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TRock
08-14-2004, 08:29 PM
last semster i

was driving this girl to school from her house. i known her for like 4 months prior, never really went on a date b/c

this is college and we don't date. she wasn't my number 1 choice either because there were other girls i was

trying to mess with. i knew and basically the whole group friends that hung out together knew she liked me so

i kept her in my pocket for a rainy day. so as i'm driving her home i tell her i don't want to go to campus yet,

let's go do something else. we figured a place to go, but never went b/c i was dress for the place (sandals and

sweats). so she suggested going back to my room and then she told me she was gonna sleep over too. so i figure i'm

gonna hit it. well after we watched a movie, as we're lying in bed she says we're just friends. so i tell her off

but also do some simping in the process. i asked a bunch of my female friends and gotten so many different

explanations anywhere from she wasn't ready to she was testing me. i wouldn't mind seeing a few more explanations

from anybody willing to give their opinions. and for the record i'm not stuck on this girl, i just want to know

what i did incase i have a similar situation.

Mtnjim
08-16-2004, 09:46 AM
"i just want to know what i did

incase i have a similar situation."

You acted like a friend !!

Pancho1188
08-16-2004, 10:17 AM
i known her for like 4

months prior...i...knew she liked me so i kept her in my pocket for a rainy day.
I think that's

your answer right there, TRock. Not in so many words...and pun intented...but I think she had you down to a T. You

either waited too long or she knows that you're trying to mack it and she doesn't want a "hit it and quit it" kind

of thing. The only reason she'd say that to test you would be to see if you'd be willing to be friends and not

hook up with her, which proves my second theory. Apparently, she was right if you told her off afterwards. I don't

buy the "wasn't ready" bit.

I agree with MJ on the friends thing ("waited too long"), but I also believe that

she was protecting herself ("knows you're trying to mack it"), and I think she did the right thing if she expected

more than you were offering.

If you want a moral to the story or whatever, it's to let it be. Would you rather

have 'hit that' and had this horrible situation where she wanted more and you didn't? Think about it. You're

better off, and so is she.

Again, this is all conjecture from the limited information I am provided.


PS:

No one likes to feel like the "second choice" or the "not Ms. Right but Ms. Right Now"

SweetBrenda
08-16-2004, 10:56 AM
PS: No

one likes to feel like the "second choice" or the "not Ms. Right but Ms. Right

Now"Couldn't have said it better myself.
:kiss:

Friendly1
08-16-2004, 10:25 PM
I agree with MtnJim. Based on

what little you say about that night, I think you could have had her. Or, at the very least, you could have (and

probably should have) refused to let her stay the night if that was all she really wanted. You take intimacy to bed

and you take friends home.

CameraGuy
08-17-2004, 02:36 PM
Couldn't have said it better myself.
:kiss:




Is that because you couldn't have said it

yourself.....:D

TRock, I don't think it's because you came off as a friend. I think it's

because she was just testing you, you were supposed to say. "Friends? Not if I have something to say about it", then

you should have made your move maybe rub her thighs or slap her on her bottom. Come on mate she wanted it. Don't

think I am speaking bollocks either.

She was waiting, you're a super cool guy in college, if you look like

Ashton Kutcher or Nick Cannon that helps out even more.

TRock
08-17-2004, 08:45 PM
then you should

have made your move maybe rub her thighs or slap her on her bottom. Come on mate she wanted it. Don't think I am

speaking bollocks either.


oh yeah, you can believe i tried that. i thought i did everything right.

cocky and funny, some girl i met the night before played with my voicemail message. i knew she was gonna call me the

next day so i didn't bother rerecording my voicemail message until i knew she heard it.

the reason i bring this

up is because school starts up in a week. we hang out in the same crowd, i'm just hoping my friends don't find out

about this. to them this was a guaranteed girl for me. i'll never hear the end of it.

Friendly1
08-17-2004, 09:58 PM
oh yeah, you can

believe i tried that. i thought i did everything right. cocky and funny, some girl i met the night before played

with my voicemail message. i knew she was gonna call me the next day so i didn't bother rerecording my voicemail

message until i knew she heard it.
Big mistake.

TRock
08-17-2004, 10:07 PM
how so? i never told anybody i

wanted a relationship. the reason we met was because we went to a conference at another school and a few of the

girls from other schools weren't making it a secret that they wanted me.

bindy
08-18-2004, 05:00 AM
From a female perspective....she

thought you were friends, pure and simple. She thought she'd found another great friendship, and I'd say you blew

that and any hopes of hooking up with her. I don't mean to be mean, but I don't think it was a test, I don't

think she was yanking your chain. I think she just wanted friendly male companionship, and that's what you led her

to believe she had for 4 months.
Bindy

TRock
08-18-2004, 07:26 AM
yeah but the thing is i knew that

she liked me (i'm a pretty good looking guy). i only hung put with her a few times that whole 4 months and none of

those times i set it up to hang out with her. it just happens when a group of friends hangout. she was chasing me

and i just sat back let it happen, i never chased her (she didn't meet my standards for me to put any effort in).

that's why i'm so confused about why i didn't it that night. i'm so way out of her league looks wise and social

wise.

bjf
08-18-2004, 07:59 AM
i'm so way out of her

league looks wise and social wise.

This was basically brought up by others before, but she probably

picked up on the fact that you think that. Not many women will go for that, for a number of different reasons.

Pancho1188
08-18-2004, 08:54 AM
i'm so way out

of her league looks wise and social wise.
Apparently, though, she can go toe-to-toe with anyone on common

sense and intuition...

Honestly, I think she did the right thing (as in what was right for her)...but that's

just me.

bindy
08-18-2004, 09:02 AM
If you're so "out of her league",

then she probably wouldn't chase you. Either she lacks self confidence or she doesn't find you as attractive as

you find yourself. More often than not women don't chase men who are obviously out of their league. What's the

point in heading down a dead end? More often the case is that men think women are "chasing" them, when it's meant

to be innocent flirting, which friends do with each other. Maybe you were reading her wrong. My question is, if

you are out of her league, why did you want to sleep with her anyway? Did you just want to have a one night stand?

Maybe she sensed that, and didn't want that kind of attention.
Bindy

TRock
08-18-2004, 09:27 AM
b/c as a guy i will have sex with

anything unless she is butt ugly. she is a 6 in my opinion. so are you saying brad pitt doesn't have every woman

wanting him? i'm not saying i'm brad pitt, but i always get i'm good looking comments from girls and women. i

constantly see girls checking me out even before mones. i see it for myself because i see how females cashiers treat

other guy customers then i come up and how they treat me. my guy friends see it happen to me all the time and they

comment on it. girls just come out and tell me i'm so cute. so that's how i know i'm good looking. and i have

sisters and female cousins, their friends love me.

the reason i use mones is because i hate rejection. so i

prefer to mess with girls that approach me, i rarely have to approach them. i figure mones will make girls that are

too shy approach me normally, approach me when i have it on. so my game is weak when it comes to girls that don't

approach me.

i don't act like i'm out their league. i keep my arrogance to myself and people that know me.

when a girl approaches me i am always friendly with them. i always give them a chance.

TRock
08-18-2004, 09:37 AM
Apparently,

though, she can go toe-to-toe with anyone on common sense and intuition...

Honestly, I think she did the right

thing (as in what was right for her)...but that's just me.
no you're right, she did the right thing. i

hate to admit it.

Pancho1188
08-18-2004, 09:56 AM
no you're right,

she did the right thing. i hate to admit it.
So do I, man...so do I...

Friendly1
08-18-2004, 10:09 AM
the reason i use

mones is because i hate rejection. so i prefer to mess with girls that approach me, i rarely have to approach them.

i figure mones will make girls that are too shy approach me normally, approach me when i have it on. so my game is

weak when it comes to girls that don't approach me.
Pheromones don't work that way. The only women who

really come on to me are women who are secure and confident in themselves and ther sexuality. The shy girls get

excited and nervous, but they don't just suddenly blossom into sexual aggressors.

You have made many mistakes,

according to what you are telling us in this discussion, but you don't appear to be recognizing them and learning

from them.

Rule number 1: If a specific action doesn't produce the results you want, DON'T REPEAT THE

ACTION.

Rule number 2: After every action, OBSERVE ALL REACTIONS.

Rule number 3: Pick the reactions you want

and learn what led to them.

These rules work in all areas of life. Guys beat themselves against a wall, doing

the same things over and over again, wondering why they never get anywhere.

Don't let girls record your voice

mail greeting unless you want other girls to think they have marked turf.

Don't be "friends" with girls. Be a

man.

Don't obsess over anyone. Let them wonder about you.

Do things that make you feel good about

yourself. People will see that.

Learn to read and project body language.

TRock
08-18-2004, 10:23 AM
Pheromones don't

work that way. The only women who really come on to me are women who are secure and confident in themselves and ther

sexuality. The shy girls get excited and nervous, but they don't just suddenly blossom into sexual aggressors.



You have made many mistakes, according to what you are telling us in this discussion, but you don't appear to be

recognizing them and learning from them.

Rule number 1: If a specific action doesn't produce the results you

want, DON'T REPEAT THE ACTION.

Rule number 2: After every action, OBSERVE ALL REACTIONS.

Rule number 3:

Pick the reactions you want and learn what led to them.

These rules work in all areas of life. Guys beat

themselves against a wall, doing the same things over and over again, wondering why they never get anywhere.



Don't let girls record your voice mail greeting unless you want other girls to think they have marked turf.



Don't be "friends" with girls. Be a man.

Don't obsess over anyone. Let them wonder about you.

Do things

that make you feel good about yourself. People will see that.

Learn to read and project body

language.the voicemail was probably a bad idea.
i like having a few female friends because i'm a

metrosexual. i'm not interested in these female friends, i known them since highschool. i'm not obessing over her,

i was just wondering what happened. i'm more obsessing over the situation. see i'm used to getting my way because

i'm good looking which is why this whole situation messes with me. i guess you can say i've been getting through

life based on my looks but that's why i'm trying to change things right now. i keep doing what i do because i have

success with what i do, not as much as i want. but enough to keep me happy. which is sit there, be good looking and

let girls approach me. but right now i'm working on approaching girls and kicking game to them instead of just

choosing from the ones that approach me.

bindy
08-18-2004, 12:43 PM
You asked the question, I was

simply commenting on the facts you'd given, and presenting mho from a women's perspective, which will tend to be

different than a man's.

Maybe she doesn't consider herself in the same league, which would explain partly

why she's not comfortable with a sexual relationship. Or she just wanted to be friends, which is very attractive

to some girls. Haven't you ever seen Friends or Will and Grace? Women would love to have a male friend that they

can trust and feel safe with. Or maybe she knows you'll "sleep with anything", and isn't comfortable with that.

Maybe she's a virgin? You just never know. Why don't you find a place where she's comfortable, doens't feel

threatened, and ask her.

As for Brad Pitt, no not every girl wants him. And, of those who do, not all of them

would throw themselves at him.
Bindy

koolking1
08-18-2004, 02:10 PM
so Bindy, should we pretend

to be gay to have more girlfriends?

bindy
08-18-2004, 05:33 PM
LOL! Definately not! But I

thought someone out there said, "don't be friends with girls. Be a man". The just of what I"m saying is: If what

you want is a friend, be a friend, and that generally means no sex. If it's a sexual relationship, one night

stand, long term relationship that you want, those all have to be approached differently than a friendship. Don't

you agree? (Great if a friendship turns into a relationship though.)
You all are too defensive about what I'm

saying, so I'll back out of this discussion.
Bindy

InternationalPlayboy
08-18-2004, 07:15 PM
so are

you saying brad pitt doesn't have every woman wanting him?

Not that I'm a fan of either actor, but

he's married. For Jennifer's sake, I hope he's monogamous unless they've mutually agreed to an open marriage.

Friendly1
08-18-2004, 08:22 PM
I agree with Bindy. If you

want a friend, be a friend. I just feel like several guys have been complaining about LJBF situations lately. In

my experience, that usually leads to more than friendship, but that is because *I* change after I am put into the

friend category. I have had plenty of women friends through the years. Had no interest in them sexually. I

presume they either had none in me or it died quickly.

perfidia
09-14-2004, 01:08 AM
the voicemail was

probably a bad idea.
i like having a few female friends because i'm a metrosexual. i'm not interested in these

female friends, i known them since highschool. i'm not obessing over her, i was just wondering what happened. i'm

more obsessing over the situation. see i'm used to getting my way because i'm good looking which is why this whole

situation messes with me. i guess you can say i've been getting through life based on my looks but that's why i'm

trying to change things right now. i keep doing what i do because i have success with what i do, not as much as i

want. but enough to keep me happy. which is sit there, be good looking and let girls approach me. but right now i'm

working on approaching girls and kicking game to them instead of just choosing from the ones that approach

me.
I'm glad you're trying to change your approach. I'd like to hear specific examples of what you do

and how you act, because you seem to keep falling back on how all sorts of females think you're cute or

good-looking, but as you get older (and girls' standards rise) you do need to back that up. And maybe they think

you're cute not in the right way-- like a kid or a puppy, but not a hot guy they want to sleep with. I'm just

speculating this part because you weren't really specific about it. I think most girls like guys who approach them

directly and aren't coy about showing their interest. I don't mean be a caveman or anything, but to just sit

there being good-looking and waiting for women to approach you is a pretty feminine approach.

I know this is

*really* old now and you've probably settled your mind about the whole thing. I just wanted to reiterate what

Pancho said, but from a female point of view. You said your whole group of mutual friends knew that this girl was

interested in you, for at least 4 months. It would be humiliating for her to get used by you in that situation, and

that's reason enough not to sleep with you, no matter how good-looking you are or how much she wanted you before.



Also, it was just too little too late. I don't think she was testing you. It seems like she was still

considering the possibility of sleeping with you by going to your room, but whatever happened there convinced her

that you were being opportunistic, so her self-preserving instinct took over. For her to sleep with you at that

point, would be like agreeing with you that she's stupid and unattractive and had better take whatever crumbs she

can get... Any girl with half a brain and/or ego, wouldn't do it either.

Maybe if you had "cultivated" her

by being a little more responsive, flirting back and seeming appreciative of her, etc., instead of brushing her off

and taking the chase for granted, you would have gotten somewhere later. It wouldn't have taken much effort or time

on your part, especially if she was originally as interested in you as your friends told you she was (they might

have exaggerated)... girls usually have pretty rich fantasy lives ;)

TRock
09-29-2004, 12:20 AM
basically i'd stop relying on my

looks/luck and started working on my game. i am a rAFC, i see where i went wrong and now i'm in the process of

becoming a PUA. thank goodness i failed with this chick or i might still be an AFC.

SweetBrenda
09-29-2004, 07:35 AM
basically i'd

stop relying on my looks/luck and started working on my game. i am a rAFC, i see where i

went wrong and now i'm in the process of becoming a PUA. thank goodness i failed with this chick or i might still

be an AFC.
Excuse my ignorance... But what are you saying? I sort

of made my own opinion out of your abbreviations! :blink: heh!

Pancho1188
09-29-2004, 09:09 AM
They are "How to get women"

abbreviations...

I can't remember what they mean, but I recall that AFC means you're a wuss, rAFC means

you're recovering from being a wuss, and PUA means you can pick up any girl you want because you're they "Cocky

and Funny" type...

TRock
09-29-2004, 09:13 AM
rAFC is a recovering average

frustrated chump and a pua is a pick up artist and afc is average frustrated chump. since i'm in b/w afc and

heading towards pua, i'm a rAFC.

SweetBrenda
09-29-2004, 09:44 AM
OoH! well thanks

for that!. Makes much more sense now.

"Good Luck

with all That" like Pancho says...

Mtnjim
09-29-2004, 10:00 AM
AFC= Average Frustrated

Chump!
rAFC= Recovering AFC
PUA= Pick Up Artist

:cheers:

BassMan
09-29-2004, 10:13 AM
AFC= Average

Frustrated Chump!
rAFC= Recovering AFC
PUA= Pick Up Artist

:cheers:I find it entertaining that whether

we will admit to using fast seduction / nlp techniques or not, most of us males know these acronyms :rofl:

Mtnjim
09-29-2004, 10:49 AM
I find it

entertaining that whether we will admit to using fast seduction / nlp techniques or not, most of us males know these

acronyms :rofl:

I had to look 'em up when I first saw them right here on this forum (actually, the

forum that is now the archive)!!
:angel: