MOBLEYC57
10-16-2004, 07:56 AM
IF you have had any of these conversations with women, and
their responses kind of match these ... stop looking to see if she twirls her hair, touches you, looks at you twice,
points her foot at you, or plays with her necklace....she AIN'T interested! :blink: :rant: :blink:
Man: "So what do you do for a
living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Haven't we met
before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist
at the Venereal Disease Clinic."
Man:
"Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my
place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two
people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place
or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and
I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to
call you. What's your number?"
Woman:
"It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I
don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in
the phone book too."
Man: "What sign were
you born under?"
Woman: "No
Parking."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your
sign?"
Woman: "Do Not
Enter."
Man: "How do you like your eggs in
the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some
chicks!"
Man: "I can tell that you want
me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want
you to leave."
Man: "Hey cutie, how
'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty
soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm
pretty now?"
Man: "Your hair color is
fabulous."
Woman: "Thank you. It's in aisle
three at the corner drug store."
Man:
"Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry,
there are no services today."
Man: "I'd
go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good!
Let's start with your bank account."
May Saturday find you warm, dry, content,
and feeling just groovey! Cheers! :cheers:
P.S. Anything other than a Rose
There was once a
great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theater
where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says, "This is the most important
part, and it has only one line, you must walk on to the stage carrying a rose, you must hold the rose with just one
finger and your thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line, 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"
The
actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally the time
came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line; "Ah, the
sweet aroma of my mistress."
The theater erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was
steaming!
"You fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"
The actor was bewildered, "What happened? Did I forget
my line?" he asked.
"No, you idiot!" the director screamed, "You forgot the rose!"
their responses kind of match these ... stop looking to see if she twirls her hair, touches you, looks at you twice,
points her foot at you, or plays with her necklace....she AIN'T interested! :blink: :rant: :blink:
Man: "So what do you do for a
living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Haven't we met
before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist
at the Venereal Disease Clinic."
Man:
"Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my
place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two
people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place
or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and
I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to
call you. What's your number?"
Woman:
"It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I
don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in
the phone book too."
Man: "What sign were
you born under?"
Woman: "No
Parking."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your
sign?"
Woman: "Do Not
Enter."
Man: "How do you like your eggs in
the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some
chicks!"
Man: "I can tell that you want
me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want
you to leave."
Man: "Hey cutie, how
'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
Man: "May I see you pretty
soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm
pretty now?"
Man: "Your hair color is
fabulous."
Woman: "Thank you. It's in aisle
three at the corner drug store."
Man:
"Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry,
there are no services today."
Man: "I'd
go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good!
Let's start with your bank account."
May Saturday find you warm, dry, content,
and feeling just groovey! Cheers! :cheers:
P.S. Anything other than a Rose
There was once a
great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theater
where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says, "This is the most important
part, and it has only one line, you must walk on to the stage carrying a rose, you must hold the rose with just one
finger and your thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line, 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"
The
actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally the time
came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line; "Ah, the
sweet aroma of my mistress."
The theater erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was
steaming!
"You fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"
The actor was bewildered, "What happened? Did I forget
my line?" he asked.
"No, you idiot!" the director screamed, "You forgot the rose!"