View Full Version : Do u find that you attract a certain type of person?
I went out last night (big surprise) and decided to apply 4 sprays of Chikara, chest, inner wrists and
back of neck, and 1 dab PI on the right side of my neck.
I applied 1 spray of my favorite cologne and out I
went.
The bar is considered rather upscale with a yuppie (does this word still exist?) type crowd.
I
ordered a drink and moved to a clear spot where I could check out the ladies, I noticed a rather tall shapely black
woman giving a few glances my way, but she was with a male companion so I didn't follow up.
In front of me some
more women had assembled including a rather plump woman with short dark hair. I stood there telling myself that at
some point this woman is going to approach me and sure enough she up to me real close asking me why I was holding up
the wall (actually I was leaning against a chair).
I mumbled something and I guess she got discouraged and moved
on.
Now my question is this? Do you find women who are not considered shall we say 9-10s approaching you in
one way or the other, I'm always getting large women buzzing me online or hitting on me at clubs and such, a
coworker of some size came to my desk asking me if I was married.
I believe that certain people attract
certain types of people eg. you have those guys who pray on insecure woman but are repelled by strong willed
women.
What are your thoughts just curious.
DCW
Bruce
07-03-2004, 07:54 PM
At 54 with a wife and 2.5 kids in
tow most of the time, I don't get hit on much anymore, but when I was young (and very shy), I used to date almost
exclusively women who had the guts to take the first second and third steps in getting to know me. So, they were
always strong women, but they seemed to alternate being totallly grounded Earth-mother types to the opposite extreme
of wild and crazy. I really don't know why it worked out like that, but looking back it was uncannily so.
Fortunately, I ended on an Earth-Mother and we are living happily ever after.
Love,
Bruce
Thats what I'm taking about, how may
times have you heard women say "why do I attract these jerks" ? I think that we send off signals that we are unaware
of.
Like Kreskin use to call suggestion.
DCW
DCW:
Aggressive women are
often fat chicks. They kinda have to be.
Also, girls who will hook up with quickly with guys (who have
barely told them there name) are more often 4-6 than 7-10.
Anyway, you get the point.
Numanoid
07-04-2004, 04:17 AM
Now my
question is this? Do you find women who are not considered shall we say 9-10s approaching you in one way or the
other,
I attract weird ones...psycho-chicks in a couple of cases. Physically they vary.
handtohandking
07-04-2004, 05:53 AM
I seem to attract
obsessive, neurotic, and aggressive females. I think a large part of that has to do with my phero signature, because
many times I do nothing to encourage this behavior, sometimes even discourage in some cases, yet they don't
cease...They can range from unattractive ladies to stunningly beautiful damsels, so looks can vary, but of course,
the less attractive ones are usually more aggressive. And of course, perfectly (I think) normal females like me too,
but I prefer a LITTLE eccentricity...:twisted:
Bruce
07-04-2004, 06:48 AM
I've found that certain women seem
to specialize in shy guys. They can be very nice, but generally aren't your typical "10".
B
Funny we haven't herd from any of
the ladies yet. I guess there getting out their scrapbooks.
DCW
koolking1
07-04-2004, 11:15 AM
hmmm, I seem lately to be
attracting what my girlfriend Sue calls herself: the Marian the Librarian types. My thinking is that, only
provided they get to know me a bit, they have been in academia a long time and want to expand their horizons a bit
with guys who were previously military, travelled a bit, and have a different life experience. It's kinda cool
really as I sorta thought these types were unavailable to me. I love it when those glasses come off!!!
SweetBrenda
07-04-2004, 11:27 AM
I went out last
night (big surprise) and decided to apply 4 sprays of Chikara, chest, inner wrists and back of neck, and 1 dab PI on
the right side of my neck.
I applied 1 spray of my favorite cologne and out I went.
The bar is considered
rather upscale with a yuppie (does this word still exist?) type crowd.
I ordered a drink and moved to a clear spot
where I could check out the ladies, I noticed a rather tall shapely black woman giving a few glances my way, but she
was with a male companion so I didn't follow up.
In front of me some more women had assembled including a rather
plump woman with short dark hair. I stood there telling myself that at some point this woman is going to approach me
and sure enough she up to me real close asking me why I was holding up the wall (actually I was leaning against a
chair).
I mumbled something and I guess she got discouraged and moved on.
Now my question is this? Do you find
women who are not considered shall we say 9-10s approaching you in one way or the other, I'm always getting large
women buzzing me online or hitting on me at clubs and such, a coworker of some size came to my desk asking me if I
was married.
I believe that certain people attract certain types of people eg. you have those guys who pray on
insecure woman but are repelled by strong willed women.
What are your thoughts just curious.
DCWLook at it this way at list you're getting some attention. :blink: Feel surprise when no
one notice you. (checks her jeans tag) Ohh uh you're right! :think:here's another girl who isn't size 9
talking to you.
Btw chubby girls need love too.:hammer:
:p
koolking1
07-04-2004, 11:30 AM
SweetBrenda, We're loaded
up with chocolate here - will you be our "type"?
DrSmellThis
07-04-2004, 12:34 PM
With the obesity epidemic
being so widespread in the US, the issue of romance and "person's of size" is probably necessary for people to
discuss at some point (although perhaps in private with close friends?). "Visible bodyfat issues" of one kind or
another are an obstacle to romance for both men and women, way moreso than ever in my own experience. That is truly
a very sad thing, because great people who might otherwise click romantically too often don't. Everybody loses in
this situation. But it's not clear what a sensitive way to discuss it would be; or even whether this thread started
off in the right way for it to happen here at all without hurting people's feelings.
burgerama1960
07-04-2004, 12:39 PM
That is the problem with
todays dater's. They never give anyone a chance unless they are borderline anerexic. If people would stop being so
damn judgemental there would be a hell of alot more love in this world. And alot less lonely people. Quality is in
the persons personality not looks. I would never judge a person by their weight nor would i worry what my friends
might think if they saw me talking to this individual. I hate that rating system of numbers also how insensitive to
be labled a 5 or a 6. If you have a nice personality your a 10 in my book. my advise is get out there with your
mones and be nice to whoever comes to talk, you don't have to marry or hump the person because you talk to them
just have a good time.
Everybody has physical preferences.
It is not intended to be mean or personal, and nobody should be ashamed about it.
I don't think it is
shallow either. It's life, evolution, natural selection.
Hang on Hang on, I wasn't being
judgemental in a negative way, I was just making a personal observation. The 9-10 remark wasn't ment to be
exclusive to big girls, a what is big anyway, you don't know who I have in that classification.
For the record I
have dated a full spectrum of size and color
In any event the post was really about attraction and
trends.
DCW
Don't hate the hater, hate the skater -Lincoln 1863
DrSmellThis
07-04-2004, 12:46 PM
I understand having hurt
feelings here, SW; really I do! I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. DCW's post wasn't the most sensitive to make
in mixed company, though it was honest. A "large" or "plump" woman (the same words the women are using, not the
"fat" phrase you said he used) apparently hit on him. He wasn't attracted to her and he gave her the cold shoulder.
This kind of rejection happens hundreds of thousands of times to every guy too, and each time it hurts.
Not
everyone is going to be attracted to us. But after we get our feelings hurt we could take some responsibility for
those feelings ("accept and move on", as my friend says) and not just indulge ouselves in rage against the person
who rejects us or someone else. I'm not saying it's easy. But the internet gives us the luxury of being able to
cool down before replying. I've had to literally "sleep on it" (when I didn't want to) several times before
posting replies in this forum.
It's very OK to tell people you feel offended and to describe what it was they
said that was offensive for you. But once the name-calling starts there is almost NO hope of anyone talking about
anything anymore. Plus, you are a newbie, and this board has some (for now) unwritten rules about respect. lt's
great when women participate here, so we male members don't want to chase them away with insensitivity. On the
other hand, people are going to talk frankly about attraction in this "science of attraction" forum, so newbies of
both genders should know this beforehand, and could prepare themselves to participate constructively.
Thanks Doc, as a matter of fact I was
in the same bar at during the Super Bowl trying to get the attention of certain lady when she said quite honestly
that I wasn't her type.
I didn't get mad or curse I just moved on to another prospect.
You also have to
consider where I was, it was a bar filled with high rollers, divorcees, singles and a few hookers (a story for
another time) I wasn't at a church picnic.
The truth of the matter is most people chave a certain personal
preference whether it be height, weight, social status, race, money or personality.
If that wasn't true we would
all be married at 18 and raising families.
Like I said I was just making a personal observation about my
experience, which shouldn't matter because it certainly doesn't apply to some one like you with such a busy social
life :-).
DCW
Don't hate the hater, hate the skater -Lincoln 1863
SweetBrenda
07-04-2004, 02:17 PM
:goodpost: .............
cuddlebear
07-04-2004, 02:26 PM
Well, I actually LIKE full
figured women :)
But your point is well taken ... I have also noticed a pattern of certain types being more
likely to approach than others ... I got interested in pheromone products because I wanted to expand my horizons,
not necessarily to discourage the ones I was already attracting, but to bring some other types into the picture as
well ...
Good posting ... Maybe I should donate some of my points to you :p
Well, I actually
LIKE full figured women :)
But your point is well taken ... I have also noticed a pattern of certain types
being more likely to approach than others ... I got interested in pheromone products because I wanted to expand my
horizons, not necessarily to discourage the ones I was already attracting, but to bring some other types into the
picture as well ...
Good posting ... Maybe I should donate some of my points to you
:p
Thats exactly the point I was making...thank you.
I know I should of word it differently
the 9-10 reference was more of society's view but I wanted to get a reaction.
The honest truth is I date
women of size in fact a friend of mine called me yesturday about going out. We had to cancell a few times because of
weather, schedules and other factors. She is a very pretty Cuban/Mexican woman that I've know for 2 yrs.
The
last paragraph of my post is really what I was getting at.
Don't hate the hater, hate the skater -Lincoln
1863
Gegogi
07-04-2004, 04:06 PM
Young cute things never go for
me, although I try, they quickly run away. For some reason New Age hippies types and tall black women often approach
me--sometimes hound me. I'm a small (5'8" 145lbs) Asian guy, so I haven't a clue why they find me attractive.
Maybe's it's my profession--musician--or my clothing? I'm a man of few words, so it ain't my fine conversation.
The pheros I've been playing with the last month seem to intensify what's already there and the same types of
women are increasingly bolder.
einstein
07-05-2004, 12:27 AM
My opinion on this isn't quite
as polite as burgerama's. I have no problems being friends with big girls, going out drinking and shooting pool
with them, but have no interest other than friendship. I just don't find excessive body fat attractive.
I see it
the same as smoking. Unattractive, unhealthy, and if a person really wants to change it, they can. There seem to
be hundreds of diet methods, and each one will work if the person actually follows it. Nobody suddenly wakes up
fat, they have to look in the mirror at some point and say "this is getting unattractive, I should do something
about it."
Big girls do need love too, but I'm not the man to do it. All of the big girls I know who have good
attitudes have at least one decent guy chasing after them. It just happens to be a guy they're not attracted
to.
A good attitude and a pretty smile help a lot, and are more important to a girl's attrativeness than her
weight, but there are limits.
Funny thing is I don't like really skinny girls either. Perfect would be 5'4" and
140 pounds.
belgareth
07-05-2004, 06:18 AM
That is
the problem with todays dater's. They never give anyone a chance unless they are borderline anerexic. If people
would stop being so damn judgemental there would be a hell of alot more love in this world. And alot less lonely
people. Quality is in the persons personality not looks. I would never judge a person by their weight nor would i
worry what my friends might think if they saw me talking to this individual. I hate that rating system of numbers
also how insensitive to be labled a 5 or a 6. If you have a nice personality your a 10 in my book. my advise is get
out there with your mones and be nice to whoever comes to talk, you don't have to marry or hump the person because
you talk to them just have a good time.
Good for you! What a great attitude. :thumbsup:
When I meet
somebody new the first thing that catches my attention is their expression; do they look like they laugh a lot or
have that sparkle in their eye like they are happy? I personally don't have time to waste on unpleasant people and
attitudes so try to spend my time around people who enjoy themselves. That rating scale is superficial and only
measures your opinion of a persoon's looks. By using it, you miss out on knowing some of the finest people in the
world. If a romance develops between two people others don't regard as 8's or better in looks, so? Maybe they are
happy and that is a hell of a lot more important. I'll take a cheerful "5" with a good mind and principles over any
"10" with a scowl or an attitude any day.
There seem to be hundreds of
diet methods, and each one will work if the person actually follows it. nope! They only work for those who
sell them $$$$ :D
I agree about the weight not being a factor for friendship, just like skin colour or
nationality or age all those things don´t matter to me-how can they? It´s hard enough meeting someone you click
with and if they have a decent character too that´s already a huge bonus and those 2 things are what I look out for
in others.
Sex partners are easy to find but I have a feeling sometimes that good and cool people are a dying
species :(
I don´t like fat flabby guys on top of me either :p Women can put on weight and look even sexier
but men don´t :( Too much weight is not good either.
The rating system is total rubbish because everyone
has their own rating sytem based on their own personal preferences. :D
Numanoid
07-05-2004, 09:18 AM
I like all types of shapes and
sizes but it's the hour glass figure that's exceptionally sexy to me...and it doesn't matter how big the hour
glass is either :)
rbernard
07-05-2004, 11:00 AM
Now we all know that physical
attraction is the first criteria that we face. It would be a better world if that were true but the fact is that it
is not. I personally have lost 42lbs in the last 17wks following Weight Watchers (it does work if you follow it, no
doubt about that!!) which was a program I refused to do or look into for years because I thought it was for women. (
and most participants are, although there were more men than I thought and we, men, kinda become the darlings of the
group).
I personally have noticed that I am getting far more looks than I use to even without the mones. Since
my personality has always been outgoing, I can not contribute it simply to a gain in confidence that came along with
the weightloss although I do feel much much much better and that has to be showing through.
Our bodies are too
wonderful a machine to have meant to be weighed down (pardon the pun) with excess fat which causes it to malfunction
and/or break down early. While, I truly believe there is someone for everyone, excess weight can hold one back from
being viewed and given the chance that the personality otherwise might afford them. If you're never taken for a
test drive no one will know how good or pleasant the ride is or could be!! ( and not just sexually!)
The best
thing, would be to try to lose the weight if one can. Again, personal experience tells me it is better for my
health, wealth (working harder, more energy) and confidence and probably will assist me in helping the mones work
for me.
I was fat, now just a little heavy (still losing) and while it may be unfair to heavy people to
discriminate against them in anyway, it remains a fact of life and who said life would always be fair?
a.k.a.
07-05-2004, 11:05 AM
I know it’s shallow to rate people,
but I think most people do it anyway.
My system is unique because it’s based on how many spots I would
kiss. Just about anybody rates a kiss on the (facial) cheek, unless they have a really bad skin condition or I
dislike them.
Many interesting insights come from this system. For example it’s very difficult to get
above a 10 unless I’ve gotten a few insights into a girl’s personality. (Monica Belucci ranks a 12. But she’s
special.) Some of the ladies I work with have managed to rack up more points than all the famous screen idols.
(15)
Another insight is that a girl has to be very nice to me to score above a twenty, and an otherwise
attractive woman can get a negative score (make me want to spit) on the basis of her personality alone (eg. Ann
Coultier). Also implants serve to deduct points rather than add them (Does anybody actually enjoy kissing those
things?)
On the disturbing side, I’ve discovered that Johnny Depp (3) scores higher than Pam Anderson
(1).
To answer the question... Without pheromones, I tend to attract married women in the 3-6
range. With pheromones, it’s a wide open field; and, since the mones make women act nicer than they actually are, I
find myself giving them a higher rank than they deserve.
With regards to body weight. Chubby can be
cute if it’s firm. Flab is a turn off at any weight range. (It seems many older women could outscore the younger
ones if they could only firm up their thighs and triceps.)
Of course none of this has much to do with
friendship.
I think romance is highly overrated. Good friends are a treasure that increases it’s value
with time. I don’t care what Hollywood says, romance will always fade.
A lot of people are familiar with
the distinction: “eros” (loving desire), “filia” (loving friendship), and “agape” (selfless — so called spiritual —
love). Mass marketing and the entertainment industry’s got everybody craving for eros, and religion’s got everybody
pumped up on agape. But, if you think about it, loving friendship is the most stable, rational and rewarding love
there is. (Eros makes the other an instrument of your desire. Agape makes you the instrument of the other’s need.
Whereas filia creates a reciprocating bond between people.)
Regarding diets... My mom’s been on dozens
with little success. Then her doctor told her she would have to lose 30lbs or get back surgery. One year later she’s
already lost 45. She just counts calories and walks every day.
I like all types of
shapes and sizes but it's the hour glass figure that's exceptionally sexy to me...and it doesn't matter how big
the hour glass is either :)
Women with that 1:2 waist to hip ratio (or is it 1 to 1.5?) are twice as
fertile. Its all about ratios. No wonder men are not attracted to flabby stomachs. We are attracted to fertility.
Nothing mean about that. Just as it is not mean that many women are not interested in me because I am
skinny. Healthiness has to have its place in attraction - it is the foundation of it. We need to be able to
successfully pass down our genes, and that requires a healthy partner.
camusflage
07-05-2004, 07:48 PM
Well, I
actually LIKE full figured women :)
Cuddle: I'm TOTALLY with you on that.. I've always like a woman who
not only LOOKS, but more importantly, FEELS like a woman. I've had a few VERY skinny girlfriends (one was 5'10 and
weighed 105 pounds), but by and large, I prefer the curvier gals.
DefconX3
07-06-2004, 03:45 PM
There seem to be
hundreds of diet methods, and each one will work if the person actually follows it.
Einstein, I
completely agree.
A lot of overweight people that I am friends with seem to have improper eating habits, and
if they want me to help them lose weight I tell them how to eat right. It always seems like the majority follow it
for a week and when they dont see themselves loosing enormous amounts of fat immediately they start to cheat on
their diet. A daniesh here, some cake here, and soon they give up on it all together.
But then again, there
are people that decide to take action and they loose the weight and keep it off, because they are determined people
with a strong will to accomplish what they want. If any of you want some modivation, check out this guy's site,
looses a tremendous amount of weight just by dieting and sticking to it. Its really quite
remarkable.
http://www.johnstonefitness.com/php/pictures.php
SweetBrenda
07-06-2004, 11:52 PM
SweetBrenda,
We're loaded up with chocolate here - will you be our "type"? :wave:@
You...
Lucky
07-07-2004, 04:17 PM
Bruce,
I'm so happy to hear
about the new baby...wish you the best. About the Earth-Mother types associated with wild and crazy periods - what
do you think is the main attraction for a shy man?
Sacogoo
07-07-2004, 10:01 PM
I don't know about attracting a
certain type of person, as I have "hooked up" with a myriad of different shapes, sizes, personalities, etc., that
have initiated the contact. However, I know that I am attracted to a certain type of person, and I've blown off a
number of high quality women after a few dates/few months because there just wasn't anything there for me from an
attraction standpoint. It wasn't that they were gross - many were very attractive, but they just didn't fit my
ideal. Hell, the girl I'm seeing now is downright hot and sexy, screws like a pornstar, has great musical tastes,
and is capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation, and she was the one who initially asked me out, but there
ain't nothing there for me because she doesn't fit my ideals in terms physical attraction and there is a lack of
synergy with regard to personality. (I feel a little bad now as I've continued this relationship to the point
where she has told me she loves me - hell, she let that slip after one week (one negative side effect of the
pheromones, or at least I'm blaming the pheromones for that one) - and wants to be exclusive, and blah, blah,
blah.)
Now listening to: Goldfrapp's "Black Cherry"
Infoyoda
07-08-2004, 05:42 AM
:thumbsup: I've never really
understood the obsession with looks or size anyway... I'm not blind and I can recognize a full-bombshell when I see
one, but I've always enjoyed women that don't look like they will break! I good full-sized hourglass figure....
but looks matter for about all of 15 minutes.
I have met drop dead gorgeous women that I have been 100% turned off
by the moment they opened their mouths, and I've met downright fat women who start joking around and even flirting
and manage to pique my attention simple because of the sporting good nature and great attitude....
They only
downside I've found with enjoying and attracting good sturdy women is that it seems the have become a pattern that
larger but very sexy and shapely women I've become involved with seem to have a tendancy to put weight on and lose
the full figured curves ( unless we consider just round a curve) as they become comfortable in a relationship!
I've had this experience with my ex-wife and now my girlfriend... I could never say anything about the extra
weight for fear of hurting them, but it doesn't go unnoticed... and both women treated me very well and the looks
really didn't matter, I was in love with the person.... but I always remembered how good they looked when we first
started spending time together and wishing I could encourage them back to that....
For more than just my
personal enjoyment... the other trend I realized was that as the additional weight went on, their self-esteem,
sexual confidence and interest began to ebb. I try to be very reaffirming and positive and complimentary, but I
found that no matter how attracted I still was, they simple started not liking themselves and lost interest in being
sexual....
Maybe I'm just a poison pill for the large frame woman.... or maybe this is just the way things go
.... I don't know.
But the whole reason I started this reply was to say that larger women... who are
proportionally shaped with all the curves in the right place... are HOT HOT HOT.... leave the tiny little things to
guys who are small or gentle.... I like knowing I have a partner that is .... robust... ;-)
Anyway, that my
more than two cents worth... haven't been on the site for a while or posted in ages....
currently working with
PI - not much result.... order Chakara and just waiting for it to arrive...
Best of luck and happy hunting to
you all! :frustrate
Bruce
07-08-2004, 06:24 AM
Infoyoda,
Very interesting
read. Now that I am in my 50s with two kids (one more on the way), I am very glad to have a wife who is careful
about her shape, but when I was young I had a couple of girlfriends who looked fantastic with some extra wt. Moral
of the story is excess wt. can/does become a problem health and lookswise more and more as time goes by. Nowadays
when I go to gatherings where fellow parents meet, there are VERY few women around who I could even imagine sleeping
with. Very nice people too, but virtually all very overweight and it just does not look good at all. I see fit 60
yo women working out at my gym who attract me more than your average 35 yo mother around here. In Japan, I taught K
thru elementery school kids and their parents all looked great and I mean GREAT!
So, anyway; word to the wise
to you young guys: the family who trains together stays together.
Peace,
b
belgareth
07-08-2004, 07:14 AM
As an avid girl watcher most of
my life, I have definate tastes in women. The funny thing is that I've never been in a relationship with a woman
that fits into that mold. Looks are one thing, personality is another. When you get right down to it, I would much
rather be with people who are fun and enjoy themselves. My SO misses my 'perfect' description in almost every
catagory but she is wonderful to be with and that is what matters to me. That's not to say she isn't attractive,
but that's by my own definition too. Other people's opinions of the women I keep company with have never mattered
much to me.
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