View Full Version : Feeling discouraged
Snoopy
07-28-2004, 09:28 PM
I just had a date
this weekend that went really really well and the girl has been calling me, etc etc. I used Chikara and we had a lot
of fun, and lots of body contact. The thing is, I just got a haircut and it looks terrible! Not only that, my entire
face just broke out in acne and it just seems to be getting worse. I am so discouraged that I don't even feel like
talking to her, even though the weekend was so amazing... I'm scared I might get depressed and moody and completely
turn her off.
This isn't the first time it's happened to me before either. Every time I have a really good
start with a girl, I end up breaking out and my mood flips like crazy. It's always driven me into depression and I
always lose the girl because of it. I'm so afraid it's going to happen again. Will she like me less? This girl is
like a 9.5/10, and all her past boyfriends have been really good looking.
Unknownshadow21
07-28-2004, 09:47 PM
I think the best thing
you can do, is STOP seeing her for a few days, this should increase her "ATTRACTION" for you, believe it or not.
Just make sure to keep yourself busy!!!
Also stop worrying about your "LOOKS" just make sure you are well
groomed. Work on your "Sense of humor", Body language and project [Confidence] that should be it.
TRock
07-28-2004, 10:08 PM
just pretend you're busy this
weekend, don't even tell her you're busy. and don't call her til after the weekend is over. she's gonna be
wondering why you aren't all over her and that's gonna intrigue her.
CptKipling
07-29-2004, 08:10 AM
Not only that, my
entire face just broke out in acne and it just seems to be getting worse.
Make some homemade soup with
carrots, and take some zinc tablets. I have never had acne but those two are supposed to help.
Friendly1
07-29-2004, 08:25 AM
Acne often erupts because of
stress. I am 44 and I still occasionally get a zit when I am stressed out. The worst thing you can do is obsess
over it. I agree with the general advice. Give yourself some time. Let the girl wonder. Find some way to stay
busy. Take your mind off of her.
You will definitely run her off if you obsess over her like some needy
dweeb.
omoyemaya30
07-29-2004, 01:57 PM
I Agree W /trock And
Unknownshadow21...i Am A Woman..i Believe If You Act Like Your Busy This Weekend ..she Is Going To Wonder Why Your
Busy..that Wl Make Her Wonder..what's Going On..and I'm Sure If You Say She Is A 9.5/10 Scale..she Is Not Going To
Expect Someone Doing This To Her ...and That My Friend Wl Make Her Want You Even More..if She Is The One For
You..then You Wl Really See How She Feels About You....don't Everybody Agree?
metroman
07-29-2004, 04:06 PM
and it will also give your hair
a chance to grow in somewhat...or how about a hat of somekind if its still not to your liking...baseball cap
maybe...
Snoopy
07-29-2004, 06:44 PM
I went out and bought ProActiv
today, an 3-step acne treatment facial wash system. I hope it works, it was a bit pricey... My skin is all dry now
though. Can anyone recommend a good oil-free facial lotion?
buy a soap in a cvs or drug store
with 10 percent benzoyl peroxide.... that's all you need to make a world of difference.
Alot of acne soaps
use saylic acid or something but its not as effective.
And your drying out your skin because you are putting
on so much treatment. Get Lubriderm if you want oil-free.
Unknownshadow21
07-29-2004, 07:59 PM
I went out
and bought ProActiv today, an 3-step acne treatment facial wash system. I hope it works, it was a bit pricey... My
skin is all dry now though. Can anyone recommend a good oil-free facial lotion?
Menscience has the
lightest oil-free facial lotion I have tried and I must admit its the best out there.
bindy
07-30-2004, 04:57 AM
I agree with all the advice on
waiting to see her (from a woman's perspective here). I could never stand a man that had nothing to do but me. It
was really attractive when he had other things going on....not to the total exclusion of me, but just had a life
besides me. So, keeping her waiting a bit, until you're feeling better will do you both good.
As far as the
depression. Go out and get some 5 HTP at the grocery store (if it's well stocked with herbs) or the health food
store if your grocery doesn't have it. It will help. I have used it for mild depression ( a woman thing) and for
anxiety, and it works really well.
As far as the breakouts, good to get that skin care program going. You might
also want to check with your doc to see if you might need something else. If someone's tried a product and can
vouch for it, like Manscience, I'd go with that. As far as the drying, yep, I'd cut back a bit, but that is what
you're trying to do, dry out the skin just a bit. I don't know about the benzoyl peroxide, won't that just dry
your skin out more?
For women's products, I use Neutrogena Visibly firm. It has copper in it, which is supposed
to be great for your skin, and it's light, but I don't have acne, so I don't know how it would be for you.
As
far as what she'll think of you. If you're well groomed, brush your teeth well, and are showered, it will be
obvious that you care about your appearance. BTW, men and feet.....guys, no long toe nails, no yellow toe nails,
and maybe consider shaving your feet if you want to go bare foot but don't have a tan. Just a thought! ;
)
Bindy
Snoopy
07-30-2004, 06:02 AM
Thanks for the replies guys.
I'll just have to do what I can. I ordered some SOE Unscented which should arrive in a week or two, but for now I
think stand-alone Chikara will definately be enough. The second I am feeling better I will make sure we get together
:) Maybe hit up a theme park or something...
By the way, she's hit me with LJBF before... like twice. There is
always this thought in the back of my mind that she likes some other guy and will just LJBF me again! I know that
there are a lot of guys going for her because she's really outgoing and popular. A lot of the guys are better
looking than I am too. I guess I'm going to have to just go all out, and if I still come home empty handed, give up
and move on...
Snoopy
07-30-2004, 06:04 AM
I know that breathing space and
resting time is good, but I always get paranoid that during that time we're "off", she might meet someone else and
spark something. Do you guys have any advice on how to get that paranoia out of my head?
belgareth
07-30-2004, 06:16 AM
I know that
breathing space and resting time is good, but I always get paranoid that during that time we're "off", she might
meet someone else and spark something. Do you guys have any advice on how to get that paranoia out of my
head?
Stop putting all your eggs in one basket. Meet, talk to, date other girls. Avoid the trap of bieng
tied to one girl. You'll be a lot more relaxed about the whole thing if you have several other girls you can call
for a date or just to hang out together. Since you are not in a committed relationship, enjoy yourself and spend
time with several women. If this one girl is really attracted to you, she'll make a greater effort to attract you.
If she's playing games, you can walk away from it comfortably.
In short, relax and have fun.
Friendly1
07-30-2004, 07:01 AM
By the way,
she's hit me with LJBF before... like twice. There is always this thought in the back of my mind that she likes
some other guy and will just LJBF me again!Dude,
I am telling you and every other guy here, LJBF is not
necessarily the kiss of death guys always make it out to be. Most of the girls who fell for me did so after I agreed
to just be friends. They saw me relax and become interested in other girls. I was fun to be with and wasn't
pressuring them to go out with me. I had more spontaneous dates which led to serious relationships with LJBF than I
had serious dates asking strangers out.
Take the lead and LJBF HER. It will give you the advantage. Just treat
her like a friend.
Don't obsess.
Don't obsess.
Don't obsess.
bindy
07-30-2004, 07:34 AM
I agree with Friendly1. From a
women's point of view, there's nothing more unattractive than a desparate guy/girl, but on the other hand,
something very intriguing and attractive about a guy who can be your friend, and those relationships often develop
into something better than if you'd started out lovers. After all, if you really get to know her first it will be
more meaningful.
Bindy
Snoopy
07-30-2004, 07:43 AM
We've been best friends for
several years now. I think LJBF has been rubbed in a lot already, so it would be wierd if I just came out and said
that to her no matter what the situation was.
For the don't obsess thing, I agree. I used to be obsessed with
her and the only thing I got back from that was depression. I've gone back to playing sports and doing other fun
things with friends now, and I think that has helped me a lot.
I don't have too many other girl friends, nor do
I have friends who would want to go clubbing with me either (they aren't really into that). When school starts I
will make an opportunity to meet more, but that's not for another month.
I could, however, try to meet some
friends of friends. That is definately something I would and probably will do this month.
bindy
07-30-2004, 07:54 AM
You're so young! Go out, have
fun. Keep the relationship in the back of your mind, but in the meantime just have fun and be friends with her.
She's been around for a long time, if you are patient, warm, caring, friendly, and fun, eventually she'll fall for
you, and if not, keep your eyes open. There are tons of girls out there, and probably several just right for you.
It's good that you're busy doing things with other people, and that you have friends who might hook you up.
Sometimes our friends know what might work better than we do.
Good luck!
Bindy
Snoopy
07-30-2004, 08:13 AM
Thanks bindy! And thanks to
everyone else too. I'm not feeling discouraged anymore, instead, I'm glad that I'm learning this now, rather than
later in my life.
Sesshoumaru
07-30-2004, 08:23 AM
buy a soap in a
cvs or drug store with 10 percent benzoyl peroxide.... that's all you need to make a world of difference.
Alot
of acne soaps use saylic acid or something but its not as effective.
And your drying out your skin because you
are putting on so much treatment. Get Lubriderm if you want oil-free.
10% benzoyl peroxide is too much.
You'll just end up burning your face :rant: .
5% works great for me, it's just the right dose. Take the cream
and put it all over your face, once a day and you won't get burned to death.
Proactive also has 10% benzoyl
peroxide, one of you guys that mentioned it should watch out. Also the 5% creams bring double the amount so you
won't be loosing any money. Plus with more cream you can cover a wider surface area of your skin.
Snoopy
07-30-2004, 08:28 AM
The one I got has 2.5% BP. I used
to use a 5% BP and I still found it a bit strong.
Okay, 10 percent is for SOAP, not
creme. Someone else mentioned drying out your face with it, but you won't this isn't a topical creme.
This
stuff gets washed off after 30 seconds, so it has to be high, because most of it isn't being absorbed into the
skin.
Snoopy, just get the crap.
Snoopy
07-30-2004, 08:30 AM
Snoopy, just get the
crap.
Get what crap? I said before that I purchased ProActiv already (2.5% BP).
Friendly1
07-30-2004, 09:28 AM
Benzoyl Peroxide is still, I
think, the most medically effective treatment for acne after antibiotics. If you are really having serious
breakouts and you just feel too self-conscious about them, try getting a referral to a dermatologist. It will be
expensive but maybe that will help you out. You can't build up your confidence while you're worrying about your
face.
Sesshoumaru
07-30-2004, 09:30 AM
Get what crap?
I said before that I purchased ProActiv already (2.5% BP).
I didn't know Proactive came in 2.5% strength,
I guess thats fine then :D
Friendly1
07-30-2004, 09:36 AM
I don't have too
many other girl friends, nor do I have friends who would want to go clubbing with me either (they aren't really
into that). When school starts I will make an opportunity to meet more, but that's not for another month.
I
could, however, try to meet some friends of friends. That is definately something I would and probably will do this
month.
If you have $40-60, go sign up for some dance classes. ATTEND THEM ALL. Take Swing Dance, Latin
Dance, even Two Step if that is what people do in your area.
Stick with it.
Start with the intention of
putting 1-2 years into it.
You would have to be a total screwup not to meet some interesting people in the next
2 years through dance classes. Don't rush into anything. After you have been there a few months, you'll be the
top dog (or one of them). The girls will all want to dance with you no matter how bad you were on the first day.
NOW is the time to do it. Most dance teachers do 1 month classes, and the month is just starting. The timing is
perfect.
Don't worry about your acne. Unless you're a good dancer, the first 2 months in dance class you are
nothing special. Let the girls move on. Just get used to dancing with them without letting yourself get excited.
And wear your pheromones on a regular basis.
camusflage
07-30-2004, 10:22 AM
If you have
$40-60, go sign up for some dance classes. ATTEND THEM ALL. Take Swing Dance, Latin Dance, even Two Step if that
is what people do in your area.
Motion seconded! Check out clubs in your area. Around me, there are free
or LOW cost classes thurs-sunday for various swing and salsa places around. Get in, start learning the basics, and
get busy. Where else can you have your hands on a woman ten seconds after meeting her? :) I started taking dance
lessons on SwingerMD's suggestion, and have become quite a capable dancer over the past two years.
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