MOBLEYC57
09-29-2004, 06:30 PM
RABBI -VS- THE IRS:rasp:
After getting a job at the IRS, a young hotshot gets his first assignment,
auditing an aging rabbi. Arriving at the synagogue, he decides to have a little fun with the Rabbi. "Rabbi," he
says, "what do you do with your candle drippings?"
The elder Rabbi, a bit surprised by the question, replies
"Well, we send them to the candle factory, and every once in a while, they send us a free candle."
"I see," the
taxman says. "And what about the crumbs from your table?"
The rabbi looks at him, again taken aback. "Well, we
send them to the matzo-ball factory, and every once in a while, they send us a free jar of matzo balls."
Nodding, the auditor asks his final question. "So tell me," he asks, furrowing his brow, "What do you do with the
foreskins from circumcisions?"
By now, the rabbi is fed up. "Well, we send them to the IRS," he answers slowly.
"And every once in a while, they send us a little prick .... like you!"
BEWARE OF.....DIRTY OLD LADIES!:run:
A good looking biker stops by the Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he
said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a
bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he
now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home.
The owner said, "Put the anvil in the bucket and
carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand."
"Hey,
thanks!" the biker said, and out the door he went. But in the parking lot he was approached by a little old lady who
told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well,
as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be
there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously and then said, "I am a lonely widow without a
husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't push me against the wall face first,
pin my wrist against the wall over my head, pull up my skirt, tare off my panites, and ravish me reallllllllll good,
from behind!?"
The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose.
How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The lady said, "Set the goose
down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."
MIRACLES OF
THE...BLUE PILL!:lovestruc
Grandpa and Grandma were spending the weekend with their son and daughter-in-law.
Grandpa noticed that his son had a bottle of Viagra and asked if he could have one. His son said, "Dad, I don't
think you should take one they're very strong and expensive."
Grandpa said, "I know, but I want to try one.
How much are they?"
His son replied, "$10 each."
Grandpa only had a $50 bill but was going to the bank. He
told his son that he would leave $10 under his pillow that night.
The next morning his son found $110 under his
pillow and said, "Dad, I told you it was only $10. There's $110 under my pillow!!"
Grandpa said, "That's ok,
the other $100 is from Grandma."
TOP 20 FEMALE BUMPER STICKERS!:wub:
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT
AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
14. WARNING: I
HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
12.
NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE ... WHO
CARES?
10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
Annnnnd the number one tag is.....
1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
Any ladies wanna hold my chickens? :wub:
After getting a job at the IRS, a young hotshot gets his first assignment,
auditing an aging rabbi. Arriving at the synagogue, he decides to have a little fun with the Rabbi. "Rabbi," he
says, "what do you do with your candle drippings?"
The elder Rabbi, a bit surprised by the question, replies
"Well, we send them to the candle factory, and every once in a while, they send us a free candle."
"I see," the
taxman says. "And what about the crumbs from your table?"
The rabbi looks at him, again taken aback. "Well, we
send them to the matzo-ball factory, and every once in a while, they send us a free jar of matzo balls."
Nodding, the auditor asks his final question. "So tell me," he asks, furrowing his brow, "What do you do with the
foreskins from circumcisions?"
By now, the rabbi is fed up. "Well, we send them to the IRS," he answers slowly.
"And every once in a while, they send us a little prick .... like you!"
BEWARE OF.....DIRTY OLD LADIES!:run:
A good looking biker stops by the Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he
said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a
bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he
now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home.
The owner said, "Put the anvil in the bucket and
carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand."
"Hey,
thanks!" the biker said, and out the door he went. But in the parking lot he was approached by a little old lady who
told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"
The biker said, "Well,
as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be
there in no time."
The little old lady looked him over cautiously and then said, "I am a lonely widow without a
husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't push me against the wall face first,
pin my wrist against the wall over my head, pull up my skirt, tare off my panites, and ravish me reallllllllll good,
from behind!?"
The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose.
How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The lady said, "Set the goose
down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."
MIRACLES OF
THE...BLUE PILL!:lovestruc
Grandpa and Grandma were spending the weekend with their son and daughter-in-law.
Grandpa noticed that his son had a bottle of Viagra and asked if he could have one. His son said, "Dad, I don't
think you should take one they're very strong and expensive."
Grandpa said, "I know, but I want to try one.
How much are they?"
His son replied, "$10 each."
Grandpa only had a $50 bill but was going to the bank. He
told his son that he would leave $10 under his pillow that night.
The next morning his son found $110 under his
pillow and said, "Dad, I told you it was only $10. There's $110 under my pillow!!"
Grandpa said, "That's ok,
the other $100 is from Grandma."
TOP 20 FEMALE BUMPER STICKERS!:wub:
20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
18. ALL STRESSED OUT
AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
14. WARNING: I
HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
13. AND YOUR POINT IS?
12.
NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES
11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE ... WHO
CARES?
10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
2. GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
Annnnnd the number one tag is.....
1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
Any ladies wanna hold my chickens? :wub: