View Full Version : Ladies I need your help
Kusro
06-20-2004, 12:45 AM
I am a newbie
with Pheros. I am happily married for 20 years. I bought TA and PPA. Tried to use both separately and in combination
to try
to liven up things in the bedroom a bit. When we do have sex, we do really have a good time. It is the
frequency which has got so less that I feel frustrated that makes think about sex all the time.
Whenever I used
the pheros the only thing that I got was that she snugged too comfortably close to me and had a very deep sleep.
What pheros can I use that will waken her desires for more action in the bedroom? I am so good at massaging that
when I finish she is sound asleep.
What pheros do you use on yourselves if you really wanted to feel really
turned on?
Regards,
Kusro.
JustPeachy
06-20-2004, 02:28 AM
Kusro, the best things I'm
hearing around here are about Chikara. It's not a major turn on (for me), but it's relaxing and pleasant to be
around. I think you'd probably have to check the guy's hit reports to see what they find really works for them.
There was a recent thread
[http://pherolibrary.com/forum/show
thread.php?t=10527 (http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10527&highlight=paint+toenails)] where another guy was asking pretty much the same question, and I thought the best advice
he got was to rely less on the -mones and think more about changing her expectations. Some of it was about practical
matters, and some of it was just horsing around and remembering to have fun (those were pretty much my ideas). Where
men tend to be more visual, we're more...environmental. And we still have to be courted, even after years and
years. If you set the stage well (including leaving home and going to a really nice hotel, if you can), make some
minor changes (such as wearing a new scent), and show up with some small token of your affections (diamonds are fab,
Godiva is excellent, but daisies will usually get it done), you stand a much better chance of taking her out of the
rut she's in. It's possible she's tired, or bored, or suffers from low libido (which is treatable). We go through
lots of changes caused by pregnancies, aging, lifestyle - all kinds of stuff, and we don't always take all those
changes lightly. It's a girl thing. You don't have to fix it. You just have to know it's there and remember not
to take it personally.
It's possible she harbors some unresolved resentment or other. I will certainly
guarantee that after all this time, you have managed to piss her off in at least a thousand different ways. You only
have to worry about the gripes you don't respond to, and the ones she doesn't voice. But I would also just about
guarantee that there was a time when she thought you hung the moon, that you were the studliest dude on the planet,
and that she misses that time very much, whether she says so or not. So talk to her about it. Take a little stroll
down memory lane. The early stuff. Remind her how crazy you were about her, etc. Play whatever music you both liked
at the time. Take her back to a place you went back then. Ask her point blank what it was that made her love you.
She'll remember.
You can probably make it all happen, but you have to make a space for it to happen in (that's
the provider thing at work). So there's your project. If it's really that important to you, you'll make it job
one, and you won't stop if any one thing doesn't work. You'll tinker with it like a high performance engine and
give it the same rapt attention. Forget your gonads for a bit and think about making her feel like a princess. A
princess is a happy girl, and a happy girl is a sexy girl, and the guy who makes a girl feel like a princess is the
guy who gets the goodies fit for a prince.
Happy Tinkering! :D
Kusro
06-20-2004, 03:15 AM
JustPeachy,
Thanks for your well written advise. I thought there was a shortcut by using the pheros! I guess I
was wrong, I have to make her find me as exciting as I was 20 years ago.
I will check out the Chikara thread and
the linked that you posted.
Kusro
I am a newbie with Pheros.
I am happily married for 20 years. I bought TA and PPA. Tried to use both separately and in combination to try
to
liven up things in the bedroom a bit. When we do have sex, we do really have a good time. It is the frequency which
has got so less that I feel frustrated that makes think about sex all the time.
Whenever I used the pheros the
only thing that I got was that she snugged too comfortably close to me and had a very deep sleep. What pheros can I
use that will waken her desires for more action in the bedroom? I am so good at massaging that when I finish she is
sound asleep.
What pheros do you use on yourselves if you really wanted to feel really turned
on?
Regards,
Kusro.
kusro,
I wouldn´t use pheros to turn myself on but if I had to pick one
it would be EW ie copulins.
We tried to help out another guy a while back
http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9706
sadly we never got any feedback. But there´s some tips in that thread to think about.
Massage is great but
when you get it when you´re already tired it can very easily make you go to sleep :D So you can either use a
massage when she is not tired or you stop in time and get sexier instead.
A massage in the morning when she´s
still in bed could work wonders imo.
I´m not sure about TE,I´m surprised that she falls asleep from it rather
than get irritable which is what it does to me, but perhaps it just gives her such a phero buzz and makes her drousy
which will cause her to snooze off.
PPA is fragranced so unless your wife really digs the scent I wouldn´t
bother with it but who knows.
Something like AFA can help her to perk up, and for making yourself sexier AE m or
f or even PI/w which is nol .
I don´t recommend wearing cops yourself at least not EW,PCC perhaps but only a
little.
What pheros do you use on yourselves if you really wanted to feel really turned on?
got any porn at home? :D
CJ
Elana
06-20-2004, 06:01 AM
Kusro, the best
things I'm hearing around here are about Chikara. It's not a major turn on (for me), but it's relaxing and
pleasant to be around. I think you'd probably have to check the guy's hit reports to see what they find really
works for them.
There was a recent thread
[http://pherolibrary.com/forum/show
thread.php?t=10527 (http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10527&highlight=paint+toenails)] where another guy was asking pretty much the same question, and I thought the best advice
he got was to rely less on the -mones and think more about changing her expectations. Some of it was about practical
matters, and some of it was just horsing around and remembering to have fun (those were pretty much my ideas). Where
men tend to be more visual, we're more...environmental. And we still have to be courted, even after years and
years. If you set the stage well (including leaving home and going to a really nice hotel, if you can), make some
minor changes (such as wearing a new scent), and show up with some small token of your affections (diamonds are fab,
Godiva is excellent, but daisies will usually get it done), you stand a much better chance of taking her out of the
rut she's in. It's possible she's tired, or bored, or suffers from low libido (which is treatable). We go through
lots of changes caused by pregnancies, aging, lifestyle - all kinds of stuff, and we don't always take all those
changes lightly. It's a girl thing. You don't have to fix it. You just have to know it's there and remember not
to take it personally.
It's possible she harbors some unresolved resentment or other. I will certainly
guarantee that after all this time, you have managed to piss her off in at least a thousand different ways. You only
have to worry about the gripes you don't respond to, and the ones she doesn't voice. But I would also just about
guarantee that there was a time when she thought you hung the moon, that you were the studliest dude on the planet,
and that she misses that time very much, whether she says so or not. So talk to her about it. Take a little stroll
down memory lane. The early stuff. Remind her how crazy you were about her, etc. Play whatever music you both liked
at the time. Take her back to a place you went back then. Ask her point blank what it was that made her love you.
She'll remember.
You can probably make it all happen, but you have to make a space for it to happen in (that's
the provider thing at work). So there's your project. If it's really that important to you, you'll make it job
one, and you won't stop if any one thing doesn't work. You'll tinker with it like a high performance engine and
give it the same rapt attention. Forget your gonads for a bit and think about making her feel like a princess. A
princess is a happy girl, and a happy girl is a sexy girl, and the guy who makes a girl feel like a princess is the
guy who gets the goodies fit for a prince.
Happy Tinkering! :D
Everyone give Peachy serious rep
points for this!!! :)
Another excellent Peachy post.
Gossamer_2701
06-20-2004, 06:04 AM
Kusro,
Maybe you
should take a different aproach and focus on mones to make your wife feel sexy and sensual;) I know a few of the
ladies here have mentioned that AE/w makes them feel very sexy and that is usually the first step in turning up the
heat in the bedroom.
I don't know to much about how certain product make the ladies feel (aside from what some
have posted about AE/w) but I think that you need to make her feel sexy and desired..... maybe mix up some mone
laced lotion or look into aroma therapy using different combos of essential oils and mones.
But most of all....
I think you should bring this up with your wife in a discreet way.... find out why things have decreased in the
bedroom and discuss a way to spice things up. Mention the ladies 'mones to her and see if she'd be willing to give
it a try..... she may not even realize that this is a problem for you.
Best of luck,
Goss
Mention the ladies 'mones to
her and see if she'd be willing to give it a try..... totally not keen on this one :p She should not be
the one using mones but him. Or using the oil burner
find out why things have decreased in the
bedroom very often it´s not bedroom related at all, she could be stressed in need of a break. Do you
share the workload around the house...etc. There´s lots of ways you can make her feel appreciated and find more
time for lovey dovey stuff.
Elana
06-20-2004, 08:16 AM
very often it´s not bedroom
related at all, she could be stressed in need of a break. Do you share the workload around the house...etc. There´s
lots of ways you can make her feel appreciated and find more time for lovey dovey stuff.
Excellent point,
Ms. CJ :)
belgareth
06-20-2004, 09:16 AM
My experience is that even
after years of being together a woman wants to be romanced. You described laying in bed watching TV for a couple
hours then asking her if she wants to fool around; not very romantic.
Everybody here had some good points, you
need to mix and match to come up with something that works. My own suggestions are to start paying attention to her
feelings in general and make her feel special. Seduce her! There are hundreds of little things to do. For no good
reason, walk up behind her and rub her shoulders for a minute then walk away. Or kiss the back of her neck. Bring
her flowers, or better yet, send them to her while she's at work. Call her during the day and take her out to a
nice lunch without the kids. Go home early, arrange for a neighbor or friend to take the kids for the evening. Buy
or prepare a simple dinner with candlelight and wine. Don't let her do any of the clean up either, give her the
whole evening off without pressure. Be friendly, funny, considerate and loving. Not just when you want to get laid,
but as a daily part of your life.
A couple I know take a weekend every other month and run away (That's what
they call it) They leave the kids with a sitter for the weekend and go to a B&B, preferably one with a hot tub, for
a couple days. They also have a couple dates every month where they simply go to dinner and a movie or something
similar, without the kids.
The idea is to bring the romance and fun back into your relationship. It's hard with
kids and jobs and such but if you want to stay happily married, you need to be not just a husband but a lover. And
that doesn't mean just getting sex, it means being that guy she married way back before all the responsibility got
dumped on your shoulders.
I'm not saying it's all your fault, it usually is both people contributing to the
problem. Fixing it isn't going to be easy or quick but with time and effort, it will probably be well worth it. On
last word, just because you are doing things for her, don't let it lead you into becoming subservient to her.
There's a fine balance between being good and becoming a slave.
Sexyredhead
06-20-2004, 09:51 AM
Kusro, the
best things I'm hearing around here are about Chikara. It's not a major turn on (for me), but it's relaxing and
pleasant to be around. I think you'd probably have to check the guy's hit reports to see what they find really
works for them.
There was a recent thread
[http://pherolibrary.com/forum/show
thread.php?t=10527 (http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=10527&highlight=paint+toenails)] where another guy was asking pretty much the same question, and I thought the best advice
he got was to rely less on the -mones and think more about changing her expectations. Some of it was about practical
matters, and some of it was just horsing around and remembering to have fun (those were pretty much my ideas). Where
men tend to be more visual, we're more...environmental. And we still have to be courted, even after years and
years. If you set the stage well (including leaving home and going to a really nice hotel, if you can), make some
minor changes (such as wearing a new scent), and show up with some small token of your affections (diamonds are fab,
Godiva is excellent, but daisies will usually get it done), you stand a much better chance of taking her out of the
rut she's in. It's possible she's tired, or bored, or suffers from low libido (which is treatable). We go through
lots of changes caused by pregnancies, aging, lifestyle - all kinds of stuff, and we don't always take all those
changes lightly. It's a girl thing. You don't have to fix it. You just have to know it's there and remember not
to take it personally.
It's possible she harbors some unresolved resentment or other. I will certainly
guarantee that after all this time, you have managed to piss her off in at least a thousand different ways. You only
have to worry about the gripes you don't respond to, and the ones she doesn't voice. But I would also just about
guarantee that there was a time when she thought you hung the moon, that you were the studliest dude on the planet,
and that she misses that time very much, whether she says so or not. So talk to her about it. Take a little stroll
down memory lane. The early stuff. Remind her how crazy you were about her, etc. Play whatever music you both liked
at the time. Take her back to a place you went back then. Ask her point blank what it was that made her love you.
She'll remember.
You can probably make it all happen, but you have to make a space for it to happen in
(that's the provider thing at work). So there's your project. If it's really that important to you, you'll make
it job one, and you won't stop if any one thing doesn't work. You'll tinker with it like a high performance
engine and give it the same rapt attention. Forget your gonads for a bit and think about making her feel like a
princess. A princess is a happy girl, and a happy girl is a sexy girl, and the guy who makes a girl feel like a
princess is the guy who gets the goodies fit for a prince.
Happy Tinkering! :D
E's
right, you deserve serious rep points for this. Because for all the quick fixes and shortcuts that people try to
take, the on thing that's really gonna work in the long run is to make the person you love feel like they're the
most important and most precious thing in the world.
Unfortunately, <frustrated sigh> I still can't
give you rep points, so I'm applauding you from here. :D
Ask her point blank what it
was that made her love you. sorry but this is one thing I would not recommend. Frankly it´s one dumb****
thing you should never ask someone because usually it´s not answerable anyway plus it makes you start analysing in
order to find a possible answer and the romance goes out the window. Romance shouldn´t be analysed because it takes
away the magic that makes it so special. But that´s just how I would feel about it. :p
Another thing is
that you might think `good question - what did I see in this person...well back then he had a nice ass, hot legs, he
was sporty, paid me more attention,he was romantic... and now he´s turned into a middle-aged git and never even
takes me out for dinner...... time to go out on the pull and pick up some hot young stud!...´ etc
-just an example
of how the mind can go off in the totally wrong direction :D not saying you´re a boring old fart :)
JustPeachy
06-20-2004, 11:06 AM
sorry but this is
one thing I would not recommend. Frankly it´s one dumb**** thing you should never ask someone because usually it´s
not answerable anyway plus it makes you start analysing in order to find a possible answer and the romance goes out
the window. Romance shouldn´t be analysed because it takes away the magic that makes it so special. But that´s just
how I would feel about it. :p
Another thing is that you might think `good question - what did I see in
this person...well back then he had a nice ass, hot legs, he was sporty, paid me more attention,he was romantic...
and now he´s turned into a middle-aged git and never even takes me out for dinner...... time to go out on the pull
and pick up some hot young stud!...´ etc
-just an example of how the mind can go off in the totally wrong direction
:D not saying you´re a boring old fart :)
Yep. My bad. CJ is right on here. :o Prolly semantics. I was
thinking more along the lines of personal qualities - not the physical stuff. She may feel like a boring old matron,
and reminding her of that definitely won't help anything.
Although...a lot of women are pretty much programmed
to think family first and disregard their own needs a lot. Most of us brush that stuff off as trivial and cosmetic.
After all, Jr. needs braces and the carpeting needs to be replaced. After 20 years and, I assume, kids and so forth,
she may not feel that she is physically very attractive any more. There're all those things already listed that you
can do to let her know you feel otherwise, but there are also things she might like to do, if she got the idea that
she really could or should. You'd be amazed how a single tiny line or the slightest sag or dimple can decimate a
woman's self-confidence. She might not tell you, but I swear to you - her closest female friend knows EXACTLY what
bugs her most! Enlist that woman to help you choose the next major gift you give her. It may be a trip to a local
spa or a dermatologist or high-end salon, but this is very necessary Princess Activation Stuff(tm). Just tell her
friend you want to give your lady the most incredible Happy Girly Princess thing she can think of. You will SO
score major rep with both of them!
And thanks for the rep, guys! You are toooo cool!
After reading through all these
wonderful thoughts about rekindling the old spark this thought came to me. SCREW IT!!!! Get yourself some young HOT
thang on the side.
Seriously though. This topic comes up quite often. I have a friend I just sent a mail to
who's wife has shut down on him sexually. I like his wife a lot but she's always been a little on the up-tight
side of things. One look at her and you can tell she ain't no Elana. I mean you'd have to use a 4-wheel drive tow
truck to pull an orgasm out of her. She's been 100% shut down on him for two years now so he's been using his
hand. Not my idea of what a marriage is all about but different strokes for different folks. No pun intended. He
tells me that intercourse is painful for her so, understandably, she doesn't do it any more. A mutual friend of
ours suggested the use of another hole. Not an option for this women and she ain't into BJ's either. From a sexual
point of view I never could figure out why he married her but Love is Love.
Anyway I got tired of listening to
his tail(no tail) of woe so I finally told him that Estrogen was her problem. Or lack of Estrogen. Low Est levels
have dried up her Libido and her pussy. I told him it's an easy fix which it is. I told him to do a Google:
estrogen+vagina+menopause. Another good one is pussy+shutdown+frustration+blue+balls. All the info is on the net
on how this stuff works. Researching it and finding an answer is so easy but it gets difficult cuz most women don't
like to talk about plumbing problems. I know his wife well enough to know that she ain't going to want to go there
and that's Estrogen again. NO LIBIDO !!! She's probably always had hormone imbalance issues and has never really
enjoyed sex all that much to begin with so she has no DRIVE to get it fixed and that's a shame cuz she's missing
out on a big part of being a whole women.
When I see these no-knooky Threads come up I always look to the
possible underlying physiological problems first. Is menopause a factor? Is a new birth control pill a factor? Some
pills shut some women down completely. A pill that has been partially shutting a women down sexually with out her
even knowing it may shut her down completely in her mid 40's when menopause starts to hit. Another thing to look at
is Anti depressants. MOST AD's shut down the sex shop for both men and women. ALL these problems have solutions but
the biggest problem is communication between men and women. If you can, you have to talk to her and she has to talk
to you! How important is your marriage?
DrSmellThis
06-20-2004, 11:31 AM
Chikara, arouser, A1.
(nice post, AAAAAAAAAAsh)
Chikara, arouser,
A1.
(nice post, AAAAAAAAAAsh)
THANKS
DOC!!!!!
Ash is making another good point -it
could well be hormones and yes hormone imbalance can start earlier than the actual menopause or rather some start at
a younger age than others.
A health check up would be a good idea,not just for this matter but it´s good in any
case because it´s important anyhow :)
But maybe it´s not as dramatic at that at all. But you´re the only one
here who can figure it out as you´re the one married to her.
JustPeachy
06-20-2004, 12:32 PM
I wouldn't suggest
self-medicating for this without investigating first. There can be lots of reasons for painful intercourse -
endometriosis, cysts, PID, STD's, prolapsed uterus, badly executed hystorectomies and otherwise-screwed-up ligament
tissue, and intestinal gas, as well as hormone imbalances and other stuff. And then, there's the problem of highly
undesirable side-effects from the wrong type of estrogen, if that's what's needed. Seeing an OB-GYN royally sucks
IMHO, and you really have to take a lot of management initiative and being prepared to do your own research when
working with them, but most of this stuff is very treatable.
Seeing an OB-GYN royally sucks
IMHO who likes gynos? :D I mean than damn chair was NOT designed by a woman that´s for sure and if it was
she had something seriously wrong with her maybe she was a masochist or something.
Hate the fact that there´s
usually a second person there and it´s always a bloody woman,even if there is good reason for this but still! :p :D
Those hormones tests aren´t cheap if there´s a way for insurance to pay get them to cough up.
I´d don´t
recommend self medication either especially when dealing with hormones. Besides you always need the right diagnose
before you can start any sort of treatment.
As I said though, chances are it´s not a medical problem at all :)
Elana
06-20-2004, 01:16 PM
Seeing an OB-GYN royally
sucks IMHO,
That's why I am off the pill. I dreaded going back every 6 months just to have my
prescription renewed, I decided to give my self a break from the dreaded clamps.
I wouldn't suggest
self-medicating for this without investigating first. There can be lots of reasons for painful intercourse -
endometriosis, cysts, PID, STD's, prolapsed uterus, badly executed hystorectomies and otherwise-screwed-up ligament
tissue, and intestinal gas, as well as hormone imbalances and other stuff. And then, there's the problem of highly
undesirable side-effects from the wrong type of estrogen, if that's what's needed. Seeing an OB-GYN royally sucks
IMHO, and you really have to take a lot of management initiative and being prepared to do your own research when
working with them, but most of this stuff is very treatable.
All of what you wrote above is TRUE
Peachy and great info! Self treating is difficult to do for men but almost impossible for women. Wayyy tooooo much
going on with women's hormone issues and it takes a real good Dr. to get to the heart of the problem. The point I
was trying to make was that all the ROMANCE in the world isn't going to do much good if there is an underlying
hormone/libido problem. It might even make things worse from a guilt trip point of view. If you get my meaning.
Here's the way I see things and please take into account that I'm a guy and a Pig! If everything is in balance
for a women hormonally, than sexual desire is going to be there, especially if she's involved in a loving,
committed relationship. All relationships have problems from time to time but if the women is healthy sexually then
sexual desire is going to be as big a part of her life as it is for a sexually healthy man. She's going to want to
have sex with her mate just as much if not more than her guy does. For some reason Elana comes to mind here again.
OTOH, most women are totally different then men when it comes to what turns them on and serious romance is the way
to most women's libido's. Holding hands, hugs, soft music, candle light, slow dances, great conversation with the
men doing all the listening and making the appropriate affirmative comment at just the right time. These are the
things that make for the big O for most women. Those and the ability of the man to "Lick the Box" properly.
That's the way I see things now that I'm older and wiser and almost ready to die but keep in mind that I'm a
man and I'm a Pig! ;)
If everything is in balance for
a women hormonally, than sexual desire is going to be there, especially if she's involved in a loving, committed
relationship. All relationships have problems from time to time but if the women is healthy sexually then sexual
desire is going to be as big a part of her life as it is for a sexually healthy man. She's going to want to have
sex with her mate just as much if not more than her guy does. For some reason Elana comes to mind here again. OTOH,
most women are totally different then men when it comes to what turns them on and serious romance is the way to most
women's libido's. Holding hands, hugs, soft music, candle light, slow dances, great conversation with the men
doing all the listening and making the appropriate affirmative comment at just the right time. These are the things
that make for the big O for most women. Those and the ability of the man to "Lick the Box" properly.
whatever you say Ash :p ;)
No CJ, as a women it's whatever YOU
say! So, as a women, what do YOU say? What gets CJ off? :D
Elana
06-20-2004, 02:01 PM
The reading poetry to each other,
skipping through the daisy field, gazing in each others eyes is what turns me OFF! :D It also makes me run for a
barf bag.
Elana
06-20-2004, 02:04 PM
But I still do insist on being the
only woman in his life and the most important person to him. He needs to know what makes E happy. Women are all
different and we all want different things. Men just need to pay attention to what their woman wants.
THIS GOES
BOTH WAYS!
sorry but this is one
thing I would not recommend. Frankly it´s one dumb**** thing you should never ask someone because usually it´s not
answerable anyway plus it makes you start analysing in order to find a possible answer and the romance goes out the
window. Romance shouldn´t be analysed because it takes away the magic that makes it so special. But that´s just
how I would feel about it. :p
Another thing is that you might think `good question - what did I see
in this person...well back then he had a nice ass, hot legs, he was sporty, paid me more attention,he was
romantic... and now he´s turned into a middle-aged git and never even takes me out for dinner...... time to go out
on the pull and pick up some hot young stud!...´ etc
-just an example of how the mind can go off in the totally
wrong direction :D not saying you´re a boring old fart :)
Sorry I am going to have to disagree,
communication is the key here.
If your wife has is moving into a different direction then there is no magic
formula to bring her around.
In a quiet moment get close to your wife and tell her that you love her and find
her incredibly sexy. Tell her about your concerns about the frequency of your intimacy; ask her if there is
anything you can do to bring back the spark.
Then gauge her reaction if she become angry and defensive then you
have a bigger problem here, professional counseling may then be needed.
DCW
The reading poetry to
each other, skipping through the daisy field, gazing in each others eyes is what turns me OFF! :D It also makes me
run for a barf bag.
Yeah, kinda turns me off too and it doesn't come naturally to me but if I'm with
someone I like and that's what she needs than I'll give as much of that to her as I can.
No CJ, as a women it's
whatever YOU say! So, as a women, what do YOU say? What gets CJ off? :D
sorry but I´ve been watching 2
football matches at the same time tonight,never mind
Quote:
Originally Posted
by CJ01
sorry but this is one thing I would not recommend. Frankly it´s one dumb**** thing you should
never ask someone because usually it´s not answerable anyway plus it makes you start analysing in order to find a
possible answer and the romance goes out the window. Romance shouldn´t be analysed because it takes away the magic
that makes it so special. But that´s just how I would feel about it. :p
Another thing is that you might
think `good question - what did I see in this person...well back then he had a nice ass, hot legs, he was sporty,
paid me more attention,he was romantic... and now he´s turned into a middle-aged git and never even takes me out for
dinner...... time to go out on the pull and pick up some hot young stud!...´ etc
-just an example of how the mind
can go off in the totally wrong direction :D not saying you´re a boring old fart :)
Sorry I am going to
have to disagree, communication is the key here.
If your wife has is moving into a different direction then there
is no magic formula to bring her around.
In a quiet moment get close to your wife and tell her that you love her
and find her incredibly sexy. Tell her about your concerns about the frequency of your intimacy ask her if there is
anything you can do to bring back the spark.
Then gauge her reaction if she become angry and defensive then you
have a bigger problem here, professional counseling may then be needed.
DCW
you´re not actually
disagreing, you´re taking a different angle on the subject altogether. What you´re suggesting about making her feel
wanted and sexy is is spot on and the first step and there´s many ways to show someone they´re special and desirable
etc.
Tell her about your concerns about the frequency of your intimacy that might be putting her
uunder pressure which is not exactly a turn on. Mind you it can depend on how you say it and get it
across... :)
ask her if there is anything you can do to bring back the spark.
no you don´t
ask,you get those grey cells going and think of something yourself and go ahead and do it! I mean one ought to come
up with thir own ideas of seduction and romantic gestures etc. :p :D
PS do you do a lot of laughing
together? Humour is soooo important imo, make her laugh and give her a good time,make her smile :) and flirt!
I
met an elderly couple (in their 70´s -??) once when I was still in my teens at a small dinner do. I swear to god
those two were flirting the whole time and being funny - that was really cool. Okay I´ve no idea about what their
sex life was like but frankly I didn´t WANT to know! Fact is though they were obviously very happy together :)
It´s a slightly off topic story but I just remembered this and wanted throw it in :D
you´re not actually
disagreing, you´re taking a different angle on the subject altogether. What you´re suggesting about making her feel
wanted and sexy is is spot on and the first step and there´s many ways to show someone they´re special and desirable
etc.
that might be putting her uunder pressure which is not exactly a turn on. Mind you it can depend on
how you say it and get it across... :)
no you don´t ask,you get those grey cells going and think of
something yourself and go ahead and do it! I mean one ought to come up with thir own ideas of seduction and
romantic gestures etc. :p :D
I'm thinking about a long term solution not some seduction
technique to get some pum pum.
What I'm saying is that here might be something under the surface that needs to
be brought to the surface and get resolved.
DCW
sorry but I´ve been
watching 2 football matches at the same time tonight,never mind
Why the duck CJ? Just when it gets
interesting you always cut and run. So, out with it. What gets CJ's boat floating?
JustPeachy
06-20-2004, 04:20 PM
I'm thinking about
a long term solution not some seduction technique to get some pum pum.
What I'm saying is that here might be
something under the surface that needs to be brought to the surface and get resolved.
DCW
You
could even be right. In the long term. However - going out and bringing a "disinterested" third party into one's
sex life can be a major joykiller, right there. (Unless you are KoolKing, in which case you STILL wouldn't want a
"disinterested" 3rd party. Or maybe they like that, too. :D )
I thought bel made a good point earlier, too.
You don't want to come on all subbie unless that's something you're both into. The idea is to come on all strong,
stable, alpha male provider - but stay on target as far as finding out what SHE really wants. Strong, stable Alpha
guys are tough enough and cool enough to do that. Even strong women dig being pampered, and the notion that strong
women want weak men is possibly the biggest urban myth in existence. (If anything, strong women want an even
stronger man than most. And you can totally trust me on that point, because I KNOW. :D Find one who doesn't, and
I'll show you an Academy Award in the making.)
a.k.a.
06-20-2004, 04:48 PM
I bought TA and PPA.
Tried to use both separately and in combination
Do you mean TE? How much did you use? A tinny dab of this
stuff, rubbed between my wrists, does wonders for rousing my gf out of a peaceful slumber.
the
only thing that I got was that she snugged too comfortably close to me and had a very deep sleep.
Maybe
I'm reading too much into the symbolism of this gesture. (Man sends out strong signal of his virility. Woman
cuddles up and drifts into a deep sleep.) Is your wife under some kind of stress? Does she have reason to feel
insecure?
(Also, what does "too comfortably close" mean? Is your wife still in pretty good shape or has she let
herself go?)
I'm thinking about a long term
solution not some seduction technique to get some pum pum. same here but you have to start somewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted
by CJ01
sorry but I´ve been watching 2 football matches at the same time tonight,never mind
Why
the duck CJ? Just when it gets interesting you always cut and run. So, out with it. What gets CJ's boat
floating?
not ducking just tired of repeating myself the whole time on this board about certain issues
:p
LadyWithQuestions
07-01-2004, 04:49 PM
My
experience is that even after years of being together a woman wants to be romanced. You described laying in bed
watching TV for a couple hours then asking her if she wants to fool around; not very romantic.
Everybody
here had some good points, you need to mix and match to come up with something that works. My own suggestions are to
start paying attention to her feelings in general and make her feel special. Seduce her! There are hundreds of
little things to do. For no good reason, walk up behind her and rub her shoulders for a minute then walk away. Or
kiss the back of her neck. Bring her flowers, or better yet, send them to her while she's at work. Call her during
the day and take her out to a nice lunch without the kids. Go home early, arrange for a neighbor or friend to take
the kids for the evening. Buy or prepare a simple dinner with candlelight and wine. Don't let her do any of the
clean up either, give her the whole evening off without pressure. Be friendly, funny, considerate and loving. Not
just when you want to get laid, but as a daily part of your life.
A couple I know take a weekend every other
month and run away (That's what they call it) They leave the kids with a sitter for the weekend and go to a B&B,
preferably one with a hot tub, for a couple days. They also have a couple dates every month where they simply go to
dinner and a movie or something similar, without the kids.
The idea is to bring the romance and fun back
into your relationship. It's hard with kids and jobs and such but if you want to stay happily married, you need to
be not just a husband but a lover. And that doesn't mean just getting sex, it means being that guy she married way
back before all the responsibility got dumped on your shoulders.
I'm not saying it's all your fault, it
usually is both people contributing to the problem. Fixing it isn't going to be easy or quick but with time and
effort, it will probably be well worth it. On last word, just because you are doing things for her, don't let it
lead you into becoming subservient to her. There's a fine balance between being good and becoming a
slave.
How do I give points to the writer of this wonderful advice? It's the best-written advice
I've ever read and so perfectly-put. How do we give points to the poster?
THANK YOU for the wonderful
advice. =)
LWQ
belgareth
07-02-2004, 02:40 AM
How do
I give points to the writer of this wonderful advice? It's the best-written advice I've ever read and so
perfectly-put. How do we give points to the poster?
THANK YOU for the wonderful advice. =)
LWQ
You're welcome M' Lady. :)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.2 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.