Bookstore again, need advice? From Ian

[happyman]

Well I went to the Book Store where I study. I was going to sit down and I seen this attractive girl and she was

looking at me dazed it seemed. I said Hi and sat down in my table. I wanted to talk to her but held back for 5

minutes or so and after I was settled. You don't have to dive right in. If you know she will be there wait atleast

5. So I did. I then told her she had a nice necklace to initiate the conversation. We talked for about 15 to 20

minutes. She talked alot to me and kinda was looking at me I don't know in a slightly "Daisey" kind of way. I had

SOE on. So she explained she worked at a dentist office. I asked for her number to help fix her computer. She

hesitated and said she was sorry and that she doesn't give her number out but asked for my contact info. I gave her

my card. I told her I should make an appoitment with the dentisit office where she works. She said I should and told

me where it was and gave me the number there. (don't worry, my teeth are fine I just need them cleaned as I told

her I would like to have done and it was in our conversation). She mentioned her ex-husband to let me know she

wasn't married I think after she mentioned her two kids in conversation. She has two kids. She was very attractive

and professional. She kept talking to me but didn't pass the number? She has two kids though. I am not interested

in getting too involved with someone with two kids to be honest. I don't want to get 100% involved with anyone as

in something serious. What to do? If anything??? Is it even worth it? It won't make or beak me either way.


Happy

[happyman]

By the way she had totally good

eye contact the whole 15-20 minute conversation and had like a slightly daisey look to her and she had her legs

crossed towards me. What was the daisey kinda look? Somewhat "starry eyed" and or gleeming. Was it the SOE pheromone

thing.?
Ian

[kossBass]

hah man if i was you i would do

her and den leave her haha jokez

[kossBass]

hey bro just wonderin u just

used SOE standalone ?? and where about did you apply dem and how much of it

[happyman]

hey bro just

wonderin u just used SOE standalone ?? and where about did you apply dem and how much of it
I apllied 2

swipes to my fore arms. and 3 quarter swipes to my ears and hair by each ear. Total like 4 swipes. And it was SOE on

it's own. Nothing eles.

[happyman]

hah man if i was

you i would do her and den leave her haha jokez
LOL Yeah. I would like that but I wouldn't want her to

take it wrong if that did happen.
Ian

[CptKipling]

Well I went to

the Book Store where I study. I was going to sit down and I seen this attractive girl and she was looking at me

dazed it seemed. I said Hi and sat down in my table. I wanted to talk to her but held back for 5 minutes or so and

after I was settled. You don't have to dive right in. If you know she will be there wait atleast 5. So I did. I

then told her she had a nice necklace to initiate the conversation. We talked for about 15 to 20 minutes. She talked

alot to me and kinda was looking at me I don't know in a slightly "Daisey" kind of way. I had SOE on. So she

explained she worked at a dentist office. I asked for her number to help fix her computer. She hesitated and said

she was sorry and that she doesn't give her number out but asked for my contact info. I gave her my card. I told

her I should make an appoitment with the dentisit office where she works. She said I should and told me where it was

and gave me the number there. (don't worry, my teeth are fine I just need them cleaned as I told her I would like

to have done and it was in our conversation). She mentioned her ex-husband to let me know she wasn't married I

think after she mentioned her two kids in conversation. She has two kids. She was very attractive and professional.

She kept talking to me but didn't pass the number? She has two kids though. I am not interested in getting too

involved with someone with two kids to be honest. I don't want to get 100% involved with anyone as in something

serious. What to do? If anything??? Is it even worth it? It won't make or beak me either way.
Happy
I

would leave it well alone, it's not cool to mess around a single mum.

[dping28]

I agree with CptKipling, if your

not looking for anything serious Id just let it be.

[JustPeachy]

I agree with

CptKipling, if your not looking for anything serious Id just let it be.
What makes you think SHE'S

looking for anything serious? Single moms have needs too, ya know!

Wait! I got it! How about....you tell her

you're not interested in a heavy relationship right now, and let her decide if she's cool with that?


:D

Gyads! Something about mones and dating advice aimed at men. Turns every guy into some kind of 007. :D

[happyman]

Single Mom's are relationship

based. The odds of her just wanting a wild fling are very slim. I am sure there are some exceptions but few and far

between. I don't think it's for me. I slept on it. If I have a change of mind I may see what's up with it. Who

knows but right now that is kinda out of my scope. Anymore good thoughts on it? An what was the glazed gleemy look?

SOE?

[Elana]

Single Mom's are

relationship based.
Huh??? :confused:
They all are?

[JustPeachy]

Single Mom's

are relationship based. The odds of her just wanting a wild fling are very slim. I am sure there are some exceptions

but few and far between. I don't think it's for me. I slept on it. If I have a change of mind I may see what's up

with it. Who knows but right now that is kinda out of my scope. Anymore good thoughts on it? An what was the glazed

gleemy look? SOE?
You have a LOT to learn about single mommies! :D :D :D

[tounge]

Look youngin. Just ask her to meet

you for coffee at the bookstore coffeeshop. Or one nearby. Ona different night. If she declines, than move on. If

yes, than get to know her, before you make all these silly assumptions.

Your other option is to invite me to

your town and I will show you how to bag her. Then the next day I'll tell you why your asumptions were incorrect.

[DrSmellThis]

You could tell her what you

want, and let her be a big girl and make up her own mind on that. :)

[Pancho1188]

You have a

LOT to learn about single mommies! :D :D :D
Yeah...after all, how do you think she became a mother of

two?!?!?

*groan*

:rolleyes:

[Elana]

You could tell

her what you want, and let her be a big girl and make up her own mind on that. :)
Who wudda thunk?

:confused:

[jose]

If you're uneasy or don't plan on

taking care of someone's kids then you better forget about it. The number one thing in her life are her children,

you come in second. God help you if the kids don't like you, which is another scenario.

[JustPeachy]

If you're uneasy

or don't plan on taking care of someone's kids then you better forget about it. The number one thing in her life

are her children, you come in second. God help you if the kids don't like you, which is another scenario.


Note to Self: Be very, very sure to carry written resume at all times. :rolleyes:

[happyman]

Look youngin. Just

ask her to meet you for coffee at the bookstore coffeeshop. Or one nearby. Ona different night. If she declines,

than move on. If yes, than get to know her, before you make all these silly assumptions.

Your other option is

to invite me to your town and I will show you how to bag her. Then the next day I'll tell you why your asumptions

were incorrect.

lol. Well I am flattered here. However, I think I can bag(<am my off by a letter

there....) her on my own I think. You're right on one thing though. That's the assuming part. Too often people

assume and never understand what happend or miss the bus altogether. As far as "nabbing" shall we say, her what

advice can you share?
Thank you for your quality input.


Happy

[happyman]

If you're uneasy or

don't plan on taking care of someone's kids then you better forget about it. The number one thing in her life are

her children, you come in second. God help you if the kids don't like you, which is another

scenario.

Well not to be a jerk about it but I could care less about her kids liking me. I am not

planning on sleeping with them. I would'nt even be thinking about that aspect of it all. The kids could not like

anyone she dates for one reason or another. Remember I said I wasn't looking for anything serious. I'd be nice to

the kids if I met them but Gee I haven't even gotten a phone number to go on lol. Tried though. Yeah, her kids are

very important to her though as should be and they definately come in above anyone or anything eles.

[happyman]

You have a LOT

to learn about single mommies! :D :D :D
Like what Peachy? Educate me here. And what was the gazy

look? Her eyes sparkeled. I know what that means normally but I was wondering if that is a common SOE

characteristic?

[SweetBrenda]

Well not to

be a jerk about it but I could care less about her kids liking me. I am not planning on sleeping with them. I

would'nt even be thinking about that aspect of it all. The kids could not like anyone she dates for one reason or

another. Remember I said I wasn't looking for anything serious. I'd be nice to the kids if I met them but Gee

I haven't even gotten a phone number to go on lol. Tried though. Yeah, her kids are very

important to her though as should be and they definately come in above anyone or anything eles.Try to get

number next time..
Good Luck to you! MrHappy.

[happyman]

You could

tell her what you want, and let her be a big girl and make up her own mind on that. :)

Ahhh Dr.,
A

pleasure to have you're company. Yes you're right. No wonder you're the Doctor. By the way Knights are maybe not

as benenficial in the end game as a bishop but remember what set the end-game up. If you're that type of Chess

player. A knight is the most hard to pin down of all peices. The Knight cannot be blocked either. Also Knights are

so tricky. I trade anyone a Knight for a bishop
as long as material and positioning are even.


Thanks Doc,


Happy

[happyman]

Try to get

number next time..
Good Luck to you! MrHappy.

Brenda I told you about staying up this

late.....:)
Happy

[happyman]

Huh???

:confused:
They all are?
Well one out of 1,000 isn't but as for single Mom's with two kids 1 and a

zillion may not be.....and that's being nice. Although others here are saying....."wake up kid" to me here on this

issue so who knows.
Happy

[SweetBrenda]

Brenda I told

you about staying up this late.....:)
HappyI know you did ,,,and even gave me great

advice but as you can see I'm around this late.:eek: .But I think I'm going to lay down right now. I have to be at

work in a few hours and I need some sleep!
Take Care MrHappy:)

[JustPeachy]

Like what

Peachy? Educate me here. And what was the gazy look? Her eyes sparkeled. I know what that means normally but I was

wondering if that is a common SOE characteristic?
Like, let go of the whole madonna complex thing, for

starters. Single moms are a whole lot more likely to be interested in something for themselves that DOESN'T involve

the tricycle motors. You want to do something cool, offer to pay for a sitter so she can go to dinner with you.

You've got this woman painted up to be Mother Teresa, and just about as accessible, AND a burden to your future

lifestyle, AND WORST OF ALL - you have assumed her to be damaged goods. For all you know, she may vastly prefer not

to have you around pretending to like her children, and she could really couldn't care less how you like your eggs

in the morning. She may have been thinking much more short term than that.

Everything I just said could be 100%

true, 100% false, or anything in between. The point is, you don't know, because you didn't take time to find out.

If you wanted to know why she had a kind of glowing gaze, you could have asked her right then and there. But you

didn't. All you were interested in was was getting laid at your complete convenience. These services can be had, of

course, but they usually cost a good deal more than a sitter, and don't generally involve the kind of women you

seem to find interesting. It reminds me of something a perennially single guy once said to me about seeing an

attractive woman walk into a room. She crosses the room and sits near another guy. In his head, she's already

cheating on him. All the mones in the world aren't gonna resolve that kind of thing. Chemist made some very wise

points about that recently.

[Elana]

Like, let go of

the whole madonna complex thing, for starters. Single moms are a whole lot more likely to be interested in something

for themselves that DOESN'T involve the tricycle motors. You want to do something cool, offer to pay for a sitter

so she can go to dinner with you. You've got this woman painted up to be Mother Teresa, and just about as

accessible, AND a burden to your future lifestyle, AND WORST OF ALL - you have assumed her to be damaged goods. For

all you know, she may vastly prefer not to have you around pretending to like her children, and she could really

couldn't care less how you like your eggs in the morning. She may have been thinking much more short term than

that.

Everything I just said could be 100% true, 100% false, or anything in between. The point is, you don't

know, because you didn't take time to find out. If you wanted to know why she had a kind of glowing gaze, you could

have asked her right then and there. But you didn't. All you were interested in was was getting laid at your

complete convenience. These services can be had, of course, but they usually cost a good deal more than a sitter,

and don't generally involve the kind of women you seem to find interesting. It reminds me of something a

perennially single guy once said to me about seeing an attractive woman walk into a room. She crosses the room and

sits near another guy. In his head, she's already cheating on him. All the mones in the world aren't gonna resolve

that kind of thing. Chemist made some very wise points about that recently.
Fantastic, JustPeachy! It's

so cool of you to take the time to share such great advice with these guys. The sad part is, only a few are going to

listen....the rest are going to continue getting all of their information from the Dr. ScrewEmHard manual. :p

[Gossamer_2701]

Fantastic,

JustPeachy! It's so cool of you to take the time to share such great advice with these guys. The sad part is, only

a few are going to listen....the rest are going to continue getting all of their information from the Dr.

ScrewEmHard manual. :p

Whats that ya say.... I can't hear you... the good Dr. is explaining how to

close the deal ;)

Seriously, that was a great post JustPeachy!!!! Every situation is different, just as every

woman is different..... and you just need to step up and see what happens without making assumptions beforehand.

[Elana]

Well one out of

1,000 isn't but as for single Mom's with two kids 1 and a zillion may not be.....and that's being nice. Although

others here are saying....."wake up kid" to me here on this issue so who knows.
HappyThat was just too

ridiculous for me to not comment on. :D:D

This is my comment................ :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[dping28]

The reason I agreed with

CptKipling was because of her hesitation to give out her number. Now I know I am far from understanding women and

picking up their signals it was just what I thought would be best. But I can be and most the time am wrong. :)

[JustPeachy]

Fantastic,

JustPeachy! It's so cool of you to take the time to share such great advice with these guys. The sad part is, only

a few are going to listen....the rest are going to continue getting all of their information from the Dr.

ScrewEmHard manual. :p
Ahhhh, Elana! We do it in a burst of philanthropic hope that even just one fellow

fem traveller may partake of that golden pleasure that is The Liberated Man. :D

[Elana]

Ahhhh, Elana! We

do it in a burst of philanthropic hope that even just one fellow fem traveller may partake of that golden pleasure

that is The Liberated Man. :D
You have such faith. :D

[Elana]

The reason I agreed

with CptKipling was because of her hesitation to give out her number. Now I know I am far from understanding women

and picking up their signals it was just what I thought would be best. But I can be and most the time am wrong.

:)Aw honey...did you find what you were looking for on ebay last night? :D ;)

[dping28]

No :( Just lots of bad dresses

spent hours looking thru pages and pages of em nothing.

[JustPeachy]

You have such

faith. :D
Why, yes. Yes I do. Blind faith. Pure faith. Retarded faith. The kind of faith that gets you

either martyred or elected. It's a calling, you know.

http://www.dancescape.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angelinnocent.gif (javascript:void(0))

[Pancho1188]

Why, yes.

Yes I do. Blind faith. Pure faith. Retarded faith. The kind of faith that gets you either martyred or elected. It's

a calling, you know.

http://www.dancescape.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/angelinnocent.gif

(http://javascript<b></b>:void(0))
Well, I nominate you for mayor of "Between a rock and a hard place"...I think you could

really do something for that area...maybe have your own rock or your own hard place...or maybe a shady

grove...they'd rename the town after you for doing such a good job!

"JustPeachy Rock"
"JustPeachy

Hardplace"
"JustPeachy Grove"

I like the sound of that last one... ;)

[DCW]

Dude, I would keep it friendly If she

decides to give you some then you acn smile and tell her your flattered but you just want to keep it at a certain

level.

Then the ball is in her court and you have a less chance of loosing a friendship ane residual pum pum

:-).


DCW

[DCW]

Dude, I would keep it friendly If she

decides to give you some then you can smile and tell her your flattered but you just want to keep it at a certain

level.

Then the ball is in her court and you have a less chance of loosing a friendship and residual pum pum

:-).


DCW

[tounge]

lol. Well I am

flattered here. As far as "nabbing" shall we say, her what advice can you share?
Thank you for

your quality input.


Happy




Your welcome. That's things you'll ge from me, quality imput and los of

laughs.

You need to lose the desparation when you talk to women. For example, when she said she worked in a

dentists office, you were all set to make an appointment. Bad move. What if she worked in a gyno's office, than

what do you do?:)

Just keep talking to as many women as possible, be a good listener, wear a nice fragrance

and feel them out for a coffee date or something. Relax and be cool. Don't read much into things with people you

just met.

Continue to ask for advice from people like myself. In the girlie chasing game men play chess while

the boys play checkers.

[DCW]

Your welcome. That's

things you'll ge from me, quality imput and los of laughs.

You need to lose the desparation when you talk to

women. For example, when she said she worked in a dentists office, you were all set to make an appointment. Bad

move. What if she worked in a gyno's office, than what do you do?:)

Just keep talking to as many women as

possible, be a good listener, wear a nice fragrance and feel them out for a coffee date or something. Relax and be

cool. Don't read much into things with people you just met.

Continue to ask for advice from people like

myself. In the girlie chasing game men play chess while the boys play checkers.


You should

consider yourself priviledged to be getting "quality input" from the love god a true legend in his own

time.........or mind :-).


DCW

Don't hate the hater, hate the skater - Lincoln

[JustPeachy]

Your welcome.

That's things you'll ge from me, quality imput and los of laughs.

You need to lose the desparation when you

talk to women. For example, when she said she worked in a dentists office, you were all set to make an appointment.

Bad move. What if she worked in a gyno's office, than what do you do?:)

Just keep talking to as many women as

possible, be a good listener, wear a nice fragrance and feel them out for a coffee date or something. Relax and be

cool. Don't read much into things with people you just met.

Continue to ask for advice from people like myself.

In the girlie chasing game men play chess while the boys play checkers.
tounge has a point. Not a pointy

point, more of a slightly rounded point, if you can deal with apparently mutually exclusive terms. (Or worse, the

application of the adjective sense of a noun to itself, which would usually result in automatic redundancy - and a

sadly undercapitalized and grieviously misspelled moniker, but I digress. And badly.)

Anyway, there are no

queens in checkers.

[Sexyredhead]

tounge has

a point. Not a pointy point, more of a slightly rounded point, if you can deal with apparently mutually exclusive

terms. (Or worse, the application of the adjective sense of a noun to itself, which would usually result in

automatic redundancy - and a sadly undercapitalized and grieviously misspelled moniker, but I digress. And badly.)



Anyway, there are no queens in checkers.

:D

I know. When I see 'tounge', I

automatically pronounce it "tawng" as in salad tongs. :D

<clears throat> But yes! No queens in checkers. :o

[JustPeachy]

:D

I

know. When I see 'tounge', I automatically pronounce it "tawng" as in salad tongs. :D

<clears throat> But yes!

No queens in checkers. :o
omg. I am soooo embarassed. It never dawned on me that he might not be making

some kind of less-than-subtle wishful erotic reference! I am so jaded. Cynical. World-weary. Wistfully trying to

recall a time before innocence had perished. When a man was someone who would gently help you tie your shoelaces, a

brother was someone who had absolutely no use for you. :rolleyes:

[Sexyredhead]

I guess that's better than

rhyming it with 'grunge'. Then I'd feel the need to go brush my teeth. :p

[JustPeachy]

I guess

that's better than rhyming it with 'grunge'. Then I'd feel the need to go brush my teeth. :p
Don't

forge to scrape!

[DrSmellThis]

Happy, single mom's

might well be less likely to hand out a phone number to a stranger, even one they want to fuck (though I have

received my share of such numbers). That is because they have to protect their children in various ways, and may

prefer to keep more of the control over who comes into their "inner realm". Kids sometimes answer phones. And people

with phone numbers have the power to call at any hour they choose (potentially disturbing the home routine), and

could maybe even look up an address. Single moms also tend to be more concerned to avoid a constant parade of

strangers and the "revolving door" thing, due to the complex emotional effect this would have on the kid(s), who

would sense something of what's going on, could develop attachment issues of various kinds, and have security

needs. There might be "impression management" issues, though this is not their only, or core, parental concern. They

have to be more choosy; that is all. But if she is already expressing interest in you, don't worry about

that part. She has made that choice. The next step is honesty about your intentions, a gesture which many single

moms might appreciate enough that it actually helps your "chances".

But that is not to say the occasional

lover wouldn't be a welcome, exciting diversion, as Peachy said so well. Single moms are not as desperate for

daddies as one might suppose, as they have to get very skilled on their own right away. They usually

become confident enough in their parenting; love their kids enough; and have high enough self esteem; to be very

choosy about who they see as parental candidates.

[DrSmellThis]

BTW, Bishops are slightly

better than knights in chess endgames too, as Bobby Fischer used to demonstrate. But a bishop pair is almost always

way better than two knights, or even a knight and bishop, due to their ability to control all the squares

from a great distance. For someone like Kasparov, having the two bishops against only knights is almost

automatically winning. Knights are fun pieces, though. And the queens in chess trump the kings in checkers any day!

(Here comes the nerd comments!) :)

[Ash]

omg. I am soooo

embarassed. It never dawned on me that he might not be making some kind of less-than-subtle wishful erotic

reference! I am so jaded. Cynical. World-weary. Wistfully trying to recall a time before innocence had perished.

When a man was someone who would gently help you tie your shoelaces, a brother was someone who

had absolutely no use for you. :rolleyes:


I'll help you tie your shoes Peachy. Go ahead, bend over.

:D

[Elana]

Happy, single

mom's might well be less likely to hand out a phone number to a stranger, even one they want to fuck (though

I have received my share of such numbers). That is because they have to protect their children in various ways, and

may prefer to keep more of the control over who comes into their "inner realm". Kids sometimes answer phones. And

people with phone numbers have the power to call at any hour they choose (potentially disturbing the home routine),

and could maybe even look up an address. Single moms also tend to be more concerned to avoid a constant parade of

strangers and the "revolving door" thing, due to the complex emotional effect this would have on the kid(s), who

would sense something of what's going on, could develop attachment issues of various kinds, and have security

needs. There might be "impression management" issues, though this is not their only, or core, parental concern. They

have to be more choosy; that is all. But if she is already expressing interest in you, don't worry about

that part. She has made that choice. The next step is honesty about your intentions, a gesture which many single

moms might appreciate enough that it actually helps your "chances".

But that is not to say the occasional lover

wouldn't be a welcome, exciting diversion, as Peachy said so well. Single moms are not as desperate for daddies as

one might suppose, as they have to get very skilled on their own right away. They usually become

confident enough in their parenting; love their kids enough; and have high enough self esteem; to be very choosy

about who they see as parental candidates.
Excellent post :)

[JustPeachy]

I'll help you tie

your shoes Peachy. Go ahead, bend over. :D
Heh - I meant in a fatherly sort of way. Wrong girl, wrong

thread, Ashie. :D

[koolking1]

Picture yourself as a

single father, do you become sexless?

[CptKipling]

Hey, take my

advice with as much salt as you deem necessary. Ultimately I can only speak of what I have experienced, and I happen

to have known two single mum's that have been messed around by guys looking for an easy lay (which is one of the

factors causing one of my best friends to be involved with drugs, in a very bad way). I didn't understand that it

was a requirement to waffle on about how any statements regarding these types of situations are going to be

generalisations, I thought it was obvious. There will always be exceptions; she could want a quick shag herself, she

might want a fu** buddy, yada yada yada, she might even just want a friend.



If *I* were in Ian's shoes, I wouldn't pursue. The bottom line for me would be to avoid any

disruption to the family, and I don't believe that involvement with a single mother of two could be anything but

disruptive - depending, of course, upon the situation.

;)

[deb]

Fantastic, JustPeachy!

It's so cool of you to take the time to share such great advice with these guys. The sad part is, only a few are

going to listen....the rest are going to continue getting all of their information from the Dr. ScrewEmHard

manual. :p
Uhhhhhhh yeah Elana, where is this "screwemhard manual", I'd like to pass some around.:D

[tounge]

For cryin out loud. He hardly knows

the women. She will probably blow him off. He only talked to her once.

Many, many, single mothers are

shagging everynight of the week and twice on Sundays. Many married women are shagging other men besides their

husbands. Many unmarried women are screwing their brains out all the time. And guess what, many women choose not to

engage in sexual relations at all for a myriad of reasons. God Bless them.

Happyman just needs confidence in

himself. He'll get that from talking to different women. He will find that there will be as many different women as

there are stars in the universe. He will learn from his mistakes. I know he will succeed. Just learn to relax around

women, be good at conversation,particually listening. Don't come across as needy and make it clear that you are

also busy with your studies. Happyman is on it!

[deb]

Happy, single

mom's might well be less likely to hand out a phone number to a stranger, even one they want to fuck (though

I have received my share of such numbers). That is because they have to protect their children in various ways, and

may prefer to keep more of the control over who comes into their "inner realm". Kids sometimes answer phones. And

people with phone numbers have the power to call at any hour they choose (potentially disturbing the home routine),

and could maybe even look up an address. Single moms also tend to be more concerned to avoid a constant parade of

strangers and the "revolving door" thing, due to the complex emotional effect this would have on the kid(s), who

would sense something of what's going on, could develop attachment issues of various kinds, and have security

needs. There might be "impression management" issues, though this is not their only, or core, parental concern. They

have to be more choosy; that is all. But if she is already expressing interest in you, don't worry about

that part. She has made that choice. The next step is honesty about your intentions, a gesture which many single

moms might appreciate enough that it actually helps your "chances".

But that is not to say the occasional lover

wouldn't be a welcome, exciting diversion, as Peachy said so well. Single moms are not as desperate for daddies as

one might suppose, as they have to get very skilled on their own right away. They usually become

confident enough in their parenting; love their kids enough; and have high enough self esteem; to be very choosy

about who they see as parental candidates.j
Well said, I couldn't have said it better myself! You would

think you were a single parent woman!! Thanks Dr. for your keen insight!! Now, do you know where that "screwemhard "

book is that Elana is talking about?:D

[Sagacious1420]

Single

Mom's are relationship based. The odds of her just wanting a wild fling are very slim.Wow, you're serious

about that aren't you. I have a hard time believing that you actually have any real experience w/ single moms.

This assumption is surely one of the things that worked against you in this situation.



I

don't think it's for me. What...a wild fling? Weren't you the one who said....
Well not

to be a jerk about it but I could care less about her kids liking me. I am not planning on sleeping with them. I

would'nt even be thinking about that aspect of it all....Remember I said I wasn't looking for anything

serious.

[Sagacious1420]

You have

a LOT to learn about single mommies! :D :D :DAin't it the truth. :rolleyes:

[DrSmellThis]

Well, Deb, I was going to

thank you for the compliment and mention that I've worked with a lot of single moms and known a lot. But it looks

you've been "banned", for some reason unknown to me, despite your high reputation. So I'll just hang out here and

be confused. :confused:

Best of fortune...

[Sagacious1420]

If you're

uneasy or don't plan on taking care of someone's kids then you better forget about it. Why assume that

she's looking for a substitute daddy? Who says she doesn't wanna just use ya and then kick ya to the curb when

sh'e sone w/ ya. :D


The number one thing in her life are her children, you come in second.

Okay, I'll give ya that much. But when she's horny, she's horny. :D

[Sagacious1420]

Single

moms are a whole lot more likely to be interested in something for themselves that DOESN'T involve the tricycle

motors. Gee, ya think so? ;) :D


You want to do something cool, offer to pay for a

sitter so she can go to dinner with you. Great suggestion, JP. Very doubtful that she wouldn't find a way

to make it happen if she really wants to see you. I'm sure that, as a single mom, she's very

resourceful.


For all you know, she may vastly prefer not to have you around pretending to

like her children, and she could really couldn't care less how you like your eggs in the morning. She may have

been thinking much more short term than that.Oh so true. :D

[happyman]

For cryin out

loud. He hardly knows the women. She will probably blow him off. He only talked to her once.

Many, many,

single mothers are shagging everynight of the week and twice on Sundays. Many married women are shagging other men

besides their husbands. Many unmarried women are screwing their brains out all the time. And guess what, many women

choose not to engage in sexual relations at all for a myriad of reasons. God Bless them.

Happyman just needs

confidence in himself. He'll get that from talking to different women. He will find that there will be as many

different women as there are stars in the universe. He will learn from his mistakes. I know he will succeed. Just

learn to relax around women, be good at conversation,particually listening. Don't come across as needy and make it

clear that you are also busy with your studies. Happyman is on it!


I did make it clear I was busy

with my studies. Infact she asked if I would be interested in doing some computer work at the office itself. I told

her I am too busy to even fix my own computer when it gets fritzy (which is true).


Thanks so much,


Ian

[happyman]

Your welcome.

That's things you'll ge from me, quality imput and los of laughs.

You need to lose the desparation when you

talk to women. For example, when she said she worked in a dentists office, you were all set to make an appointment.

Bad move. What if she worked in a gyno's office, than what do you do?:)

Just keep talking to as many women

as possible, be a good listener, wear a nice fragrance and feel them out for a coffee date or something. Relax and

be cool. Don't read much into things with people you just met.

Continue to ask for advice from people like

myself. In the girlie chasing game men play chess while the boys play checkers.

Tongue,
This is

typical:
If I wouldn't of made any advance you would of said "you didn't take control of the ball and make a

move or try and find a casual in". <This is part of what I was doing.
I really do need something at the very top

on my one front tooth looked at. You can not see it till you get under a light. I hope it is not the start of a

cavity. I was just asking around last week about a good dentist to see about it before I ever met her so this was

fact. <This is the other part of it of the attempt.
You see in these situations you have no choice

if you want to see her again but to call the ball because it may be your only chance. Just make it casual. Now if I

seen her all the time at work or something I would of loosend her up first but you know, she is from like a ways

away from the bookstore and I never seen her there before and she said she doesn't go there very often so I had to

make an advance to see if she bit on it. She didn't now that I think about it. She would of given me her number if

she was interested. I'm not going to make an appoitment there like an idiot now. lol The only way I would is if I

for sure knew he was a great dentist and everyone said he was the best around (I had braces when I was young and I

want my teeth to stay nice). Then I would make the appoitment reguardless of who worked there. It is no biggy. I am

pretty decent at talking to women actually. Although I need improvement like anyone. I do better at talking to women

than anyone of my friends. I always am the one doing the approaching and starting up a conversation while were out.

They are like "Geez you are not intimidated at all and just swing right into it".


Happy

[happyman]

[QUOTE=DCW]Dude, I would keep it

friendly If she decides to give you some then you can smile and tell her your flattered but you just want to keep it

at a certain level.

Then the ball is in her court and you have a less chance of loosing a friendship and

residual pum pum :-).

No-No. I was flattered at a person on the board telling me she she should come down to

my town and show me how it's done.
Ian

[happyman]

Like, let go

of the whole madonna complex thing, for starters. Single moms are a whole lot more likely to be interested in

something for themselves that DOESN'T involve the tricycle motors. You want to do something cool, offer to pay for

a sitter so she can go to dinner with you. You've got this woman painted up to be Mother Teresa, and just about as

accessible, AND a burden to your future lifestyle, AND WORST OF ALL - you have assumed her to be damaged goods. For

all you know, she may vastly prefer not to have you around pretending to like her children, and she could really

couldn't care less how you like your eggs in the morning. She may have been thinking much more short term than

that.

Everything I just said could be 100% true, 100% false, or anything in between. The point is, you

don't know, because you didn't take time to find out. If you wanted to know why she had a kind of glowing gaze,

you could have asked her right then and there. But you didn't. All you were interested in was was getting laid at

your complete convenience. These services can be had, of course, but they usually cost a good deal more than a

sitter, and don't generally involve the kind of women you seem to find interesting. It reminds me of something a

perennially single guy once said to me about seeing an attractive woman walk into a room. She crosses the room and

sits near another guy. In his head, she's already cheating on him. All the mones in the world aren't gonna resolve

that kind of thing. Chemist made some very wise points about that recently.

You shouldn't ask a

women why she is gazing at you. That's kinda silly.
What is she supposed to say?
Also, so what If I was

looking to get laid. Most men are. Not at my convienience but at both of ours. You act like I said just said "Here

is my address if you are interested just drop by one night and we will have fun." Gosh.
If you really want my

honest opinion (and I know I am going to get negative feedback on it)
Not for anything but lets look at the

logistics here:
She isn't the most desireable in terms of her position on the block anymore. A. She has two

kids
B. She is divorced C. She is over 30 now (not that that's bad or wrong but it is not like she is 22 and

string free anymore. Now she does have some things certain folks may not want to deal with=An ex husband, and two

kids)

So what was wrong with my view as a 33 year old single male with no children as seeing her not the

most convienient in terms of relationship material. That's all I was thinking. Not that going after a single,

divorced mother, with two kids is wrong at all. It is completely fine. If that is what you want or you truely like

her. I liked a single divorced Mother of two once and I was 29. Nothing happend at all. She was involved and now is

almost married again. Now, I realize I don't need the family thing so I was looking at it as a possible fling or

whatever. Not something in relationship or serious terms based on her situation. The only exception would be if

that's what I was looking for or really did infact care for her. I don't even know her so how could I you know. so

I was looking at it for what it was at the time and what it still is.
I really appreciate your input though. I

try to look at everything with an open mind here as well. I don't understand you're comparison to the women in the

bar with me though??? I mean, sure she may not want me either or may think guy get lost, but if I knew this for a

fact I would just think to myself: That is her problem is the way I see it. Not in an arrogant way but like, well

fine, I wouldn't need you either then believe me lol


Any more?

[JustPeachy]

Of COURSE you could have asked

her. All you had to do was tell her she had beautiful eyes, and asked if they had always looked like that, or was

she just in a great mood today? :D She prolly would have loved it.

Obviously, nobody can tell you who to be

interested in, or what kind of lifestyle suits you best. What you originally wrote sounded very disparaging and

judgmental toward women who are single mothers. And then you went on to try to justify the view. I wasn't taking

potshots at it (and I say "it" - not "you") to convince you to get involved with the woman! I was really only trying

to get you to take a look at how your viewpoint had a tendency to limit the possibilities both for yourself and

others. By all means, take whatever you can use, and just leave the rest.

[happyman]

Of COURSE you

could have asked her. All you had to do was tell her she had beautiful eyes, and asked if they had always looked

like that, or was she just in a great mood today? :D She prolly would have loved it.

Obviously, nobody can

tell you who to be interested in, or what kind of lifestyle suits you best. What you originally wrote sounded very

disparaging and judgmental toward women who are single mothers. And then you went on to try to justify the view. I

wasn't taking potshots at it (and I say "it" - not "you") to convince you to get involved with the woman! I was

really only trying to get you to take a look at how your viewpoint had a tendency to limit the possibilities both

for yourself and others. By all means, take whatever you can use, and just leave the rest.

Just

Peachy, You are .....Just Peachy. You're input is very educational and that was a great reply to the thing to say

about her gleam. I wish I would of had that wit then and there. All you say is taken with serious measure on this

board. Not only by me, but otheres as well. I can tell. Oh no Peachy, I knew you were never taking pot-shots or

anything. It never came across like any of that at all. I am not over sensitive lol I was never discouraged over it

or even lossing sleep. I just wanted some input incase I could improve my game a litltle. You and all the rest here

help. Any more educational advice?
Good lookin out,
Happy

[JustPeachy]

Just Peachy,

You are .....Just Peachy. You're input is very educational and that was a great reply to the thing to say about her

gleam. I wish I would of had that wit then and there. All you say is taken with serious measure on this board. Not

only by me, but otheres as well. I can tell. Oh no Peachy, I knew you were never taking pot-shots or anything. It

never came across like any of that at all. I am not over sensitive lol I was never discouraged over it or even

lossing sleep. I just wanted some input incase I could improve my game a litltle. You and all the rest here help.

Any more educational advice?
Good lookin out,
Happy
NOTHING I say should be ever be taken as anything

but my own opinion.
But if it works for you, then cool. I'm happy.

Er, no, wait. YOU'RE Happy. I'm

JustPeachy.:D

[tounge]

I did make it clear

I was busy with my studies. Infact she asked if I would be interested in doing some computer work at the office

itself. I told her I am too busy to even fix my own computer when it gets fritzy (which is true).


Thanks so much,


Ian



Buddy, in your original post, YOU said that you

asked for her number to help fix her computer. And she didn't give it to you. Sorry dude you are talking out of

both sides of your mouth.

And just because someone does not give you a phone # does not mean you are

rejected.

[tounge]

Tongue,

I

really do need something at the very top on my one front tooth looked at. You can not see it till you get under a

light. I hope it is not the start of a cavity. I was just asking around last week about a good dentist to see about

it before


Happy


Dude you said in your first post, Don't worry my teeth are fine. Again both sides of your

mouth.

I think the gal saw through you, so do I.

[happyman]

Buddy, in your

original post, YOU said that you asked for her number to help fix her computer. And she didn't give it to you.

Sorry dude you are talking out of both sides of your mouth.

And just because someone does not give you a

phone # does not mean you are rejected.

Tongue,
I never talk out of both sides of my mouth. Yes,

I did ask for her number to fix her computer......at her house. No, she didn't give it to me. She later inquired

about my interest in fixing/working on computers at the dentist office where she works.
I

declined, saying I was too busy to even fix my own when I encounter a problem.
Ian

[tounge]

Tongue,
I never

talk out of both sides of my mouth. Yes, I did ask for her number to fix her computer......at her house. No, she

didn't give it to me. She later inquired about my interest in fixing/working on computers at the dentist office

where she works.
I declined, saying I was too busy to even fix my own when I encounter a

problem.
Ian
One minute you're asking for her number to fix her

computer. Then you tell her you are too busy even to fix your own? Even a blonde can see through this gig.



Anyhow, good luck on what ever happens. I'm off to enjoy the nice weather.

[happyman]

One minute you're

asking for her number to fix her computer. Then you tell her you are too busy even to fix your own? Even a blonde

can see through this gig.

Anyhow, good luck on what ever happens. I'm off to enjoy the nice

weather.
Listen,
What I told her is I could walk her through her problem over the phone. I told her

it was a software problem most likely and I could probably fix it by having her uninstall the program causing the

conflict.
By my teeth being fine I was inferring that just because I was looking for a dentist didn't mean my

teeth were all screwed up. Which it may of sounded to some by the way the post was reading. I just was wondering

what something at the gum-line of my front teeth in which if it was the start of a cavity I didn't want to wait

too long on it.
Happy