im angry with her?
Ok, I'll keep it short and to the point:
Don't go for the dirt comment, cause you'll sound like a little
bitchy baby.
I'm sorry, but i can't really suggest you what words to use, since I'm not sure I understood what
was your reaction...was it like, she came and tried to talk to you and you looked elsewhere and said 'is that a
mosquito buzz I'm hearing'? Cause that sounds almost surreal to me.
Yoel
PS: how old were you two
again anyways?
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 04:37 PM
Ok, I'll keep it
short and to the point:
Don't go for the dirt comment, cause you'll sound like a little bitchy baby.
I'm
sorry, but i can't really suggest you what words to use, since I'm not sure I understood what was your
reaction...was it like, she came and tried to talk to you and you looked elsewhere and said 'is that a mosquito
buzz I'm hearing'? Cause that sounds almost surreal to me.
Yoel
PS: how old were you two again
anyways? hahahahah, Ok, I am in marching band and I sat in the bleachers for a competition (which we made
1st place in) and I was like laughing and just joking around, there was a girl that was like a couple steps up like
saying "we love you" I was having a great old time just laughing talking with my friend next to me, and she was like
a few seats away from me and she like saw me having like a great time, and I wasn't paying any attention to her
(but why should I?). And then on the bus home she kept trying to say hi to me, and I just looked at her and went
back to what I was doing. Then in class I think she wanted to get my attention so she just started talking to me
even though she was at the other side of the room and is like are you mad at me. Then the next day she asks the guy
etc. I didn't really make it seem like I was doing it to be mean or anything like by saying 'is that a mosquito
buzz I'm hearing?'.
Indigo
11-03-2004, 04:38 PM
Tell her the truth!
If
you felt like getting treated like dirt than tell her!
Pretending not to know what she is talking about ...:nono:
She is not stupid and know that you are lying.
I don't think that will do any good !
Pancho1188
11-03-2004, 04:43 PM
Well, I'd say
that happened for two (2) reasons. Let me explain:
reason number 1) you laughed...who ever laughs at his own jokes?
come on :)
and reason number 2) when you have to "explain" a joke it gets boring altogether, you should have
replied something on he lines of 'Oh, I get it: you're in denial now" and then turn away leaving her wondering
:D
Yoel
PS: I forgot the most important note: in my suggestion he says "but you can't have me" before she
actually has a chance to understand what's going on, while you gave her plenty of time (explaining it too), like
you were expecting some sort of response. While in my example (yeah, I know, I should buy a thesaurus) he just
assumes it, which is funny if delivered well.
By laughing I don't mean I broke into a fit...I just showed
that I was joking. People who make jokes with serious expressions confuse the listener.
Indigo,
I get your "tell the
truth" ideal, but sometimes it's not necessary. By that I mean, it would be unnecessarily harsh and would cause
really unpleasant moments in the future. Besides, we are not trying to make him lie, just not open his mind
entirely.
Back to the topic:
looks like it's not a big deal after all, you were exaggerating it a bit,
good for you. So it was only a day, just tell her you were not in the mood of socializing and then play aloof.
Yoel
PS@Pancho: ok man, I figured that, it was an half-tease :D
The important part is in the PS, just
like here! The coincidences in life uh? :)
Pancho1188
11-03-2004, 04:48 PM
A simple "Yes" or "No" would
suffice.
-Are you mad at me?
--No.
There, that works. ;)
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 04:49 PM
:-D and just to make her want
me more I sort of put my pencil through this girls hair just playing around, the girl didn't notice but I knew the
girl I like would. And I also hang out with a lot of girls as mostly "friends".
A simple "Yes" or
"No" would suffice.
-Are you mad at me?
--No.
There, that works. ;) Yep. I meant that too.
Just tell her my excuse if she demands it.
Yoel
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 04:50 PM
A simple
"Yes" or "No" would suffice.
-Are you mad at me?
--No.
There, that works. ;) Your a genius
pancho! :LOL:
No, it works for real. It tells all
the right things. Like she's overanalyzing and you just are living normally. Oh, and say it looking like 'why are
you asking me that'.
Yoel
PS: I'm leaving now. I hope you survive to report :D
SweetBrenda
11-03-2004, 04:52 PM
The more insecure a person
feels about where he/she stands with you the more vulnerable they will be to your romantic advances and the more
intensely they will desire you..
DeMoKiLL
11-03-2004, 04:59 PM
The more
insecure a person feels about where he/she stands with you the more vulnerable they will be to your romantic
advances and the more intensely they will desire you..'
And saying no will make her confused as to if I
really like her or not and will probably trigger that
SweetBrenda
11-03-2004, 05:03 PM
'
And
saying no will make her confused as to if I really like her or not and will probably trigger
that*Grin*
Well my friend,,you gotta do what you gotta do,,right?
Good Luck! really.
SB
DeMoKiLL
11-04-2004, 01:15 PM
k, she passed me in the hallway
I made eye contact then turned away and looked again as she said hi. Then in class she was like why are you mad at
me? I said, im not. Then she is like why are you ignoring me, I said I wasn't and she was like im sorry if im not
as funny as the other people you talk to instead of me(something like that) and she walked away. Then didn't talk
to her again the whole period. I'll do the aloof thing for a while and she will probably become attracted to me,
because I feel like she is a little right now, not a lot but a little.
oh and btw- I was talking to my friend
about the girl how I started ignoring her and how she is just a pain in the ass. And my friend is like I agree and
the girl is like "You guys are assholes" not in meanful way like with the omfg you didn't just say that way. Then
she like started talking to me and like messed with her hair. David DeAngelo is so right, act like an asshole (to an
extent) and girls will be attracted to you, or act like a wussy be nice, then find you boring and leave you for
someone else.
Indigo
11-04-2004, 03:48 PM
k, she passed me
in the hallway I made eye contact then turned away and looked again as she said hi. Then in class she was like why
are you mad at me? I said, im not. Then she is like why are you ignoring me, I said I wasn't and she was like im
sorry if im not as funny as the other people you talk to instead of me (something like that) and she walked away.
Then didn't talk to her again the whole period. OmG, have a look: She cares and she feels bad seeing your
bahaviour ! That is obvious!
If you continue that stupid tactics a few days more you will get the opposite of what
you intended:
you will loose her, as a friend and as a potential partner! For the case she starts having feeling
for you because of your ignorance:
Could you respect a woman ( respectively your relationship with her ), who only
felt appealed by you behaving like a stupid asshole ????????????????
TRock
11-04-2004, 04:10 PM
OmG, have a look:
She cares and she feels bad seeing your bahaviour ! That is obvious!
If you continue that stupid tactics a few days
more you will get the opposite of what you intended:
you will loose her, as a friend and as a potential partner!
For the case she starts having feeling for you because of your ignorance:
Could you respect a woman ( respectively
your relationship with her ), who only felt appealed by you behaving like a stupid asshole
????????????????hey if he loses her, it's her lost not his. he gives women the oppurtunity to show if they
have good taste or not.
these aren't tactics. these actions reflect the new man that he is becoming. a real man
who acts on whatever he feels.
Indigo
11-04-2004, 05:08 PM
hey if he loses her,
it's her lost not his. he gives women the oppurtunity to show if they have good taste or not.
these aren't
tactics. these actions reflect the new man that he is becoming. a real man who acts on whatever he
feels.Regarding your fist statement, I absolutely agree! Regarding your second:
It is tactics. It would
not be tactics, if he would act naturally, if his ignorance would be because of feeling pissed of. Maybe be that was
the case at the beginning but actually he semms to do what he does because of auer advice, Archer Sloan and
whoever's texts he reads. That is tactics.
Sorry DeMoKill, it is inpolite to talk to others about
someone who is actually present. So I will talk to you:
As I said, if you feel bad because of her, don't
hesitate or feel afraid to show it! But don't behave bad just because you suppose it could be a good thing
to do. That would be the wrong reason.
You appreciate her character and personality ( concluding that from what you
said before ), so show her the respect she deserves ( in your own opinion ). What you actually do doesn't seem to
be very respectful. Does she deserve that ????? ( Not meant sarcastically, it's up to you to decide ).
If not,
than behave like you really fell in the situation beeing with her ( no matter if it is good or bad ). Be honest to
yourself! Show her the respect you would expect from her! How can you demand something from a person if even you are
not ready to give that ????
And if she lets you down than and nothing more will happen between you... then
and only then TRock is absolutely right: then it will be her lost and you can relax and look for another girl
!!!
DeMoKiLL
11-04-2004, 07:43 PM
Regarding your
fist statement, I absolutely agree! Regarding your second:
It is tactics. It would not be tactics, if he
would act naturally, if his ignorance would be because of feeling pissed of. Maybe be that was the case at the
beginning but actually he semms to do what he does because of auer advice, Archer Sloan and whoever's texts he
reads. That is tactics.
Sorry DeMoKill, it is inpolite to talk to others about someone who is
actually present. So I will talk to you:
As I said, if you feel bad because of her, don't hesitate or feel
afraid to show it! But don't behave bad just because you suppose it could be a good thing to do. That would
be the wrong reason.
You appreciate her character and personality ( concluding that from what you said before ),
so show her the respect she deserves ( in your own opinion ). What you actually do doesn't seem to be very
respectful. Does she deserve that ????? ( Not meant sarcastically, it's up to you to decide ).
If not, than
behave like you really fell in the situation beeing with her ( no matter if it is good or bad ). Be honest to
yourself! Show her the respect you would expect from her! How can you demand something from a person if even you are
not ready to give that ????
And if she lets you down than and nothing more will happen between you... then
and only then TRock is absolutely right: then it will be her lost and you can relax and look for another girl
!!! Its all about HER showing ME the respect not about ME showing HER. And in relationships SOMETIMES its
good not to be very respectful. You have to remember, to make people like you, you have to remind them that it is
YOUR reality as david deangelo states and when they try to cross you over into theirs you have to give them a little
wake up call. Everything you are saying is the "logical" way to do things, and with relationships "logical" isn't
always the best. Here ill throw an example your way, if women like nice guys, then how come there are a lot of wife
abusers around, and how come girls break up with guys who cling onto them, being too nice? Sure, you don't want to
be a total asshole you just have to make yourself be the selective one, and not be the person being selected,
because if you make her feel like she has the power to dump you at any given moment, she eventually will. You have
to establish that you will be setting the rules and she may be the one who gets dumped. Just listen to some deangelo
stuff, then TRY it in real life. You will see that it works, and it will change the way you look at things, how some
things seem right but they really aren't.
Gegogi
11-04-2004, 08:36 PM
"Its all about HER showing
ME the respect not about ME showing HER. You have to remember, to make people like you, you have to remind them that
it is YOUR reality..."
God, I hope she never reads this thread as she'll ran as fast and far as
possible. Respect, like trust, is something you earn over time. Sheesh, trying to "make people like you" is a waste
of time. If they don't like you for who you are, get over it and find someone that appreciates your unique
qualities and individuality. Your life will be simpler, less stressful and consequently more enjoyable.
TRock
11-04-2004, 11:08 PM
God, I hope she
never reads this thread as she'll ran as fast and far as possible. Respect, like trust, is something you earn over
time. Sheesh, trying to "make people like you" is a waste of time. If they don't like you for who you are, get over
it and find someone that appreciates your unique qualities and individuality. Your life will be simpler, less
stressful and consequently more enjoyable.
i'm with Demo on this one. having a woman like you for who you
are is the worst advice a guy can get. throughout evolution women's brains have been form to like certain types of
men. they make decisions about the men they like through their primitive brain versus their conscious brain. the
primitive brain override the concious rational brain. learn to control the primitive brain and you will control her.
the primitive brain also overrides the rational brain. now you can be yourself if you're the type of guy that
stimulates her rational brain, if not than welcome to beta land and feed off the alpha's scraps.
remember the
saying "nice guys finish last". ever notice girls that say they're only attracted to assholes.
Gegogi
11-04-2004, 11:44 PM
Of course, if we're merely
talking about scoring nookie or snagging a trophy girlfriend and not an intimate relationship, you're right.
Nevertheless, all the women in my life like me for who I am and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yeah, I'm a
sensitive artist, mellow metromale, breeding heart liberal and most women love me for it. Anyone that thinks they
can foster a relationship based on deception and insincerely hasn't a clue about intimacy between a man and woman.
Sadly, they will never experience true intimacy and the joys herein.
TRock
11-05-2004, 12:00 AM
there is no deception and
insincerity, you can't deceive and be insincere when that becomes your personality. these ARE NOT tactics, it is
not a side of you. you learn to get ride of the old chump that was programmed to be a chump by society and you
become a new man, an alpha male. let me ask you a question, if you're not the type of guy women in general (not a
woman once in a blue moon) are naturally attracted to why continue to be that guy?
btw are you referring to a
50/50 relationship aka she has you by the balls but you think you guys share the power?
Darkman84
11-05-2004, 12:54 AM
I have to go with TRock and
Demo here, guys. I know this very well, especially with African American women, that most don't want what is
considered the nice guy. At lleast this is what they say. They want a "bad boy", a "thug" so to speak, somewhat of a
jerk, relative to TRock's example of being an a**hole. This is the type of guy that stands out in most women's
eyes of these times.
Indigo, trust me, I hear where you are coming from. I used to be like that. I still am in
some ways, and I often have to check myself as to when I'm being "too nice and sensitive" to a girl I'm interested
in. It was the way I was raised, to be nice, respectful and caring to women. Once I already have the girl, it's
usually okay to treat her that way. (then again, you'd still want to show yourself more of an alpha male. Don't be
clingy and OVERLY sensitive and such. You won't have her too long if you do.) But when you're still trying to get
with her, the nice guy role won't work. As I said, especially for African American females, too much of the "nice
guy" persona will probably leave you never getting that get that girl that "lights up the room when you see her."
Matter of fact, don't say that to her. It's too nice. She'll say you're sweet an all, but she probably won't
look at you as anything more than a good, "nice guy" friend.
Don't mean to make you feel attacked or anything,
but after reading what you wrote and noticing the familiarity of it, I thought I should step in and help out,
because as I said, I used to think just like you and earlier in life, I might've have been your chief supporter in
this conversation. Times have changed. Women's desires have, as well. I know better nowadays.
Gegogi
11-05-2004, 01:30 AM
I suppose you guys must live in
another world (or date really young girls), but most women I've known grew out of the bad boy alpha male attraction
after high school. They're ready to settle down and want a real man, not a pretender. Rather than a thug, jerk or
A-hole, they want a dentist with a sensitive and devoted heart.
I've had a serious relationship with two
attractive African American women. They were largely drawn to me because of my musicianship, soft spoken demeanor
and sensitivity. One was constantly overjoyed by my kindness and gentle touch (yeah, that sounds weird). Perhaps
getting beat every week by a thug boyfriend gets old fast. I haven't a macho bone in my body. In fact, women often
think I'm gay at first. But whatever, I have no shortage of intelligent and attractive women in my life.
Watcher
11-05-2004, 01:40 AM
Fat ugly girls are atracted to
nice guys.
Youre young pancho - youre all emotional if it gets to much save up a few hundred bucks and if its
legal in youre area go pay for a root - once that is out of the way well you can worry about real women.
All
women are bitches at some point.
Attractive ones are fickel and highly selective - just like some guys (all
of us paying more attention to the good looking ones instead of the fat ugly thing no one touches)
Great
advice sweet brenda - women want you to not wait for them to thing sexually mostly they want someone to lead. Make
the move etc. Ask her out if she says no - you move on and use that old scatter approach i use when
single.
Of course you could always try for someone out of youre social group ie if white go for asians or
african americans - europeans etc.
And vise versa.
And when it comes to tactics its more natural tactics
or natural approach if youre natural aproach is wrong - then you gotta look at successful tactics and make them
automatic responses from within youreself ie if youre to nice you need to automatically be a bit more hard and
bastard (but not to much) just enough to show youre male testosrtrone stand up for youre self and not be bullied
into whimpish submission (not psychical either its mental appraoch and toughness)
Violence against women is
unacceptible in all cases. But mentally being able to stand up to them and not be pushed around when she gets
bitchy is a good sign.
Indigo
11-05-2004, 02:02 AM
God, I hope she
never reads this thread as she'll ran as fast and far as possible. Respect, like trust, is something you earn over
time. Sheesh, trying to "make people like you" is a waste of time. If they don't like you for who you are, get over
it and find someone that appreciates your unique qualities and individuality. Your life will be simpler, less
stressful and consequently more enjoyable.
:box: :box: Thanks Gegodi, thank. I thought, I am the only
person seeing things like that !!!!! :thumbsup:
Don't mean to make you feel attacked
or anything, but after reading what you wrote and noticing the familiarity of it, I thought I should step in and
help out, because as I said, I used to think just like you and earlier in life, I might've have been your chief
supporter in this conversation. Times have changed. Women's desires have, as well. I know better
nowadays.Hello Darkman,
I don't feel offended at all. I appreciate your opinion and advice! That's
mainly because I already knew that you are right. I know that nearly every woman on this planet is like you and
TRock say.
I don't contradict your vision of the facts. But to quote deAngelo: It is always ones own reality.
I
have met so many different people living in totally different worlds ( not better or worse, just different ), and I
believe the worls around you is just as bad ( or as good ) as you accept it be.
Everybody has to create his own
reality (like DAngelo recommends to do ). I just do it in a different way. I am not a nice guy because I have
learned to do so. I am who I am, I am working on it trying not to betray myself and what I believe in. If a woman
treats me bad, I tell her and show her.
I'm sure getting woman is much easier doing what Trock, you and most
others here say, but beeing honest to myself: I could't have much respect for a woman who feels appealed when
someone is bad and respectless towards her ( especially when it is no natural respectelessness because of oneself
but only caused by tactics ). It might be ok to have a relationship in which I feel superior and fell to be the
alpha male, but in the long run I couldn't respect her and would no longer be able to look into the mirror, I would
have to say to myself: "I am together with a woman, and I know I don't respect her, but I am still together with
her! Is that ok and fair ( even if she doesn't recognize) ?????"
I never want to be treated like that. If a
woman doesn't respect me, and I am too dumb to see it,
she should be mature enough to leave me ( just out of a
little remaining respect ). I would do the same thing!
I know you are right Darkman ( generally speaking ). I
know there are hardly any women beeing more natural ans less manipulable, but they exist ( Gegodi meets them at
times). I never met too many of them, but in my close circle of friends there are relationships of that kind
I am looking for, which got started in different ways than usual. So unfortunaltely I know that what I belive in
exists, and it would be gutless to give up and simply change what I believe in ( and who I am )! I do that every
day, developing myself, doubting and questioning my positions, but I can't and don't want to give up
what is
unfortunaly very deep in me ( and for which I get alot of respect and esteem from my close friends ). They see the
worth of my values and if a woman does not see it... then I don't want her and it is her loss !
Just out of
curiosity: Where do you expect me to come from ???? ;)
Pancho1188
11-05-2004, 06:36 AM
Youre young
pancho - youre all emotional if it gets to much save up a few hundred bucks and if its legal in youre area go pay
for a root - once that is out of the way well you can worry about real women.
Uhhh...okay...
Anyway,
the problem with people is that everyone uses the terms "nice guy" and "asshole" without understanding what it
actually entails. "Nice guys" are tools. Read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and find out what I'm talking about.
You'll find out that nice guys aren't so nice. They are unconfident, manipulative,
do-anything-to-please-others-so-others-will-please-them-when-they-should-just-do-things-for-themselves toolbags. As
for "assholes", people mistake being mean for being confident and your own person and not worried about stuff like
rejection or whatever. You don't have to insult a girl to make her respect you...you just have to show you've got
confidence. Women are more likely to go out with an "asshole" than a "nice guy" because "assholes" show the most
confidence (although that confidence grows into complete ignorance of other people's feelings and there's where
you cross the line from a "catch" into an "asshole"). Yes, girls are attracted to and go out with "assholes"...but
how many happy, satisfied women in meaningful relationships for 50 years call their partners "assholes"? How many
women who actually talk positively about their bfs cal them "assholes"? What type of women would go out with an
"asshole" (those with self-confidence/self-esteem issues)?
Maybe "it takes one to know one" and those women
don't want to go out with guys with the same problems they know they are facing. As for joking about a girl's
looks or whatever, that could be manipulative because the reason they like "assholes" is because they have low
self-esteem (and may or may not know they are attractive), so when you question what everyone else takes as a given,
they will do anything to please you and make you change your mind just like the "nice guy" would do anything to
please women.
I recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" to understand what it truly means to be a "nice guy",
an "asshole", or a "catch" ("catch" is my own term as I'm not sure if there's a better term for it).
I think we need to give women a
lobotomy on their limbic brain, and that will solve everything.
Pancho,
It's ok to be nice if
you really feel that way, you won't come off as a wussy. Just keep it down ;)
It's hard to mark the line
between a "catch" and a jerk, the answer is field test, I'm still working on it too. You can't really say anything
that crosses your mind :D
Yoel
Pancho1188
11-05-2004, 07:29 AM
Pancho,
It's
ok to be nice if you really feel that way, you won't come off as a wussy. Just keep it down ;)
It's hard to
mark the line between a "catch" and a jerk, the answer is field test, I'm still working on it too. You can't
really say anything that crosses your mind :D
Yoel
I didn't say you couldn't be nice, I said that
"nice guys" are not so nice. I will replace "being nice" with being a good person. You should be a good person.
That's what the difference is between a "catch" and an "asshole". "Assholes" bring others down to make themselves
look good. "Catches" are confident in themselves and don't need to bring others down to show that they are worthy.
"Nice guys" do anything to please trying to get the approval they can't get from themselves.
Again, you have
to read the book to know where I'm coming from or else you won't understand as well because you won't be using
the same definition for the terms I'm using. Unless I make perfect sense, which if you ask bjf is a long shot.
:rofl:
haha, Pancho, I've understood
everything you've said (and have always felt the same way, myself). Although I do admit, I skipped a few
sentences.
Darkman84
11-05-2004, 08:01 AM
I suppose you
guys must live in another world (or date really young girls), but most women I've known grew out of the bad boy
alpha male attraction after high school. They're ready to settle down and want a real man, not a pretender. Rather
than a thug, jerk or A-hole, they want a dentist with a sensitive and devoted heart.
I've had a serious
relationship with two attractive African American women. They were largely drawn to me because of my musicianship,
soft spoken demeanor and sensitivity. One was constantly overjoyed by my kindness and gentle touch (yeah, that
sounds weird). Perhaps getting beat every week by a thug boyfriend gets old fast. I haven't a macho bone in my
body. In fact, women often think I'm gay at first. But whatever, I have no shortage of intelligent and attractive
women in my life.
Understandable, actually. The age factor might be the key. I'm 20, so I'm talking
about girls OUT of high school, mostly college chicks. I tend to agree that when women get older, they don't think
that way anymore. I mean like 35 and over.
Think you're gay at first? Dang, you don't feel insulted? I
would.
Darkman84
11-05-2004, 08:09 AM
:box: :box:
Thanks Gegodi, thank. I thought, I am the only person seeing things like that !!!!! :thumbsup:
Hello
Darkman,
I don't feel offended at all. I appreciate your opinion and advice! That's mainly because I already
knew that you are right. I know that nearly every woman on this planet is like you and TRock say.
I don't
contradict your vision of the facts. But to quote deAngelo: It is always ones own reality.
I have met so many
different people living in totally different worlds ( not better or worse, just different ), and I believe the worls
around you is just as bad ( or as good ) as you accept it be.
Everybody has to create his own reality (like DAngelo
recommends to do ). I just do it in a different way. I am not a nice guy because I have learned to do so. I am who I
am, I am working on it trying not to betray myself and what I believe in. If a woman treats me bad, I tell her and
show her.
I'm sure getting woman is much easier doing what Trock, you and most others here say, but beeing honest
to myself: I could't have much respect for a woman who feels appealed when someone is bad and respectless towards
her ( especially when it is no natural respectelessness because of oneself but only caused by tactics ). It might be
ok to have a relationship in which I feel superior and fell to be the alpha male, but in the long run I couldn't
respect her and would no longer be able to look into the mirror, I would have to say to myself: "I am together with
a woman, and I know I don't respect her, but I am still together with her! Is that ok and fair ( even if she
doesn't recognize) ?????"
I never want to be treated like that. If a woman doesn't respect me, and I am
too dumb to see it,
she should be mature enough to leave me ( just out of a little remaining respect ). I would do
the same thing!
I know you are right Darkman ( generally speaking ). I know there are hardly any women beeing
more natural ans less manipulable, but they exist ( Gegodi meets them at times). I never met too many of them, but
in my close circle of friends there are relationships of that kind I am looking for, which got started in
different ways than usual. So unfortunaltely I know that what I belive in exists, and it would be gutless to give up
and simply change what I believe in ( and who I am )! I do that every day, developing myself, doubting and
questioning my positions, but I can't and don't want to give up
what is unfortunaly very deep in me ( and for
which I get alot of respect and esteem from my close friends ). They see the worth of my values and if a woman does
not see it... then I don't want her and it is her loss !
Just out of curiosity: Where do you expect me to come
from ???? ;)I hear you, although, I think when trying the alpha male thing, you don't have to be TOTALLY
disrespectful, just enough to make yourself seem like the bad guy, so to speak. But I understand. I, too, am a nice
guy by nature. I never had to practice being nice. That's how I am. I DID however had to practice being the alpha
male because it was NOT my nature.
I also have friends that respect me for being the nice guy, but those are
friends. For the girls I am interested in, it seems that it doesn't work. But again, I think we understand each
other. :thumbsup: You sound like me in a lot of ways.
Darkman84
11-05-2004, 08:14 AM
I didn't
say you couldn't be nice, I said that "nice guys" are not so nice. I will replace "being nice" with being a good
person. You should be a good person. That's what the difference is between a "catch" and an "asshole". "Assholes"
bring others down to make themselves look good. "Catches" are confident in themselves and don't need to bring
others down to show that they are worthy. "Nice guys" do anything to please trying to get the approval they can't
get from themselves.
Again, you have to read the book to know where I'm coming from or else you won't
understand as well because you won't be using the same definition for the terms I'm using. Unless I make perfect
sense, which if you ask bjf is a long shot. :rofl:
I understand perfectly what you're saying and I hope I
didn't confuse you by using those specific terms. That's really what I mean, but more in an alpha male sense. Not
to be a mean jerk but, to sort of be cocky and confident, like the alpha male. I think we are saying the same thing.
No confusion here.:goodpost:
Indigo
11-05-2004, 08:26 AM
I hear you,
although, I think when trying the alpha male thing, you don't have to be TOTALLY disrespectful, just enough to make
yourself seem like the bad guy, so to speak. But I understand. I, too, am a nice guy by nature. I never had to
practice being nice. That's how I am. I DID however had to practice being the alpha male because it was NOT my
nature.
I can absolutely live with that kind of attitude and I hope for you that you will find
someone for whom you
don't have to "...seem like the bad guy" !
Sounds quite mature for a 20 year old boy :D
!!!
Darkman84
11-05-2004, 08:33 AM
I can absolutely
live with that kind of attitude and I hope for you that you will find someone for whom you
don't have to "...seem
like the bad guy" !
Sounds quite mature for a 20 year old boy :D !!!
I hope so, too and thanks.
Pancho1188
11-05-2004, 10:15 AM
Although I do
admit, I skipped a few sentences.
If you know what I'm talking about, you don't need to read it at all!
;)
:thumbsup:
About the gay thing and being insulted...it depends how it's used. There's still the
stereotype that gay people are unbelievably attractive to women and have every quality they want in a man but can't
have...if that's the case, take it as a compliment! If it's because you're unbelievably feminine or
sensitive...well, take it how you want to...if you like how you are, who cares?
People know the stereotypical
way gay men act with women and vice-versa...who wouldn't want that?
Then again, as Seinfeld says, everybody
gets along when there's no possibility of sex.
Darkman84
11-05-2004, 11:38 AM
If you know
what I'm talking about, you don't need to read it at all! ;)
:thumbsup:
About the gay thing and being
insulted...it depends how it's used. There's still the stereotype that gay people are unbelievably attractive to
women and have every quality they want in a man but can't have...if that's the case, take it as a compliment! If
it's because you're unbelievably feminine or sensitive...well, take it how you want to...if you like how you are,
who cares?
People know the stereotypical way gay men act with women and vice-versa...who wouldn't want that?
Then again, as Seinfeld says, everybody gets along when there's no possibility of sex.
Ah, ok, I get it
now. In that sense, it would be a compliment.
Gegogi
11-05-2004, 12:40 PM
Darkman writes. "Think
you're gay at first? Dang, you don't feel insulted? I would."
Actually it doesn't bother me at all as
I'm secure in my sexuality. Gay men rarely think I'm gay. Usually attractive women think I might be gay and it
often draws them to me. It certainly gets me laid more than most of my macho friends.
As far the cut off age
for women losing the alpha male attraction I think it's much lower than 35. By their mid-20s most women are looking
for a taste of the other side. My current girlfriend is 23, extremely attractive and likes me because I'm not a bad
boy. She had plenty of bad boys already and learned her lesson. I can be as sweet and nice to her as I want and she
returns it in kind.
Pancho1188
11-05-2004, 01:01 PM
Actually it
doesn't bother me at all as I'm secure in my sexuality. Gay men rarely think I'm gay. Usually attractive women
think I might be gay and it often draws them to me. It certainly gets me laid more than most of my macho friends.
As far the cut off age for women losing the alpha male attraction I think it's much lower than 35. By their
mid-20s most women are looking for a taste of the other side. My current girlfriend is 23, extremely attractive and
likes me because I'm not a bad boy. She had plenty of bad boys already and learned her lesson. I can be as sweet
and nice to her as I want and she returns it in kind.
-Hi, Shmoopy!
--No, you're Shmoopy!
-No,
you're Shmoopy!
---Alright, you're both Shmoopy!
I would agree with Gegogi. I'm around all recent
graduates (mostly female), and I don't see one of them looking for or with a "bad boy"...you must lose it when you
enter the real world and you realize it's nasty enough without adding to it with bad relationships... :hammer:
I was half-joking...but when I think about it...it makes sense. When you don't have a lot of responsibility, you
want to go out with people who live dangerously or cause chaos or whatever...a nice guy will put you to sleep. When
you take on all kinds of responsibility, though, you want fun andsupport instead of rebellion and attitude.
Maturity definitely comes into play. I know my last relationship died on this principle because I graduated and
could move to the next level of commitment while my ex was still in college and wanted to live it up...
TRock
11-05-2004, 01:04 PM
gegogi i don't think you realize
this but your personality is type one of the 4 personality types that attract women. you are an artist, which is one
of the personality type. the other 3 are badboy, adventurer, and seducer. then you have the 4 nice guys types:
successful guy, daddy, regular guy, ass kisser.
being mach does necessarily convey alpha, you're more likely to
convey insecurity by showing how much of an alpha you are.
the reason that older woman settle down with anybody
is that their biological time clock is ticking. they have to settle for less or have no kids. these are also the
women that will cheat on you during the marriage. good example is princess diana and her 2 sons william and harry.
william is exactly like prince charles while harry is exactly like diana's friend. and guess what type of guy
diana's friend was....adventurer while you can include charles into the successful category. i also know guys in
the pick up community that specialize in having sex with married women. it's very common if the husband was a guy
the wife had to settle for.
Snoopy
11-05-2004, 01:19 PM
-Hi,
Shmoopy!
--No, you're Shmoopy!
-No, you're Shmoopy!
---Alright, you're both Shmoopy!
No! I'm Shmoopy!!! :LOL:
Watcher
11-05-2004, 01:28 PM
25 seems to be the switch over
point from looking for alpha to looking for what has been termed omega (not a whimpy beta (submissive but not
necessarily faminine either) but someone dependable, strong, mentally up to the challange of fatherhood, someone
with a decent job.
Pancho1188
11-05-2004, 01:29 PM
the reason that
older woman settle down with anybody is that their biological time clock is ticking. they have to settle for less or
have no kids. these are also the women that will cheat on you during the marriage. good example is princess diana
and her 2 sons william and harry. william is exactly like prince charles while harry is exactly like diana's
friend. and guess what type of guy diana's friend was....adventurer while you can include charles into the
successful category. i also know guys in the pick up community that specialize in having sex with married women.
it's very common if the husband was a guy the wife had to settle for.I'm laughing at this post because
sensitive women would call you sexist (although I think you're just making an observation; I once jokingly said
we'd have to bring back polygamy if the female population lived longer than the male population and more men died
in wars or from stupidity...to which I got the intelligent responses of 106 boys are born for every 100 girls and
that women could live by themselves...which brings me back to my point) and "Prince Charles" and
"Successful"...:rofl: ...I'd go with "Lucky"...I think royalty is luck. (you could say that bad royalty get
overthrown, but they have no power in today's society, anyway, and now you just have to be in the direct line of
the royal family)
Anyway, women don't necessarily "settle" for someone. They could rough it by themselves. I'm
sorry...I don't think I would settle with someone I didn't love...there's adoption, artificial insemination, etc.
for children if that's the issue for women.
Women usually don't cheat because they want to get some ass with
some guy they wish they had, it's usually because things aren't going well at home (e.g. they don't feel
appreciated, they don't feel romance, they don't love the person they're with anymore (meaning they did at one
point...not because they settled), etc.). No rational human being would marry someone just to have kids unless they
had low self-esteem and didn't believe they would ever have anyone else. That represents emotional problems,
though...
You're right about there being guys who specialize in married women, and they are good at discovering
and fulfilling those unmet needs at home. The most common is the woman that doesn't feel appreciated, doesn't get
enough attention, or isn't listened to at home. Believe me, that guy will give her all of the appreciation and
attention she would ever need, and he will sleep with her if she is willing to go there.
DeMoKiLL
11-05-2004, 01:36 PM
Ok, First of all I don't think
being called gay is a compliment, it is VERY un alpha-male like. Here is the break down of a relationship. One
person is the lesser and one person is the greater. When the female becomes the leader she uses the male as a tool,
being TOO nice makes it seem like you WANT them, instead of making THEM want you. When a male is the dominant person
in the relationship usually the relationship can last for a long time, because the female won't be able to let go,
and if the male is perfectly happy with how its going he won't break up. You can be nice, but don't like be TOO
nice, make sure she always is aware of your power. Remember always think to yourself "Im sexy, if she doesn't want
me ill find someone else" don't think "Uh oh, is she going to like me, what should I say oh here she comes quick
brain think think" then you stand there say nothing and lose out. Ok now back to my side of the story, I went to
class today again, and again after telling her I wasn't mad at her yesterday she asked me again today. Then to test
to see if I was still ignoring her she called my attention to ask what problem she was supposed to do with homework
(with all ready knowing what it was). Then she was like what problem do we do etc etc im like what? then she says
nevermind and goes back to work. And I think she also stares at me sometimes, but you know I can't look at her
while shes doing it or she will turn away so.. Another thing, My friend that I know has been with practically every
single girl there is. He's a nice guy but he "gets it", he has a lot of confidence and gets phone numbers everday.
I actually asked a girl today "So you went out with (name)" "Yea" "Were you attracted to him?" "Yes" "Did he act
like an asshole most of the time" "Yes" "Who dumped who?" "It was kind of mutual". So if you are a "nice guy" and
you find out that your not getting the women you want or not getting as many dates as you want, try it out, listen
to deangelo's stuff and then TRY IT in real life. For the people who can be a nice guy and still get the ladies,
more power to you, you probably have something else going for you that other people do not. Always be open minded
about these sorts of things, if being nice isn't working unleash the wild side:whip: and see how people react.
Pancho1188
11-05-2004, 02:02 PM
Who cares whether you're
alpha or not if you're getting some? ;) Secondly, power is an illusion. If there is a "greater" and a "lesser",
then there is a problem. You only have the power people give you. If a woman walks out the door never to
return, what power do you have over her now? None. If you walk out the door on her never to return, what power
does she have over you now? None. Therefore, the only way to achieve balance is to work together. After all,
that's what a relationship is. Just because one is masculine and one is feminine doesn't mean one has power and
the other does not. They're just different kinds of power. Believe me...a woman who witholds sex just became
powerful. A man who just revoked the credit card in a relationship where only the man works or the man is richer
just became powerful. Notice how if one can be removed, so can the other. In addition, one person can just leave
the other. Again, it's a delicate balance of power...
If you believe that dominant power is the key, you will
either find a submissive girl with low self-esteem or be a very lonely man. You need to respect the power a woman
has while you exercise yours in a relationship. Go out for that beer with the guys, but don't forget her birthday.
Buy the 50-inch screen TV and be a couch potato during football games, but you've better sit and listen to her
talk about her day later. (you could switch this around and say that women could go to a really good Broadway show
or something, but they've better give their men good sex afterwords ;))
Balance is the key. The problem with
"nice guys" is they have none...and a jerk usually isn't willing to meet a woman half-way (after sex, anyway... ;))
to have a decent relationship.
TRock
11-05-2004, 02:15 PM
this argument is starting to get
dumb. everybody can believe whatever they want, that's fine. for the dyd skeptics, you need to see c&f practiced by
somebody that knows what they're doing. you'll be amazed by what you see.
btw c&f is not equivalent to being
an asshole.
TRock, I think it works if it is
funny, and people maybe are losing sight of that, and thinking it does mean "be a sarcastic asshole."
Telling
jokes at her expense, showing you aren't afraid of the consequences, while also doing so in a manner where they
know it is a joke, is probably what that stuff is about, no?
That is why I kept asking whether the delivery
is supposed to be with smile (so they know it is a joke). DeAngelo says no, but he seems like a good comedian who
can do thngs with a straight face will delivering well enough so people realize it is a joke.
Darkman84
11-05-2004, 03:15 PM
...Just
because one is masculine and one is feminine doesn't mean one has power and the other does not. They're just
different kinds of power. Believe me...a woman who witholds sex just became powerful. A man who just revoked the
credit card in a relationship where only the man works or the man is richer just became powerful. Notice how if one
can be removed, so can the other. In addition, one person can just leave the other. Again, it's a delicate balance
of power...
This is true. Absolutely agree with that. Good point.:goodpost:
Darkman84
11-05-2004, 03:17 PM
btw c&f is not
equivalent to being an asshole.
True. That's basically what I meant by that. Being cocky and funny and
confident. Not mean and nasty to people.
Gegogi
11-05-2004, 06:15 PM
"the reason that older
woman settle down with anybody is that their biological time clock is ticking. they have to settle for less or have
no kids. these are also the women that will cheat on you during the marriage."
I'm not sure what you
mean by "older" women. However, I don't think women in their mid-20s are "older" nor settling for anybody because
they've had it with badboys 'n dickheads and want a real man.
As for women that cheat, their reasons vary
considerably. Sure, some are unhappy, unsatified, angry, loney, etc. However, many women are completely happy with
their marriage but cheat anyway. Some are just super horny, get it every day at home and around town as much as
possible. Some women enjoy the excitment and risk of sneaking around. Monogamy isn't a universal value nor is it
hardwired into our brains. Some women--many women in my experience--have plenty of room in their heart and bed for
another man or two or three. I was happily married and cheated many times until I was finally caught one time too
many. Now I'm single. I'd be perfectly happy with 3 or 4 girlfriends (or wives) if I could get away with it. Again
it wasn't that I was unhappy with any one woman--I loved and cherished them all--I just liked getting more. Like
money, you can never have too much love. And, to me, nothing is more exciting than falling in
love.
Incidentally, I didn't realize that what's-his-name defines artists as one of the 4 classes of babe
magnets. Now I feel so used...
TRock
11-05-2004, 08:47 PM
if that is what you believe, then
that is what you believe.
Gegogi
11-05-2004, 10:00 PM
What is that remarked directed
to: why women cheat, 25 year old women are old in your estimation, or monogamy isn't a universal value nor
hardwired into brains? I've laid plenty of pipe among happily married women, women married to dickheads, nice guys
and pretty boys. Fire in their loins discern not if their lust object is funny, confident or cocky. They just like
getting off, variety and danger. Incidentally, many of these women don't want kids.
DeMoKiLL
11-09-2004, 03:36 PM
If you get the "lets just be
friends" bit, don't try any funny stuff like I did, its not working and she wrote me a note today pretty pissed
off. ;-) Do not try this at home. Never ever, tell a girl you like her if you want to show it then show it in
physical contact or subtle things.
What "funny stuff" did you try, and
are you sure it wasn't just "being a dick"?
Holmes
11-09-2004, 04:01 PM
The line is razor-thin betwixt
humor and dickery.
Pancho1188
11-09-2004, 04:44 PM
If you get the
"lets just be friends" bit, don't try any funny stuff like I did, its not working and she wrote me a note today
pretty pissed off. ;-) Do not try this at home. Never ever, tell a girl you like her if you want to show it then
show it in physical contact or subtle things.
I'm going to hold back my "I told you so" comment
because---well, by saying that I essentially said, "I told you so"---I want to tell you that it doesn't work the
other way, either. Believe me, I know. I'm not sure if I wrote about it on the forum, but I got rejected without
even telling a girl I liked her or asking her out because of the way I acted around her. I tried subtletly (without
me even knowing it sometimes as I guess I was a little lonely at the time), I tried to have her be comfortable when
I entered her personal space or engaged in whatever type of physical contact, and I tried just seeing if something
would happen. I got rejected faster than you did and didn't even say a word.
A girl either likes you or
doesn't like you at any given time. If she likes you, you could do whatever you wanted and she would still like
you. You could say you liked her, you could get close and be subtle, you could do whatever you want. If she
doesn't like you, nothing is going to magically change that. The best thing you can do is let her know you're
interested and see if she feels the same way. If not, just be her friend (or not if that's your perogative) and
move on. If she changes her mind and becomes interested and you're not with someone else or whatever, then she'll
probably find a way to let you know because she'll know she missed her chance. If she doesn't change her
mind, you still have a friend and you also moved on.
Conventional wisdom says that to get a girl you grow some
balls, ask them out, and take it like a man if you get rejected. You may be rejected, but you'll definitely be
respected. Even DYD (I say this with limited knowledge) would have to agree with that...after all, life pays
whatever price you ask of it, right? If you don't ask, you'll never receive. If she's not interested, it's not
worth your time anymore. As for the "want what you can't have" belief, that only works when you move on and she
realized what she can't have anymore. Simply saying "you can't have me" (ignoring her, etc.) doesn't work.
The reason why you're talking about this is because saying you liked her made you vulnerable, you lost your
'power', and she 'crushed' you. You were looking for a way to get your 'power' back. At least...that's only
if you look at it like that. The problem is easily solved when you realize that there is no power struggle and that
you could just pick up and move on without losing anything but the 5 minutes you spent admitting your feelings.
When you take it like a man and move on, maybe she'll finally see what a good guy you are and change her mind.
It's no guarantee, but it's surely better than playing a few games and seeing what happens. At least you'll
still have your 'power'...which is the ability to control your own destiny and not let a girl control your every
waking thought or moment.
This posting has inspired me to do the same in my life. In fact, I would be a
hypocrite unless I took my own advice, right?---------------Wow, what a concept! As I finished that last sentence,
it actually happened...I sucked it up and stuck to my guns pretty well with the girl I'm currently having a
somewhat similar problem with. Not too shabby...who knew you could be a man and a decent human being at the same
time?
PR
Snoopy
11-09-2004, 05:05 PM
Great post Pancho. I'm now
reviewing DYD for the 3rd time, the "power" thing brings up a good point. Nobody ever has "power", people just give
it to them.
Gegogi
11-09-2004, 05:24 PM
Amen Pancho.
TRock
11-09-2004, 06:36 PM
A girl either
likes you or doesn't like you at any given time. If she doesn't like you, nothing is going to magically change
that.
Simply saying "you can't have me" (ignoring her, etc.) doesn't work.
PRPancho i agree with
your whole post except those 2 points. if there's no attraction you can still create attraction. That's the whole
idea of cold approaching, it is not guaranteed tho b/c you'll still get shot down. you can display higher value
while cutting down her value with C&F or other seduction techniques if you do it right.
if you say it the right
way or acting like "you can't have me" will work if you know how to do it. that is if you get the opportunity to
run your game.
demo don't sweat the chick, move on and pull other girls. a hot babe is a hot babe is a hot
babe, they're everywhere. erase her from you memory and work on your next conquest. it's not the end result that
matters, it's that your technique is correct.
DeMoKiLL
11-09-2004, 07:43 PM
Pancho i agree
with your whole post except those 2 points. if there's no attraction you can still create attraction. That's the
whole idea of cold approaching, it is not guaranteed tho b/c you'll still get shot down. you can display higher
value while cutting down her value with C&F or other seduction techniques if you do it right.
if you say it
the right way or acting like "you can't have me" will work if you know how to do it. that is if you get the
opportunity to run your game.
demo don't sweat the chick, move on and pull other girls. a hot babe is a
hot babe is a hot babe, they're everywhere. erase her from you memory and work on your next conquest. it's not the
end result that matters, it's that your technique is correct.
Well yea I would of moved on, but she's
practically everything i've ever wanted, and guess what, I can't have it! Isn't life just grand.
And, can
you explain what you mean by saying "you can't have me" the right way?
Pherozen
11-09-2004, 07:55 PM
you can display higher
value while cutting down her value with C&F or other seduction techniques if you do it right.
Don't take
this offensively. These techniques are for people with no value. If you have value then it's displayed already,
you don't have to go out of your way to display it. If you want to be a man act like a man. Men don't cut down
other people's value to make their lowly value seem greater.
Demokill the reason you failed was because you
were so unnatural about it, techniques don't work, why because they are techniques. The way you made your posts
sound I imagine that you could see 10 miles away what "tricks" were up your sleeve. Like I'm going to get her to
fool herself into liking me. To make an odd analogy lets say a 200lbs 70 year old wrinkled old bag was into you
with no personality is into you, do you think that she could do anything in the world to nab you? Be Aloof? Make
fun of you? Uh no, I didn't think so. I'm not saying that you're a fat old lady but do you get my point? Imagine
someone told you this great technique for making PB & J sandwiches yet it didn't feel natural to you and your
sandwiches ended up looking like crap. Useless. You can tell girls that you like them and they'll still be eating
out of your palm if there's a natural connection. Stop trying to dupe your way into things and let things take
their course. And my last bit of advice, it's usually not good to decide that this is "THE ONE" unless you've
been dating for a while because your young lady "friend" here could potentially be a real pain in the ass in a
dating scenario. And realize that you only wanted her more because she didn't want you. Before you say oh so
that's how I can nab her. Imagine that someone that you didn't like was being aloof, do you like her now that
she's being aloof? Probably not. If there's a spark or something in the FIRST place (a spark, magic, maybe even
mones) then you're in and it's hard to mess it up from there.
LAST BIT OF ADVICE: Listen to Pancho and the
gay(?) guy.
TRock
11-09-2004, 08:06 PM
send pre-emptive strikes like
david d says. make fun of her dress c&f style then say that's strike one, 2 more strikes and i'm leaving. the key
is you MUST leave if it comes down to strike three b/c if you bluff you've lost. you have to establish that you are
the prize to be able to make this stuff works. i recommend swinggcat's ebook which i use hand in hand with dyd. she
does something wrong, do C&F and say something "like why do i let u hang out with me", she'll say blah blah blah.
do a exagerrated yaww with hands covering mouth and tell her "try again". this is actual stuff that i do. or tell
her you saw her on tv last night, she'll ask where? you say "america's biggest loser". if she gets mad at anything
you say, never ever defend always attack. "somebody's bleeding today huh" or "wow, emotional aren't we?"
c&f
isn't a technique, it's a lifestyle. you have to act arrogant or atleast cocky to work. that's why it works for
me and i can usually turn them getting mad at me into about them being overly emotional and having to defend
themselves. if you act like a wussy and you use c&f, you'll look like a insecure guy.
edit: one more thing,
you need to know how to calibrate how much c&f is the limit for a certain girl. if you calibrate wrong you will
probably piss them off to the point of no return. i can't really tell you how to calibrate besides trial and error.
i always had a good calibration system b/c as i little kid i always new how much i can push it with somebody.
TRock
11-09-2004, 08:17 PM
Don't take this
offensively. These techniques are for people with no value. If you have value then it's displayed already, you
don't have to go out of your way to display it. If you want to be a man act like a man. Men don't cut down other
people's value to make their lowly value seem greater.
nobody said do it maliciously because
that'll get you nowhere but if you don't believe these "techniques" don't work, then don't believe it.
Pherozen
11-09-2004, 08:26 PM
Okay I'm funny and I'm somewhat
arrogant, but I'm not out there using "material" or trying to turn people into emotional defensive messes. Man, be
original. I think you're reeking of insecurity when you say David D says this, David D says this, David D says
this. It's cool that you like the guy, but he is not a god. I agree stop acting like insecure wusses. The fact
that you're always in "attack mode" causes me to seriously wonder if you are capable of holding a normal human
relationship. Attack mode is like what someone is on when they're hunting deer. I don't give a damn mode is what
works for me, not because I don't give a damn mode works, but because I don't give a damn, it's natural. Hate to
repeat the age old adage but "Be yourself". Not such a tool for these seduction people.
TRock
11-09-2004, 08:36 PM
isn't somebody self rightgeous.
by the way how many 10's have you gamed lately. don't be so quick to hate, are you mad i'm exploiting a system
that you would jump on too given the chance.
Pherozen
11-09-2004, 08:41 PM
nobody said do it
maliciously because that'll get you nowhere but if you don't believe these "techniques" don't work, then don't
believe it.
As techniques, these are useless. This behavior works but every type of behavior works when
it is natural. I'm just saying that you're promoting it as a magic bullet and imply that it's about having power
over people. Nothing you say matters when you're talking to girls it's everything else. You can tell a girl "I
have no penis, and would like to kiss your feet and I don't take showers, let's go have sex I'm horny and
haven't showered for a month" if said in just the right natural way that can get a girls heart racing. Of course
if your words were true probably not. People blab all day, the words aren't important, the body and eyes are the
window into your soul. It's not words, it's not techniques, it's how you present yourself, how relaxed you are,
how well groomed you are, and most importantly if there's that initial spark/magic.
Pherozen
11-09-2004, 08:46 PM
isn't somebody self
rightgeous. by the way how many 10's have you gamed lately. don't be so quick to hate, are you mad i'm exploiting
a system that you would jump on too given the chance.
"Somebody's bleeding, huh?" Quit being so
defensive, you're becoming highly emotional and forfeiting all your power to me.
Give me a break. There is no
such thing as a 10, 10's are for unselective people. If everybody's a 10 then there damn well better be an 11.
I don't need to EXPLOIT a SYSTEM, I am the system and I work well and oh yes the benifits are...
NICE.
TRock
11-09-2004, 08:47 PM
reading comprehesion buddy, i
guess you don't have it b/c if you read my post i told demo he needs to internalized c&f for it to work.
Pherozen
11-09-2004, 09:25 PM
(YAWN) :wave:
"try again"
TRock
11-09-2004, 09:46 PM
you did a great job using my
material. it really flatters me.
Pherozen
11-09-2004, 09:51 PM
You're welcome. This little clash
of minds really racked up our points, looks like you're due for a discount coupon soon.
Gegogi
11-09-2004, 09:51 PM
Children, please calm down before
you embarrass yourselves further.
Pherozen
11-09-2004, 09:55 PM
Gegogi
We're just poking some
fun. I don't remember, were you gay or did people just think you were. If so how do mones seem to work on gay
hits? If you're not gay then, eh nevermind.
Gegogi
11-09-2004, 11:16 PM
I wish I was gay (actually
AC/DC), I'd get laid twice as much! Alas, the only wang I like is my own. However, being a musician of slight build
and fashional dress 'n grooming, women suspect I'm gay and either want a challenge or are curious. Boy are they
suprised when I give 'em ma midnight surprise...
Watcher
11-10-2004, 01:41 AM
AC?DC can sometimes have its
benefits especially when you give em that mightnight surprise.
Snoopy
11-10-2004, 01:44 AM
What's AC/DC?
oscar
11-10-2004, 02:15 AM
Gents,
My personal opinion is
that anyone who has the secret to getting what they want from women is probably too busy doing just that to be
offering advice to others. Unless of course they happen to be making a serious income selling dubious advice to
insecure adolescents who somehow think that telling a girl that you're not interested in her represents some kind
of victory. "Yeah! I really dissed her!" High-fives all around! And you go home with your hand!
If you're a
man, you represent yourself as who you are. You act on the very simple gut feelings that make a man a man. If
there's a woman that interests you, show her who you are. Who you REALLY are. NOT what some opportunistic script
peddler is trying to make you think that she's going to be attracted to.
If who you really are isn't good
enough for the girl that you want, find another one. It would be stupid, that's right, STUPID, to compromise your
integrity for the sake of a lifetime, or even one single night with a woman who isn't truly interested in the man
that you are, the man that you are unwilling to betray.
Have some self respect!
I was getting laid long
before using pheromones, and long before I started reading any of the various seduction schemes that seem to be
everywhere nowadays. The single best thing that I've gotten from any of these methods that is worth passing on to
any man who wishes to have success with women is something that shows up in various forms in many of the available
sources. I've seen it listed as the "three second rule", the "ten second rule" and so on, but the gist is "Do Not
Hesitate". Before you can think up some reason not to speak to a woman who has caught your eye, or before some other
guy with bigger balls than you moves in before you can get there, go and say "Hello" to the girl. If after you've
said hello, you are not man enough to make the girl interested in you, then you simply don't deserve her.
These
guys who are taking your money giving you this shitty advice are laughing all the way to the bank. And as cocky and
funny as you THINK you are, they are not laughing WITH you!
When you choose to pretend to be someone that you
aren't, you're conceding that who you are is inadequate.
If it makes you feel better, you can send me money
for this advice. If you don't like my advice, then all you have to do is tell me that you've had 35 years of
success getting laid with YOUR methods and I'll be happy to debate mine with you.
Oscar :)
Pherozen
11-10-2004, 02:21 AM
VERY Nicely put OSCAR. Everything
that I wanted to say, but said in a much more mature fasion, to say the least. Bravo :goodpost:
belgareth
11-10-2004, 04:37 AM
Excellent Oscar! I wish I could
have said it as well. Every bit of it's true too.:cheers:
Pancho1188
11-10-2004, 06:39 AM
Pancho i agree
with your whole post except those 2 points. if there's no attraction you can still create attraction. That's the
whole idea of cold approaching, it is not guaranteed tho b/c you'll still get shot down. you can display higher
value while cutting down her value with C&F or other seduction techniques if you do it right.
if you say it the
right way or acting like "you can't have me" will work if you know how to do it. that is if you get the opportunity
to run your game.
Point taken. Notice that I said "at any given time". You are talking about creating
attraction over a period of time, which is possible. People change their minds frequently. I won't argue that.
The people who can pull off what you're talking about are good actors and can reproduce the aura of doing what I
said without actually moving on (or the girls are gullible). In my opinion, it's easier just to do the real thing
than to fake it. People who can't pull off the act just end up coming off as a jerk (ignoring, etc.) to the person
they like. If you can do it, though, more power to you.
I don't condone cutting down other people's value,
but I think what you're trying to say is show that you are of value because if she doesn't like you then you have
plenty of other things (people) you could be doing. That's not cutting down her value, that's just showing your
value. That's good advice because many women do like a man who is in demand...another point I cannot argue.
phinmone
11-10-2004, 07:54 AM
well i would say the fact is,
when you do everything for a woman and do everything she tells you to do, you are not anymore in control.
consequently she get bored. she wants to turn you into a nice boy, her little toy doormat. if there is no tension in
the relationship, the attraction disappears because attraction is not a choice (!). why most women stay in these
boring relationships? it is the feeling of being secure and just to have somebody there who does everything for them
and to tell all about their nonexisting problems. as a result some cheat and / or turn into a friend. friend = NO
ATTRACTION = no sex, no passion.
@gegogi: you said "I have no shortage of intelligent and attractive women in
my life." yes, you can have attractive women in your life, as friends or maybe short term relationships. but after a
few years in a relationship, if you stay as a "nice boy" who does everything for her, they loose the feeling of
attraction. women unconsciously want to be lead by a man. when no leading takes place from man's side, the woman
takes control and turns the man into a nice (guy and a) DOORMAT.
but for men's SAKE, there are several ways
to get out of the WUSSY LAND. just search!
phinmone
Holmes
11-10-2004, 08:18 AM
When you choose to
pretend to be someone that you aren't, you're conceding that who you are is inadequate.
True. But
how does one improve or build on his or her existing social abilities without even temporarily "pretending" to be
someone they aren't?
They stop thinking about women, and
start thinking about themselves.
Obviously, how many guys want to do that?
got2bmocareful
11-10-2004, 08:36 AM
DeMOKill:
check this
out maybe it will
help:
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/goals.htm
hope its
not to late.
belgareth
11-10-2004, 08:41 AM
well i would
say the fact is, when you do everything for a woman and do everything she tells you to do, you are not anymore in
control. consequently she get bored. she wants to turn you into a nice boy, her little toy doormat. if there is no
tension in the relationship, the attraction disappears because attraction is not a choice (!). why most women stay
in these boring relationships? it is the feeling of being secure and just to have somebody there who does everything
for them and to tell all about their nonexisting problems. as a result some cheat and / or turn into a friend.
friend = NO ATTRACTION = no sex, no passion.
@gegogi: you said "I have no shortage of intelligent and attractive
women in my life." yes, you can have attractive women in your life, as friends or maybe short term relationships.
but after a few years in a relationship, if you stay as a "nice boy" who does everything for her, they loose the
feeling of attraction. women unconsciously want to be lead by a man. when no leading takes place from man's side,
the woman takes control and turns the man into a nice (guy and a) DOORMAT.
but for men's SAKE, there are
several ways to get out of the WUSSY LAND. just search!
phinmone
I don't recall anybody saying
anything about doing everything for her. Where did you get that? Many of us believe in acting like gentlemen and
have great results with it. We don't have the need to play power games because we are sure of who and what we are.
We are perfectly capable of walking away from any woman. Women respect that. But that never includes behaving like a
jerk.
Gegogi
11-10-2004, 12:02 PM
"well i would say the fact
is, when you do everything for a woman and do everything she tells you to do, you are not anymore in control.
consequently she get bored. she wants to turn you into a nice boy, her little toy doormat. if there is no tension in
the relationship, the attraction disappears because attraction is not a choice (!)."
Like
belgareth (member.php?u=122) said, I didn't imply or say I did
everything for a woman. I have my own life, a busy one in fact. Most of the time women come after me. However, I
don't treat them like a doormat but I still treat them with respect. I expect the same from them or I show them the
door.
Pherozen
11-10-2004, 12:19 PM
True. But how does
one improve or build on his or her existing social abilities without even temporarily "pretending" to be someone
they aren't?
You can explore the world without pretending. People can respect others exploring new
things, but can smell a fraud a mile away. Value yourself and increase your value, no need to show it just get out
in the world and have new experiences. Women smell value, you don't have to hack theirs down and force them to see
it, they know.
Pancho1188
11-10-2004, 01:09 PM
"It's the new Jan Brady!"
:)
I would say that you're just trying to improve on your own ability...not trying to be someone you're not.
Asking someone to dance when you're afraid of rejection isn't being someone you're not per se...acting like a
hardass when you're very laid back isn't going to help you...
eric_pelletier_tw
11-10-2004, 10:05 PM
Questions..
1- how
do you make yourself look like you have a life if you have none.Also how can you date a 2nd woman if you can't get
the first one ... [phersurf?]
2- how do i get rid of that looser &/or gay tag ppl keep putting on me ? [btw is
it possible to have a gay "scent" phero wise when your not ?(nol/rhone ?)]
3- [unrelated to tread ] how comme i
can put like 1/2 - 2/3 a pack of TE Gel & i cant even put a drop of soe(gel/men/scented)?
eric_pelletier_tw
11-10-2004, 10:20 PM
pke ? value? a whoman
dont see value in good men the see value in bastards & pricks & f*kers, all the cute girls i know at least ... god
knows why ...
im probably the nicest guy a girl can dream of:polite gentelmen nice cudlely affectionate ---->
trash can !!! #$% (!!!#@$%)#
ive met dozens of girls "dated" a few .the only one i found was
100miles away looked a every other guy around & was so childish i could barely stand it.& the worst is that i had to
quit her cose my wallet was too thin ...
so id say : she dosent give a dam about you ?treat her the same way ! &
get somone else for real (dont fake it)that gives a dam about you ...girls always get the uper hand anyway!
Pherozen
11-10-2004, 10:35 PM
Whoa there you have some issues.
You sound like a real jack ass, no offense. First off we all have our preferences and value different things. To
me it sounds like you're only being a cuddly gentleman as you put it because you want something from the girl.
Wantingness (not really a word) and neediness is repulsive regardless of what sex you are. It's not about being
super nice or being a big jerkoff. Just be comfortable in your own shoes and people will take notice. Sounds to me
like you'd be giving off a pretty tense vibe in person. That's not usually fun. And from your comment about your
wallet being thin, I can see that you probably give off the impression, that well you're trying to impress (which
ironically is very unimpressive). I never spend money on girls and they don't mind. Any girl that's stuck on
your wallet probably isn't a good choice anyways. And Girls rarely have the upper hand (they just think they do),
Trust me these same girls with the upper hand usually have a more valuable guy (to them) and are probably thinking
the same thing (guys always have the upper hand) bla blah. Girls aren't treating you like sh*t. If they aren't
interested that's that, you're just taking it wrong.
eric_pelletier_tw
11-10-2004, 10:56 PM
qwiky : i dont realy
spend money on girls (i dont have any !)
im not taking it wrong(i think) im just being so unlucky ... thats all
[when girls ditch you after 5min on a date i call that being a bitch... thats diffrent & has happend to me]
so far
my time,money & attention hasnt paid off ... like Dr D.A. put it im not rich, im not famous & im soso (as far as
cute goes) what was that last one again ?... cocky & funny ? [well i dont supose a computer guy is much of
that...]
DeMoKiLL
11-11-2004, 05:02 AM
First rule of thumb: Never
spend too much money on a girl for the first 5 dates! Go to a place where you can chat, like dinner, park, not the
movies etc. And if a girl KNOWS she has the upper hand, then your done for and she won't find you attractive.
Pherozen
11-11-2004, 05:56 AM
Forget the cocky and funny and
forget of thinking about this as some sort of investment (time, money, attention). And I'm going to have to
disagree with everything being about having the upper hand. I've left dates after 5 minutes and don't feel like a
bad person, if two people don't click, they don't click. Luck has nothing to do with getting women (Unless you
find that magic "THE ONE"), maybe you should make a lot of girls your friends, and build some social skills. But
remember when they are your friends don't try to convert them to your girlfriend, just be friends. And when you
feel comfortable go out with them (being around lots of girls makes it easy to get and meet other girls) and find
that "lucky" lady. Those girlfriends would help you out if you need. When I take a girl out, I try to avoid boring
chats and would go somewhere playful. Like a waterpark or something. Having the upper hand isn't necessary for
attraction, I almost wish I could be on the lower hand sometimes. Having less power seems to make everything more
fulfilling, Alas I haven't meant anybody worthy of this since middle school.
Have_Courage
11-21-2004, 02:35 PM
##########
top_dawwgs
11-21-2004, 02:47 PM
good points... but i wouldnt
agree with the go out with her friends idea. That just leads to more headaches than any guy needs. The whole,
jealous game may be fun for awhile. but the bitching about it gets old very fast. I dont think its worth it in the
long run. Find some other girl who makes u happy. But not one of her friends to date.
Have_Courage
11-21-2004, 02:56 PM
##########
Pherozen
11-22-2004, 02:08 AM
Wow that's last post is perfect
about Letting Go. Whoever wrote that poem or whatever nailed it.
Have_Courage
11-22-2004, 02:19 AM
##########
MOBLEYC57
11-22-2004, 05:53 AM
:box:
It is
hard to do, but it's the best thing you can do for yourself.
On this big'ol round ball we call Earth,
tis all about the choice(s) one makes. To translate that ... tis mind over matter. :rant: We often makes
things much harder than they are ... tis that brain thingy that's in fault, and needs to be tamed.:whip:
j5fakt0r
11-22-2004, 06:53 AM
That poem is so true and I wish
I could follow it myself...
Have_Courage
11-22-2004, 07:58 PM
##########
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