Omg! I can never get a 1 on 1

[Snoopy]

To those

who haven't been following my situation:
Been in a "just friends" relationship with a girl for 3 years. We then

went seperate ways to different colleges and now this summer I started hanging out with her again and it seems like

she's looking at me differently. Locking eyes, flirting like crazy, she's always calling me and inviting herself

over.

Well, the thing is, I can never get a 1 on 1 situation with her. The -mones seem to be working EXTREMELY

well with her (Chikara + TE gel which is running out, getting NPA this week though) but I can never get a solid

close with her (ie. holding hands, kiss, not even a cuddle or hug). I just invited her over to watch a movie

tomorrow... and she wants to invite our other friend. Why does it seem like she is avoiding 1 on 1 with me? I'm

afraid to step things up another level with others around... I'd feel much easier doing it 1 on 1 but as I said

before... I can never get it. Should I just go for it anyway, with others around?

[TRock]

or if she brings a girl friend.

try to have more fun with her friend.

[camusflage]

or if she brings a

girl friend. try to have more fun with her friend.
That's one tack to take, but it could backfire in a

big way. She may just write you off rather than give you a "WTF?" If you do get that, offer that you're interested,

but it seems she's not. That puts the ball back in her court to make the next move.

[TRock]

i don't mean try to do her friend

but just seem like it's more fun to hang out with her friend. nobody is dating anybody from what i understand?

she'll get jealous and try to get his attention.

[InternationalPlayboy]

Why

does it seem like she is avoiding 1 on 1 with me? I'm afraid to step things up another level with others around...

I'd feel much easier doing it 1 on 1 but as I said before... I can never get it. Should I just go for it anyway,

with others around?

I got a feeling reading your post from the other day, when you mentioned she

brought her family along to visit. I think she's including chaperons so she'll be "safe." Either she doesn't want

the relationship to go deeper and senses that you do, so is trying to discourage your advances, or she's scared by

the feelings of attraction she gets from being around you.

Just my opinion. I saw something similar with a

girl I used to work with who had been in an abusive relationship. She didn't want to get involved with any guys

after that. She left where I worked and coincidentally started working where my brother does. He developed the hots

for her and asked her out to go Jet Skiing. When she showed up for the date with her little nieces and nephews in

tow, I realized that she brought them along so my brother wouldn't be able to act on any ideas he may have had.

[Canucky Guy]

She could also be probing to

see how bold you are and hoping for an audience.

[lordcrazyd]

yeah, i have to agree. Snoppy

i think you have to take the initiative. I have the same problem with a girl who likes me but treats me like a

friend. Its the weirdest thing. Anyway, I feel like you have to make a move.. I think she is somewhat interested in

you but doesn't want to come on strong. I think you have to try and ask her out on a date. Take her somewhere nice

and when your walking walk behind her and hug her or something. Make her feel comfartable. Then when she's speaking

to you and looks at u try and go for a kiss, she may pull away but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to. If you

want this girl for more than a friend you have to show her that...

[Snoopy]

yeah, i have to

agree. Snoppy i think you have to take the initiative. I have the same problem with a girl who likes me but treats

me like a friend. Its the weirdest thing. Anyway, I feel like you have to make a move.. I think she is somewhat

interested in you but doesn't want to come on strong. I think you have to try and ask her out on a date. Take her

somewhere nice and when your walking walk behind her and hug her or something. Make her feel comfartable. Then when

she's speaking to you and looks at u try and go for a kiss, she may pull away but that doesn't mean she doesn't

want to. If you want this girl for more than a friend you have to show her that...
Formally ask her out on

a date? I've been trying to avoid that, since I've been in a pervious "let's just be friends" relationship with

her.. where I've liked her and she didn't like me. If something formal like a dinner or a date gets thrown at her,

I'm pretty sure alarms will be going off in her head...

[Canucky Guy]

Nah, you're just afraid of

rejection. We all are.

But this is why you're using pheremones, isn't it? To try and tilt the scales more in

your favour? But they're not going to cause women to throw themselves at you, you still need to actually do

something if you want anything to go anywhere.

[Snoopy]

Nah, you're

just afraid of rejection. We all are.

But this is why you're using pheremones, isn't it? To try and tilt the

scales more in your favour? But they're not going to cause women to throw themselves at you, you still need to

actually do something if you want anything to go anywhere.
True, I'm afraid of being rejected a

third (yes, third) time. I'm in the moving on phase, but she's just showing every single sign of attraction I

might as well just try one more time with her. I'm worried a lot about what others think, and she does act a little

less open around me when others are around. The only times I'm alone with her is when my friends go off to do

something else for a short while (which is rare) or while I'm driving her home (which is a silly 5 minute

drive)...

[Canucky Guy]

...she's just

showing every single sign of attraction I might as well just try one more time with her.That's the

spirit!

Sort of...

[Snoopy]

I'd go for it it if others

weren't around dammit! But they're always there!!!

And summer's running out! We're splitting up for school

soon...

[TRock]

you know if this is the 3rd time

you're gonna try it. i think you should sit back and let things happen. i think she will just reject you based off

of the last 2 rejections, if you make the move. you will appear needy and have no other options. save your ego for

another girl.

[Snoopy]

you know if this is

the 3rd time you're gonna try it. i think you should sit back and let things happen. i think she will just reject

you based off of the last 2 rejections. you will appear needy and have no other options. save your ego for another

girl.
So in other words, wait for her to make a move first?

[Canucky Guy]

Ew, bad bad tactics!

If

you're getting all the right signs, throw an extra spray of Chic on and go in strong. Women can smell fear...it's

10 times more powerful than mones as far as their olfactorys are concerned.

[TRock]

if i was in your situation i would

sit back and make her want you. use the mones to your advantage and target her female friends. have more fun with

them then you have with her. if those girls think you are cool, they talk about it among themselves. and if she is

hotter than her friends and you pay more attention to her friends that should make her want you to give her

attention.

[TRock]

Ew, bad bad

tactics!

If you're getting all the right signs, throw an extra spray of Chic on and go in strong. Women can

smell fear...it's 10 times more powerful than mones as far as their olfactorys are concerned.

bad

tactics if there's no history but these 2 have a history. and he's been shot down twice, think stever urkel or

screech. from what she does with the chaperones, i have a feeling it will be a tko if he makes another move.

[Canucky Guy]

I'm trying not to think

Steve Urkel or Screech. Successful guys have had to try multiple times too.

Regardless, the playing on the

jealousy thing can sometimes work, but if it backfires, it can make a horrible, horrible mess. Especially if

there's an ongoing friendship already in the works. I've been there.

[Snoopy]

bad tactics if

there's no history but these 2 have a history. and he's been shot down twice, think stever urkel or screech. from

what she does with the chaperones, i have a feeling it will be a tko if he makes another move.
TKO is what

I'm scared of. I'd rather her like me and things never get going right now, then totally bomb out and screw up our

relationship. I can always try again next summer, hell we live 5 minutes from each other, but I don't want things

going to wierd land since she's also a really good friend of mine.

I think I'm going to stick with TRock's

advice and just lay back for now. If things get really heated, like she starts giving me DIHL's and stuff, then I

will go ahead and try some SMALL moves like touching her hand or something.

[Unknownshadow21]

According to DeAngelo

you can't force Attraction, I would just move ON.

[Snoopy]

According

to DeAngelo you can't force Attraction, I would just move ON.Perhaps you haven't been following closely.

She is VERY attracted to me. She locks eyes with me, foot-flirts with me under tables, I can sit close to her

without her budging, she opens up to me, calls me almost every single day asking when she can see me next. I'm not

forcing any of this on her...

I am simply asking if I should make a move or not, since we are never truly alone

together - most of the time friends or family are in the same room and every attempt to get a 1on1 with her turns

into multiple persons.

[Unknownshadow21]

Alright, make your move

then.

[TRock]

yeah but the key word is

friendship. neither have told the other one that they're interested in each other like "that". nobody is dating

anybody from what i understand. that means they're free to flirt or do whatever with anybody they want.

but the

jealously thing isn't fool proof. in my opinion i would try the jealousy thing again instead of trying to make the

move. he has the mones working for him. if she thinks she's gonna lose him she'll make sure she won't by stepping

her game up. right now he's not really in control of the situation that's the problem. he wants her but doesn't

know that she wants him.

[Snoopy]

TRock is right. I'm not 100%

sure that she likes me, since I know there are other guys she goes out with and she mentions a particular one to me

a lot (but I never question it). Both of us are single, she and I have been close friends for 3-4 years now, kind of

like a neighbour too since she and I are separated by a park - a 10 minute walk at most. We never have a problem

getting together at each other's house to watch a movie or something, and curfew isn't much of a problem either

since we live so close.

[TRock]

fastseduction.com has a player's

forum. i've never been there myself, eventually i will but i'm sure you can get some good advice from the players

in the forum. i wouldn't take everybody's advice or choose the advice i like though. you're probably better off

taking advice from somebody with a high post count.

[Friendly1]

Snoopy, just tell her you want

to watch a movie with her, no one else, and leave it at that. Say nothing more. She either says yes or no. If she

says no, then you reply,
"Some other time, then." AND YOU DO SOMETHING ELSE.

End it there. She'll come back

with a counter-offer.

You have made this into such a complicated mess. Yes, she wants chaperones. You

shouldn't have a problem with that. You just need to lay down the ground rules. You are letting her control

everything and what has that got you?

Just be a man, say, "Look, I just want to spend an evening watching a

movie with you and no one else. Let me know when you want it to happen."

Period.

End of discussion.



It's as simple as that.

[Friendly1]

And quit analyzing. You've so

screwed yourself up with bad analysis, you're never going to get anywhere with this girl. You're letting what

sounds like a great girl slip through your fingers.

Worse yet, if you keep going with all these convoluted

schemes, you're just going to throw her away to be picked up by the first guy with some real confidence who comes

along.

So far, friend, that ain't you. You cannot change HER, but you can change YOURSELF.

Do it.

[Canucky Guy]

Snoopy, just

tell her you want to watch a movie with her, no one else, and leave it at that. Say nothing more. She either says

yes or no. If she says no, then you reply,
"Some other time, then." AND YOU DO SOMETHING ELSE.

End it there.

She'll come back with a counter-offer.

You have made this into such a complicated mess. Yes, she wants

chaperones. You shouldn't have a problem with that. You just need to lay down the ground rules. You are letting her

control everything and what has that got you?

Just be a man, say, "Look, I just want to spend an evening

watching a movie with you and no one else. Let me know when you want it to happen."

Period.

End of

discussion.

It's as simple as that.Wish I could have said it that simply.

And quit

analyzing. You've so screwed yourself up with bad analysis, you're never going to get anywhere with this girl.

You're letting what sounds like a great girl slip through your fingers.

Worse yet, if you keep going with all

these convoluted schemes, you're just going to throw her away to be picked up by the first guy with some real

confidence who comes along.

So far, friend, that ain't you. You cannot change HER, but you can change

YOURSELF.

Do it.Wow, this guy's good.

[Pancho1188]

Snoopy, just

tell her you want to watch a movie with her, no one else, and leave it at that. Say nothing more. She either says

yes or no. If she says no, then you reply,
"Some other time, then." AND YOU DO SOMETHING ELSE.

End it there.

She'll come back with a counter-offer.

You have made this into such a complicated mess. Yes, she wants

chaperones. You shouldn't have a problem with that. You just need to lay down the ground rules. You are letting her

control everything and what has that got you?

Just be a man, say, "Look, I just want to spend an evening

watching a movie with you and no one else. Let me know when you want it to happen."

Period.

End of

discussion.

It's as simple as that.
I agree with this. However, since I believe Snoopy will think

that this is a very...harsh is the only word I can think of...thing to say, I'd suggest using, "Actually, I wanted

to hang out with just you because there's something I really need to talk to you about."

Something along those

lines. Similar to what Friendly said above, "Let me know when we can do that."

You can be a man without giving

a straight-up ultimatum. I know because I've given the ultimatum, and push leads to push-back.

[phinmone]

i agree with friendly1 and

trock. don't analyse, be more with her friends. make her want you. snoopy, correct me if i'm wrong, but you've

read the DYD-ebook? what's the deal? read it 10 more times and take action. you said summer is gonna be over soon

and you're gonna be in different schools again, separated. so, what do you have to loose? just make her want you,

make her chase you. be busy and do not call her back always, when she calls you. make it easy and simple. the more

desperate you seem to her, the easier she playes YOU! take control immediately, because she controls you now.

period! stop doing things that do not work and instead do things that work! hehe, simple and easy! if she is really

attracted to you, then you have no hard times creating anticipation and she will want you badly after awhile, DO

IT!

[bjf]

I'm so sick of hearing about this

girl. Be a man Snoopy and get some closure on this, either way.

[Snoopy]

I'm not doing that much to chase

her! She complains to me that I'm always busy, but I tell her that's just the way it is! I never call her, she

always calls me. My cell phone's recent call list is filled with her name. She's invited me out for dinner (with

friends) more than twice, and most of the times when we do decide to do something, it's because it was her idea and

I just had nothing better to do that day anyway.

I'm just sitting here and she's throwing herself at me. I'm

afraid of falling into the friends trap again, that's why I haven't been calling her back and why I've been

trying to occupy myself so I'm not going out with her every second. I've been limiting myself to seeing her twice

a week and have been spreading those days out as much as possible.

I know I'm probably being supremely naive,

but why is she always inviting me out with OTHER friends? Maybe she already sees me as a girlfriend and it's too

late...

Well lately I've been thinking about another girl which I met 2 weeks ago. We hit off well, I can tell

she likes me, but she's not as much fun as the girl I'd like to be with... this one is a little on the shy side.

[Snoopy]

I'm so sick of

hearing about this girl. Be a man Snoopy and get some closure on this, either way.
I can tell everyone is.

I won't post anymore about this until I move forward then.

[phinmone]

Be a man

Snoopy

i agree!

listen snoopy, don't go to a dinner with her friends!!! say to her that you

need to see her in private WITHOUT other people. TAKE CONTROL!!! if she does not agree, MOVE ON and date three other

girls!

if you can't do that, check out the quote! i am not offending you, but we have been reading TONS of

stuff about this girl in this forum and all you do is complain about what she does. take control or if you can't

take it anymore, just let her go! easy + simple!

[Canucky Guy]

I'm not doing

that much to chase her! She complains to me that I'm always busy, but I tell her that's just the way it is! I

never call her, she always calls me. My cell phone's recent call list is filled with her name. She's invited me

out for dinner (with friends) more than twice, and most of the times when we do decide to do something, it's

because it was her idea and I just had nothing better to do that day anyway.

I'm just sitting here and she's

throwing herself at me. I'm afraid of falling into the friends trap again, that's why I haven't been calling her

back and why I've been trying to occupy myself so I'm not going out with her every second. I've been limiting

myself to seeing her twice a week and have been spreading those days out as much as possible.I've been in

this exact same situation, except that she didn't arrange to be with any friends, just us. The reason I DIDN'T

pounce all over it was because she had since gotten married and I knew her husband.

What you need to do is take

a page from David D's book, and "bust her balls" some (while smiling, of course). Especially in front of the

friends. It's a quick way to separate you from the "girls", if you've been labelled as such.

[Friendly1]

I know I'm

probably being supremely naive, but why is she always inviting me out with OTHER friends? Maybe she already sees me

as a girlfriend and it's too late...This is the last time I will comment on this particular girl, Snoopy.

She has given you many chances to take the lead and show her you are a man. You keep wussing out and acting like a

little boy.

You don't deserve the girl if you don't just stand up and say, "Hey. Let's watch a movie. Just

you and me." You don't deserve the girl if you don't lean in and kiss her.

Get off the forums and get on with

your romantic life. No one here can change the way you keep screwing up. We can give you good advice and bad advice,

but until you get some more experience under your belt, you can't tell the difference between good and bad.



Hint: Hind sight gives you pefect perception. You'll know in the aftermath what worked and what didn't.