Question about body language

[lordcrazyd]

I know

there are many books concerning this subject, but is there a way to learn this subconciously. I mean sure i can read

signs and such but how do i learn it for myself. in other words how can learn body language and use it in a

conversation. It seems so weird if i try that i bet most women can see right through it. I dunno anyone have any

suggestions. I noticed that usually when i speak no one pays attention. I believe its because i have about 0% body

language... its very frustrating..

[Shiver]

That's a tough one. The way you

move, gesture and hold yourself is the result of a lot of practise and conditioning. I've seen many references

stating that learning a new habit takes about 3-4 weeks, so I guess you could fake it until it becomes a natural

part of who you are.

I tried this with my voice. I've grown up speaking quite quietly, mumbling and not

wanting to attract too much attention. I've had to force myself consciously to get my tonality right, which seemed

quite unnatural at first, but came along quite nicely after a while. I was amazed at the difference in peoples

reaction to you just by talking clearly, slower, and with a little more volume of air. I also find I get ignored

less.

Next thing I need is to learn to smile without looking patronising or an axe murderer. That one's

proving a little tougher :)

Have you tried mirroring then leading for creating rapport?

[lordcrazyd]

i've used mirroring and its

not bad, i can easily mimic eye contact and body movements. Even sometimes repeat what they say. Besides that i'm

just a slug sitting down. My dad has great body language, and i don't. I use to make fun of everyone who spoke with

their hands but now it seems that these people get the most attention. Its like who cares what he's saying he

basically shows you whats he's saying. I wish i had that power. I guess this is due because i used to be very shy

but now i'm outgrowing it but i don't think i can learn this conciously its to embarrasing and difficult.




btw
i'm at the school library as we speak. and while i'm reading the forum. Anyway this girl walked right

behind me stopped looked at me paused and sat to the computer next to me. It was a strange look like wtf did i just

do look lol.


Oh also i have that same look. Some girls say i have a creepy smile. That sometimes they can't

tell if its evil or friendly. I stated before that i just have one of those natural pissed off faces. Its a real

disadvantage but i doubt i'm getting any plastic surgeory to correct it. Maybe i'll get botox and have a

permanant smile.

[bjf]

Shiver, any books or resources on the

net you used to learn about vocal tonality and voice stuff?

[Shiver]

btw
i'm at

the school library as we speak. and while i'm reading the forum. Anyway this girl walked right behind me stopped

looked at me paused and sat to the computer next to me. It was a strange look like wtf did i just do look

lol.
Do you have any mones on right now? or is this a body language issue?



Oh also

i have that same look. Some girls say i have a creepy smile. That sometimes they can't tell if its evil or

friendly. I stated before that i just have one of those natural pissed off faces. Its a real disadvantage but i

doubt i'm getting any plastic surgeory to correct it. Maybe i'll get botox and have a permanant smile.When

I was 12 or 13years old I had a bike accident that chipped one of my front teeth. The dentist wouldn't do anything

with it because he said the tooth wasn't mature enough to cap it. I was very self conscious of it and *never* ever

smiled because of it until I could get it fixed as a 16y/o. I often wondered if this influenced the facial muscles.

Recently though I was speaking to my mum who is now in her late 60's, and she says that she's had the same thing

all her life, where people would say things like 'cheer up, It might never happen' - several times a day, when she

was actually feeling very happy.

BJF: I don't have any specific resources. I just learned the importance of

tonality from the days when I used to trawl the ASF type sites. The only one I pay any attention to now though is

DYD.

[TheViking]

ASF?
DYD?

Thanks :)

[Shiver]

ASF: Alt.Seduction.Fast
DYD:

www.DoubleYourDating.com (http://www.DoubleYourDating.com)

[TheViking]

Thank you :D

[Friendly1]

You need to stand up straight

when you speak if you want to project your best voice. Consciously pulling your shoulders back helps you open up,

believe it or not.

I have actually had some interesting silent conversations with women through body language.

When I am in a large crowd for any length of time, I pick a woman and start to mirror her body language.

Eventually, if she has noticed me in any way, she'll generally start to mirror mine in return. I make no effort on

these target practice occasions to try to talk to the women. I just build a silent rapport with them and move on

when whatever brought us there is over.

The first time I tried this was during a movie. But I have done it in

restaurants, at the grocery store, and in other settings.

Sometimes, if I do want to say something to a girl,

and if she seems very closed, I'll walk up to her, mirror whatever she is doing, and then exaggerate it. So, if

she is standing with her arms crossed, I will cross mine and put on a mean expression, making a big deal out of it.

Most of the time, the girl will laugh and open up. Then I will mirror her next stance, and so on. It doesn't

always work, but it often works on strangers.

It sometimes works on nieces, too. Very useful tool for when the

younger relatives get frustrated with the dirty old uncle who flirts with all the girls.

[Ravn]

ASF:

Alt.Seduction.Fast
DYD: www.DoubleYourDating.com (http://www.DoubleYourDating.com)
So I

clicked your little link there. and to me it seems like this guy's just after my hard earned cash! I do not trust

sites like that... Does this stuff really work? Or is it all talk and I pay?:blink:

[Shiver]

So I clicked your

little link there. and to me it seems like this guy's just after my hard earned cash! I do not trust sites like

that... Does this stuff really work? Or is it all talk and I pay?:blink:
I think the monthly interview

DVD's are fantastic as are the advanced CD/DVD sets, but the e-book I'm only lukewarm about (it was the first

thing he ever wrote several years back).

My advice would be not to spend anything and instead sign up to the

weekly email. It's a kind of Q&A format from customers and non customers alike. I know its real because I've

written to it myself a couple of times and had them appear.

I think somewhere on the site there are some sample

video and mp3's to give you an idea of the content. Of course this isn't the only show in town and there are

plenty of competing products that are worth exploring.

[phersurf]

I'm hearing very good things

about the DYD advanced series.

I currently use with great success (which I talked abut in detail in the other

body language thread) Nonverbal Sexual Cuing.

It will also set you back some $$.

[Ravn]

Thanx guys! I might just try this

stuff out...

No harm in trying anyway. It isn't THAT expensive.