Check out these midgets. [Archive] - Love-Scent Pheromones Forum

DZorro

06-03-2004, 02:57 AM

A man walks into a psychiatrist's

office wearing nothing but cellophane underwear. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says,
"I can clearly

see you're nuts." :D

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? A: Dam.

A blonde went to

eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"

The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to

blondes."

The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said,

"Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."

The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much

the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red

head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."

This joke is

dedicated to Elana :D (Peppino)

Penis Requests a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary

for the following reasons:

I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I

do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I

work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious

diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,

the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall

asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not

stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured

and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You

don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire

well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before

you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the

workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. Sincerely,
The Management

Attention Shoppers!
Why

did Michael Jackson rush to Wal-Mart? Because he heard kids pants were half-off!

Understanding

Marketing

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in

bed."

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy.

You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, "She's/He's fantastic in bed."

That's

Advertising.

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next

day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a

fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up

their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public

Relations.

You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're

fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

Dr. Doctor
Two doctors opened an office in a small

town.

They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."

The town council was

not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors."

This was not acceptable

either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

No go!

Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again.

Then came, "Manic-Depressives and

Anal-Retentives."

But is was still not good! So they tried:

"Minds and Behinds"

"Analysis and Anal

Cysts"

"Nuts and Butts"

"Freaks and Cheeks"

"Loons and Moons"

"Lost Souls and Ass Holes"

None worked.

Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be

accepted by the council: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends." APPROVED

Sorry to boor you with my odd humor

from The Netherlands. :D

I am still a bit tired from yesterday, and woke up early this morning.

DZorro,